Rata Blanca
Senior Don Juan
Will you get married? yes or no? at what age?
Discuss!
Discuss!
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Would you get married?
- Thread starter Rata Blanca
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
WhitePimp
Master Don Juan
It'd be nice...eventually. (I'm only 21) It'd be good to have a woman who's steady and reliable in my life enough to actually have kids with and a future. Whether married or just living together is optional but either way, I guess I'm a yeah. :rock:
Rata Blanca
Senior Don Juan
Around what age, White Pimp?
Docs
Banned
I don't know. If I was to get married, I'd be signing a pre-nup...no matter who it was...I guess I'm more for just living with the girl then not..
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
In a town where big risk are a way of life, I hope one day to take the biggest risk and commit to a girl who I'm betting will be the love of my life for the rest of my life. It marks the end of my days as a player and signifies my commitment to a different type of life. On one hand I find it hard to believe that such a life is even possible for someone like me with my dangerous lifestyle and endless party atmosphere. How can anything be more rewarding then what I'm doing now? Then I think about how happy my parents and other familes were/are commiting to something that, in my opinoin, is the ultimate human transgression, in having a life that's divoted to someone else ie a wife and kids. What I do now is very easy incomparson to something like that. When I man up and get my act together I hope to pit myself against the ultimate challange in getting and sustaining a sucessful marriage.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Quiksilver
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2006
- Messages
- 2,813
- Reaction score
- 55
No kids for me.
Looking at my age you might say it's just the immaturity talking...But I've actually thought about it quite abit.
It is possibly to have an amazing relationship without kids.
Marriage is overrated, in my opinion...atleast now it is. The divorce rate is higher than ever, so to "settle down" is not what it once was, people are alot more free-spirited.
Who knows, decisions change, people change...But right now, and as far as I can see into the future, marriage wouldn't be a good idea for me, her, or the kids.
Looking at my age you might say it's just the immaturity talking...But I've actually thought about it quite abit.
It is possibly to have an amazing relationship without kids.
Marriage is overrated, in my opinion...atleast now it is. The divorce rate is higher than ever, so to "settle down" is not what it once was, people are alot more free-spirited.
Who knows, decisions change, people change...But right now, and as far as I can see into the future, marriage wouldn't be a good idea for me, her, or the kids.
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
This is what I mean by a greater challange. To make a marriage work in these times especially will be far more difficult then in the past. Kids are also a challenge, but little about that has changed in the least. With so many outside forces conspiring against you, who could hope to suceed where many others have failed? I hope to face that challange one day when I'm ready.Quiksilver said:
Chosen1
Master Don Juan
You know ever since I was a little kid people have been saying get married. I don't ever want to get married because then the chick might think that I'm a chump and have kids with other guys while I support. Not me. But then again I am black and people don't expect us to get married.
No way.
I'll 'marry' a woman. I will make a big party of it and all but I won't marry in law so to speak.
That creates all kinds of attachments and I don't think that is a good idea. A bond with someone is great, but an attachment is something else and I don't want that.
Who do you respect more?
-a married couple who divorces after a few years
-a married couple that stays together for the rest of their lives
-a couple who stays together their entire life without getting married
Mine is for the last option.
"Where ever there is an attachment, association with it brings endless misery."
I'll 'marry' a woman. I will make a big party of it and all but I won't marry in law so to speak.
That creates all kinds of attachments and I don't think that is a good idea. A bond with someone is great, but an attachment is something else and I don't want that.
Who do you respect more?
-a married couple who divorces after a few years
-a married couple that stays together for the rest of their lives
-a couple who stays together their entire life without getting married
Mine is for the last option.
"Where ever there is an attachment, association with it brings endless misery."
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
~attrACTION~
Banned
Yes, some day. But, it's ONLY because I want to have kids...and I probably don't want to get married until after I'm 30 something. If I didn't want kids, I would never get married. I want to have a son someday, that would be cool to teach him things.
I've yet to have an LTR...the longest I've ever been with any girl is 2 weeks...
I've yet to have an LTR...the longest I've ever been with any girl is 2 weeks...
spider_007
Master Don Juan
will I ever get married?
probably not
do i want to?
not really. She would have to be a exceptional woman (I mean like really really different then the rest of them)
age?
maybe in my 40's (and her 20's )
probably not
do i want to?
not really. She would have to be a exceptional woman (I mean like really really different then the rest of them)
age?
maybe in my 40's (and her 20's
)diplomatic_lies
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2002
- Messages
- 4,366
- Reaction score
- 8
No, because marriage creates children, which perpetuates the human race. This kind of conflicts with my goal of wiping out humanity.
bbestar
Banned
Yes, I will get married, and have kids..
Now that Im the World No.1 Earl Alenton, the winner of the
U.S. Open, French Open, Australian Open, Wimbledon Open.
And I will Give God the Glory, Great things he hath done, and for these victories.
Now that Im the World No.1 Earl Alenton, the winner of the
U.S. Open, French Open, Australian Open, Wimbledon Open.
And I will Give God the Glory, Great things he hath done, and for these victories.
Quiksilver
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2006
- Messages
- 2,813
- Reaction score
- 55
You realize that your "dream girl" probably hasn't even been born yet, right?
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Docs
Banned
On the other hand, some people's dream girls now will be old saggy wrenches when they turn 30 and want to marry...persay..Jessica Simpson.
Haha.
Haha.
This is an issue between my girlfriend and I. She wants to get married and have kids. I want neither!
Marriage doesn't benefit me in any way and generally does not benefit men!
One problem is that once we are married, it'll be a right hassle if I want to leave/divorce her, so she can get as complacent as she wants, get fat, lazy, b1tchy and so on. Maybe the same will happen to me - afterall, I don't need to impress her (or any women) any more, so I won't be needing my washboard abs or smart wardrobe.
Isn't that what usually happens in marriages?
Then there's the whole inequality thing, where men are generally expected to take responsibility for their wives, earn money to buy food, pay the rent and so on. I'll say it again, marriage does not benefit men!
And I'll be honest, if I had my girlfriend (then wife) around me all the time, sharing the same house, having a decision in what food I eat, what TV programs I watch and what I do with my free time, I would go crazy!
Marriage doesn't benefit me in any way and generally does not benefit men!
One problem is that once we are married, it'll be a right hassle if I want to leave/divorce her, so she can get as complacent as she wants, get fat, lazy, b1tchy and so on. Maybe the same will happen to me - afterall, I don't need to impress her (or any women) any more, so I won't be needing my washboard abs or smart wardrobe.
Isn't that what usually happens in marriages?
Then there's the whole inequality thing, where men are generally expected to take responsibility for their wives, earn money to buy food, pay the rent and so on. I'll say it again, marriage does not benefit men!
And I'll be honest, if I had my girlfriend (then wife) around me all the time, sharing the same house, having a decision in what food I eat, what TV programs I watch and what I do with my free time, I would go crazy!
Yes, in a decade or more, to the right woman with the right roots. To me, marriage is a matter of continuing my family's legacy and ensuring that the heir to my fortune is the legitimate child of my loins. I want to return my descendants to their origins, and that means breeding with the right women of the right roots.
Disconnect
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2004
- Messages
- 524
- Reaction score
- 0
- Age
- 38
"Marriage doesn't benefit me in any way and generally does not benefit men!"
AMEN. While there used to be benefits in this, nowadays it's nothing more than a piece of paper with no romantical connotations.
Why I will not marry (not in any particular order):
1) Divorce laws. "If you cheat on me, I get your stuff. If I cheat on you, I still get your stuff"
2) Cost of wedding + ring + other superfluous bs: I am not planning to work my ass off during the third decade of my life just to blow it all on one day that will not change anything in my favor. And while it is possible to find women who do not want an expensive wedding, majority are the other kind.
3) She WILL change. Given the fact that with age everything seems to get hairier, larger, and closer to the ground, it happens way faster in marriage. Once she bags you, she has no real reason to keep working her ass off in the gym, or even put on makeup in the morning. Sure, she may keep doing it for a while, but that motivation will soon run out (since it doesn't change her chances of anything).
4) You have no way out. Used to be that laws were fair (I think), but now that divorce is complete financial suicide, it's complete lunacy to take a gamble where the odds of you losing are over 50%.
5) There is no more challenge. When you two dated, you both had to work for the relationship. Once you marry, she doesn't have to, and as the major component of this board's theory states, once there is no more challenge, the other person loses interest (this means cheating, by the way).
6) Most women are not marriage material. They ARE, however, perfect fvcking material. So why settle down?
7) I can't imagine living with a girl, even the most perfect girl. Once you do, you discover all of her imperfections, and I embrace the illusion. When you marry, not only do you get to live together, but your relationship gets replaced with so much mundane crap (groceries, shopping, taxes, work ...) that you begin taking each other for granted.
8) Kids. I am selfish enough that I refuse to sign my life over to someone else. My life and my relationship will not take a back seat to screaming brats who'll probably end up resenting me once they move out (be honest, how much do your parents piss you off, despite all that they have done for you?)
AMEN. While there used to be benefits in this, nowadays it's nothing more than a piece of paper with no romantical connotations.
Why I will not marry (not in any particular order):
1) Divorce laws. "If you cheat on me, I get your stuff. If I cheat on you, I still get your stuff"
2) Cost of wedding + ring + other superfluous bs: I am not planning to work my ass off during the third decade of my life just to blow it all on one day that will not change anything in my favor. And while it is possible to find women who do not want an expensive wedding, majority are the other kind.
3) She WILL change. Given the fact that with age everything seems to get hairier, larger, and closer to the ground, it happens way faster in marriage. Once she bags you, she has no real reason to keep working her ass off in the gym, or even put on makeup in the morning. Sure, she may keep doing it for a while, but that motivation will soon run out (since it doesn't change her chances of anything).
4) You have no way out. Used to be that laws were fair (I think), but now that divorce is complete financial suicide, it's complete lunacy to take a gamble where the odds of you losing are over 50%.
5) There is no more challenge. When you two dated, you both had to work for the relationship. Once you marry, she doesn't have to, and as the major component of this board's theory states, once there is no more challenge, the other person loses interest (this means cheating, by the way).
6) Most women are not marriage material. They ARE, however, perfect fvcking material. So why settle down?
7) I can't imagine living with a girl, even the most perfect girl. Once you do, you discover all of her imperfections, and I embrace the illusion
. When you marry, not only do you get to live together, but your relationship gets replaced with so much mundane crap (groceries, shopping, taxes, work ...) that you begin taking each other for granted.8) Kids. I am selfish enough that I refuse to sign my life over to someone else. My life and my relationship will not take a back seat to screaming brats who'll probably end up resenting me once they move out (be honest, how much do your parents piss you off, despite all that they have done for you?
)"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.