That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
And thats why most marriages fail these days. People stop trying. They get lazy and it all goes to sh!t. Don't lose focus and this probably won't happen to you.Jariel said:...she can get as complacent as she wants, get fat, lazy, b1tchy and so on. Maybe the same will happen to me.... ...Isn't that what usually happens in marriages?
Don't be so idealistic. No one ever said that life was going to be fair -Jariel said:Then there's the whole inequality thing, where men are generally expected to take responsibility for their wives, earn money to buy food, pay the rent and so on. I'll say it again, marriage does not benefit men!
I've been married just over a year now (hence the reason I'm not around much anymore) and it can be a pain at times. I see the ugly, human side of woman's true nature everyday now (and they are every bit as disgusting as we are). It's true, I can't spend hours chating with you guys and hanging around my favorite bars and clubs anymore, but thats cool.Jariel said:And I'll be honest, if I had my girlfriend (then wife) around me all the time, sharing the same house, having a decision in what food I eat, what TV programs I watch and what I do with my free time, I would go crazy!
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Oxide said:What were you looking for Spike? Be exact in your response
Thanks for sharing your experiences, good post.Spike_the_Dragon said:I've been married just over a year now (hence the reason I'm not around much anymore) and it can be a pain at times. I see the ugly, human side of woman's true nature everyday now (and they are every bit as disgusting as we are). It's true, I can't spend hours chating with you guys and hanging around my favorite bars and clubs anymore, but thats cool.
All that time I was looking for something. You know what I'm talking about because you are looking for the same thing. This is the reason why you read about this stuff. It's the reason why you are reading this now. And if it isn't the case, then you're probablly homosexual and don't realise it yet.
I'm kidding but I'm not.
Anyways, I'll just tell you that I never found what I was looking for and neither will you. I never found it because it doesn't exist. You are chasing after an illusion. The 'idealistic' woman that every man desires. The woman that Hollywood and 'Entertainment Tonight' tell you that you have to be with.
Reality can be a b!tch, but it can also set you free.
Am I saying that you should run off and get married!? - no. Marriage truly isn't intended for everyone. infact, your life will be alot easier if you do not marry. It would also be alot easier if you just curled up into a ball and vegetated until you expired...
All I'm really saying is this - grow up!
It's time to put away childish things and be a man because a man is all you will ever be. Your smart wardrobe and favorite television programs amount to exactly jack sh!t. A man takes nothing from this world that he can hold in his hands. Ecclesiastes says it all, and its just as true of women as it is your bank statement or your fancy shoes.
Ask yourselves one question, 'What can I take but cannot touch?'
I hope you figure it out.![]()
Having children and getting married are not synonymous. Not anymore. Aren't 30% of births (in US or Canada, don't remember) out of wedlock? There has to be something driving people to not marry.If some guys don't want to marry, that's fine with me. If some guys don't mind thinning out the genepool by reducing the range of opportunities for their bastard children, hey, that means greater opportunities for my legitimate children and thus a stronger, longer, and greater lineage.
I never said such a thing. Please reread what I wrote, and do yourself a favor and read Freakonomics. Legitimate children are more likely to endure a positive living environment than bastard children who either do not know their parents, were born to a single-parent environment, or who are born to an environment in which commitment is disparaged or casually dismissed.Disconnect said:Having children and getting married are not synonymous.
Marriage is a social contract. The religious aspect of marriage is artificial and was primarily created for the purpose of establishing common ground in cases of arranged marriages. Learn the sociological history of marriage. Marriage is also a legal and binding contract that provides many social benefits.Disconnect said:But marriage for the sake of marriage (cause that's really all it is if not for religion. There is no 'higher puropse' or 'superior morality' of marriage anymore) is illogical.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Yeah, this is sad man. That woman does exist, I have seen people who are with *their* perfect woman. My brother is with a woman like that now, has been for like the last 15 years, and is still absolutely in love with her. Their personalities compliment eachother, they dont live simply for eachother but for other passions as well. She is very nurturing, and takes good care of him. He loves her for that, and she loves doing it to make him smile.Spike_the_Dragon said:Anyways, I'll just tell you that I never found what I was looking for and neither will you. I never found it because it doesn't exist. You are chasing after an illusion. The 'idealistic' woman that every man desires. The woman that Hollywood and 'Entertainment Tonight' tell you that you have to be with.
Dude, Im older than yourself!Spike_the_Dragon said:I got married because I found the right woman and I love her. No one is 'perfect'. No one. Live long enough and you'll figure that out.![]()
If you guys were really so detached from women you wouldn't spend so much time on a website about meeting and seducing women.
Maybe I'll post something again in a year or two. Maybe not.
Theres' detachment for you.
Laters.![]()
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.