Would You Consider This A Red Flag?

[soulforge]

Has a girl ever said this to you?

"You make me a better person"

In all my dating years.. Anytime a girl has ever said this to me, she eventually turned out to be a little unstable or even outright crazy lol.

Immediately two things come to my mind.

01. First I'm not your therapist, it's not my job to transform you into a better human being.

02. If I'm making you a better person, then it's very likely, prior to meeting me, you where a very chitty person & likely you will go back to being a chitty person.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Need more context and background of the girl. It’s not a bad thing for you and your partner to be a positive thing for each other. However, you do make a valid point as well.

 

[soulforge]

Need more context and background of the girl. It’s not a bad thing for you and your partner to be a positive thing for each other. However, you do make a valid point as well.

I'm just talking in general.

It's no particular girl.. It's just something I have experienced once or twice in the past.

I always noted it as a red flag in my mind.

 

[self_is_an_illusion]

No bro it's okay to influence your partner and let them influence you. A relationship without growth is not healthy

The Mutual Benefits of Accepting Influence in Relationships

I learned, as a new mother about the importance of accepting influence as one of Gottman’s Four Steps of Constructive Problem Solving.

www.gottman.com

 

[Agamemnon43]

My gf a few years back said that I was a much better person than she was. I didnt like it and soon enough she turns to be an emotional wreck and pretty dishonest so i dumped her. I think is basically the same thing as yours. Not a good sign.

 

[soulforge]

My gf a few years back said that I was a much better person than she was. I didnt like it and soon enough she turns to be an emotional wreck and pretty dishonest so i dumped her. I think is basically the same thing as yours. Not a good sign.

Yeh bro.

I mean this kind of statement rarely comes out of the mouth of a stable woman.. Stable woman don't depend on a man to make them better people.

Twice I have heard this statement come out of a girls mouth... Both occasions they was unstable and full of drama.

I think if a man ever hears this statement.. he should definitely run.

 

[self_is_an_illusion]

Influence in a relationship is natural and inevitable.

 

[soulforge]

Influence in a relationship is natural and inevitable.

Yes with a stable woman.. agreed.

However when a somewhat troublesome woman says "you make me a better person"

Then it's much more likely, she has a history of creating chaos or being very difficult in relationships.. She Inherintly understands that she is a bad person.

You my friend, are referring to a good woman, who values the input and guidance of a good man, who elevates her.

Whole different ball game.

 

[soulforge]

Yes, it’s a red flag. It’s a temporary ego boost used by most borderline chicks. Once the weather changes, she’ll paint the man black and go on a smear campaign about how he made her a worse person.

Never take any compliment a chick says serious.

Yes it's not a statement a normal healthy girl would make, unless she has a history of being a bad person.

 

[self_is_an_illusion]

Yes with a stable woman.. agreed.

However when a somewhat troublesome woman says "you make me a better person"

Then it's much more likely, she has a history of creating chaos or being very difficult in relationships.. She Inherintly understands that she is a bad person.

You my friend, are referring to a good woman, who values the input and guidance of a good man, who elevates her.

Whole different ball game.

Mmmmmm I see. Yeah bro I agree. The mood swings and impulsive behaviour can be taxing to deal with. It doesn't mean they're bad people just not a good fit.

 

[soulforge]

Mmmmmm I see. Yeah bro I agree. The mood swings and impulsive behaviour can be taxing to deal with. It doesn't mean they're bad people just not a good fit.

Unless you catch her fvking your neighbour.. Then she is a bad person.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

that's ironic since I've told a woman I'M seeing that.... lol not sure what that means

And as far as I know, I'm not crazy lol. maybe do need the therapist though..

 

[soulforge]

that's ironic since I've told a woman I'M seeing that.... lol not sure what that means

And as far as I know, I'm not crazy lol. maybe do need the therapist though..

If you said this to a girl, then it's actually good & is likely to work in your favour.

She gets the bad boy vibes off you, or somehow she is taming the ex bad boy.


When a girl makes such a statement, she is subconsciously letting you know about her Toxic Past

 

[PlatoPacks23]

If you said this to a girl, then it's actually good & is likely to work in your favour.

She gets the bad boy vibes off you, or somehow she is taming the ex bad boy.


When a girl makes such a statement, she is subconsciously letting you know about her Toxic Past

ehh, I dont think I come across as a bad boy lol. but yes hopefully it's a good thing I said this

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She is setting you up to dump you and make it sound like "you are too good for her", which we know just means she isn't interested but doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

 

[Murk]

Yea one ex said this to me, she was one of my first gfs we went to school together. We hooked up most recently in 2018 and 2019 but I refused to take things further. She’s now having a baby via IVF paying £4000 with a guy that looked like he just got sentenced to 30 years.

 

[soulforge]

Yea one ex said this to me, she was one of my first gfs we went to school together. We hooked up most recently in 2018 and 2019 but I refused to take things further. She’s now having a baby via IVF paying £4000 with a guy that looked like he just got sentenced to 30 years.

Does he look like a criminal? Or depressed about being with your ex haha

Yeh those words uttered from a girls mouth, is rarely a good sign.

 

[Murk]

Does he look like a criminal? Or depressed about being with your ex haha

Yeh those words uttered from a girls mouth, is rarely a good sign.

Bit of both, she came out and showed everyone the baby scan, he looked high/miserable. Lucky escape for me, good luck to them.