I was wondering if you saw an attractive girl where she worked, such as a restaraunt or a coffee shop, and you knew she was single, would you become a regular, going back several times over a period of weeks, trying to establish a rapport and then asking for the number? Or is it wrong to persue a girl while she is at work? Thanks for any insight.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Would you become a "regular" to meet a girl?
- Thread starter leoncour
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2004
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- 11,680
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- 4,876
Why waste days, weeks, and months to build rapport? You can build it within a few minutes. Chat with her for a bit, go do something else. Chat with her for a bit, go do something else. Chat and number close, then leave.
This is my favorite strategy. It's effective, and it works.
This is my favorite strategy. It's effective, and it works.
Le Parisien
Master Don Juan
I can't give you a direct answer, but please answer this:leoncour said:
If you do become a regular, and it turns out that she has a BF or she's totally not interested by you, basically it doesn't work out the way you wanted. Would you feel like "Damn, that was a pure waste of time, energy and money" or more like "too bad it didn't work out, but at least I genuinely liked the food, drinks, place; so it's not that bad"?
By now you already got my answer right?
Just one last point: like many people have pointed out here before, trying to pick up a chick when it's actually her job to get money out of your pocket (sure, here we are only talking about a waitress, not a stripper) is generally not a good idea. But hey give it a try if you feel like it.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
No. That's a disingenuous attempt to identify with a woman.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
NorPacWolf
Senior Don Juan
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- Oct 8, 2005
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I'm a regular at many places. If you like the vibe, or the food and/or the coffee, there's nothing wrong with becoming a regular. If you think the food is abysmal, as are the drinks and the energy level is pathetic enough to put you to sleep, then I would try to close the girl at the first opportunity.
Wolf
Wolf
leoncour said:
realsmoothie
Master Don Juan
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Women are more difficult to pick up at work because they're in "work" mode. They have their shields up, and are in a place in which they feel comfortable.