"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Would u take yourself out of a r-ship if you felt you werent ready?

J

jbbrain

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This is in relation to MOTU's posts about his breakup. If you felt very needy, insecure, jealous and acting just not like your "usual" self, would you take yourself out of it? Would you take the risk of losing someone you really care for in order to deal with some your own deeps seated issues? Even if the girl is somewhat accepting/ignorant about the profoundness of these problems?

Even if you really really liked this girl, and she was super into you and you guys would have had a "great" thing going if only you got your shyt together, would you take yourself out of the relationship or continue to pretend you're a real Don Juan even when you shutter in disbelief when you realize how much of an AFC you truly are in the relationship?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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N

Nightspark

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sounds familiar

why that's basically what i went through in the last 2months of my 5 month relationship...

it's simple if you dont like the way you're acting you must stop it and basically cut her off... this girl is bringing in a manipulated version of your true self. if you cant be yourself around her and dont like what she has turned you into... then it's time to say goodbye...

sometimes sacrificing her is more important then sacrificing your true-self
 
J

jbbrain

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interesting. So you took yourself out of it then as means of saying basically "I'm goign to fukk this relationship up sooner or later anyways, might as well do it now"?

or did u just suck if up and hope she didnt notice?
 
D

DarkCityNight

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If you want some time apart to deal with your issues, realize that the relationship will have changed when you are ready to come back to it. That's part of the lesson from MOTU recent posts. So if you really care about her, don't take that risk.

Would you rather work these issues out and be alone? Or would you rather work them out and at least have someone there?

Still you need to be true to yourself so do what you know is right considering everything involved. Does it really matter if you're a DJ or a closet AFC in a relationship? Before you came to this site, what was your goal? To be a DJ or just to have a good relationship?
 
J

jbbrain

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Originally posted by DarkCityNight
If you want some time apart to deal with your issues, realize that the relationship will have changed when you are ready to come back to it. That's part of the lesson from MOTU recent posts. So if you really care about her, don't take that risk.

But what if you knew the way she was "making you feel" (implying it was always about your issues and not hers that really drove you to chumpness) will mean the end of the relationship anyways? Do yiu save face, save you dignity and back out of it. Or do you think its wiser to try to battle through it while in your relationhip knowing very well that verbalizing your problems to you girlfriend can perhaps be seen as emasculating?

Would you rather work these issues out and be alone? Or would you rather work them out and at least have someone there?

Still you need to be true to yourself so do what you know is right considering everything involved. Does it really matter if you're a DJ or a closet AFC in a relationship? Before you came to this site, what was your goal? To be a DJ or just to have a good relationship?
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For your last questions, I came to this site just to learn how to pick up girls when i was 18-19 or so. That was it. Now, at 22, im in a relationhip, which may or may not last and so being A MAN in this realm poses its own challenges. The notion of being a DJ doesnt change much. Your mindset will hopefully always be the same.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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C

CLOONEY

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Yo JB, whats good? Anyways mate in relation to your question, I think this is something that is not so cut and dry, straight forward so to speak. There are HUNDREDS of variables in each given situation, I think that it is just a decision you have to make at the time. You have to take your emotions into account, but not act on them instantly, you also must use rational logic. Make your decision and see where it takes you, not everything in life can be controlled. Sometimes you just gotta take the chance and learn from your mistake.

If you need time apart as in MOTU's situation, and if you do end up getting back with her after only a few weeks, OR MONTHS, you two should be able to work through your problem, if you cant, you had no hope in the LR anyways!
 
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