Would like assessment of this date cancellation...

[bsyde82]

Seen this girl 5 times now, things have been steadily ascending since the first date but nothing crazy. She lives kind of far away, and works every other weekend, but to me that's been pretty good in regulating the intervals of hanging out. Only contact with her is when I see her, or texting for logistics. Last sunday, she did text me (first random initiation by her) randomly just to say hi, which I turned into a convo about logistics for the next hangout and that was that. We hang out Wednesday, it's fine, we casually make plans to see e/o Saturday. Nothing specific, just like hey let's hang out Saturday.

She worked Thursday. On Friday afternoon as I was literally texting her to make plans for Sat, she texted me saying she got sick from work and can't hang out this weekend, with no reschedule. Unfortunately the old beta still lives somewhat in me so I replied with ah that sucks (which is fine imo) but then I offered to bring her food, which she declined due to "not being able to keep food down" (yea, ready for the criticism on that one), to which I replied "hope you feel better" and that was that. I'm not going to do the ******* thing, the curt short replies. Just not my persona. A bit more context - she's 10 years younger, but she's not from around here, doesn't have many friends, no family in the area, and very shy. It seems to me like she's pretty relationship-inexperienced. So if it was just a normal chick from the area, I would definitely lean hard towards, she just lost interest suddenly, it happens. But the fact that she's shy, not from around her, relationship-inexperienced (maybe) makes me think, although I realize that could be me just justifying false hopes.

Thoughts? My intent is to just let it be, and let her contact me, if she does. Although I'd have the nagging feeling that a lot of her actions are due to shyness, the age gap.

 

[backseatjuan]

Did you fck or for 5 dates all you did was hang out?

 

[bsyde82]

We only made out, but I didn't push further. I mean, not sure if this is the right forum, I've barely lurked here and this is my first post. I'm familiar with RP to the extent the rationale male is considered legit RP here. Anyways, this girl is someone I potentially like so not just trying to get her in bed. Plus, she's like i said shy. But maybe I'm reading the shyness all wrong?

 

[marmel75]

We only made out, but I didn't push further. I mean, not sure if this is the right forum, I've barely lurked here and this is my first post. I'm familiar with RP to the extent the rationale male is considered legit RP here. Anyways, this girl is someone I potentially like so not just trying to get her in bed. Plus, she's like i said shy. But maybe I'm reading the shyness all wrong?

You had your chance and didn't take it. Women want to fvck. She gave you 2 more chances than most women. She must have really liked you

 

[soulforge]

We only made out, but I didn't push further. I mean, not sure if this is the right forum, I've barely lurked here and this is my first post. I'm familiar with RP to the extent the rationale male is considered legit RP here. Anyways, this girl is someone I potentially like so not just trying to get her in bed. Plus, she's like i said shy. But maybe I'm reading the shyness all wrong?

You didn't fuk her 5 dates in... Forget about her and move on.

 

[bsyde82]

Would you guy have the same thought if, hypothetically speaking, she was very sexually inexperienced? Don't know what the demographic is here, but a 26 YO asian american girl can be very sexually inexperienced depending on how they grew up and where. I can't imagine someone like that expecting sex even within 5 dates but yea i know, AWALT

 

[Pogejr]

I don’t believe “all women are like that” but do you really believe that you have found an extremely rare and sheltered 26yo (objectively past her prime years, but she could still be banging!) who’s a perfect virgin and sees the fact that you’re not trying to sleep with her the 5 times you guys have hung out as “noble”?

To me, it seems like you’ve developed feelings for this girl even though you haven’t slept with her yet. Most* guys don’t see anything wrong with that but most* girls can’t develop feelings (edit: an attachment) for a guy without first sleeping with them. To her, you’re just another friend. Can’t say for sure but it seems like she found another guy and that random “hi” should’ve been your clue.

 

[bsyde82]

I don’t believe “all women are like that” but do you really believe that you have found an extremely rare and sheltered 26yo (objectively past her prime years, but she could still be banging!) who’s a perfect virgin and sees the fact that you’re not trying to sleep with her the 5 times you guys have hung out as “noble”?

To me, it seems like you’ve developed feelings for this girl even though you haven’t slept with her yet. Most* guys don’t see anything wrong with that but most* girls can’t develop feelings (edit: an attachment) for a guy without first sleeping with them. To her, you’re just another friend. Can’t say for sure but it seems like she found another guy and that random “hi” should’ve been your clue.

the random "hi" being a clue as in an invite to come take her now? The last hangout before the cancellation was just right after that, so you're saying, that wednesday was my one opportunity to seal the deal?

Yea I know, it seems highly unlikely I found that type, and it didn't cross my mind I'm being "noble" - she's not necessarily conservative (not religious) but to me just very inexperienced, like in life in general. I'm not even the type to rush sex like that although I understand 5 dates is a lot so maybe I need to adjust my schedules here.

 

[bsyde82]

funny thing is, today (the date she cancelled) was to be the day I finally bring her back (assuming the date went well and things kept ascending)

 

[sazc]

Just don't worry about all of it. Get out and try to meet more women. If she texts, she texts. If she doesn't, the other women will fill your time

 

[EyeBRollin]

You were too weak and left too much in the air. Truth is you never had a date. A date is when the location, date, and time are agreed upon by both people. You failed the test my friend.

 

[bsyde82]

You were too weak and left too much in the air. Truth is you never had a date. A date is when the location, date, and time are agreed upon by both people. You failed the test my friend.

care to expand a bit? How was I "too weak"? Well the first time we ever met, we both mutually agreed on a location, date and time and she arrived right one time. Was that a "date"? The 2nd time, we both agreed on a location, date and time. Matter of fact, this happened every time, except this Saturday, because I don't make specific plans that far in advance, which was the point of the day-before text.

 

[EyeBRollin]

care to expand a bit? How was I "too weak"? Well the first time we ever met, we both mutually agreed on a location, date and time and she arrived right one time. Was that a "date"? The 2nd time, we both agreed on a location, date and time. Matter of fact, this happened every time, except this Saturday, because I don't make specific plans that far in advance, which was the point of the day-before text.

Your mistake was assuming that because you did things right in the past, you get the luxury of slacking off. Maybe if she was the girlfriend or you had sex you can slack off a little bit... but not this girl and not this soon. You didn't tie things down. That gave her the opening she needed to flake on you. Her interest level is low my friend. Move on.

 

[Fireballs]

she thinks you’re a pvssy for not fuking her

 

[bsyde82]

Your mistake was assuming that because you did things right in the past, you get the luxury of slacking off. Maybe if she was the girlfriend or you had sex you can slack off a little bit... but not this girl and not this soon. You didn't tie things down. That gave her the opening she needed to flake on you. Her interest level is low my friend. Move on.

I see, that makes a lot of sense, thank you.

 

[Dash Riprock]

OP, despite what people are posting here, some girls don't just drop their panties after a few dates. Ironically, the ones worth keeping around won't--FACT. You mini-escalated by kissing her so she knows you see her as more than a buddy. There might be some cultural considerations too if she Asian.

I would give her the benefit of the doubt at this point, as you have no reason not to, and hit her up mid-week. Ask her how she's feeling, and if she says better, tell her (not ask her) that you're doing xyz this weekend (like your plan is already set) and ask if she'd like to join you. If she backs out or makes up an excuse, then it's likely she's lost attraction. At that point I would politely say "ok, take care" and leave it at that. She has your number I assume and can always call you. Then, you move on.

Good luck.

 

[backseatjuan]

If she was tired doing it by herself, she'd shag you, since it didn't happen, assume she's meeting with someone who is willing to escalate and fck on first or second date. What a girl has to do to get laid.

 

[RickTheToad]

There is a reason why there is a 3 date rule. These rules where not created just for the heck of it. No sex by the third date or at least very close, you move on.

 

[Trump]

We hang out Wednesday, it's fine, we casually make plans to see e/o Saturday. Nothing specific, just like hey let's hang out Saturday.

“Hang out” on Saturday? What are you in high school?

She worked Thursday. On Friday afternoon as I was literally texting her to make plans for Sat, she texted me saying she got sick from work and can't hang out this weekend, with no reschedule.

I’ve said it so many times.

Because a girl wants to sleep with you Wednesday,
doesn’t mean she cares you are dead or alive Friday.

A bit more context - she's 10 years younger, but she's not from around here, doesn't have many friends, no family in the area, and very shy. It seems to me like she's pretty relationship-inexperienced. So if it was just a normal chick from the area, I would definitely lean hard towards, she just lost interest suddenly, it happens. But the fact that she's shy, not from around her, relationship-inexperienced (maybe) makes me think, although I realize that could be me just justifying false hopes.

You are THIRTY SIX going out with a TWENTY SIX year old Asian girl, and no sex yet?

WOW.

Thoughts? My intent is to just let it be, and let her contact me, if she does. Although I'd have the nagging feeling that a lot of her actions are due to shyness, the age gap.

Her actions are due to: AGE GAP.

 

[deaderinred]

Thoughts? She found a real man who can lead and escalate properly and who ****er her good like she wanted. She realized you're a ***** and not worth wasting any more time with.