"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Would it bother you if a coworker rejects FB friends request

zinc4

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Recently, i tried to add an attractive female coworker on facebook and she rejected it...i wouldn't care if i didn't have to cross her path every day....because it feels weird saying nothing about it like it never happened.

I only tried to add her to lighten the mood between us because me and her best friend don't get along at all and so now as a result she acts strange but was really friendly before me and her friend clashed......and i have a lot of my coworkers on facebook because they always send me requests and i think little of it adding them.....anyways point is would you even care and bring it up to her or just pretend like it never happened?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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zinc4

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She has one of my buddy coworkers, a married guy, on her list so i doubt that is it. I just have a hard time not at least acknowledging it and saying something about it but at the same time it feels rather petty to do so.
 

plate's_empty

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No, because I'd never send it to her. And, if she sent me one, when I finally logged in after two weeks, and it was still there, I'd reject hers.

A lot of people don't want to mix business and personal sh1t. They don't want all their co-workers passing around pictures of them in a bikini while they're doing a beer bong. Some do though, and they're called AW's.

Either way you lose.

zinc4 said:
it's the first time i have ever sent a co-worker a request....i only did it to try and lighten a mood there because i have to see her every day in a tiny small office...i could actually care less about being her friend or whatever outside of work, i just don't like tension in the workplace which existed before this attempt to dissolve it...if i had it my way i would work alone so i don't have to waste my time dealing with others when i am there for one reason only...to make money
What's the tension coming from? Did you cause it? Did you do something "inappropriate"?
If not, then just don't give a fvck. Either way, I wouldn't try to resolve sh1t. You sent her an innocent friends request, she turned you down. Respect it, no big deal. Go about your day as the self-assured, alpha, indifferent man you are.

zinc4 said:
the thing is i walk past her many times every day and she has to interrupt my classes (i'm a teacher) to take role call as part of her job and now i feel funny even saying hi to her without acknowledging it......if i didn't have to see her repeatedly many times 6 days a week i wouldn't give a sh%t.....

and no i didn't cause any tension...although like i said, me and her best friend are pretty much workplace enemies and everyone knows it...she could be doing it out of loyalty toward her friend because she started acting way different after me and her friend clashed so much...
You're acting like a beta......

Seriously dude, why do you give a fvck??? Smile and give her a wink on the downlow, and when she gives you a disproving look, wink again. Or, Totally ignore her. Either one would be better than acting like a little insecure beta who's workplace harmony relies on whether or not the friend of some girl will pay attention to you and acknowledge you...... and oh hopefully she likes me!!! I hope I didn't do anything wrong!!

The end.

zinc4 said:
Yeah, i guess it would be pointless to bring up the fact that i saw her on facebook and sent her a request...

I think also she may have felt like i ignored her for a while because she would hover around me at times and i would just focus on what i was working on because a lot of times i go to work i get into a tunnel mode of only focusing on myself and what i am doing...
Why do you care what she felt? Hypothetical question for you to digest, don't answer it.
 
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zinc4

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it's the first time i have ever sent a co-worker a request....i only did it to try and lighten a mood there because i have to see her every day in a tiny small office...i could actually care less about being her friend or whatever outside of work, i just don't like tension in the workplace which existed before this attempt to dissolve it...if i had it my way i would work alone so i don't have to waste my time dealing with others when i am there for one reason only...to make money
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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zinc4

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the thing is i walk past her many times every day and she has to interrupt my classes (i'm a teacher) to take role call as part of her job...she even has to hand me my paycheck at the end of every week as part of her job and now i feel funny even saying hi to her or interacting with her without acknowledging it......if i didn't have to see her repeatedly many times 6 days a week i wouldn't give a sh%t.....

she is one of those type people who is awkward feeling to be around in the first place....she doesn't present herself in a relaxed way and my other guy friend co-worker says the same that she just puts off a weird uncomfortable vibe in the first place and that he would like to punch her in the face at times when she comes into his classroom because she is so weird acting......and that is a lot coming from him because he is a social animal and gets along with everyone...

and no i didn't cause any tension...although like i said, me and her best friend are pretty much workplace enemies and everyone knows it...she could be doing it out of loyalty toward her friend because she started acting way different after me and her friend clashed so much...although she was weird acting in the first place......i just like to be on friendly terms with people i work with to make work more comfortable since i have to be there so much......her friend is the only other person i don't get along with and that is only because she is a physcho who i had to put in her place numerous times after she tried to walk over me...
 

Viral

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Women hold grudges for god knows what.

Talk to her normally.
To make things normal just assume that they are (even if they aren't). Lead the interactions with that mentality and it will go fine after awhile.
 

zinc4

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Yeah, i guess it would be pointless to bring up the fact that i saw her on facebook and sent her a request...

I think also she may have felt like i ignored her for a while because she would hover around me at times and i would just focus on what i was working on because a lot of times i go to work i get into a tunnel mode of only focusing on myself and what i am doing...
 

gravityeyelids

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Who cares? Why are you letting it bother you?

Don't ask her about it, don't analyze it, it's not even worth the effort.

Delete your damn facebook, it's a ****ing waste of time, use your phone or *gasp* interact in person if you want to communicate with people.

Not hating on you, i just want to rant. I hate when people say "ohh i just use it to stay in contact with people that live far away blahblahblah" No. If you can't take the time out your day to call them then you obviously dont care enough about them to claim you need to stay in contact with em via FB.

In addition, it usually only causes problems for you as far as women go.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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