worry about what others think

[david90]

Right now, i'm pretty comforable with rejections from chicks but in certain situation I still can't approach b/c I feel that others are watching me. People do stare and watch me when I approach btw. It is not one of those it's all in your head thing. For example, I was chating up a girl and this guy who was in the area overhearing the convo smirked at me. wtf.

Fearing judgement from others is just like my fear of rejection so I know I can overcome. Help.

 

[saki]

im no dj master by any stretch of imagination but imo, let em listen, stare, or even **** block, it shouldnt affect your game. its just you and the target, forget your surroundings : )

 

[Alpine]

Approval from others is bad news for most of the things you try to achieve in life. Otherwise you don't live your life, you live others.

It's linked to shame which is useful to hold societies together, but not helping in this case.

I suspect your self esteem is a bit below par as well. I think you are also mindreading people and putting negatives conatations on them.

For instance, that guy's smirk and listening. He could have been thinking, bloody hell that guy's a real smoothie, I wish I could be like him, I'll listen to how he does it.

Turn it completely around, assume all the people who are watching think this way. For sure some won't, but this would be a useful false belief.

I play with these little tricks and treat then as personal experiments, some work for me some don't.

I believe the real game is between your ears. Get that sorted and there are plenty HB8+ out there for you.

 

[saki]

Originally posted by Alpine
Approval from others is bad news for most of the things you try to achieve in life. Otherwise you don't live your life, you live others.

It's linked to shame which is useful to hold societies together, but not helping in this case.

I suspect your self esteem is a bit below par as well. I think you are also mindreading people and putting negatives conatations on them.

For instance, that guy's smirk and listening. He could have been thinking, bloody hell that guy's a real smoothie, I wish I could be like him, I'll listen to how he does it.

Turn it completely around, assume all the people who are watching think this way. For sure some won't, but this would be a useful false belief.

I play with these little tricks and treat then as personal experiments, some work for me some don't.

I believe the real game is between your ears. Get that sorted and there are plenty HB8+ out there for you.

good advise man, i like how you say turn it into a positive scenario!

 

[evolvingnerd]

@ david
i know i definitley watch when other people are trying to PU
but i listen and look on in admiration

once, i actually started feeling like i was part of the convo, and then cracked up at the guy's comments

the smirk was most likely one of jealously and or admiration
cause that's what i usually feel

keep it up mate, u got the hard part under control

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by david90
Right now, i'm pretty comforable with rejections from chicks but in certain situation I still can't approach b/c I feel that others are watching me. People do stare and watch me when I approach btw. It is not one of those it's all in your head thing. For example, I was chating up a girl and this guy who was in the area overhearing the convo smirked at me. wtf.

Fearing judgement from others is just like my fear of rejection so I know I can overcome. Help.

In life there are those who accept judgement and those who pass it.

It keeps the social order in line.

People try to judge you all the time. That you can't stop. What you CAN control is whether or not you choose to accept their judgement.

Take advice from others, yes. Feedback, yes. Judgement is reserved for God.