Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Work colleague issue

drellum

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I have a female colleague that over the years I have become friendly with.

I have confided and asked advice from her over the last 6 months regarding a BU and then dates/girls in my life. She has been a great source of good advice and given me some great insight, especially regarding a girl I have been seeing quite a bit lately - which now looks like there is a possibility of something a bit more serious and permanent.

The other day she asked if she could speak to me.
She proceeded to tell me how unhappy she was in her current LTR and lot's of personal details etc.

Am I a shoulder to cry on or is there more to it? I have always felt that she liked me more than just a friend.

Opinions??
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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P

perseverance

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I would say you are the shoulder to cry on. A friend to comfort her and tell her what she wants to hear.

A lot of people are unhappy in their relationships, but very few people end that relationship and walk away. She'll remain with this fella while she uses you as an emotional tampon.
 

drellum

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perseverance said:
She'll remain with this fella while she uses you as an emotional tampon.
I don't mind to be honest. She did mention breaking it and didn't want to be the reason why this would happen
 

LittleBigOne

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Actions speak louder then words. She Says she want´s to break up with this guy but she doesn´t do it...and she won´t.
Try to take distance of your love feelings which you are starting to develop now for her. Take a good look: Is she the one who is trying to get your attention? Doe she flirt with you?
Are you fun when she is around? Do you flirt with her? Are you seeing other woman in the meanwhile?
Act more attractive and keep you expectation low by just having fun with her because you are gonna be dissapointed and bitter when she stays with him.
 

cstrife32

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Well if you ask her for advice on girls, it's only natural that she's gonna come to you for boy problems (tit for tat). If you're attracted to this girl, not putting you down, but you probably have extremely slim chances. She's in a relationship and she's given you advice on girls; I'm sure she thinks that confident guys don't need advice from her on girls. So as a result she doesn't think you're confident. You can try and balance it out with conversation, kino, and spinning plates, but don't feel pressured. Best case scenario she gives you some action to spite her boyfriend, I think.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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drellum

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Simple fact is, I needed some advice on a few things and agreed, I was lacking some confidence after years of inactivity - dating. After a while I got back in the game with quite a bit of success.

Let me clarify something here. My colleague is purely a friend...I am not looking for action because she is in a relationship.

I was concerned that she might be harboring underlying feelings for me.
 

SgtSplacker

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A man asking a girl for relationship advice is grounds for immediate friend zoning. The exposure she has to your life needs to be somewhat limited if you are to fit into the "ideal man" she has imagined is worthy of her poon.
 
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