"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Work colleague issue

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drellum

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I have a female colleague that over the years I have become friendly with.

I have confided and asked advice from her over the last 6 months regarding a BU and then dates/girls in my life. She has been a great source of good advice and given me some great insight, especially regarding a girl I have been seeing quite a bit lately - which now looks like there is a possibility of something a bit more serious and permanent.

The other day she asked if she could speak to me.
She proceeded to tell me how unhappy she was in her current LTR and lot's of personal details etc.

Am I a shoulder to cry on or is there more to it? I have always felt that she liked me more than just a friend.

Opinions??
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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P

perseverance

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I would say you are the shoulder to cry on. A friend to comfort her and tell her what she wants to hear.

A lot of people are unhappy in their relationships, but very few people end that relationship and walk away. She'll remain with this fella while she uses you as an emotional tampon.
 
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drellum

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perseverance said:
She'll remain with this fella while she uses you as an emotional tampon.
Click to expand...
I don't mind to be honest. She did mention breaking it and didn't want to be the reason why this would happen
 
L

LittleBigOne

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Actions speak louder then words. She Says she want´s to break up with this guy but she doesn´t do it...and she won´t.
Try to take distance of your love feelings which you are starting to develop now for her. Take a good look: Is she the one who is trying to get your attention? Doe she flirt with you?
Are you fun when she is around? Do you flirt with her? Are you seeing other woman in the meanwhile?
Act more attractive and keep you expectation low by just having fun with her because you are gonna be dissapointed and bitter when she stays with him.
 
C

cstrife32

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Well if you ask her for advice on girls, it's only natural that she's gonna come to you for boy problems (tit for tat). If you're attracted to this girl, not putting you down, but you probably have extremely slim chances. She's in a relationship and she's given you advice on girls; I'm sure she thinks that confident guys don't need advice from her on girls. So as a result she doesn't think you're confident. You can try and balance it out with conversation, kino, and spinning plates, but don't feel pressured. Best case scenario she gives you some action to spite her boyfriend, I think.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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D

drellum

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Simple fact is, I needed some advice on a few things and agreed, I was lacking some confidence after years of inactivity - dating. After a while I got back in the game with quite a bit of success.

Let me clarify something here. My colleague is purely a friend...I am not looking for action because she is in a relationship.

I was concerned that she might be harboring underlying feelings for me.
 
SgtSplacker

SgtSplacker

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A man asking a girl for relationship advice is grounds for immediate friend zoning. The exposure she has to your life needs to be somewhat limited if you are to fit into the "ideal man" she has imagined is worthy of her poon.
 
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