"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Work colleague issue

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drellum

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I have a female colleague that over the years I have become friendly with.

I have confided and asked advice from her over the last 6 months regarding a BU and then dates/girls in my life. She has been a great source of good advice and given me some great insight, especially regarding a girl I have been seeing quite a bit lately - which now looks like there is a possibility of something a bit more serious and permanent.

The other day she asked if she could speak to me.
She proceeded to tell me how unhappy she was in her current LTR and lot's of personal details etc.

Am I a shoulder to cry on or is there more to it? I have always felt that she liked me more than just a friend.

Opinions??
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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P

perseverance

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I would say you are the shoulder to cry on. A friend to comfort her and tell her what she wants to hear.

A lot of people are unhappy in their relationships, but very few people end that relationship and walk away. She'll remain with this fella while she uses you as an emotional tampon.
 
D

drellum

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perseverance said:
She'll remain with this fella while she uses you as an emotional tampon.
Click to expand...
I don't mind to be honest. She did mention breaking it and didn't want to be the reason why this would happen
 
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LittleBigOne

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Actions speak louder then words. She Says she want´s to break up with this guy but she doesn´t do it...and she won´t.
Try to take distance of your love feelings which you are starting to develop now for her. Take a good look: Is she the one who is trying to get your attention? Doe she flirt with you?
Are you fun when she is around? Do you flirt with her? Are you seeing other woman in the meanwhile?
Act more attractive and keep you expectation low by just having fun with her because you are gonna be dissapointed and bitter when she stays with him.
 
C

cstrife32

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Well if you ask her for advice on girls, it's only natural that she's gonna come to you for boy problems (tit for tat). If you're attracted to this girl, not putting you down, but you probably have extremely slim chances. She's in a relationship and she's given you advice on girls; I'm sure she thinks that confident guys don't need advice from her on girls. So as a result she doesn't think you're confident. You can try and balance it out with conversation, kino, and spinning plates, but don't feel pressured. Best case scenario she gives you some action to spite her boyfriend, I think.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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drellum

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Simple fact is, I needed some advice on a few things and agreed, I was lacking some confidence after years of inactivity - dating. After a while I got back in the game with quite a bit of success.

Let me clarify something here. My colleague is purely a friend...I am not looking for action because she is in a relationship.

I was concerned that she might be harboring underlying feelings for me.
 
SgtSplacker

SgtSplacker

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A man asking a girl for relationship advice is grounds for immediate friend zoning. The exposure she has to your life needs to be somewhat limited if you are to fit into the "ideal man" she has imagined is worthy of her poon.
 
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