Words from a guy with a younger wife

[2Rocky]

So I have a 64 year old friend. Pretty charming, intelligent, fun guy to be around, but has declined in his attractiveness, and had some health scares. Just got divorced for the 4th time.

Honest to God he was married to a woman 20 years younger than him for 16 years or more....And he said some words that I think us as older guys need to take into account when it comes to LTR's with women that are that much younger than us....

"I was a big deal when I was 40 and she was 20. Now that she's 40...I'm not such a big deal anymore."

I think it all comes to being in different phases of our life from the women we are with.

 

[RickTheToad]

Still got divorced for the 4th time. Was it worth it?

 

[HoneyHitter]

"I was a big deal when I was 40 and she was 20. Now that she's 40...I'm not such a big deal anymore."

Neither is she.

 

[2Rocky]

Still got divorced for the 4th time. Was it worth it?

He had two sons with her and he is a good dad. I figure he is used to the relationship drama. his choice..

 

[BeExcellent]

This is why marrying a partner close to you in age is advisable. You transition through life’s changes together as true partners, rather than one person feeling like they have to put life on hold for the other. This guy obviously does not like being alone (or he wouldn’t continue getting married).

If she is still hot and fit etc., and married him while young she still has looks and low mileage. She will easily find someone around her own age.

I do not care if a guy marries a much younger woman. But if she is 20 years younger you need to realize that as you become elderly she is still in her prime relative to you. Expecting her to change your diaper or deal with the cancer scares etc. is a tall order. People who are devoted will do it. But if you are unpleasant or demanding? You create a resentment in the relationship. People seek to get away from resentment. And if a 44 year old good looking woman is out on the market? She has options, trust me. Relative to his options which are fading.

He will likely settle in with a woman close to his own age now. Why? Because he hates being alone and he won’t want the risk of another younger woman pulling up stakes and leaving him in his old age.

Brutal.

 

[Plinco]

This is why marrying a partner close to you in age is advisable.

This is not good advice for everybody. Everybody has different values for different reasons.

You transition through life’s changes together as true partners, rather than one person feeling like they have to put life on hold for the other.

As if you have no control over your life? Nature determines who you are as being self-invented means nothing? I'm not buying that. An adult determines his own phases, until the body falls apart and it's all over anyway.

 

[Plinco]

So I have a 64 year old friend. Pretty charming, intelligent, fun guy to be around, but has declined in his attractiveness, and had some health scares. Just got divorced for the 4th time.

Honest to God he was married to a woman 20 years younger than him for 16 years or more....And he said some words that I think us as older guys need to take into account when it comes to LTR's with women that are that much younger than us....

"I was a big deal when I was 40 and she was 20. Now that she's 40...I'm not such a big deal anymore."

I think it all comes to being in different phases of our life from the women we are with.


View attachment 7327

Make your own phases in life. A man is not determined by outside influences.

 

[BeExcellent]

This is not good advice for everybody. Everybody has different values for different reasons.



As if you have no control over your life? Nature determines who you are as being self-invented means nothing? I'm not buying that. An adult determines his own phases, until the body falls apart and it's all over anyway.

None of us has control over aging and time. Yes you can keep in shape and take good care of yourself. But control time itself? Nope.

 

[Plinco]

None of us has control over aging and time. Yes you can keep in shape and take good care of yourself. But control time itself? Nope.

Man's nature is to control nature. That's why we have this wonderful civilization today. Doing the right things can slow down the aging process. And even when aging does occur, so what. Aging does not have to change who you are.

There are research laboratories that are working on the aging problem. A cure to aging is not out of the question.

 

[HoneyHitter]

This is why marrying a partner close to you in age is advisable. You transition through life’s changes together as true partners, rather than one person feeling like they have to put life on hold for the other. This guy obviously does not like being alone (or he wouldn’t continue getting married).

If she is still hot and fit etc., and married him while young she still has looks and low mileage. She will easily find someone around her own age.

I do not care if a guy marries a much younger woman. But if she is 20 years younger you need to realize that as you become elderly she is still in her prime relative to you. Expecting her to change your diaper or deal with the cancer scares etc. is a tall order. People who are devoted will do it. But if you are unpleasant or demanding? You create a resentment in the relationship. People seek to get away from resentment. And if a 44 year old good looking woman is out on the market? She has options, trust me. Relative to his options which are fading.

He will likely settle in with a woman close to his own age now. Why? Because he hates being alone and he won’t want the risk of another younger woman pulling up stakes and leaving him in his old age.

Brutal.

"Old age is not enough to qualify as a wise man"

"Nestor" game checklist:
[ ] good health and habits
[ ] solid finances (assets, investments and reserves)
[ ] qualified expert in your field(s) of work
[ ] effective communication skills
[ ] a network of (successful) protégé
[ ] business partners and companies you worked for occasionally reach out to you, even after retirement

At 60, how many of these can you check? If anything less than four, I suggest you stick to BeExcellent's advice.

 

[rjc149]

BeExcellent is simply stating unwanted truths that red pillers do not want to hear.

1. Women do not hit the wall any earlier or harder than all but the top 5% of men do, and when they do, they usually still have plenty of dating options. Most middle-aged women who are still attractive have already done the marriage and kids thing, and don’t need to lock you down anymore.

2. Very few attractive women are willing to be submissive, devoted housewives to much older husbands who aren’t top 5% in wealth and status.

 

[Plinco]

"Old age is not enough to qualify as a wise man"

"Nestor" game checklist:
[ ] good health and habits
[ ] solid finances (assets, investments and reserves)
[ ] qualified expert in your field(s) of work
[ ] effective communication skills
[ ] a network of (successful) protégé
[ ] business partners and companies you worked for occasionally reach out to you, even after retirement

At 60, how many of these can you check? If anything less than four, I suggest you stick to BeExcellent's advice.

Why? There's a lot of things you can do besides having a good income. You don't have to lower your standards, this is your life we are talking about. As long as your are willing to accept the responsiblity

 

[Plinco]

BeExcellent is simply stating unwanted truths that red pillers do not want to hear.

1. Women do not hit the wall any earlier or harder than all but the top 5% of men do, and when they do, they usually still have plenty of dating options. Most middle-aged women who are still attractive have already done the marriage and kids thing, and don’t need to lock you down anymore.

2. Very few attractive women are willing to be submissive, devoted housewives to much older husbands who aren’t top 5% in wealth and status.

A man's peak does not correlate with age as much as it does with a woman.

BeExcellent is advocating that a man ought to submit himself to nature. She's omitting that man has the ability to control nature.

 

[jaymbrs]

That's why you settle down with someone your own age. And have something on the side.

 

[rjc149]

A man's peak does not correlate with age as much as it does with a woman.

BeExcellent is advocating that a man ought to submit himself to nature. She's omitting that man has the ability to control nature.

That’s because male SMV incorporates factors other than looks, but that doesn’t mean a man’s age and looks have no negative bearing on his SMV. They do. Old men are old men. Regardless of their wealth and status, 95% of high SMV women aren’t sexually attracted to them. That’s a stupid Rollo Tomassian red pill myth. They may choose wealthy older men as providers, but never as lovers. Peak SMV for men, assuming he’s handsome, in shape, and wealthy is late 30’s at the latest. It does not go up after that. It may plateau, it may decline less rapidly, but it does not go up after 40.

Men need to age and die with grace and dignity. Vain men clinging to youth are feminine and repulsive. Attractive older men accept that they’re older, they own it. They face decline and mortality like fvcking men. They don’t fight it.

 

[Plinco]

That’s because male SMV incorporates factors other than looks, but that doesn’t mean a man’s age and looks have no negative bearing on his SMV. They do. Old men are old men. Regardless of their wealth and status, 95% of high SMV women aren’t sexually attracted to them. That’s a stupid Rollo Tomassian red pill myth. They may choose wealthy older men as providers, but never as lovers. Peak SMV for men, assuming he’s handsome, in shape, and wealthy is late 30’s at the latest. It does not go up after that. It may plateau, it may decline less rapidly, but it does not go up after 40.

Men need to age and die with grace and dignity. Vain men clinging to youth are feminine and repulsive. Attractive older men accept that they’re older, they own it. They face decline and mortality like fvcking men. They don’t fight it.

Controlling nature (first by understanding nature), and to fight what is killing you are masculine traits. Being controlled by nature is a feminine trait.

 

[rjc149]

Controlling nature (first by understanding nature), and to fight what is killing you are masculine traits. Being controlled by nature is a feminine trait.

What exactly do you mean by “controlling nature?”

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Another anecdote of the transforming interests of women, I'll wait with baited breath for the next...

Jokes aside, marriage is a fools errand at any age, at any time, any gap between age, anything inbetween, they are just putting their 10 years in for Alimony

 

[Plinco]

What exactly do you mean by “controlling nature?”

That's an abstract way of saying controlling yourself and your environment. Examples: controlling irrational women, children, animals, the flow of water, putting buildings and houses together, curing diseases, circumnavigating the globe, going to the Moon, going to Mars, mining an asteroid, traveling to other star systems, curing aging, curing cancer, creating gravity machines, generating cold fusion, and so on.

 

[ubercat]

5 - 7 years younger - recommended. 10 years is ok. Past that you d better be that buffed millionaire or Mr popular. And yes I ve been there several times.