"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Caldus

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I sit with two of my friends in this one class. I sit next to this hot chick. Problem is it's hard to meet the hot girls in that class since I'm with two of my friends. Not sure how to start talking to her while my friends are around and stuff. Sounds stupid I know. I mean I don't even know the girl yet but I want to see how things would turn out you know? I don't know what it is but I just can't talk to women if I'm with my friends in class. Anyone else in this type of situation?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Thundercat

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Use your friends to your advantage. You have a built-in support group in this situation. And if your friends give you a hard time about trying to mack on a girl, then they aren't really very good friends.

Break the ice by asking her something about the class and then talk to her. Once you get to know her, invite her to a party or out for a drink after class or something. Just tell your friends you'll catch up later.

Thundercat
 

Caldus

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I have no problem approaching a girl by myself but if I'm with friends then it makes it a lot more difficult. I don't know why. An irrational fear I suppose. I guess I'll just try to spark some conversation with her at some point and see how it goes from there.
 

Thundercat

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Approaching women when friends are around can be problematic because you want to stay in the comfort zone you have with your friends as opposed to meeting women. But sometimes you just gotta leave them behind and go for it. They'll understand. =)

Thundercat
 

Caldus

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Oh well, there are tons of cute chicks in my other classes. Definitely going to try with this one girl at some point. Just trying to think of a good way to approach her. In the past I always just caught the girl after class and introduced myself but I want it to look natural if that makes any sense. In other words I don't want to make it seem like I'm desperate (I was desperate last semester but not this one).
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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