Originally posted by SM:
That was not the definition of rape I was referring to. There is a difference between sexual assault or harassment and RAPE. There ARE guys who admitted they had or would "FORCE a woman to have sex" but wouldn't consider themselves "rapists".
Fair enough, my points on campus rape surveys were true, but irrelevant.
Originally posted by SM:
OK, now we're talking strictly about who has what parts and what goes where? It's not a matter of if you have an "innie" or an "outie"... It's about respect, it's about intentions, it's about honesty, it's about safety. I don't do anything with ill intentions, that is dishonest or hurtful, that is unsafe. I have respect for myself and I respect my sexual urges. I don't have regrets, I don't feel shame, and I don't simply "get ****ed"
I made a slight error in my original post. I said:
When it's casual or very short term, they are letting themselves get f*cked, plain and simple. And that's the difference between men who sleep around and do the f*cking, and women who sleep around and let themselves get f*cked.
What I
meant was it's the difference between
males who sleep around and do the f*cking, and
females who sleep around and let themselves get f*cked.
It's important to make that distinction, because I'm not just talking about men f*cking women. This isn't a hate-women diatribe. Males can be men or women, females can be men or women. The point isn't about who has the c*ck and who has the p*ssy, because men have an 'innie'
too. It's about dominator/dominated, penetrator/penetrated. A butch lesbian penetrates her female partner with dildoes, fingers etc. A gay male penetrates his 'female' man partner's backside with his c*ck. A man penetrates a woman with his c*ck or finger. A 'male' woman penetrates her 'female' man's backside with her finger or dildo or whatever.
Originally posted by SM:
... When are you guys going to stop thinking about sex as something that you DO to someone or that is DONE to someone? It's something you do WITH someone.
This isn't about the biology, it's about the position someone is willing or forced to take with someone they have no intimacy with. This is why straight men in prison f*ck other men. This is why they have 'b*tches'. It's a domination and a degradation to be penetrated by someone you hardly know. A male man would fight tooth and nail to prevent himself being penetrated by another male, a stranger male, because it is such an invasion, and a domination of his entire being. This is male thought, the 'penetrator's' thought, and I assume is very similar to the majority of women's views around rape.
This is why people do NOT f*ck together. Two people can make love together, or have sex with each other, in a relationship based on intimacy, trust, honesty and mutual acceptance. That's the most satisfying and healthy kind of sexual relationship there is. You can play, take turns to be male or female, or whatever, depending on how much variety you enjoy. And you can f*ck too - enjoying the submission and domination dynamic in the safety of knowing you both respect and care for each other. Why do so many people like being dirty-talked to during sex? It's exciting, and feeds directly into the feelings of f*cking or being f*cked by someone. That slight degradation, that feeling of dominating or being dominated verbally, is a turn on. People like to play with those dominating/submitting feelings and experiences.
That kind of relationship is completely different to the f*cking that happens when two people who are not committed to each other and have no shared intimacy get into bed together. It is only ever f*cking, and in order for f*cking to happen, someone is getting f*cked.
Any person, man or woman, who regularly submits, either willingly or through coercion, to being f*cked by people without any true intimacy, automatically loses the respect of the people who are f*cking them and the people who know about it. They are physically and sexually subordinate, and in the case of an 'easy' woman or man, they've willingly put themselves in that position time and again. How debasing!
Imagine a gay man who slept around but was only ever the 'receiver'. What a p*ssy!! Disdain and contempt. And when it's a woman sleeping around with lots of men, the first thought is 'Stupid b*tch doesn't even know she's getting f*cked'. Disdain and contempt. And make no mistake, she
is getting f*cked, because a woman cannot f*ck a man with her p*ssy. The closest she can get to it is being on top, and f*cking
herself with his c*ck. A woman who has slept with a lot of men has been regularly f*cked in every sense of the word, and the worst thing is she when she doesn't even know it. If she knows it's not making love, she may tell herself she's f*cking him as much as he's f*cking her. And it simply isn't true. That's the naivety and innocence I was talking about. She thinks she was f*cking
with them, but each of those guys were just plain f*cking her.
