Hello, all. I've been a long time reader of the boards. Enjoy everyone's stuff on here.
Despite this, I still found myself on the deep end last year with a BPD (we had dated a year before things went sideways last year and she turned extremely cold) (she was warm the first 10 months of our relationship). Took me a few months to fully get over her. Took a few months off from dating after her.
Point aside, I downloaded Tinder the other day. I saw my ex on there. She had changed her hair since I last saw her last year, but the one thing I noticed about her picture was how "dead" and emotionless her eyes were. In hindsight, all of her pictures were like that.
She acted like a great girlfriend the first 10 months. Everything I could've asked for. I had never seen a woman turn so cold though towards the end. Made me return to these boards and read up on material about possible BPDs, etc. I forced myself to focus on myself as well more than I had been.
The thing is, as I was swiping through Tinder. She wasn't the only one with "dead eyes" in her pictures. There were numerous women with these emotionless gazes. What would you equate to this? Previous abuse? My ex had no father figure growing up. Her Dad had left her and her biological Mom at a very early age.
I also know it's just Tinder and there's mainly just leftover women on there. I did schedule a date with a woman from there for Saturday. My expectations are just about zero for it, but I'm going to go into it relaxed and confident. I looked through her pictures, however, and her eyes aren't "dead". They appear to be more lively.
I'm not going to rely on just online apps since real life is always king, but is this a silly litmus test in the future to run? I don't think I'm ever going to meet up with a woman that has these emotionless eyes ever again. Of course it's just one red flag (imo), but it's something I'm taking into account now.
Thoughts?
Despite this, I still found myself on the deep end last year with a BPD (we had dated a year before things went sideways last year and she turned extremely cold) (she was warm the first 10 months of our relationship). Took me a few months to fully get over her. Took a few months off from dating after her.
Point aside, I downloaded Tinder the other day. I saw my ex on there. She had changed her hair since I last saw her last year, but the one thing I noticed about her picture was how "dead" and emotionless her eyes were. In hindsight, all of her pictures were like that.
She acted like a great girlfriend the first 10 months. Everything I could've asked for. I had never seen a woman turn so cold though towards the end. Made me return to these boards and read up on material about possible BPDs, etc. I forced myself to focus on myself as well more than I had been.
The thing is, as I was swiping through Tinder. She wasn't the only one with "dead eyes" in her pictures. There were numerous women with these emotionless gazes. What would you equate to this? Previous abuse? My ex had no father figure growing up. Her Dad had left her and her biological Mom at a very early age.
I also know it's just Tinder and there's mainly just leftover women on there. I did schedule a date with a woman from there for Saturday. My expectations are just about zero for it, but I'm going to go into it relaxed and confident. I looked through her pictures, however, and her eyes aren't "dead". They appear to be more lively.
I'm not going to rely on just online apps since real life is always king, but is this a silly litmus test in the future to run? I don't think I'm ever going to meet up with a woman that has these emotionless eyes ever again. Of course it's just one red flag (imo), but it's something I'm taking into account now.
Thoughts?
