"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Women who were molested

bigneil

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In all my years I've (thankfully) never had a frigid woman before. Every girl I've been with has liked me more after sex. But my latest girlfriend has serious issues with it. She'll be extremely romantic, and she'll let me touch every part of her, but once sex happens she clearly has issues. It makes me feel as if I abused her, even though she allows it. It's heartbreaking because she's so attractive.

I think it's beyond repair but wondered if many others have dealt with such women. She says she was molested at age 6 (she's 36) and I'm thinking (but not saying) "get over it". She also has a bisexual girlfriend.

When a girl tells you they are damaged goods and need to see a shrink, believe them.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

GameOfNoGame

Don Juan
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I'm not a judgemental person so as much as I would like to tell you that bad things happen so don't let her past effect your present, I've never met a girl who had something traumatic happen to them & was really alright inside.

The irony is that men have a reputation for repressing our emotions while women express them but I find women internalize things much more often. I'm not saying she's beyond hope but she has to want & work towards healing.

She said she needs therapy but is she actually seeking help or just using her trauma as an excuse for her problems? It's not something she can do alone but it's not your responsibility either. This might be something to discuss with her.
 

cablecow15

Master Don Juan
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it bothers me that this is as common as it is , Ive met two girls that had had that happen , one was clearly bothered , and was against doing certain sex acts because of it (a big problem for me) and one that almost seemed as if she brought it up to casually , almost like she made it up for attention. Ifeel horrible saying this , but i usually try to avoid them if i can help it.
 

JustWuzzle

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My ex wife and girlfriend were molested and my ex wife was also physically abused. She didn't want me to get to agressive with her giving my oral sex which sucked pun intended. My ex gf was ocd and weird about me leaving her or dropping her off. The new girl I'm with seems to have no problems I wanted to ask her cause that is a major red flag she is a freak though I'm texting her now. I would say stay away from women who have been molested. They find the stupidest reasons to hate stuff. If they don't get major counseling they could make your life miserable.
 

P­ornography

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Guys don't take this the wrong way, I'm not trolling but my own mother was molested, by her grandfather (whom I've never met).

Not that I keep track of her sexual life or anything but I can say she's a pretty stable human being, FWIW. As stable as a woman can get....she's got attrocious time-managing skills though, not sure if that's a 'symptom' or anything but other than that she's a well rounded, caring person.

I'd always thought things like this would tip a woman to the extremes of sexuality, either being crazy promiscuous or extremely closed off, but my mother has had a stable relationship with my father for about 20 years, still married. Still she admits to me she needs 'help' whatever that means, her and my father, they both see therapists and and do the Alcohoics Annonymous bit, teh whole 9 yards.


She's never told me herself though, my father sat me down when I was younger and explained this to me, personally I feel it was a pretty disgusting thing to do and he had no right disclosing info like that to me my own mother wouldn't disclose to me herself, FVCK THAT GUY. Sorry. I hate dads. Haha.


TL;DR

It's a red flag but it's not a definite sign they're wackjobs. (all women are wackjobs)
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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