Tdawg
Don Juan
What women say they want vs. what they really desire is two totally different things.
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Women who say they want guys to show emotions
- Thread starter Medina
- Start date
When a woman says this she means she wants to see the man express emotions she's comfortable with and that are validating to her. Since most male emotions don't strictly adhere to this formula they are repressed to avoid conflict. So you can bet your sweet ass this request is a trap because the typical female has no frigging clue about the emotions the usual male keeps entirely to themselves, nor would they care to.
flowtheory
Master Don Juan
I believe it’s emotions as in... a man opening up in what challenges and successes he’s experiencing.
Women want to join a man on his ride in life. Vicariously indulging his experience; like a movie.
They look to men for exhilaration, joy, abundant love. If a man never talks about his ambitions, obstacles, and ideas about life, she feels like she is cut off from an intimate part of him. His emotions towards the world and self.
She wants to experience emotions through us.
They don’t want us to become wet blankets of emotions that she has to deal with. Crying at her feet saying how much she means to us. There’s a difference.
This is why women love men who are passionate about their life, who have zest.. they want to be around those emotions which are in a man.
Women want to join a man on his ride in life. Vicariously indulging his experience; like a movie.
They look to men for exhilaration, joy, abundant love. If a man never talks about his ambitions, obstacles, and ideas about life, she feels like she is cut off from an intimate part of him. His emotions towards the world and self.
She wants to experience emotions through us.
They don’t want us to become wet blankets of emotions that she has to deal with. Crying at her feet saying how much she means to us. There’s a difference.
This is why women love men who are passionate about their life, who have zest.. they want to be around those emotions which are in a man.
I guess I just keep my dreams and desires to myself. No ones going to accomplish them for me, but me. She can share in it, true, but she will also be the first to laugh at you if you fail.
Epic Days
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Kotaix
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Women who complain about men not showing emotion... Let's just leave it at that. They're complaining, it's what women do.
Men are meant to be stoic. A rock that will weather all her emotional storms, and all the storms that attempt to break him down too. Your woman did you a favor (rare) and served you a notice on how to be a man and that she's not going to put up with that much longer. If you're just starting to date a woman, this is the kind of attitude that will get you ghosted.
Good stuff right there.
Men are meant to be stoic. A rock that will weather all her emotional storms, and all the storms that attempt to break him down too. Your woman did you a favor (rare) and served you a notice on how to be a man and that she's not going to put up with that much longer. If you're just starting to date a woman, this is the kind of attitude that will get you ghosted.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
How can you fail a reasonable plan? You can be delayed. Why would you have a woman in your business who detracts from you?
2 problems here
woman demanding something, that alone should be ignored
the other is of course they want a men more emotional, how they will get kicks on you guys if you drop then and start to ignore they fat asses? they need you emotional over then
showing vulnerability is only a thing for others to explore, you never show weakness, the moment you do that is a moment someone will abuse it, you are strong and never weak, you do mistakes but are always ready to keep your head high and moving forward.
demanding a men be emotional is a way to force men to be more easily manipulated, stop trying to vomit what you saw in that romantic comedies hollywwod love to make, that never work
That’s exactly why I keep my dreams an aspirations separate from my dating life. No one can motivate and encourage me better than me.
EyeOnThePrize
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She is not your therapist or your mommy. She is there to make you stronger, not coddle you.
flowtheory
Master Don Juan
If she’s never done it quite like that before, I imagine this isn’t the first time you opened up in a manner which may have been misconstrued as complaining or pouty. She could be extrapolating on your overall views when issues come up.
One can’t not open up in a relationship. That’s just silly be be a rock or an emotionaless being. It’s more about HOW one communicates what’s going on in their emotional space.
logicallefty
Moderator
Yes I know. I made a mistake, which is why I shared it with the thread.
I have to add to your comment about therapist. Not so long ago this site made a pretty good therapist for a man. We could express things here and get genuine honest feedback from other men. Nowadays it just seems like the dynamic here has changed. People are already to pounce all over a guy for posting about his problems on here, just like my girlfriend did to me.
Dash Riprock
Master Don Juan
This is a slippery slope. I can see the point @sazc is making, but generally speaking, I think it's a bad idea, especially early on in a relationship maybe up to a year. I'm basing this on decades of dating and many women's reactions to things I've done, good and bad.
Certainly, NAWALT, but, let's say 80% are. I would say the women that do want and desire a more emotive man, are probably more masculine themselves and need someone to balance their dominant tendencies. Certainly you've seen the strong, alpha-confident woman with the quiet, demur man. I have on numerous occasions.
At the DNA/evolutionary level, women are attracted to strong, assertive, dominant, and confident men. This I think we can all agree on. Showing a lot or even moderate levels of vulnerability or emotion, well, I just can't see how it helps confirm in her mind you're not a wimp. I know there's a HUGE movement about toxic masculinity and the related behaviors today, but it's gone way off the rails in my opinion.
I think slowly, over time, if you're in a LTR you'll have opportunities to sprinkle in a modicum of vulnerability here and there. But use it like ultra hot Tabasco sauce, maybe a drop or two at a time.
With all due respect to the ladies on SS, one thing I have learned is that what a woman says she wants and what she actually desires at the genetic level are often two different things.
And BTW, even strong, tough Dash will probably cry like a baby when his beloved Doberman dies. So I do have a heart
.
Certainly, NAWALT, but, let's say 80% are. I would say the women that do want and desire a more emotive man, are probably more masculine themselves and need someone to balance their dominant tendencies. Certainly you've seen the strong, alpha-confident woman with the quiet, demur man. I have on numerous occasions.
At the DNA/evolutionary level, women are attracted to strong, assertive, dominant, and confident men. This I think we can all agree on. Showing a lot or even moderate levels of vulnerability or emotion, well, I just can't see how it helps confirm in her mind you're not a wimp. I know there's a HUGE movement about toxic masculinity and the related behaviors today, but it's gone way off the rails in my opinion.
I think slowly, over time, if you're in a LTR you'll have opportunities to sprinkle in a modicum of vulnerability here and there. But use it like ultra hot Tabasco sauce, maybe a drop or two at a time.
With all due respect to the ladies on SS, one thing I have learned is that what a woman says she wants and what she actually desires at the genetic level are often two different things.
And BTW, even strong, tough Dash will probably cry like a baby when his beloved Doberman dies. So I do have a heart
.
more like tough love, remember I did say this before when someone was complaining about some guys telling what they felt here, I told then doing this sap thing here is preferable over doing so in real life, here you are free from most societal pressure and can vent, you should never do so to others, like I said you showed a hint of weakness, and she started to chew you on it.
curious enough I did remember a quote from a film I saw several years ago, about a captain telling his sailors he don't know waht to do, the old sailor after told him, he is the captain, he always know what to do, and if he don't he better act like he do, everyone in this ship look up to you for guidance, you should never look weak
EyeOnThePrize
Master Don Juan
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I think my feedback is genuine and helpful. You really shouldn't be getting offended or having your feelings hurt by some guys on a forum. I get if you feel insecure, but we're here to bolster each other, not hold hands and cry.
logicallefty
Moderator
Yep still better to let the hyenas here eat a guy vs some woman or therapist. As for Tough love Its the perfect thing to apply for a guy who gets one itus or a guy who is letting some woman walk all over him. But for some of the other things going on in a guys life, it’s not always the right solution.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
"Women who say they want guys to show emotions"
... is your cue to laugh your ass off!!!
... is your cue to laugh your ass off!!!
Part of masculinity is keeping reins of one's emotions.
Emotions cannot be purged or extinguished within you but it can and must be controlled to excel.
Which is why boys at a young age, in the presence of their masculine father, should they fall off their bicycle, scraped their knees, they would get up immediately ignoring the pain to press on learning and overcoming hardships/adversities, even smiling when doing so for they see pride in their fathers eyes.
But the opposite would happened in the presence of their mother, they would fall and then cry, in the process not learning to get up and tough it out, always weak.
If a man must cry or scream at the world, then do so when no one is around or go to a secluded hill/beach and do it there.
Then come back to society all refreshed and ready to face the world once more, overcoming harsh adventures life throws at him and smiling when he falls knowing he is learning, getting better each time he pick himself up.
Emotions cannot be purged or extinguished within you but it can and must be controlled to excel.
Which is why boys at a young age, in the presence of their masculine father, should they fall off their bicycle, scraped their knees, they would get up immediately ignoring the pain to press on learning and overcoming hardships/adversities, even smiling when doing so for they see pride in their fathers eyes.
But the opposite would happened in the presence of their mother, they would fall and then cry, in the process not learning to get up and tough it out, always weak.
If a man must cry or scream at the world, then do so when no one is around or go to a secluded hill/beach and do it there.
Then come back to society all refreshed and ready to face the world once more, overcoming harsh adventures life throws at him and smiling when he falls knowing he is learning, getting better each time he pick himself up.