Women who don't want anything serious, but don't want to be used either?

[Mindtrust]

What do you guy's make of when women state, they are not looking for anything serious, but they also do not want to be used either? I have came across this on more than one occasion, but never stuck around to find out.

What are these women looking for, this is totally baffling to me?

Or is this a let down because of low IL?

Have any of you guy's came across this one before?

Mindtrust.

 

[joekerr31]

it means they are open to being f*cked as long as you respect them as a person at the same time. they want don't want to be your *** bucket, but they are open to having a mutually rewarding sexual relationship.

it also can mean that they aren't that in to you, but don't have anything else goign for them. so they are cool with having you around, but are pre-emptively setting the rules to leave you at a moments notice should mr. right come along. so aka "will you be my temporary boyfriend?"

with regards to the f*ck buddy scenario this is fine.

if they want more than just f*cking, and want you to be a 'temporary' boyfriend then forget it - she's basically just wants to tell everyoen that she's 'seeing' someone so that it will raise her social status (women are stupid that way).

 

[Mindtrust]

it means they are open to being f*cked as long as you respect them as a person at the same time.

Ahhh i get this.. Why didnt this register with me in the first place!

it also can mean that they aren't that in to you, but don't have anything else goign for them. so they are cool with having you around, but are pre-emptively setting the rules to leave you at a moments notice should mr. right come along. so aka "will you be my temporary boyfriend?"

Excellent stuff.. I think this is the question answered in full. I would not get involved if i thought this was the case all the same though, unless it was in the f*ck buddy scenario. Women can be dogs too eh?

Prime example on how a woman can use a man.

Thanks Joekerr, totally opened my eyes.

Mindtrust.

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

Who cares?

You get what you want. Why do you care after? Its not like a relationship or anything.

 

[Mindtrust]

Who cares?

You get what you want. Why do you care after? Its not like a relationship or anything.

F*ck buddy is fine, but to be strung along by a women does not appeal to me at all.. ie temp boyfriend. DEFFO NO GO.

Mindtrust.

 

[Obsidian]

I'm not real sure what it means, but I think joekker's response is probably incorrect. There are a lot of women like you describe at my school (especially among the Christian girls). Some of them flirt a lot, but they never really date or do anything significant with any guys.

I usually just classify them as prudes or attention wh0res and try to avoid them. The prevalence of these girls at my school among the non-hor female population, tho, makes it hard to avoid them altogether. Really, it's quite disturbing how many of these idiots there are.

I really don't understand the root cause of it, but I suspect feminism. ("I don't need a man. I need to take charge of my life, study hard, and pursue a career" and all that.)


One thing I do know is that most these girls are shooting themselves in the foot by refusing to date. They're wasting away the prime years of their life (which are even more important to women than to men) by not dating. Then, when they eventually decide to get married or w/e, they won't have a clue about how to interact with men. They might be able to snag some chump or even a real man before they lose their good looks, but their feminist tendencies and lack of experience will destabilize their relationships.

As you can tell, I've given this situation a lot of thought.

Or is this a let down because of low IL?

in some cases, probably. But there are a great number of women who will say this to pretty much any man who comes along. Brad Pitt wouldn't be able to get anywhere with most of these chicks.

 

[Mindtrust]

I really don't understand the root cause of it, but I suspect feminism. ("I don't need a man. I need to take charge of my life, study hard, and pursue a career" and all that.)

Interesting, a different outlook. I think that could be the case in many instances aswell. It would sure make alot of sence.

One thing I do know is that most these girls are shooting themselves in the foot by refusing to date.

Thats true. What was puzzling to me though, was that these women came across as If they were willing to give out in someway, but that they were holding back in someway also. So why act in this way if they did not want anything serious or want to be used? This is where I think joekeer's theory comes into play. They might be up for giving out with the f*ck buddy scenario with their respect still intact, or maybe have you until someone better comes along.. ie temp boyfriend.

I think it is possible, women come out with this phrase for alot of reasons.

Confusing to say the least..

Mindtrust.

 

[ScrewIt]

I was with a fwb once in this situation.
The reality was she wanted to test the waters without being tied down (basically being commited to one guy). Without the expectations or arguments that usually arise from committed relationships. Which also may have to do with busy/independent schedules that factor in the lack of commitment.

In a sense it's a casual/open relationship where they get to be with a guy while leaving her options open. However it doesnt mean these types of relationships cant turn long term, there is a lot of potential for these to turn long-term committed relationships.

 

[Wyldfire]

It's like exclusive dating and sex with only each other without any expectations or pressure for the future. As long as you are sleeping with each other you don't sleep with anyone else. If one person decides they want to see other people then they just stop seeing each other and sleeping together and part ways without any drama.

 

[Mindtrust]

In a sense it's a casual/open relationship where they get to be with a guy while leaving her options open.

Pretty much match's Joekeer's theory. This makes me wonder what a woman's reaction would be if she was proposed with this opportunity from a man. Exactly..

However it doesnt mean these types of relationships cant turn long term, there is a lot of potential for these to turn long-term committed relationships.

I dont think i would be hanging around to find out or be getting too involved..

Again, i would go with the F*ck buddy scenario in this case rather than becoming involved.

Mindtrust.

 

[Obsidian]

It's like exclusive dating and sex with only each other without any expectations or pressure for the future. As long as you are sleeping with each other you don't sleep with anyone else. If one person decides they want to see other people then they just stop seeing each other and sleeping together and part ways without any drama.

if that's really what they're thinking, it's pure fantasy

The girls I was referring to definitely aren't dating or sexing anyone, tho. They'll come up with dates for their sorority functions, but that's about it.

 

[Mindtrust]

It's like exclusive dating and sex with only each other without any expectations or pressure for the future. As long as you are sleeping with each other you don't sleep with anyone else. If one person decides they want to see other people then they just stop seeing each other and sleeping together and part ways without any drama.

It's looking more and more likely to me, these women are just wanting someone to spend time with, until someone else comes along.. :nono:

I suppose it would work both ways though..

Mindtrust.

 

[ScrewIt]

It's like exclusive dating and sex with only each other without any expectations or pressure for the future. As long as you are sleeping with each other you don't sleep with anyone else. If one person decides they want to see other people then they just stop seeing each other and sleeping together and part ways without any drama.

yes! thats exactly how it is.

It's looking more and more likely to me, these women are just wanting someone to spend time with, until someone else comes along..

I suppose it would work both ways though..

Yea..the only difference between this and exclusive relationships, is that you give the other person a heads up that they can and will upgrade if someone better comes along, or until they get bored of you. Either of which could take weeks/months/years/ or never...who knows.

 

[Mindtrust]

Yea..the only difference between this and exclusive relationships, is that you give the other person a heads up that they can and will upgrade if someone better comes along, or until they get bored of you. Either of which could take weeks/months/years/ or never...who knows.

I think you could only go into a one of these encounters with no more than a f*ck buddy perspective..

No emotional involvment at all.

Seems to me its a script for a broken heart if anything else..

Im going with joekeer on this one for sure..

For me, this is just a spun out term women use when they want to have casual sex with no hang-ups. But they also want there respect to stay intact to make them feel better about themselves..

And to stop being labelled.

Mindtrust.

 

[Phyzzle]

It means she's already moved from "fvck buddy" to "friends with benefits", and now she wants to move on to "unofficially together".

These are all completely different things . . .

 

[Wyldfire]

It just means they want to be exclusive without dealing with any o the pressures or planning of a future together. Kinda like an exclusive short term relationship...you don't expect to be together forever but you don't want the person to be seeing or sleeping with anyone else while they are involved with you.

 

[Mindtrust]

It means she's already moved from "fvck buddy" to "friends with benefits", and now she wants to move on to "unofficially together".

These are all completely different things . . .

Im not sure I quite follow...

But in my experience when this term has been used with women, its been early on in the dates before any physical contact..

Mindtrust.

 

[Mindtrust]

It just means they want to be exclusive without dealing with any o the pressures or planning of a future together. Kinda like an exclusive short term relationship...you don't expect to be together forever but you don't want the person to be seeing or sleeping with anyone else while they are involved with you.

That to me is a f*ck buddy.

Mindtrust.

 

[ScrewIt]

It just means they want to be exclusive without dealing with any o the pressures or planning of a future together. Kinda like an exclusive short term relationship...you don't expect to be together forever but you don't want the person to be seeing or sleeping with anyone else while they are involved with you.

In many cases there are factors/reasons at play here. Ranging from time commitment, religion, financial stability, family expectations, social status, compability...etc...I mean things like these can keep it from becoming a full-fledged long-term committed relationship.

Sometimes it can be as simple as a fvck-buddy situation. And other times there can be more complicated reasoning behind it.

 

[Phyzzle]

It just means they want to be exclusive without dealing with any of the pressures. . . .

That to me is a f*ck buddy.

Mindtrust.

Nah, a f*ck buddy is not exclusive. Neither is a friend with benefits. When you're unoficially together, that's exclusive. Without being actually together.

So basically, you're always together, you have sex, you don't see anyone else, but "we're NOT boyfriend and girlfriend! I swear it!!"

Some college chick explained this all to me a few months ago. It's a tad loopy . . . :crazy: