Women that want to bring kids on first date.

[Killakittie]

What's your guy's thoughts on this behavior? Had a date with a really cute mixed 7 last night and about 4 hours before we were due to meet i texted her asking if we were still on for tonight. She responds "yes but my daughter will be with me, my sitter flaked." I responded by telling her:

" I'm sure your daughter is a terrific little kid but i have certain rules and morals I go by. I don't believe children should ever go on a date with their parents and especially on the first date. I'm basically a stranger to you, I would never introduce my son to a stranger, and I don't think you should either. I have absolutely no problem waiting until you can get a sitter, I have a son so I know how it is and I can be patient."

She then says she just didn't want to be the one to flake on the first date and she felt bad for the sitter flaking on her. I told her i promise not to hold it against her and i look forward to spending some time with her.

This is a big red flag but i am down to smash on it anyway. What do you guys think about this?

 

[Tictac]

A bit strong with the 'morals' thing. But kudos on standing up for yourself without being an assh*le about it and understanding her situation. Both are rare here.

 

[SkrooU]

What's your guy's thoughts on this behavior? Had a date with a really cute mixed 7 last night and about 4 hours before we were due to meet i texted her asking if we were still on for tonight. She responds "yes but my daughter will be with me, my sitter flaked." I responded by telling her:

" I'm sure your daughter is a terrific little kid but i have certain rules and morals I go by. I don't believe children should ever go on a date with their parents and especially on the first date. I'm basically a stranger to you, I would never introduce my son to a stranger, and I don't think you should either. I have absolutely no problem waiting until you can get a sitter, I have a son so I know how it is and I can be patient."

She then says she just didn't want to be the one to flake on the first date and she felt bad for the sitter flaking on her. I told her i promise not to hold it against her and i look forward to spending some time with her.

This is a big red flag but i am down to smash on it anyway. What do you guys think about this?

If you're the flexible type then work on it with her. But I think what you're really concerned about is her judgement and communication style. I'd be attracted to a woman who said this instead: "I'm really looking forward to our date, but my babysitter flaked. Are you comfortable with me bringing my daughter along and doing something appropriate for kids? If not, then we can reschedule." Instead she was willing to potentially put you and her daughter in an awkward situation for a number of reasons 1) she didn't know how to handle it 2) she wanted out but didn't want you to feel rejected and instead just have to wonder if you did the right thing 3) she could be testing your willingness to handle her hectic life as a single mother 4) She thought it would be perfectly okay to bring her daughter.

I'm sure others here could think of other reasons or rationalize why it's nothing to worry about. If you think she lacks judgement, communication, and responsibility, then be honest with yourself now.

 

[Killakittie]

I understand not wanting to be the one who flaked, but I would rather explain my situation to a guy and let him decide how he wants to take it, then bring my child along.


Is just the fact she was willing to do it a red flag in itself?

 

[SkrooU]

I understand not wanting to be the one who flaked, but I would rather explain my situation to a guy and let him decide how he wants to take it, then bring my child along.


Is just the fact she was willing to do it a red flag in itself?

It's all about your own standards. I think it's easy for people to rationalize things. Your own gut is telling you something; if it weren't then you wouldn't be on here asking people about it. You can rationalize and see what happens or you can seek out someone who doesn't give you these feelings. The temptation to "smash on it anyway" is keeping you in. So if you think that aspect of it makes it all worth it then by all meanas smash on it and wear a rubber and most importantly don't get whipped. Do you want this woman to be your child's mother and place your child in this situation years from now? And don't think for one minute that's not a possibility. How do you think all these other children were born into these situations? Never underestimate the power of pu$$y to make you weak to reason.

 

[Married Buried]

I understand not wanting to be the one who flaked, but I would rather explain my situation to a guy and let him decide how he wants to take it, then bring my child along.


Is just the fact she was willing to do it a red flag in itself?

Yes its a flag the kid has met all her boyfriends. Tons of single moms don't care and even bang with their kid in the next room. I dated at least 2 of them like that.

 

[CMNILS87]

Yes its a flag the kid has met all her boyfriends. Tons of single moms don't care and even bang with their kid in the next room. I dated at least 2 of them like that.

Just another red pill sign that if you give a woman the tingles, there's not much she won't do. I would've been polite and just asked to reschedule and let her give options

 

[LiveFreeX]

Don't do it, don't date single mothers.

How desperate are you people???

 

[Desdinova]

Is just the fact she was willing to do it a red flag in itself?

It possibly shows high interest, or it possibly shows that she wanted you to cancel. Hard call to make.

Try setting up another date and see what happens.

Don't do it, don't date single mothers.

I've never been against dating single moms who have one kid. You just cannot expect them to be good LTR material. It's unlikely that you'll ever end up at the top of her high score list. Date, fvck, but go no further.

 

[The Duke]

I let a girl bring her kid on a date back in my less experienced days. Would I ever do it again.....NO. It wasn't a big deal but its tough to build the connection you need to make with a little rug rat causing distractions. I originally made out with this girl at a bar which is how I met her. Took her on 2 dinner dates, and one date we hung out at her house while her sister sat with us! Her interest in me just wasn't there, all she wanted was a meal ticket and a guy to hang out with. A few weeks later she got back with her baby daddy.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Don't do it, don't date single mothers.

How desperate are you people???

I don't have an issue with single mothers since I hold all women to the same standards. They usually treat you better than childless women. However, they disqualify themselves eventually due to having too much on their plate.

 

[LiveFreeX]

You are running the risk of taking care of her and her kid forever. I've yet to meet a guy who dated single mothers and had it turn out well for him in the end.

 

[marmel75]

What's your guy's thoughts on this behavior? Had a date with a really cute mixed 7 last night and about 4 hours before we were due to meet i texted her asking if we were still on for tonight.

I think it's weird, but I think you texting her to ask if she plans on showing up to a date is simply weak.

 

[parkthebus]

If you're still looking to smash, you should have told her that you'd rather get to know her when you can be yourself and not have to worry about filtering around children. Sounds like she has high IL so say you appreciate that she was making the effort not too flake.

 

[Killakittie]

I think it's weird, but I think you texting her to ask if she plans on showing up to a date is simply weak.

You think so? I only did that because she lives about 30 minutes away and didn't want to waste my time driving there without being sure.

 

[Alvafe]

You think so? I only did that because she lives about 30 minutes away and didn't want to waste my time driving there without being sure.

then you send a msg telling her to tell you when she is ready, or just send, "you ready?"