Women stop having sex, or "sexual desire" for men after they become mother

[jhonny9546]

There's a popular saying that women have great difficulty after having children, or simply no longer have interest in sex, due to hormonal factors, or having to care for the child, or breastfeeding, etc.

So scientifically speaking, it's said that this returns to normal between 6 and 12 months after giving birth.

And yet I've heard from friends, couples, and acquaintances that 3, 5, or 8 years later, sex has never returned to what it was before, and that their wives' or partners' sexual desire is never the same again. (It reminds me of my mother and father's relationship; they haven't had sex, or haven't had it very often, for 20 years, I think, or since the birth of their last child.)

It's as if they've completely changed.

I also realize that my friends are attractive (not all of them, but many of them keep fit or have very good SMV).

So I was wondering, after having children, do women completely lose interest in sex or their sexual desire, their interest in having sex, for their entire lives? Has anything changed forever?

What are your experiences?

 

[The Duke]

I've banged lots of horny single moms. Must be the men they had kids with. I think it's the fact that people get bored and stop working on keeping the flames burning within their relationships. Not so much about having kids as it is they quit working on it and stopped dating each other.

 

[Barrister]

Pregnancy certainly legitimately saps a woman's desire for sex. However, generally after pregnancy other factors immediately come into play that can cause sex never to come back. Kid stuff certainly contributes, but bigger than that is the woman's perception of the man/father. Hormone problems can immediately turn them into nightmares to deal with and can cause otherwise good relationships to fall apart at the seams and all good feelings to evaporate.

Sex "that never comes back" just means the man, instead of exiting from a loveless, sexless relationship, has chosen to stay for whatever reason and deal with it. Not for me, but to each their own.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Marry a man you desire (find sexy) and this will not be a problem. My first husband & I had sex at least once a day throughout our marriage, often more than that. During pregnancy up til delivery, and we resumed P in V as soon as I was medically cleared (roughly 4 weeks post partum).

Breast feeding was not an issue, the babies were not an issue, you just work around those things.

If sexual desire wanes something else is going on or she never truly desired you from the get-go.

Marry a woman who wants to fvck you and you will not have this problem.

 

[BadBoy89]

And yet I've heard from friends, couples, and acquaintances that 3, 5, or 8 years later, sex has never returned to what it was before, and that their wives' or partners' sexual desire is never the same again.

What are your experiences?

My acquaintances don't discuss their wives sexual appetite with me, whether its after getting pregnant or before.

 

[The Duke]

My acquaintances don't discuss their wives sexual appetite with me, whether its after getting pregnant or before.

Have you ever wondered why?

 

[BadBoy89]

Have you ever wondered why?

To be honest I've never asked an acquaintance about his wives sexual desire after he impregnated her and had a baby.

If I asked a best friend or close relative such a question, they would likely tell me to "go to hell" Sosuave members are asking acquaintances that question; and the acquaintance is telling the Sosuave member that their wives sexual appetite is not as good after they had sex, conceived, and delivered a baby.

If a Sosuave member's acquaintance is that forth coming, then the Sosuave's members close friend would allow the Sosuave member to watch him and his wife have sex when they are trying to get pregnant.

You all must have some REALLY close friends.

 

[BaronOfHair]

@jhonny9546 "There's a popular saying that women have great difficulty after having children..."

Not IMMEDIATELY after childbirth, no. Google video footage of what a vijayjay undergoes, when it pushes another human out... You'll no longer be baffled as to why this is

 

[jhonny9546]

Marry a woman who wants to fvck you and you will not have this problem.

I can see this not being a problem now, but it could be in the future.

She might want you now, but not in a year or two.
Too many couples who are friends start out like this and have dead bedrooms or are no longer attracted to each other.

 

[BeExcellent]

I can see this not being a problem now, but it could be in the future.

She might want you now, but not in a year or two.
Too many couples who are friends start out like this and have dead bedrooms or are no longer attracted to each other.

It is really is that simple. You must screen for women who truly are desirous of you sexually.

 

[Sega Genesis]

For many women (including myself), sexual attraction and desire are linked to her emotions; @Cheeky_James linked an article about this written by a reputable sex therapist/marriage counselor backed up by Esther Perel who has also spoken about this.

As such a woman can start out with extremely high sexual desire for her husband/long term boyfriend but somewhere along the way, could be for any number of reasons (cheating, abuse, they grew apart, lack of communication etc) her emotions shut down and her sexual desire (for him) dried up.

There is so much that goes into a committed relationship and marriage (time, effort, attention to) regardless of whether there are children or not, that if one or more get lazy and take it for granted, attraction, love and subsequently sexual desire can shut down/dry up.

I think this may baffle many men cause even if the relationship/marriage is in complete shambles they still have the desire/urge to f*ck their wives. Some women may be like this too. I'm not but some might be.

 

[BaronOfHair]

@Sega Genesis "As such a woman can start out with extremely high sexual desire for her husband/long term boyfriend but somewhere along the way, could be for any number of reasons (cheating, abuse, they grew apart, lack of communication etc) her emotions shut down and her sexual desire (for him) dried up"

Happens to EVERYONE sooner or later... Men and women just differ in their motives. We yearn for the hunt + Fresh kills once again, thus cease finding our current squeeze especially desirable

 

[jhonny9546]

It is really is that simple. You must screen for women who truly are desirous of you sexually.

As a man, I tell you it's not an easy task.
You may be good at reading the signs, but understanding this accurately is impossible with women.
They're really too good at manipulating you and making you believe they're after you because they like you, and only later you realize it was all a show... but it seemed so real...
So how do you do it? I'm sure a woman can tell us a lot about this.
How do you feel about a man you really want to **** for the rest of your life?
How do you treat him and how do you treat other men who are second or third to him?
What will you do for him and what won't you do for others?

For many women (including myself), sexual attraction and desire are linked to her emotions; @Cheeky_James linked an article about this written by a reputable sex therapist/marriage counselor backed up by Esther Perel who has also spoken about this.

That would be interesting to see.
Do you have a reference?


Also, I'm pretty sure many people find that spark again.. How?
Also, it's really a situational thing.. as you've said many things could happen.
The person could have hormonal imbalanace or any seasonal mental illness and that is huge.
But what really have value is something that person have inside of her that make everythingdifferent, so he or she could have temptation, but still, be rational and be trustworthy.
That is love for someone. That is something that never goes away.

But spark, for sure it does.

 

[Manure Spherian]

As a man, I tell you it's not an easy task.
You may be good at reading the signs, but understanding this accurately is impossible with women.
They're really too good at manipulating you and making you believe they're after you because they like you, and only later you realize it was all a show... but it seemed so real...

Then why bother with them at all?

 

[BeExcellent]

As a man, I tell you it's not an easy task.
You may be good at reading the signs, but understanding this accurately is impossible with women.
They're really too good at manipulating you and making you believe they're after you because they like you, and only later you realize it was all a show... but it seemed so real...
So how do you do it? I'm sure a woman can tell us a lot about this.
How do you feel about a man you really want to **** for the rest of your life?
How do you treat him and how do you treat other men who are second or third to him?
What will you do for him and what won't you do for others?

That would be interesting to see.
Doyou have a reference?

You have to stop assuming everything is a manipulation. Jesus. Authentic desire is exactly that.....AUTHENTIC DESIRE.

I'm married. In this marriage as in my first marriage I have authentic desire for my husband. So there is no 2nd, 3rd or whatever man. All men other than my husband are sexually invisible to me.

Your belief system is that all women come from a place of manipulation. That is an untrue notion. True for many women, NOT ALL.

It is impossible to resond in a way that reinforces your belief system.

You belief system holds you back. Girls who are not manipulators read you as distrustful of women.....and avoid you. Your vibe is all wrong to the good girls out there.

When are you going to grasp this concept?

 

[jhonny9546]

So I'm really interested to know your POV, you said

All men other than my husband are sexually invisible to me.

This means that you won't do certain things you've done with your only man. Which things for example?

AUTHENTIC DESIRE

When are you going to grasp this concept?

When I meet a woman who will be genuine.

My experiences have brought me to meet women of all kinds, from single to married to divorced.
If you say that a woman who truly desires you will do certain things, then I can understand it... yet she stays in a relationship with her man because she desires him too?
That's manipulation.

Many of these women have flirted with me heavily (seductive touches on parts of my muscular body, whispering in my ear, puppy dog eyes, bunny voice). These women have a genuine need to **** me. They really want me.

The problem is, they already have another man. So they're manipulating me.

The single ones, no, but some of them did it just to get laid, or maybe because at the time, I was an advantage to them.

So, maybe I answered myself: women see what an advantage you can be to them, and they'll settle into a relationship with you, even if they don't really desire you.

Otherwise, that doesn't explain why these busy women want to **** me and have let me know.
(And they're beautiful women, 30 to 45, with solid careers, a solid family life, basically, the whole package.)

That said, I believe what you're telling me.
I'm truly interested in changing my perspective.
And if you succeed, you'll have one more man on this forum who you can be proud of.

 

[BeExcellent]

Look. As far as "doing things" only with my husband, that should be pretty obvious.

Intimate & sexual behavior is reserved only for my husband.

Now. That doesn't mean I'm stand-offish to other men, I'm appropriate. I can laugh at an off-color joke, hug someone, say "I love you" to a friend (at my age you never know when you will lose people you care about), I can be cheeky & funny & engaging. Not intimate. Not sexual.

Why do you allow married women to touch you and come onto you? Yes I know, this is a seduction forum. But you seem to be very judgemental about these taken women. You seem disgusted by them....and by extension disgusted with all women. This is antiseductive and repulsive. May I suggest you read The Art of Seduction and carefully consider the points therein.

Cassanova, one of the greatest rakes or seducers of all time suspended morality in seduction. He did not care if his target was married; he did not judge. If you want to learn seduction you must fully embrace it. You cannot appeal to women on one hand, and repel them on the other. To do that creates cognitive dissonance in your targets. Women will not trust you with that vibe.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Look. As far as "doing things" only with my husband, that should be pretty obvious.

Intimate & sexual behavior is reserved only for my husband.

Now. That doesn't mean I'm stand-offish to other men, I'm appropriate. I can laugh at an off-color joke, hug someone, say "I love you" to a friend (at my age you never know when you will lose people you care about), I can be cheeky & funny & engaging. Not intimate. Not sexual.

Why do you allow married women to touch you and come onto you? Yes I know, this is a seduction forum. But you seem to be very judgemental about these taken women. You seem disgusted by them....and by extension disgusted with all women. This is antiseductive and repulsive. May I suggest you read The Art of Seduction and carefully consider the points therein.

Cassanova, one of the greatest rakes or seducers of all time suspended morality in seduction. He did not care if his target was married; he did not judge. If you want to learn seduction you must fully embrace it. You cannot appeal to women on one hand, and repel them on the other. To do that creates cognitive dissonance in your targets. Women will not trust you with that vibe.

He routinely analyzes women in a negative way. At that point, why bother with women at all?

 

[BeExcellent]

He routinely analyzes women in a negative way. At that point, why bother with women at all?

Agreed. He is a prisoner of his faulty belief system and doesn't realize it.

 

[jhonny9546]

Why do you allow married women to touch you and come onto you?

Cassanova, one of the greatest rakes or seducers of all time suspended morality in seduction. He did not care if his target was married; he did not judge. If you want to learn seduction you must fully embrace it.

I've read your comment but I don't understand this.
It's a contradiction?