Don't sweat it, Mahon. Such a mindset is not difficult to attain once you have the necessary confidence in yourself. There are numerous articles on this site detailing the first steps towards self-confidence.
A problem is only a problem when you perceive it as such. Your apparent lack of female companionship is not a problem. You have to go out and meet new girls. There are three billion of them out there, Mahon. With confidence in yourself, you should prove yourself attractive to most of those. You know it.
That's not the point, though. Your happiness comes from within you. Only once you start being happy with yourself the way you are, it shows. And that radiance attracts people.
Another way to think about it is this: if you are prone to feeling lonely and such and somehow you actually manage to get a girl interested in you, you will feel happy. Fair enough.
However, the fact that you depend on her for your own happiness means that she holds complete power over you. When she says jump, you jump your highest for fear of losing her which would cause you to revert to loneliness.
Instead of being her boyfriend, you would be her toy. And, as glorious as that may seem in the moment, it is actually the most damaging state that a guy can be in. Trust me. I've been there.
On the other hand, if you are happy with yourself, you will realise that girls are not the source of your happiness. You would be able to hold the power in your relationships and get what you want from them. You will realise that relationshipps with girls are an enhancement to your life rather than your life itself.
The girl who sent you the email? Forget about making her your girlfriend. And I don't mean that you should put 'gaming' her to the sideline for a little while, I mean forget about it COMPLETELY.
The road to self-confidence is a perilous one. Just when you think you've found self-confidence, you'll likely encounter a situation in which you could either be smart and sidestep a chance to make an ass of yourself, or you could fall into the trap of being infatuated with a single girl, humiliating yourself in the process. I'm warning you. Sidestep it. I damn near made a fool of myself earlier tonight...
I can see that you're going to achieve the self-confident mindset. I can see it because I was once in your exact position. I can see it because you've managed to identify your predicament and admit it. And that's the very first step. A journey of a hundred miles begins with a single step. Your journey will take as long as you want it to.
Pick yourself up. All of your fellow DJs are here to help you. That's what this site is for. I know I'll be smiling when I read your field reports in a couple of months.
---Cassidy
