"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Women Make Me Sick...

CanuckinSK

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I mean, almost literally. I've been receiving employment related training all week and we've had managers lecturing on their respective fields of expertise. I got stuck sitting at the table at the front of the room and today a couple of HB 7-8's did a presentation (separately) near my table, right in front of me about two feet away.

My anxiety and discomfort is so great I could only look at them a few times in their hour long presentations. Had to look at the table, play with my pen, look at the floor, etc. My stomach was churning and hurting so bad, I really felt like I was going to be sick right there. It was like being in hell.


When the male presenters resumed their work, I felt 100% better. They didn't stand anywhere near as close, and I have no problems anxiety wise with them. I know this is totally backwards to what it should be. Being around women just sorta creeps me out nowadays.

To paraphrase GNR's song 'Out to Get Me', am I just fvckin' gone, or what?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Mad Manic

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I don't get it man they are two women, what's the big deal, and you're 37?
 

Guoy Darko

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What are you so anxious about? What is going to happen in your mind? Maybe you should go to a psych if it is so extreme. Nobody should react to a HB 7-8 like that.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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CanuckinSK

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Yes... very perceptive, I am indeed 37. You guys are making a correalation between age and experience. Doesn't always work that way.
 

Nighthawk

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Your fear has turned into a phobia. You need to take baby steps back to a healthy rational relationship with womenkind. Do you have any female friends? Are there women you interact with that don't make you nervous?
 

Maxtro

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Ok you are in really bad shape. You should start off by just saying "hi" and making eye contact to women you work with.
 

Real

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it made him sick because he is so deep in his own AFCness that he feels threatened by women who actually are above him business-wise

dude - why did you not start solving your problems 15 years ago?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Rex Man

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Well, it's a good thing they weren't 9's, we might have had to get House on the case. You might do well to talk to some 5's and 6's just to get your feet wet. I'm saying fvck them, (i mean you can :p ) but just get comfy.

You have to WITHOUT A DOUBT put yourself in more situations around women. I'm a firm believer and facing your fears head on ( and ice cream :up: ), you just gotta :up: man up and do it.

Good luck.
 

Real

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i think that most guys who have trouble with girls are wayyyy too goody goody - i seriously feel like these guys who have no success whatsoever never have gotten drunk and let liquid courage take over when trying to pimp some pvssy......seriously if u feel like u have no hope, try getting drunk and going out, you will see your game drastically change, because all fear will be eliminated

just don't make it an every day thing obviously
 

Bvbidd

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I use to take some heavy drugs or get drunk before I went out with girls, then I realized it really isn't needed, it's a lot cheaper lol to do it sober.

What you have to do, is just start talking to girls as if they are equal to you (don't think about sex), do this a thousand times and you'll be cured.

The only thing I wonder is how the hell you haven't killed yourself yet if you have not even conversed with others. We are social animals, we need to do this, so do they.
 

DJVladdy

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Awww I feel bad for youuu.
There are not enough swear words in the english language that can/should be used on someone like you.
 

Guoy Darko

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DJVladdy said:
Awww I feel bad for youuu.
There are not enough swear words in the english language that can/should be used on someone like you.
What the ****?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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CanuckinSK

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Real said:
it made him sick because he is so deep in his own AFCness that he feels threatened by women who actually are above him business-wise

dude - why did you not start solving your problems 15 years ago?
No, that's not really accurate. I earn as much if not more than these women managers.
 

Real

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CanuckinSK said:
I mean, almost literally. I've been receiving employment related training all week and we've had managers lecturing on their respective fields of expertise. I got stuck sitting at the table at the front of the room and today a couple of HB 7-8's did a presentation (separately) near my table, right in front of me about two feet away.

My anxiety and discomfort is so great I could only look at them a few times in their hour long presentations. Had to look at the table, play with my pen, look at the floor, etc. My stomach was churning and hurting so bad, I really felt like I was going to be sick right there. It was like being in hell.


When the male presenters resumed their work, I felt 100% better. They didn't stand anywhere near as close, and I have no problems anxiety wise with them. I know this is totally backwards to what it should be. Being around women just sorta creeps me out nowadays.

To paraphrase GNR's song 'Out to Get Me', am I just fvckin' gone, or what?

enlist in the military, go to Iraq, and your problems of listening to women who are smart and educated (unlike you) will be over

you have a serious problem that you SHOULDA taken care of 15-20 years ago

hit the gym
 

CanuckinSK

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Real said:
i think that most guys who have trouble with girls are wayyyy too goody goody - i seriously feel like these guys who have no success whatsoever never have gotten drunk and let liquid courage take over when trying to pimp some pvssy......seriously if u feel like u have no hope, try getting drunk and going out, you will see your game drastically change, because all fear will be eliminated

just don't make it an every day thing obviously
I agree with some of what you say. I hardly ever drink, and have only been drunk a couple times in my life. I find that alcohol makes me REALLY depressed, so I usually don't bother to drink.
 

CanuckinSK

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Real said:
enlist in the military, go to Iraq, and your problems of listening to women who are smart and educated (unlike you) will be over

you have a serious problem that you SHOULDA taken care of 15-20 years ago

hit the gym
You speak of my lack of intelligence and education, yet you put out a statement like that? That's a rather idiotic comment to make considering you know absolutely NOTHING about me or my past other than what I post here.

FYI:

-I'm a university graduate (business admin.).
-I have an above average IQ. (yes, I did have it tested).
-I have a very responsible job.
-I'm in above average shape for my age. I work out. My physical state has absolutely nothing to do with my problems.

How old are you anyway? At least have the balls to post your age in your profile.
 

GilHarris

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Guoy Darko said:
What are you so anxious about? What is going to happen in your mind? Maybe you should go to a psych if it is so extreme. Nobody should react to a HB 7-8 like that.
I can definitely relate to CanuckinSK as I'm in a similar situation. I've really regressed over the last year or two. Whenever I'm around a woman I'm attracted to I get kinda dizzy, have a hard time swallowing, stutter badly, and am overall very nervous. I wasn't always this bad, always was nervous but nowhere near this bad.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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