She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
YES, big time, to both.You need to find out what exactly do you feel about these women, or women in general.
For example, are you jealous of them?
Do you feel they are better than you?
Sexuality is a part of it, but it's more with gender.Perhaps, you are having an inner conflict of latent homosexuality?
Never had a girlfriend (or boyfriend). My dysphoria made that very difficult. Still haven't been in a relationshipDid you have a bad relationship with a girlfriend?
Dude... I am glad I 'm not in your shoes.....Sorry to resurrect an old thread, but I just wanted to comment on this just in case someone is in a similar situation.
YES, big time, to both.
Sexuality is a part of it, but it's more with gender.
Since my early childhood I thought about gender. As a kid I prayed every night that'd I'd wake up a girl and used every opportunity I had to make a wish that I would be a girl. Spent most of my life constantly thinking about being female, having lots of jealousy towards the girls/women around me. That only intensified with age.
Thanks to introspection and therapy, I accept that I'm trans. I also realize I'm bisexual and accept that too. I've now been on hormones for about three years and live as a woman. I feel much better. My anxiety towards women went away when accepting myself.
Never had a girlfriend (or boyfriend). My dysphoria made that very difficult. Still haven't been in a relationship![]()
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.