You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
YES, big time, to both.You need to find out what exactly do you feel about these women, or women in general.
For example, are you jealous of them?
Do you feel they are better than you?
Sexuality is a part of it, but it's more with gender.Perhaps, you are having an inner conflict of latent homosexuality?
Never had a girlfriend (or boyfriend). My dysphoria made that very difficult. Still haven't been in a relationshipDid you have a bad relationship with a girlfriend?
Dude... I am glad I 'm not in your shoes.....Sorry to resurrect an old thread, but I just wanted to comment on this just in case someone is in a similar situation.
YES, big time, to both.
Sexuality is a part of it, but it's more with gender.
Since my early childhood I thought about gender. As a kid I prayed every night that'd I'd wake up a girl and used every opportunity I had to make a wish that I would be a girl. Spent most of my life constantly thinking about being female, having lots of jealousy towards the girls/women around me. That only intensified with age.
Thanks to introspection and therapy, I accept that I'm trans. I also realize I'm bisexual and accept that too. I've now been on hormones for about three years and live as a woman. I feel much better. My anxiety towards women went away when accepting myself.
Never had a girlfriend (or boyfriend). My dysphoria made that very difficult. Still haven't been in a relationship![]()
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.