Women going ghost after you escalate too fast

[skinnyguy]

Interested in knowing if you guys have had this experience.

You guys get in bed in the first date, and you never hear from her again/she freaks out.

I know that the answer would be "treat her as a ONS" but what if you wanna see her again? It seems like if you fvck on the first date it will never happen.

The girls who I have established months of rapport building, they never go ghost on me. In fact they usually initiate things with me.

Is it really just about how much the girl knows you and feels comfortable with you?

 

[marmel75]

:crazy:

Easy. No sex on the first date. In fact, you shouldn't even touch her on the first date.
Guys think that by touching her that soon, they're going to bring down her barriers and make her more comfortable with them. WRONG!!

You shouldn't even be kissing her after the first date.

Sure, if she has sex with you after the first date, she obviously wanted to.
HOWEVER, she will wake up in the morning feeling regretful about what she did, and automatically assume all you wanted her for was sex.

Game Over before it really even gets started.

GMMR

What??

I have to seriously disagree with this.

 

[SmooveMooves]

^ What he said is about right except for the kissing & kinoing part.

Not touching or kissing screams:

"I'm a pvssy".

However if you interested in seeing ONSs after the initial ONS the solution is simple.

Don't have ONSs.

No sex.

Go on a regular date, build comfort, rapport, and have fun.

However, if these ONSs were really worth seeing later, they wouldn't be popping that pvssy on the first date anyway.

 

[_sideways_]

I don't know what planet or parallel universe you guys are coming from.

first, if she's in bed with you on the first date. ITS JUST SEX.

second,...building rapport on a strange piece of pvssy is ludicrous. FIRST YOU FVCK...THEN YOU FVCK YOUR WEDNESDAY PLATE...AND IF ....IF THE GIRL YOU LIKE PROVES HERSELF AFTER MONTHS....then you build rapport or the relationship you seek.

THIS IS THE WRONG INTERNET SITE TO BE BRINGING UP THE FACT THAT YOU GOT IN BED WITH HER ON THE FIRST DATE.

in other words...she got hers and moved on. Lol

 

[sylvester the cat]

:crazy:

Easy. No sex on the first date. In fact, you shouldn't even touch her on the first date.
Guys think that by touching her that soon, they're going to bring down her barriers and make her more comfortable with them. WRONG!!

You shouldn't even be kissing her after the first date.

Sure, if she has sex with you after the first date, she obviously wanted to.
HOWEVER, she will wake up in the morning feeling regretful about what she did, and automatically assume all you wanted her for was sex.

Game Over before it really even gets started.

GMMR

unless she was blind drunk or you slipped her some rohypnol why would she regret sleeping with you on the first date?

how is sleeping with her 'game over' when it's pretty much the object of the game?

was alcohol a factor in getting this girl in bed OP? alcohol will usually have the effect you're speaking of. if not then it could be a number of factors: using you to make someone jealous/get over someone, in the moment which passed, experimenting with a man of colour, thought you were rubbish in bed, or she's just a sloot, etc.

did you contact her again? did she respond? how did she respond? how did she freak out exactly?

what is important here is how you respond rather than what the reason is. chalk it up and next rather than get all obssessed over her.

 

[sylvester the cat]

If your goal is to sleep with as many women as possible, don't listen to what I wrote there.

But if your goal is a LTR with what you perceive to be a quality woman, I'd advise against sex on the first date.
I totally respect the fact that others adamantly disagree with my view on this. And that's okay.

If a girl goes ghost on you after you make a move on her, it quite likely means she was turned off by you moving so quickly.

And I'm keenly aware of all the seduction tactics out there to 'overcome last minute resistance', and if sex is all you want, then go ahead and keep looking for wet holes to put your d!ck in. But I believe a true DJ respects women and all they have to offer.
A DJ doesn't look at women as cvm dumpsters.

I just don't subscribe to the 'go fvck whatever doesn't shake you off' theory.

you are making far too many assumptions here that aren't backed up by evidence:

her going ghost could be a number of any factor as i listed in my edited post above.

also you are assuming that getting a girl into bed on the first date is being disrespectful towards her or that the man who does this treats women as cvm dumpsters. there are just as many men who can't get a woman into bed on the first date who are disrespectful towards women and treat them as cvm dumpsters. and let's face it, any woman who sleeps on the first date is probably lacking in the self-respect department anyway. if she slept with you on the first date she probably slept with countless others.

 

[old_skoolr]

No girl who sleeps in the first date, is worth seeing again....unless its for more sex. The girl couldve used you for her own purpose, or you just suck in bed. Need more details before we can make proper judgement. Too much thought is going into why she doesnt talk to you...instead of damn i got laid pretty easy.

 

[CrimsonPanther]

I don't know what planet or parallel universe you guys are coming from.

first, if she's in bed with you on the first date. ITS JUST SEX.

second,...building rapport on a strange piece of pvssy is ludicrous. FIRST YOU FVCK...THEN YOU FVCK YOUR WEDNESDAY PLATE...AND IF ....IF THE GIRL YOU LIKE PROVES HERSELF AFTER MONTHS....then you build rapport or the relationship you seek.

THIS IS THE WRONG INTERNET SITE TO BE BRINGING UP THE FACT THAT YOU GOT IN BED WITH HER ON THE FIRST DATE.

in other words...she got hers and moved on. Lol

^^^ THIS!

fcking a girl = she invested in you => she will automatically have "feelings" for you to resolve her cognitive dissonance. they cannot accept fcking without feelings. this goes even for a french kiss with some girls. you make her go physical = you have her. except if she is a slvt. but you should be able to tell the difference.

on the other hand, if YOU invest too much emotions too fast, she won. and gets uninterested faster than the speed of light.
THIS is why you must have plates and make her work for your emotions. and after the sex be a little distant with her. not rude or offensive, just a little more distant but friendly. then they will seek your approval.

this what the game is all about. make them validate themselves to you. be smart!

 

[Mr Wright]

There seems to be a misconception among some men that treating a woman like a sex receptacle will somehow make her want you more. That giving her the best orgasm she's ever had is going to make her want a relationship with you. WRONG!!

No offence but I think you're a little to inexperienced to make such a judgement. It's actually pretty true. If I think back to all the girls I've made cüm really hard, they've ended up sticking around. I kept fücking them, they ended up wanting more when I haven't. At the end of the day, she's looking for the best dïck to jump on and if you're giving it good, she will stick around.

If you walk into the room with the attitude that you're not going to fück her that night because you don't want to screw it up, it's silly.

But if your goal is a LTR with what you perceive to be a quality woman, I'd advise against sex on the first date.
I totally respect the fact that others adamantly disagree with my view on this. And that's okay.

The one stupid thing wrong with this theory is that you're forgetting that women are sexually charged. You think just because she doesn't sleep with you because you haven't made a move that she wouldn't sleep with some other guy. She just got a free pass at pulling the wool over your eyes, she didn't even have to pretend to not enjoy sex. Then you'll come on here and say what a quality woman she is because she didn't give it up. Yet at some point, she's going to get horny and there will be a guy out there willing to fück her and she will do it because you're thinking you're being smooth. She may keep seeing him at the times she's not seeing you. This all sounds like conjecture but I have tons of female friends and watch the way they operate. They are sneaky like that, they let me go through their phones and sometimes I'm shocked at what the timid girls are getting up to. Treat a woman like she has a sexuality because somebody will and you'll fool yourself into thinking "she's not like that"...then 6 months down the line you find out she's fücked someone else.

I swear some of you don't even seem to like fücking women sometimes.

 

[The_411]

If a woman decides to sleep with you on the first date and then drops out of sight it usually means you failed to build enough comfort/rapport and she wasn't invested enough in the relationship to feel that there was anything worthwhile to seek out. (I.e You've used flash game or you're all fur coat and no knickers)

Slowing down escalation should only be used if you know exactly what you are doing and very few men are capable of it. (No, I'm not one of those guys).

 

[Lotus Effect]

Each situation is unique.

I had this chick I've f*cked on the first date. In the emergency stairs of her building. After having a beer on a gas station with her.

I've dated this chick for about 3 months, and it all ended very naturally!

And I had this one girl that took me the exact 3 dates to f*ck! Which took me a month to complete from the day Ive met her untill the 3rd date!

On the first one I kissed her and we made out. Build very good rapport, as there were friends of mine on the scene.

Second date, went to a regular bar, splitted the bill, and proceed to a car make out session. It got hot and heavy, but ended there.

The third date was a bbcue at my friend's house to watch Brazil vs Germany. Great rapport with the chick, and people there thought she was my GF and stuff! It went really well, as she mingled with the girls there.

After that we went back to her place, had a hot car make ou session and she invited me up!

I had a grape juice, and then I've f*cked her brains out on the living room. Squirter btw!

After that we went to her bed, f*cked another time. Slept. Woke up in the next morning, f*cked again. Then I had breakfast and left.

Very relationship like.


...And then I've never heard of her again!


I never called her back, she never did as well. It didn't bothered me, and I guess it hasn't bothered her as well!

What I meant to tell with this story is that nothing is written in stone. You can f*ck a girl in the first night and have a relationship with her for god knows how long.

And you also can "play it by the book" and never see or hear from the chick again!

THE ONLY THING THAT IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE IS THE FACT THAT GettingMyMindRight HAS ZERO IDEA WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT!

Dude, there is no such thing as different schools of thought. But, I don't blame you. You are new to this, and as your name states, you are still getting your mind right!

Let us all hope you can get there soon!

 

[Lotus Effect]

You misinterpreted me man.

I agree with you on the fact that nothing is black and white, specially due to the human factor/condition, but don't get me wrong, and I'm not here to pick on you and say your advice is sh*t.

I never said I follow an script or anything. I used canned material back in 2009 and 2010 when I got game aware, which is normal, and it might be what you are now seeing. But nowadays things, dates specially, flow naturally for me.

What i've meant with "by the book", is follow what is common practice of going out on dates, to get laid, as opposed of one night stands. Nothing besides that.

Which in my case applied perfectly.

I went out with said girl on 3 great dates, had a really good rapport, and it was expected that the girl would feel some kind of withdraw by my absence, which she haven't.

That is all I've meanted with my backstory, and I guess that is pretty clear throughout the post!

 

[sylvester the cat]

It's all good, Lotus. :rockon:

I keep getting flaked on...so I'd love to be in a position to actually escalate with a woman right now.

Right, so with this in mind why are you coming on here and giving advice to impressionable young men like you know what you are talking about with all your talk of 'respect for women' etc?

You'd do best to sit down, shut up and learn. There is a war being fought out there every day between men and women and we need to learn what the rules of engagement are before we go charging off and getting our hearts shot to pieces.

 

[CrimsonPanther]

It's all good, Lotus. :rockon:

I keep getting flaked on...so I'd love to be in a position to actually escalate with a woman right now.

look, man, it is very simple.

you must ALWAYS escalate for sex. the girl will either give up and let you do her, or not. if not, even then she will see you as a man who knows what he wants and is ready to go for it. this gets respect. she has to know from the first second that you're in for real to not land in the dreaded friend zone.

if you act like a man they will see you as a man. even if she isn't down for sex right on the first date, with every date she should let you do more and more.
intensive (non-intrusive but obvious) kino -> kiss -> touching some boobies and other more interesting bodyparts -> fingerbang, BJ, etc -> fcking.

also, practice and you will get to "feel" why is she rejecting something, and if it is a hard rejection, a soft rejection, or she just wants you to be more persuasive.

a lot of perfectly bangable poon is passed up by men over thinking stuff. as long as you keep it away from anything that can be defined as rape, you are good to go and the worst that can happen is she will not go out with you anymore.

the girls who withhold sex too much are more dangerous than those who will put out on first date. remember this. you can analyze her AFTER you fcked her. until then she is just a faceless item in the crowd.

 

[sylvester the cat]

Just a dry spell, my friend. Currently spinning 6 plates, and the one who flaked on me last night has been deleted from my life.

I've learned a lot here, but I can't wrap my head around how to stop these flakes from happening.

flakes are going to happen. and so they should. nobody hits the jackpot every time. it's how we respond to them that counts. whereas before we may have questioned what we did wrong or pursued the flaker for another date now we are better equipped to deal with the situation. delete the flaker and focus on the ones who don't flake.