You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Leporello said:I don't really know where the OP is coming form. I've spent a lot of time in 'the East' and generally - though, of course, not always - women expect the man to take charge.
I wonder if a Japanese girl would tell everyone she's an expert on the west because I told her I like girls to walk around naked.SharinganUser said:The OP talked to a Japanese girl so that makes him an expert.
DonGorgon said:what ever makes you feel better... you are scared i can see jit in your typed words...
most women like gay looking men now.. what are you gonna do?
Lmao, oh you guys. I have looked at scores of forums, have been watching Japanese media and pop culture since I was a lad, and have talk to a bunch of Eastern women about their type on campus this week.SharinganUser said:The OP talked to a Japanese girl so that makes him an expert.
Theres more to masculinity then taking charge. And I know many of girls who like to take charge themselves and dont mind passivity in a mate.Leporello said:I don't really know where the OP is coming form. I've spent a lot of time in 'the East' and generally - though, of course, not always - women expect the man to take charge.
Yeah because that has a parallel to my OP. Your condescension is much appreciated though.The Pedantical said:I wonder if a Japanese girl would tell everyone she's an expert on the west because I told her I like girls to walk around naked.
Jaylan said:Lmao, oh you guys. I have looked at scores of forums, have been watching Japanese media and pop culture since I was a lad, and have talk to a bunch of Eastern women about their type on campus this week.
I guess I should take your opinions even though they grew up in the culture and know their people and what they like. And I have spoken to quite a few Americans who have lived in the East who know how different it is over there.
I guess its more of a case of dudes here wanting everything that they are learning to apply to all women, despite differences in culture. Because thats what it seems like
.....
Theres more to masculinity then taking charge. And I know many of girls who like to take charge themselves and dont mind passivity in a mate.
Again, Ill take the word of women who grew up in the culture, and anecdotes of the citizens, over dudes here.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Jaylan said:Its just sad how a lot of people here need to disparage someone who doesnt fit into what they expect someone to be as gay. Namely the "Twilight gays" comment. Christ, our culture makes too many of us insecure and judgmental of anything thats different. When dudes need to constantly point out that something might be gay, it says a lot of their own issues and projections really.
Plus, all the women I have spoke to regarding this issue are between 22 and 35. So its not just a younger women thing.
So again, opinions of numerous Japanese-born citizens > Dude who was there for less time or others who have never been
Different strokes for different folks really.
Do you know what the word "mostly" means?Plus, all the women I have spoke to regarding this issue are between 22 and 35. So its not just a younger women thing.
LOL Dude, YOU have never been there yourself. Your opinion is nothing more than hearsay. You think that because you've talked to some Japanese women that makes you some kind of expert on them? What a joke. I talk to doctors quite frequently, it doesn't mean I should be writing out prescriptions.So again, opinions of numerous Japanese-born citizens > Dude who was there for less time or others who have never been
Lmao @ the guy thinking hes knows more than people who actually grew up in the culture. Its not my opinion you dolt. Its from a bunch of citizens, and we have a large population of Japanese on my campus of varying ages.SharinganUser said:It's sad when someones decides to ignore the point of the post and instead focuses on one passive comment which was clearly meant as a joke.
Do you know what the word "mostly" means?
LOL Dude, YOU have never been there yourself. Your opinion is nothing more than hearsay. You think that because you've talked to some Japanese women that makes you some kind of expert on them? What a joke. I talk to doctors quite frequently, it doesn't mean I should be writing out prescriptions.
I bet you are one of those dolts that think Asian women are impressed that you can use chops sticks or say "Konbanwa." Let me tell you a secret, every 3 year old in Asia can do both of those, it's not that cool.
Jaylan said:Lmao @ the guy thinking hes knows more than people who actually grew up in the culture. Its not my opinion you dolt. Its from a bunch of citizens, and we have a large population of Japanese on my campus of varying ages.
Hell if you even read numerous forums where japanese try and speak with foreigners and dating comes up, it even goes with what I have said.
So no its not just my opinion. But I am sure you know more than them. Its funny how a thread that was me asking how to bag a girl whos into men that are different than the Western male archetype, turned into a gay this or that thread. Or dudes acting like they are experts when what I am saying comes from Japanese nationals themselves.
Look up "herbivore men" btw. A few of the gals I asked this topic about this week said they like that kind of guy.
EDIT:
you have to understand why I would take their word over yours dude. Its very logical really.
I mean hell, I remember in my International Business class this past semester...my professor was going over the differences in culture and the tendencies of people from various countries. She mentions an observation of the French ( she was there for a few years) and then one of the French students (of which there are 8 in the class) objected to that viewpoint and told her that her assessment was wrong. Mind you, the rest nodded in agreement with their countryman.
But she still tried to maintain her position and referenced the ambiguous text book info. Basically what I am saying is that who knows their culture better than them? It would be arrogant and ethnocentric to think ones assessment was more valid than those with 20 plus years of first hand experience. Its like Derek Jeters opinion vs some 4th year starter whos only 25.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
HAHAHA, dude you were TALKING about what she finds attractive? I remember doing this in my AFC days. Women would say "I like a man who is x,y,z" and I would transform into that because I thought I would get them (Pathetic!) and it NEVER worked (if it did I would have never came here). Listening to women about what they find attractive is like taking dating advice from them (don't do it).Jaylan said:Ok so I have this Japanese friend who I am very attracted to........She went to talk about how she, and East Asians in general, tend to prefer androgynous men. They can appreciate when guys do things that is beautiful.
Dude I can guarantee you that they are not attracted his grotesque appearance. Women are attracted to strength, imagination, and passion. That is why they go after rock stars and such because they are living their passion. Their music is nothing more than their imagination materialized. Also these 'stars', for the most part, have it made financially. Which brings me to my next point, many women consider your career and what you can offer them, before anything else.Jaylan said:His name is Miyavi and hes wildly popular in Japan. Hes a rock star and she says girls find his beauty sexy, even when he doesnt dress up. I mean Hair Metal guys in the 80s were femme and still got so much tail. I mean hell, I used to be a punk rock kid, so I wore makeup, painted nails, and tight pants back in the day, but you change over time. Now I shop at hollister and H&M.
You 'game' her the same way you would 'game' any other girl. Quit "projecting" masculinity and EMBRACE your sexuality. When you project something you are faking it. There is a difference between believing and doing. One requires radical change the other requires masking your true self (and your real self can't hide forever). Women want a man who makes them feel like a woman, not some androgynous drone.Jaylan said:Anyways, so basically Im trying to figure out how to even game this girl because she doesnt respond to a lot of the things American girls would. I wonder if the masculinity I tried to project previously to her might of been to my detriment.
Jaylan said:Im not gonna even respond to all of that because you missed the entire point. Its not about MY opinion. Its that numerous natural born citizens opinions mean more than a foreign born ex pats. Get that through your head. MY opinion is based on what actual Japanese citizens have told me
I think we are arguing the same thing here almost and you have just missed what I have been trying to say.
Either way, Meh. Btw your Dalai Lama comparison fails because we are talking about two different nationalities of people who historically belong to relatively the same ethnicity. It is not the same as comparing an Americans perspective of Japan to a Japanese persons perspective of Japan. So fail