"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Women do THIS often?

The LadyKiller

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Last week, I met a HB9 who was learning about my department at my job (it's part of a learning project they have). They were watching me and other co-wokers do our jobs. HB9 was talkative, asked me questions related and not related to work, chose to hang out near me throughout the day, 1-on-1 (wanted to eat dinner with me at the cafeteria, would make sure she sat next to me when seeing what we do). Keep in mind HB9 will never actually need to know what we do, it's a glorified info session our boss requires.

This appeared promising until I discovered she is in a long-term relationship with a guy several hours away (it's true). But she never mentioned the bf to me despite having opportunities. She brought it up to another guy who was trying to talk to her, however. I happened to overhear it.

I asked a girl friend of mine - who doesn't know HB9 - about it. Without hesitation, the girl friend told me that HB9 was merely looking for extra attention and it's part of their "game." I've read here that girl who doesn't mention her bf might not be all in to the relationship.

Your thoughts?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Who Dares Win

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It's hard to say, it could be like fly said and she is evaluating a potential branch swing for a better deal, but she could also be interested in staying with that guy while getting extra attention from others (attention which may be mental or physical cant say with such low infos).

Anyway its interesting that you got such reply from that other girl, she either likes you so much as a person and want to be helpful with you or she likes you as something more and got annoyed from that other girl around you.
 

Sir_Laid_A_Lot

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The LadyKiller said:
Last week, I met a HB9 who was learning about my department at my job (it's part of a learning project they have). They were watching me and other co-wokers do our jobs. HB9 was talkative, asked me questions related and not related to work, chose to hang out near me throughout the day, 1-on-1 (wanted to eat dinner with me at the cafeteria, would make sure she sat next to me when seeing what we do). Keep in mind HB9 will never actually need to know what we do, it's a glorified info session our boss requires.

This appeared promising until I discovered she is in a long-term relationship with a guy several hours away (it's true). But she never mentioned the bf to me despite having opportunities. She brought it up to another guy who was trying to talk to her, however. I happened to overhear it.

I asked a girl friend of mine - who doesn't know HB9 - about it. Without hesitation, the girl friend told me that HB9 was merely looking for extra attention and it's part of their "game." I've read here that girl who doesn't mention her bf might not be all in to the relationship.

Your thoughts?
It could be one of these three things:

1) She could be sincerely interested in you therefore all the displays of INTEREST and AFFECTION. Therefore she was always near you, talking to you about work and things not related to work. She wanted to have dinner with you in the cafeteria. No wonder she hid information regarding her relationship with her boyfriend with you because she did not want to JEOPARDIZE her chances with you since she DIGS you so much !!!!

2) It could be that she is USING you to dig out as much INFORMATION regarding your line of work as that is what she is supposed to be doing. Maybe her reputation on work and her progress in her CAREER depends on how well she performs during this visit. You could just be her TEST SUBJECT who she can use for her BENEFIT. After all won't it make SENSE that being with ONE test subject would prove more BENEFICIAL to her than beating about the BUSH with the rest of the CREW. She won't be able to dig out as much information from the other employees because she won't be able to connect more than on a SUPERFICIAL level. Get you hooked EMOTIONALLY and DIG out all the information she can.

3) She is just doing her JOB. She has no interest in you and is just making sure she does what she is asked to.

Yours Sincerely,
Sir_Laid_A_Lot
 

backbreaker

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Sir_Laid_A_Lot said:
It could be one of these three things:

1) She could be sincerely interested in you therefore all the displays of INTEREST and AFFECTION. Therefore she was always near you, talking to you about work and things not related to work. She wanted to have dinner with you in the cafeteria. No wonder she hid information regarding her relationship with her boyfriend with you because she did not want to JEOPARDIZE her chances with you since she DIGS you so much !!!!

2) It could be that she is USING you to dig out as much INFORMATION regarding your line of work as that is what she is supposed to be doing. Maybe her reputation on work and her progress in her CAREER depends on how well she performs during this visit. You could just be her TEST SUBJECT who she can use for her BENEFIT. After all won't it make SENSE that being with ONE test subject would prove more BENEFICIAL to her than beating about the BUSH with the rest of the CREW. She won't be able to dig out as much information from the other employees because she won't be able to connect more than on a SUPERFICIAL level. Get you hooked EMOTIONALLY and DIG out all the information she can.

3) She is just doing her JOB. She has no interest in you and is just making sure she does what she is asked to.

Yours Sincerely,
Sir_Laid_A_Lot
it's none of the three.

she is using you to get the physical attention that her boyfriend is not able to give her beucase of the distance. she knows if she tells you about him that she will not get the attention

she wants/needs the attention. many men, here, mistake that for wanting to get laid but that's not the case.

i was in a ltr for a few months and i did this to girls.

a branch swing is possile but i was in your same situtation when i first came to this forum and spent 5 years trying to make it happen almost. not worth it. just leave her alone.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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nismo-4

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Attention wh0ring, you mean? Yes.

Following Briffault's Law, you mean? Yes.

It's a combination of these most likely. That's my ruling.

Case closed.
 

goundra

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aw fvck you and your "case closed'. Just because YOU say so, right? well wtf are YOU, anyway? nobody, that's who. some arrogant a hole who claims to know it ALL, about people whom you have never even met. what a jerk.
 

VladPatton

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I say hit the gas and go for it, then. Ask her for a drink. But do keep in mind work, her using you to advance ahead. I'd keep an eye open for that, but since she didn't tell you about the bf, she may be looking to progress to a better beefstick. If she mentions the bf, back off, and act like nothing happened.

This should be a fun experiment as to what she does/wants next!
 

The LadyKiller

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A lot of interesting replies so far. All angles are considered from what I've read here.

VladPatton said:
I say hit the gas and go for it, then. Ask her for a drink. But do keep in mind work, her using you to advance ahead. I'd keep an eye open for that, but since she didn't tell you about the bf, she may be looking to progress to a better beefstick. If she mentions the bf, back off, and act like nothing happened.

This should be a fun experiment as to what she does/wants next!
I'm leaning towards the experiment - or at the very least, seeing what could happen. To be clear, I am not a superior to her. We work in different departments with one common supervisor who oversees both divisions. So, she can't use me to advance ahead.

Today, she e-mailed me a nice note to thank me for our time earlier in the week (she learned a lot, appreciates showing her what we do, etc.). It's a very casual observation, and I've had many observers previously. HB9 is the first to ever send a note, which caught my eye.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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sageproduct

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Mike32ct said:
The most friendly women are the taken ones.
SO true.
 

HalfAddict

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goundra said:
aw fvck you and your "case closed'. Just because YOU say so, right? well wtf are YOU, anyway? nobody, that's who. some arrogant a hole who claims to know it ALL, about people whom you have never even met. what a jerk.

He is right.

Attention wh0re
 

Starrie

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...OR she is into you, and she dropped the boyfriend line on that other guy to shut him down, because she wasn't into him.
 
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