"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Women do THIS often?

The LadyKiller

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Last week, I met a HB9 who was learning about my department at my job (it's part of a learning project they have). They were watching me and other co-wokers do our jobs. HB9 was talkative, asked me questions related and not related to work, chose to hang out near me throughout the day, 1-on-1 (wanted to eat dinner with me at the cafeteria, would make sure she sat next to me when seeing what we do). Keep in mind HB9 will never actually need to know what we do, it's a glorified info session our boss requires.

This appeared promising until I discovered she is in a long-term relationship with a guy several hours away (it's true). But she never mentioned the bf to me despite having opportunities. She brought it up to another guy who was trying to talk to her, however. I happened to overhear it.

I asked a girl friend of mine - who doesn't know HB9 - about it. Without hesitation, the girl friend told me that HB9 was merely looking for extra attention and it's part of their "game." I've read here that girl who doesn't mention her bf might not be all in to the relationship.

Your thoughts?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Who Dares Win

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It's hard to say, it could be like fly said and she is evaluating a potential branch swing for a better deal, but she could also be interested in staying with that guy while getting extra attention from others (attention which may be mental or physical cant say with such low infos).

Anyway its interesting that you got such reply from that other girl, she either likes you so much as a person and want to be helpful with you or she likes you as something more and got annoyed from that other girl around you.
 

Sir_Laid_A_Lot

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The LadyKiller said:
Last week, I met a HB9 who was learning about my department at my job (it's part of a learning project they have). They were watching me and other co-wokers do our jobs. HB9 was talkative, asked me questions related and not related to work, chose to hang out near me throughout the day, 1-on-1 (wanted to eat dinner with me at the cafeteria, would make sure she sat next to me when seeing what we do). Keep in mind HB9 will never actually need to know what we do, it's a glorified info session our boss requires.

This appeared promising until I discovered she is in a long-term relationship with a guy several hours away (it's true). But she never mentioned the bf to me despite having opportunities. She brought it up to another guy who was trying to talk to her, however. I happened to overhear it.

I asked a girl friend of mine - who doesn't know HB9 - about it. Without hesitation, the girl friend told me that HB9 was merely looking for extra attention and it's part of their "game." I've read here that girl who doesn't mention her bf might not be all in to the relationship.

Your thoughts?
It could be one of these three things:

1) She could be sincerely interested in you therefore all the displays of INTEREST and AFFECTION. Therefore she was always near you, talking to you about work and things not related to work. She wanted to have dinner with you in the cafeteria. No wonder she hid information regarding her relationship with her boyfriend with you because she did not want to JEOPARDIZE her chances with you since she DIGS you so much !!!!

2) It could be that she is USING you to dig out as much INFORMATION regarding your line of work as that is what she is supposed to be doing. Maybe her reputation on work and her progress in her CAREER depends on how well she performs during this visit. You could just be her TEST SUBJECT who she can use for her BENEFIT. After all won't it make SENSE that being with ONE test subject would prove more BENEFICIAL to her than beating about the BUSH with the rest of the CREW. She won't be able to dig out as much information from the other employees because she won't be able to connect more than on a SUPERFICIAL level. Get you hooked EMOTIONALLY and DIG out all the information she can.

3) She is just doing her JOB. She has no interest in you and is just making sure she does what she is asked to.

Yours Sincerely,
Sir_Laid_A_Lot
 

backbreaker

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Sir_Laid_A_Lot said:
It could be one of these three things:

1) She could be sincerely interested in you therefore all the displays of INTEREST and AFFECTION. Therefore she was always near you, talking to you about work and things not related to work. She wanted to have dinner with you in the cafeteria. No wonder she hid information regarding her relationship with her boyfriend with you because she did not want to JEOPARDIZE her chances with you since she DIGS you so much !!!!

2) It could be that she is USING you to dig out as much INFORMATION regarding your line of work as that is what she is supposed to be doing. Maybe her reputation on work and her progress in her CAREER depends on how well she performs during this visit. You could just be her TEST SUBJECT who she can use for her BENEFIT. After all won't it make SENSE that being with ONE test subject would prove more BENEFICIAL to her than beating about the BUSH with the rest of the CREW. She won't be able to dig out as much information from the other employees because she won't be able to connect more than on a SUPERFICIAL level. Get you hooked EMOTIONALLY and DIG out all the information she can.

3) She is just doing her JOB. She has no interest in you and is just making sure she does what she is asked to.

Yours Sincerely,
Sir_Laid_A_Lot
it's none of the three.

she is using you to get the physical attention that her boyfriend is not able to give her beucase of the distance. she knows if she tells you about him that she will not get the attention

she wants/needs the attention. many men, here, mistake that for wanting to get laid but that's not the case.

i was in a ltr for a few months and i did this to girls.

a branch swing is possile but i was in your same situtation when i first came to this forum and spent 5 years trying to make it happen almost. not worth it. just leave her alone.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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nismo-4

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Attention wh0ring, you mean? Yes.

Following Briffault's Law, you mean? Yes.

It's a combination of these most likely. That's my ruling.

Case closed.
 

goundra

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aw fvck you and your "case closed'. Just because YOU say so, right? well wtf are YOU, anyway? nobody, that's who. some arrogant a hole who claims to know it ALL, about people whom you have never even met. what a jerk.
 

VladPatton

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I say hit the gas and go for it, then. Ask her for a drink. But do keep in mind work, her using you to advance ahead. I'd keep an eye open for that, but since she didn't tell you about the bf, she may be looking to progress to a better beefstick. If she mentions the bf, back off, and act like nothing happened.

This should be a fun experiment as to what she does/wants next!
 

The LadyKiller

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A lot of interesting replies so far. All angles are considered from what I've read here.

VladPatton said:
I say hit the gas and go for it, then. Ask her for a drink. But do keep in mind work, her using you to advance ahead. I'd keep an eye open for that, but since she didn't tell you about the bf, she may be looking to progress to a better beefstick. If she mentions the bf, back off, and act like nothing happened.

This should be a fun experiment as to what she does/wants next!
I'm leaning towards the experiment - or at the very least, seeing what could happen. To be clear, I am not a superior to her. We work in different departments with one common supervisor who oversees both divisions. So, she can't use me to advance ahead.

Today, she e-mailed me a nice note to thank me for our time earlier in the week (she learned a lot, appreciates showing her what we do, etc.). It's a very casual observation, and I've had many observers previously. HB9 is the first to ever send a note, which caught my eye.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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sageproduct

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Mike32ct said:
The most friendly women are the taken ones.
SO true.
 

HalfAddict

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goundra said:
aw fvck you and your "case closed'. Just because YOU say so, right? well wtf are YOU, anyway? nobody, that's who. some arrogant a hole who claims to know it ALL, about people whom you have never even met. what a jerk.

He is right.

Attention wh0re
 

Starrie

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...OR she is into you, and she dropped the boyfriend line on that other guy to shut him down, because she wasn't into him.
 
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