Women call the shots in online dating

[ThisNThat]

There had this women I had been communicating with on OK Cupid, I came to the conclusion after a couple of weeks that she was just catfishing (never wanting to meet because "I am not ready")

I cut ties completely and I noticed something that she ADDED to her profile since our conversation?

I am the one who will decide when I provide my PHONE NUMBER and I am the one who will decide when is time to MEET A PERSON.(Good and sure things takes time) If you are looking for something easy or one date night, I'm so sorry you are in the wrong page!

She followed that up with, "This isn't directed at anyone specific" when I think it actually MAY have been directed at me, or the men that got tired of being texting buddies with. (Yes, I did get her digits, but she kept claiming she "wasn't ready to meet yet.")

I almost feel like sending her an email saying she may want to ease up on those demands, otherwise she'll wind up not even getting a FIRST date (or meet).

 

[El Payaso]

Who cares? She's dead to you. Move on.

 

[dude99]

There had this women I had been communicating with on OK Cupid, I came to the conclusion after a couple of weeks that she was just catfishing (never wanting to meet because "I am not ready")

I cut ties completely and I noticed something that she ADDED to her profile since our conversation?

I am the one who will decide when I provide my PHONE NUMBER and I am the one who will decide when is time to MEET A PERSON.(Good and sure things takes time) If you are looking for something easy or one date night, I'm so sorry you are in the wrong page!

She followed that up with, "This isn't directed at anyone specific" when I think it actually MAY have been directed at me, or the men that got tired of being texting buddies with. (Yes, I did get her digits, but she kept claiming she "wasn't ready to meet yet.")

I almost feel like sending her an email saying she may want to ease up on those demands, otherwise she'll wind up not even getting a FIRST date (or meet).

Don't bother. Go meet women new women. Don't waste time on one that doesn't matter

 

[marmel75]

Women call the shots in all dating not just online.

 

[ubercat]

Men chase women choose. But then they r more tightly tied to their biological programming than we r. So if u understand the code u can exert a degree of influence over their choices.

This one is a std attention hor. By saying u thought she s a cool chick but u like to meet in real u ve enforced yr boundaries. Which is exactly how you have to roll whatever the outcome is. I've always said that is the purpose of online dating - practice. You won't find many unicorns there but it will tighten up your game. You've just got to remember that it is a very artificial environment that inflates egos and not take it at all seriously.

There's plenty of stupid man who will line up to be her orbiter online. Pretty much like an emotional tampon and just as disposable. Anyway she only gets to call the shots during her reproductive years and there is a fall coming. At that point the pendulum swings or she becomes a cat lady.
.

 

[MatureDJ]

After I asked a chick woman to meet for coffee, she retorted with, "what would make you think that I would want to go out with you?" Perhaps it was a test, but I have ZERO patience for anyone I have to prove my worth to. This seems to be a problem with a lot of online chicks.

 

[9Volt]

Chicks who need to resort to virtual dive bars ARE shot and have missed the target of life. Otherwise they wouldn't need to resort to old and attention seeking.

Think about it.

 

[Roober]

Women love the validation. I knew two girls at my son's daycare, and heard them talking. One was HUGGGGGE, and the other was hot. The huge one was talking about.. "I get more action than you and your a skinny b***h" I don't need to tell you how she was acquiring her dates...

There is soooo many men on OLD desperate for poon tang, that even the heffers can get laid with ease. Women love this validation for their ego.

Personally, a first date doesn't mean we are having sex. I would just much rather talk in person than on a text conversation drawn out of a week or two.

The part that irritates me is that women try to project this attitude by the OP as if it makes them valuable... it is truly fvcking pathetic and many guys fall for this ridiculous scheme... I did once...

If a woman tries to convince you of anything, she is likely the opposite!

"I'm loyal" - she has cheated before
"I am nice" - I am a b*tch if you don't fvcking play my games
"I am not ready to meet" - I love attention, and if you don't give it to me, someone else will
you get the idea...

 

[9Volt]

Women love the validation. I knew two girls at my son's daycare, and heard them talking. One was HUGGGGGE, and the other was hot. The huge one was talking about.. "I get more action than you and your a skinny b***h" I don't need to tell you how she was acquiring her dates...

There is soooo many men on OLD desperate for poon tang, that even the heffers can get laid with ease. Women love this validation for their ego.

Personally, a first date doesn't mean we are having sex. I would just much rather talk in person than on a text conversation drawn out of a week or two.

The part that irritates me is that women try to project this attitude by the OP as if it makes them valuable... it is truly fvcking pathetic and many guys fall for this ridiculous scheme... I did once...

If a woman tries to convince you of anything, she is likely the opposite!

"I'm loyal" - she has cheated before
"I am nice" - I am a b*tch if you don't fvcking play my games
"I am not ready to meet" - I love attention, and if you don't give it to me, someone else will
you get the idea...

meh. might as well get angry or rant about an escorts making money and getting "validation" off sleeping with hundreds of men.

makes no sense. if you know the chick is basura why worry about it.

 

[dude99]

[QUOTE="MatureDJ, post: 2406278, member: 26879" "what would make you think that I would want to go out with you?"[/QUOTE]

My answer --" Good point. Goodbye."

 

[Bible_Belt]

"I have the pvssy. I make the rules."

Yes, absolutely. But there are a lot of pvssies out there, each with their own different set of rules. It's easy to move on to a friendlier venue.

 

[EyeBRollin]

You care too much. Move on. This girl is a waste. They aren't all like this.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

All this OLD nonsense!

I am now seated at Starbucks. I just talked to the girl on her laptop next to me for twenty minutes. I let her get back to her laptop for 15 minutes to finish something. She is then going to show me where the local bookshop is, where we will have a coffee together.

Simple. And you manage to screen. First by appearance, then by conversation. She is super cute.

 

[ubercat]

Huh? Your going from Starbucks to get a coffee. Asian girls r a wonder.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Huh? Your going from Starbucks to get a coffee. Asian girls r a wonder.

Well, main thing was to get her out for a walk and a change of scenery. A quick look at books, then hello hello another coffee shop right there. I really don't know how guys can be bothered with OLD when you can meet, in the cafe, an 8 in the looks department, who then makes up the deficit to become a 10 thanks to her personality. No make-up, sexy smiles, sexy glasses, extended eye contact, her laughing a lot... the cutest dimples on a 30 something, and holding of hands when parting. Had a wonderful time with her, and hope to see her again.

 

[QuadDeuces]

I use Tinder, but never spend hours non stop chatting to women.
I'm just too busy and uninterested to do that, I have my work, my housekeeping, my sports, my friends. I'm definately not talking on the app to a strange girl for weeks on end.
I try to set up a date really quickly, like within a few days.
One girl I even met the same day.
If they hold off, or keep cancelling, or don't want to give their phone number or other signs of low interest, I just stop initating talking to them and only respond when they do.
In the meanwhile I try setting up a date with another girl.

 

[backseatjuan]

I am the one who will decide when I provide my PHONE NUMBER and I am the one who will decide when is time to MEET A PERSON.(Good and sure things takes time) If you are looking for something easy or one date night, I'm so sorry you are in the wrong page!

Ok dude, time to have some fun. Create profile with james bond looking millionare with photos of fast cars and fine clubs. Contact that girl, ask her phone number. Arrange a meet. Call her 10 minutes before your set time, tell her you will be late 15 minutes, ask her to go to a restaurant and get a table, and wait for you. Then ditch!

 

[icantgetlaid]

I use Tinder, but never spend hours non stop chatting to women.
I'm just too busy and uninterested to do that, I have my work, my housekeeping, my sports, my friends. I'm definately not talking on the app to a strange girl for weeks on end.
I try to set up a date really quickly, like within a few days.
One girl I even met the same day.
If they hold off, or keep cancelling, or don't want to give their phone number or other signs of low interest, I just stop initating talking to them and only respond when they do.
In the meanwhile I try setting up a date with another girl.

Best advice in this thread.

Anytime a girl adds any obstacle in the process, it's auto next for me.

This should be the process: (her expected behavior in parenthesis)

Step 1...initial online greeting (she responds in timely manner)
Step 2...request phone number (she gives it)
Step 3...initial text greeting and ask for date (she accepts enthusiastically/clearly)

[these first 3 steps should take a total of ~10 mins out of your time]

Step 4...1st date screen for looks/escalate if attracted (she accepts escalation and shows clear signs she's into you)
Step 5...request another date and escalate (she accepts date and your advancements)
Step 6...request a 3rd date somewhere more private/intimate (should be closing the deal by now)

If she adds complication/friction to any of these steps (or to this process) you give no more attention, and wait for her to reach out to you. When she does you put her back on the steps. If you don't hear from her again who cares -- you already got your old plates plus potential new ones going through the steps/process above.

This is the most efficient/time effective/cost effective/least emotional draining way to approach the game.

 

[ashleysummer]

Don't care that much, friend! Women are weird creatures (I'm a woman and I know it for sure). Do not try to understand every women on a dating site . Personally, I respond to every email I've ever received on a dating site. Sometimes it's just a couple of words “I don’t think we’d be a good match, but I appreciate your interest. Good luck on your search!” My female friends say I'm wasting my time, better to just ignore. I'm not that type of person, really.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Don't care that much, friend! Women are weird creatures (I'm a woman and I know it for sure). Do not try to understand every women on a dating site . Personally, I respond to every email I've ever received on a dating site. Sometimes it's just a couple of words “I don’t think we’d be a good match, but I appreciate your interest. Good luck on your search!” My female friends say I'm wasting my time, better to just ignore. I'm not that type of person, really.

I know you're trying to help, but this is not helpful at all.