Women Asking For Advice

[TechnoScotch]

Say, a woman I am interested in comes to me for advice on something I am competent in. Do I dodge it, to avoid being Captain Save-A-Hoe?

 

[Ranger]

What’s the subject matter?

 

[TechnoScotch]

What’s the subject matter?

Could be different things. Career advice - should she take this course or that. Real estate advice - is it a good idea to look for a house in this market.

Not that I am truly an expert on any of that, but probably know more than she, and she perceives me to be competent.

 

[Ranger]

Could be different things. Career advice - should she take this course or that. Real estate advice - is it a good idea to look for a house in this market.

Not that I am truly an expert on any of that, but probably know more than she, and she perceives me to be competent.

Rule number one. Never ever solve a problem for a woman. She is fully capable.
However you can guide them to their own decision without answering it for her. Generally, she will ask your advise and then do something completely different.
Why? Because she will default to the one that is emotionally engaging and most likely the path of least resistance. You will offer the one that gives her the most. Wrong answer.

In fact she already had her answer before she approached you. Understand this fully. When was the last time a woman’s actually listened to your advice? Hmmm?

I generally find resentful women ask a man for advice. Now this isn’t in all circumstances of course. Lol
Don’t apply that without a grain of sense.

Ways to handle:
“What do you think is your best option?”
“What is your goal? Based on that, make the right call.”
NEVER advise. I refuse to give advice to a fully functional woman. However I do point possibly some options.

95% of the time she already knows what she is going to do. If she did follow your advice and it failed, do you actually believe that she would take full responsibility for that outcome? Or would she bare resentment because you screwed her “on purpose”?

 

[TechnoScotch]

Rule number one. Never ever solve a problem for a woman....

Fair enough.

So a follow up question - a woman who I am interested in reaches out complaining about something that put her in a bad mood. Am I correct to assume that your advice will be similar to above, i.e. do not console her or try to make her feel better? If so, how should I respond?

 

[Ranger]

Fair enough.

So a follow up question - a woman who I am interested in reaches out complaining about something that put her in a bad mood. Am I correct to assume that your advice will be similar to above, i.e. do not console her or try to make her feel better? If so, how should I respond?

The real question is why is she complaining to YOU?
Same thing. Don’t advise. Tell her this...
“If that is a problem...you need some real problems.” with a wry smile. Teasingly.
She will get the point. She has girlfriends for that. It’s to see what kind of man you are.

 

[sazc]

The real question is why is she complaining to YOU?
Same thing. Don’t advise. Tell her this...
“If that is a problem...you need some real problems.” with a wry smile. Teasingly.
She will get the point. She has girlfriends for that. It’s to see what kind of man you are.

Yep, completely disengage from a woman you are interested in. Nothing says "quality partner" MORE than a man who dismisses you when you are upset.
#bluecollar
#rideculous

 

[sazc]

@TechnoScotch

Just listen to her. You don't necessarily have to solve anything. She may just want to vent.

If she does want you to solve something, then you need to decide IF you want to solve that thing. You may not want to get involved, and that's okay. Either way it's appropriate to respond "I don't know what to tell you, I don't know how to fix this" and let it be.

The simple act of listening to her WILL make her feel closer to you.

That said, if she's going to try and put you into the position of being her white knight, proceed with caution and evaluate carefully. The problem with offering "solutions" to anyone is - if your solution doesn't solve the issue, will they blame you? Or are they mature enough to simply appreciate that you tried to be there for them.

You don't want to get involved with people that are going to turn to you for help, and THEN make you a scapegoat when you're advice doesn't pan out.

It can be a minefield, proceed with caution.

 

[Ranger]

I would advise against this sazc idea. unless you are in a relationship or heading that way. But still, whining and complaining will never solve anything. She is there for your stability not for you to be a bland teddy bear.

But do as you please. It’s best to take your lumps sometimes. An attentive little man who listens to complaints will need to somehow get his man card back.

 

[sazc]

I would advise against this sazc idea. unless you are in a relationship or heading that way. But still, whining and complaining will never solve anything. She is there for your stability not for you to be a bland teddy bear.

But do as you please. It’s best to take your lumps sometimes. An attentive little man who listens to complaints will need to somehow get his man card back.

He said he is interested in her. He definitely doesnt want to get trapped into being her white knight, but dismissing someone, like you suggested, doesn't draw people closer to you, it pushes them away UNLESS they are low quality/used to dysfunctional relationships. Then your suggestion is grand. But why would anyone want to draw in someone, bring them closer, who lives dysfunctionally in relationships?

Unless she's just going to be a plate. Then it doesn't matter if she is dysfunctional.

 

[MillionBillionaire]

"I really felt like venting but Bob was sooo attentive I think I'll hop on his D tonight."

Said no hot chick in the history of man kind.

Unless she had the hots for Bob since day 1.

 

[sazc]

"

Unless she had the hots for Bob since day 1.

Exactly

 

[sazc]

I'm not denying that this is tricky terrain, but there is a way to allow her to vent and simultaneously give her the panty tingles to where she does want to hop the D because "he gets me"

 

[Ranger]

There are a lot of physiological things that take place when another gives you a problem. Male or female.
This is science not opinion.
Work is one thing. A boss gives you problems to solve and you get paid for it. That’s called an exchange. This is what work is.

So when as a human being, you are looking at another’s problem. This causes, at a very deep level, a man’s computation machine to start working. Even though a woman says “just listen”. It’s a pretty diabolical thing to say.

If we are talking about the back door being fixed then it’s a normal issue.

Ask any of the more experienced men here. Any of them. No matter how many problems you solve, or try to solve, another will imiidiately pop right up to take its place. These are circular. It’s called her problems factory.

Human beings are set up to pose and solve problems dealing with survival. Men have a much greater ability to extrapolate solutions.

So let’s say you have this woman who you are connected to in some way. So she then creates this problem in her factory that seemingly has no solution. Wheather you are to just listen or solve is irrelevant. Your mind, as a man does not make that distinction.
It is extremely diabolical to hand a man some arbitrary problem based on her emotional entanglements. Part of his mind will immediately start calculating.

Let’s say you have 100 units of mental attention. The problem she just handed you now takes up 35 of them. That leaves you 65 to operate on. Depending upon how negative it is, it can get horrific for a man. If she is gaslighting you it can jump to all 100 attention units are now used up and anger jumps in.

Her problems BELONG TO HER. She does NOT have your best interest in mind. Not in the least.

Yesterday on another thread I talked about things that women do that dibilitate a man. This is one of them. Women are completely cognizant of the phenomena of giving a man a problem. It is second nature.

If in any way, you latch onto this problem(even by just listening) you are in jeopardy. If you try to solve it she subconscious knows you won’t stay on any path you choose for yourself. She knows you are a noodle.

As a man in the world and a high end engineering manager I had to learn to listen to a problem and then right after completely drop it into what I call my “well of nothing”. Whatever goes down that well never comes back.

“Just listen”, coming from a woman is another death nail and she knows she’s giving you her problem. She doesn’t even want a solution because there is no solution. It doesn’t exist.

It is rather sinister. A masculine man will nod and drop it down his well of nothing right after. You will need this skill. But I wrote this so you know what happens to the mind of a man when he is handed a female problem from her problems factory. It is a destructive act and she wouldn’t even dare do this to a prized lover. Completely destructive in every way.

Listen to sazc at your own peril. Youve been fully warned.

 

[MillionBillionaire]

Depends on if you use the opportunity to DHV the whole time she is venting. Women tend to get jealous even of their beta orbiters .

Man you been reading too much PUA

 

[sazc]

There are a lot of physiological things that take place when another gives you a problem. Male or female.
This is science not opinion.
Work is one thing. A boss gives you problems to solve and you get paid for it. That’s called an exchange. This is what work is.

So when as a human being, you are looking at another’s problem. This causes, at a very deep level, a man’s computation machine to start working. Even though a woman says “just listen”. It’s a pretty diabolical thing to say.

If we are talking about the back door being fixed then it’s a normal issue.

Ask any of the more experienced men here. Any of them. No matter how many problems you solve, or try to solve, another will imiidiately pop right up to take its place. These are circular. It’s called her problems factory.

Human beings are set up to pose and solve problems dealing with survival. Men have a much greater ability to extrapolate solutions.

So let’s say you have this woman who you are connected to in some way. So she then creates this problem in her factory that seemingly has no solution. Wheather you are to just listen or solve is irrelevant. Your mind, as a man does not make that distinction.
It is extremely diabolical to hand a man some arbitrary problem based on her emotional entanglements. Part of his mind will immediately start calculating.

Let’s say you have 100 units of mental attention. The problem she just handed you now takes up 35 of them. That leaves you 65 to operate on. Depending upon how negative it is, it can get horrific for a man. If she is gaslighting you it can jump to all 100 attention units are now used up and anger jumps in.

Her problems BELONG TO HER. She does NOT have your best interest in mind. Not in the least.

Yesterday on another thread I talked about things that women do that dibilitate a man. This is one of them. Women are completely cognizant of the phenomena of giving a man a problem. It is second nature.

If in any way, you latch onto this problem(even by just listening) you are in jeopardy. If you try to solve it she subconscious knows you won’t stay on any path you choose for yourself. She knows you are a noodle.

As a man in the world and a high end engineering manager I had to learn to listen to a problem and then right after completely drop it into what I call my “well of nothing”. Whatever goes down that well never comes back.

“Just listen”, coming from a woman is another death nail and she knows she’s giving you her problem. She doesn’t even want a solution because there is no solution. It doesn’t exist.

It is rather sinister. A masculine man will nod and drop it down his well of nothing right after. You will need this skill. But I wrote this so you know what happens to the mind of a man when he is handed a female problem from her problems factory. It is a destructive act and she wouldn’t even dare do this to a prized lover. Completely destructive in every way.

Listen to sazc at your own peril. Youve been fully warned.

If you are truly a man you are in charge of your own faculties. You should be able to "just listen" easily.

 

[MillionBillionaire]

Ive never read a single PUA article lol

lol DHV scared the shyt out of me back to when I used to think looks didn't matter lol.

You didn't miss much.

 

[Mazer]

Never had any problem here. My plates value my opinion and that’s why they ask. They know I am a strong male with a rock steady frame so they are interested in how I would approach the situation because most of the time these women have no frame, they look for me to lead. I make a suggestion but tell them it’s ultimately their decision to make. It also helps when your advice works.

 

[TechnoScotch]

They know I am a strong male with a rock steady frame.

Could you please elaborate on that piece? What exactly does it mean and how does it manifest? What does a rock steady frame look like?

 

[Ranger]

Could you please elaborate on that piece? What exactly does it mean and how does it manifest? What does a rock steady frame look like?

A rock steady frame would not write that in the first person. He would write it in the third person.
He would elaborate a story or experience in the first person but precepts from a rock solid masculine man would never present himself as a pinnacle.
You were right to question his words Techno.