Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Women are so impressionable

tryst type

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So, my very first gf from high school whom upon breaking up with me when she went off to college and made me join this site to cure my afc oneitis, texts me out of the blue today.

Let me preface a bit, it's been a good ten years since we broke up and for a good six we have been very amicable/friendly. She has moved to a different state and when she's around visiting her family we usually get together as friends and catch up.

I've lost any and all attraction for her due to her numerous rejections on my attempted advances (my afc days of trying to win her back) I've built a callus towards her and can never see her sexually again, or at least it's very hard to and she's liked knowing that, enjoys just being strictly friends.

Anyway, her best friend just recently became engaged to the guy she was dating at the same time my ex and I were together. We'd constantly double date with them.

So today, her text reads: "Hey! I just want to say how much I miss you and that I want to come home just so we can hang out. Is that weird? Maybe. Haha :)"

Obviously her friend's engagement has something to do with this because she's never said anything along those lines before. Usually it's something like "I'm home if I'm free we should catch up" or something very mundane and has no undertone for anything.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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plate's_empty

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she needs someone to talk to, an old trusty. You still have feelings for her or else you wouldn't care and wouldn't be posting here. What do you want? Do you want to bang her? Or do you want to see how things may work and possibly get into a relationship? Either way, I think you're fvcked.

Not sure what the best route is on this, but since she contacted you....I'd play it cool, be friendly but not easy, tease a little. If things start getting good, don't agree to first meeting she suggests. Turn things around and have her meet you on your terms. Take it from there.
 

betheman

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did you ever have sex with her?
 

Jitterbug

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Radio silence. Amicable or not, shes not worth your time anymore. Lets someone else take care of her bio clock alarm.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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betheman

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So you were with her from age around 15 onwards?
she sees her friends getting engaged and yes she wonders what it would have been like with you but she wants to know you have those feelings for her, she is fishing to find out if she still has an emotional grip on you (she does and she probably knows it)
are you prepared to continue being her safety net? the falback guy?
in response to her text, Id reply...well no I wouldnt
 

tryst type

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I replied with "thanks"

And she said: "fine don't feel the same way..."

I didn't respond. She currently lives in another state with a guy she's dating.

And yes we were in our teens when we dated. We were each others "first"
 

LMFAO

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She's going on the merry go round of the c0ck carousel and lining up her next move.
 

betheman

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tryst type said:
I replied with "thanks"

And she said: "fine don't feel the same way..."

I didn't respond. She currently lives in another state with a guy she's dating.

And yes we were in our teens when we dated. We were each others "first"

Good work man! she will be quietly seeting though so expect either total and everlasting silence or more sarcastic, teasing texts. you have dealt a blow to her ego
 

origin138

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tryst type said:
I replied with "thanks"

And she said: "fine don't feel the same way..."

I didn't respond. She currently lives in another state with a guy she's dating.

And yes we were in our teens when we dated. We were each others "first"
Well played. She's lining up all of her possible resources so she can structure her life of dependency on multiple men/orbiters. You're simply a part of her little safety net from the big mean world.

What matters is if you're getting her best. You're not, so you need to go and not look back.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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