Women and empathy

[dude99]

Just like to here your thoughts on women and empathy.

Obviously women have empathy but I think is might be slightly different to how a man has empathy.

I might be wrong on this assumption but it come across to me is the women's ability to empathise is about how it makes them feel.

For example.... The come across a bird with a broken wing. The can show empathy, diligently and selflessly nurse it back to health. This feels good to them.

But I think without this emotion women find it hard to have empathy. Especially showing empathy to someone they have hurt or caused pain too, as to show empathy in this situation makes them feel bad, because they must perceive they have done something wrong.

So they are unable to empathise in this regard. To show empathy means accountability and this is something I rarely see from women.

Not true accountability anyways. You will hear statements like "I'm terrible mum, because of this or this", these statements are always exaggerated to enlist a response from the listener and to provide reasons she's not /stroke her ego.

This relates a lot to dating for obvious reasons.

Women can sympathize with men, but they can not truly empathize with them. They aren't wired that way. Hypergamy is the opposite of empathy

Some may feel bad or sorry for you (sympathy) and what you could be going through but woman can never truly empathize with a man aka walk a mile in his shoes and feel his stress or experience. If they truly felt empathy the way men do then you wouldn't have millions of women filing for divorce only because they are bored and believe the grass will be greener.

Your wounded bird example is am example of sympathy. She feels sorry for the bird so she helps the bird.

An example of the difference is this

Sympathy = I slapped Rodney because I was having an emotional meltdown. I feel bad Now for hitting him.

Empathy = " I wouldn't want to be slapped at all that would hurt and upset me, even though I am having an emotional melt down hitting Rodney is wrong so I won't do that."

 

[MtmVaott]

Just because women don't show you empathy when you want it it means they have no empathy?!
How do you guys think women read social situations??

And yes women can show empathy when you tell them a problem of yours, if they can relate. Of course, if you tell her a situation she never experienced, she is unable to have empathy.
And yes, women might start to nurture and show pity, which is not empathy. It means she is unable to relate or doesn't want to. And if she acts aggressively she's for the streets and not well suited for something really serious. IMO.

 

[Gypsypie]

Women generally struggle to manage when intense negative emotions like extreme anger, rage, fear, despair, or depression repeatedly consume a man. They may want to support their man, but the extended manifestation of such emotions is difficult to endure. Men's raw, unfiltered expressions of feelings may appear intimidating or overwhelming, leading to unease and discomfort.

I can relate to this. When faced with extreme anger or rage, depression etc. I'll withdraw. Move away from the situation and wait until it's calmed down. I tend to think whatever I say at that point isn't going to be helpful and might make it worse and I'm uncomfortable with it. I don't know how to react. Once it's calm I'm more than willing to show empathy, discuss things, find solutions but at that point usually a man is done with it and doesn't want to discuss it.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Might even be 90/10 or 95/05. But Pareto’s principle doesn’t have to be the effective application in the dating world.

Here’s what I mean by that. Each man has to weigh what is most important right? So let’s use your math and say only 20% of available women have empathy/are truly supportive of men. Well that makes sense really. The majority of unattached women are unattached because there is something about these women that repels men. For some they have unfortunate looks, for some they got fat, for some they have ugly attitudes, for some they are users, on and on. So only 20% of women are pleasant to be around. What percentage of pleasant women are also objectively physically attractive? Ah now the percent shifts to 90/10 or even 95/05.

And so as a man do you really want to get sexual only 5% of the time? Probably not. If you can you’d like to laid more often than that. Therefore getting the weenie wet is higher priority than finding a pleasant personality in an attractive girl.

And that is why we have threads like this. When you settle in favor of sex as the highest priority all those other characteristics are secondary.

And thusly these men are ruled by the penis first which begets all the complaints about women’s nature. My son doesn’t have these complaints and neither does my husband. Why? Because holding out for a top 5% woman was/is more important than having sex.

Food for thought.

Great post!

When I’ve had men complain to me about women generally, I have several times answers, “The solution is simple: avoid most women. Go for one you like.”

After that response, they usually have nothing to say.