Woman with questions

[Latinoman]

I want to know what men really think about ONS and if you did have one, why did you?

I personally would disqualify a woman from having a long-term-relationship with me (or even having a short one) if that woman was into ONS.

Yes, I have been into several when I was younger (with women I just met). And I have been in affairs in which we had sex once (but she was not a random woman). So...I have no issues if a woman disqualifies me from a long-term-relationship too.

Do men really want women who play hard to get?

I don't want a woman that plays game. If she sleeps with me the first night we go out...I won't judge her...because I am also doing the same. My point? At this stage of my life, I won't sleep with just ANY woman. I am selective.

Even if you have been seeing each other for, let's say 2 - 3 years... do you still expect her to pull back now and then? (I asked this on another forum and most said yes - answers and input came from women, just so you know).

If I sense she is playing games with me...I will simply feel inclined to start looking around. You see? I cannot allow my woman to use SEX as a negotiating bargain...and allowing her to play this game is kind of encouraging her to later use it as a negotiating bargain.

 

[Latinoman]

By the way...if she is hard to get that's fine. My issue is when they PLAY hard to get. Or when they use sex as a bargaining chip.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I want to know what men really think about ONS and if you did have one, why did you?

Yes. Several. Why? Because she was hot, I was horny, she was hot for me and the endorphins in both our bloodstreams were flowing.

But that's not what you're asking. What you want to know is why is this significant? Is there some deep, emotional need that's so unmet as to drive a person into wanton temporal sexual lust? Answer: no.

Do men really want women who play hard to get?

No, but most of the members here know why women will do it anyway. Type in "sh!ttest" into the quick search field and all will be revealed for you.

Even if you have been seeing each other for, let's say 2 - 3 years... do you still expect her to pull back now and then? (I asked this on another forum and most said yes - answers and input came from women, just so you know).

Yes. It's called reassuring value. Most guys come to expect this, but few are really prepared to deal with it effectively.

 

[Señor Fingers]

I want to know what men really think about ONS and if you did have one, why did you?

I did it to satisfy my curiosity. It really wasn't all I thought it would be. In my experience, sex is so much better with someone you know and respect.

Do men really want women who play hard to get?

No, we want women that are above games and actually happen to BE hard to get... easy women are not appealing for long term.

Even if you have been seeing each other for, let's say 2 - 3 years... do you still expect her to pull back now and then?

Yup. The trick is giving her enough space so she doesn't need to pull back. That means having my own life and letting her miss me sometimes.

 

[Magma]

I want to know what men really think about ONS and if you did have one, why did you?

I had one a month ago after I had broken up with my last girlfriend. Why did I have one? Because I was horny, she had a crush on me since high school (later revealed. she could be lying, but what do I care?), and I hadn't dipped the wick in over a month.

To me, it was not a big deal. It wasn't a big deal to her either, to be honest. I have no desire to have a LTR with a ONS.

Thing is, I consider myself to be a Lone Wolf, if you will. So to me, a ONS is not a big deal. However, as another poster specified, the ONS does not become a ONS until the next day. So if it turns out to be one, I don't really care because of my reticence in valuing the LTR /Marriage-As-The-Ultimate-Goal paradigm.

I can't speak for her. I can only speak for myself. I don't have a problem detaching emotion from sex.

 

[Quiksilver]

I'm new here as you all can see.

I have a few questions I want answers to. I have asked this before on another forum but the answers I received were from women, not so much from men and also, my thread turned from innocent to men-women bashing thread or women who think they know better.

I want to know what men really think about ONS and if you did have one, why did you?

Do men really want women who play hard to get? Even if you have been seeing each other for, let's say 2 - 3 years... do you still expect her to pull back now and then? (I asked this on another forum and most said yes - answers and input came from women, just so you know).

I have more but these are all I can think of at the moment.

one night stands have their place in my life. The last saturday of every month(hey that's tomorrow! ), my crew comes over and heads out to the bars for a night of drinking, man talk, and tail chasing. The purpose for us is pretty much to get laid at the end of the night. We all stay single, though I have a couple girls that I'm seeing on and off right now. Im not a guy that wants to break hearts so while I'm young Ive made a choice to stay out of exclusive relationships. One night stands are great because you can have a night of sex and never have to deal with that persons emotional baggage. In other words... I'm horny, she's horny, we have sex.

I think that one of the major complaints from women on long relationships is that, it gets boring.

Keeping things a little edgy, teasing, playful and sexy, are all vital for a good LTR(this is just speculative though, the longest relationship I've had was less than a year.).

 

[Allaia]

Thanks, guys for the replies.

I can say that pretty much the answers I have gotten here are the same I have received from my RL guy friends. It's just nice to actually get answers from a man.. and not well, woman.

 

[ketostix]

Sometimes ONS are not started out with the intention of being ONS. It's more like a case of, "LEt's have sex and see what happens". Sometimes it's the woman's prerogative to have and make it a ONS.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Sometimes ONS are not started out with the intention of being ONS. It's more like a case of, "LEt's have sex and see what happens". Sometimes it's the woman's prerogative to have and make it a ONS.

I share that view. In all my ONS experiences it was the woman who decided it was a one night stand, not me. Then again, I am a recovering AFC.

 

[jophil28]

Do men really want women who play hard to get? Even if you have been seeing each other for, let's say 2 - 3 years... do you still expect her to pull back now and then? (I asked this on another forum and most said yes - answers and input came from women, just so you know).

.

An interesting question. I went over to LoveDump and scanned thru the Dating Forum. There are numerous refererences from women which promote and encourage "playing hard to get " (and it's variants) as a legit tactic - it is still "the biggie" in a lot of women's bag o tricks it seems.
However there are NO treads or replies or posts which advise women to be "better women "
I read approx 100 or so posts, and nowhere is there any advice from women TO women to mprove their health, hit the gym, read ,study, improve you finances and generally 'get their shyte" together to be a better candidate for a relationship .

However there are numerous whiny ,boo hoo posts from "women as victim" . You know the ones .." My PERFECT new b/f got drunk with his boys and gave me a booty call at 10pm and I am outraged ... I am sure that all he wants me for is sex...what does this mean about him... blah,, blahh... "
The general thrust of the advise from the female replies to these "innocents" is to "dump him "...." maintain your boundaries"... "be unavailable when he calls. " ... " be this or that .."

The "ladies" over there are stereotypical 1970s mind game players, most are failures at relationships, and proponents of " Vagina power" not to mention the wannabe feminists who take every post as an opportunity to bare their fangs..

Not one post or reply said, " Improve your life, girl, and you will attract a better man ."
This concept seems to be outside their cone of vision ..

 

[iqqi]

... it was revealed iqqi was a guy and a traitor to his gender and driven from the forum ...

News to me!

Where was it "revealed that iqqi was a guy"? Or are you once again going off of Karma's supposed and undisclosed PM's with someone on another forum? Karma is the same guy that months ago had it on "good authority" that I was 2 other posters, including Davenjuan.

I have sh!t to do tonite, its the weekend, but could you all please stop slandering my cybername. I didn't even get involved with the LS fiasco, (tho I thought my monicker (sideline h0) was kind of cute), and this whole bash iqqi crap isn't really making much sense to ME.

Welcome Alaia, as you can see, I'm kind of a big deal. ...and no, I never had my location as "nowhere near you", either. ??

Where are you cats comin up with some of this stuff.

 

[ZenGodMod]

News to me!

Where was it "revealed that iqqi was a guy"? Or are you once again going off of Karma's supposed and undisclosed PM's with someone on another forum? Karma is the same guy that months ago had it on "good authority" that I was 2 other posters, including Davenjuan.

I have sh!t to do tonite, its the weekend, but could you all please stop slandering my cybername. I didn't even get involved with the LS fiasco, (tho I thought my monicker (sideline h0) was kind of cute), and this whole bash iqqi crap isn't really making much sense to ME.

Welcome Alaia, as you can see, I'm kind of a big deal. ...and no, I never had my location as "nowhere near you", either. ??

Where are you cats comin up with some of this stuff.

It's a tough world here in cyber space iqqi. Thought you'd get used to it by now.

You could always leave and snuggle up with your real man...Mr. Jack Daniels.

 

[Allaia]

I had a woman who wanted me for a ONS only, and she made me wait a fukking month for it?? WTF???

One question - if it was an ONS only, why did you even bother waiting?! Are you blaming her for making you wait.. when you could have decided not to?

I think that's a valid question - inquiring mind wants to know....

:cheer:

 

[Allaia]

An interesting question. I went over to LoveDump and scanned thru the Dating Forum.

Thanks. LOL - I actually googled 'LoveDump' and I realised you meant LS.. right?

There are numerous refererences from women which promote and encourage "playing hard to get " (and it's variants) as a legit tactic - it is still "the biggie" in a lot of women's bag o tricks it seems.
However there are NO treads or replies or posts which advise women to be "better women "

So true. There was a couple of threads on "how to get rid of cellulite" etc but nothing on how to be a better woman - I think cause a lot of women think they are good enough the way they are...

That's what I think anyway. Personally, I would like to improve myself.

 

[ketostix]

One question - if it was an ONS only, why did you even bother waiting?! Are you blaming her for making you wait.. when you could have decided not to?

I think that's a valid question - inquiring mind wants to know....

:cheer:

I don't know, why wait for anything you want? Yeah, he could've decide not to wait but then he wouldn't have fvcked her. But your missing the point that women play hard to get even when there's no good reason or purpose, if there ever was.

 

[Allaia]

I don't know, why wait for anything you want? Yeah, he could've decide not to wait but then he wouldn't have fvcked her. But your missing the point that women play hard to get even when there's no good reason or purpose, if there ever was.

Okay. Thing is, I missed the point cause I don't play games. If I want something, I'd go for it.. if not, I won't bother.

 

[ketostix]

So true. There was a couple of threads on "how to get rid of cellulite" etc but nothing on how to be a better woman - I think cause a lot of women think they are good enough the way they are...

That's what I think anyway. Personally, I would like to improve myself.

This is a big point. Men are told to do xyz and to improve xyz. But the women over there don't think women have to ever improve anything about themselves and they vehemently oppose a man imposing any requirements on them.

 

[reset]

At this stage of my life, I won't sleep with just ANY woman. I am selective

If I sense she is playing games with me...I will simply feel inclined to start looking around. You see? I cannot allow my woman to use SEX as a negotiating bargain...and allowing her to play this game is kind of encouraging her to later use it as a negotiating bargain.

Are you saying that before you've slept with her, if you think she's already playing games, you'll just walk away?

 

[reset]

However there are numerous whiny ,boo hoo posts from "women as victim" . You know the ones .." My PERFECT new b/f got drunk with his boys and gave me a booty call at 10pm and I am outraged ... I am sure that all he wants me for is sex...what does this mean about him... blah,, blahh... "

Seems to me it's an excellent resource then, more proof (if you need it) that DJ tactics work.. If women were attracted to guys they could "figure out" such threads wouldn't exist.

 

[reset]

No, but most of the members here know why women will do it anyway. Type in "sh!ttest" into the quick search field and all will be revealed for you.

There seems to be a disagreement on these tests. You seem to be saying that they are just going to happen, even if the girl is interested, and some of the other guys say, if they are happening, the girl is not interested.

From my experience I have gotten these tests from girls who were interested. Doesn't excuse them though. From everything I've gotten here, I'm kind of at the point where the first test would be a next. But maybe that's extreme.