Woman on Feeld messaged me first

[GoodMan32]

This is the first time anyone on Feeld has messaged me first.

It only gets better.

She confirmed she's on board with my fetish (said she finds it funny even). She then requested my number.

She lives only 1 mile away.

She's 24 (how impressive that an autist with fading looks got a woman a decade younger to request we exchange digits, even if she's mediocre in terms of looks)

And to think I was this close to deleting Feeld.

 

[Solomon]

Ok did you set up a date/meet? don't bask in your glory yet sir, set that meet up and enjoy!

 

[corrector]

Is this a free site, or do you you have to pay to reply to messages like that?

 

[GoodMan32]

Ok did you set up a date/meet? don't bask in your glory yet sir, set that meet up and enjoy!

No. Turns out I celebrated prematurely.

Even though she texted me immediately after I gave her my number, she hasn't gotten back to me (I replied to her text to ask "I take it you're _____ from Feeld, right?")

So I guess I have no proof that text was really her (but the timing suggests it must have been her)

Is this a free site, or do you you have to pay to reply to messages like that?

The app is free. Or let's put it this way: It's free to join. It's free to swipe. It's free to message/reply. You can pay for more advanced features, however.

 

[Solomon]

No. Turns out I celebrated prematurely.

Even though she texted me immediately after I gave her my number, she hasn't gotten back to me (I replied to her text to ask "I take it you're _____ from Feeld, right?")

So I guess I have no proof that text was really her (but the timing suggests it must have been her)



The app is free. Or let's put it this way: It's free to join. It's free to swipe. It's free to message/reply. You can pay for more advanced features, however.

This is why you don't celebrate premauterly

Getting a match means nothing
Getting a date means nothing

It's not until she is in front of your face that it means SOMETHING

 

[corrector]

This is why you don't celebrate premauterly

Getting a match means nothing
Getting a date means nothing

It's not until she is in front of your face that it means SOMETHING

Agreed. If it looks like it's too good to be true it probably is. You don't know if there is some phishing going on where they are trying to engage you enough to get information from you, or maybe it's a mechanism to give you false hope so you'll stay engaged in the website, or try some of it's features. Fake profiles have always been a problem when I was trying out new sites over a decade(s) ago. You can just imagine how advance that is in modern times. You might have AI bots that are part of their program to keep users vested in that site.

Then there is the other aspect, even if it was legit, then the girl probably did the same message to other guys, and she selected the most handsome guy who responded first and that's it. That's why I don't buy into the any "new hope" that you are going to meet someone like that of a site.

 

[GoodMan32]

Agreed. If it looks like it's too good to be true it probably is. You don't know if there is some phishing going on where they are trying to engage you enough to get information from you, or maybe it's a mechanism to give you false hope so you'll stay engaged in the website, or try some of it's features. Fake profiles have always been a problem when I was trying out new sites over a decade(s) ago. You can just imagine how advance that is in modern times. You might have AI bots that are part of their program to keep users vested in that site.

Then there is the other aspect, even if it was legit, then the girl probably did the same message to other guys, and she selected the most handsome guy who responded first and that's it. That's why I don't buy into the any "new hope" that you are going to meet someone like that of a site.

You make a good point about how there are AI bots (as well as scammers who might simply be trying to phish information out of you)

While there are a number of reasons I did better with getting dates/cooch from online methods in my early 20s, one crucial reason is the fact AI bots didn't exist yet back then (or at the very least, AI bots were way less common back then)

Even though organized singles events have been badmouthed a lot on this forum, one major perk of organized singles events is the fact you can rest assured you're talking to a live woman (not an AI bot)

Another suspicious thing about the Feeld girl was the fact the number I got the text from was an area code I didn't recognize (I just looked it up; the area code is from Dallas). While it's not unheard of for transplants to hold onto their old number when they move to a different state, the strange area code certainly doesn't help her case.

 

[SW15]

Another suspicious thing about the Feeld girl was the fact the number I got the text from was an area code I didn't recognize (I just looked it up; the area code is from Dallas). While it's not unheard of for transplants to hold onto their old number when they move to a different state, the strange area code certainly doesn't help her case.

Most transplants keep an older number when they move.

When you received a text message from a non-local area code, that alone didn't mean much. You live in an area that receives a lot of transplants from other places.

There are some US metro areas that don't get a lot of transplants.

 

[GoodMan32]

Most transplants keep an older number when they move.

When you received a text message from a non-local area code, that alone didn't mean much. You live in an area that receives a lot of transplants from other places.

There are some US metro areas that don't get a lot of transplants.

Good to know.

I personally changed my area code to a local one right before I moved here so I'd have a local number to put on job applications.

 

[SW15]

I personally changed my area code to a local one right before I moved here so I'd have a local number to put on job applications.

In terms of job search, that's now an outdated/irrelevant tactic and has been for a while. If your LinkedIn is updated to the current geography, they will know you are local on resume submissions for white collar/office roles. Blue collar and low level service jobs might have different norms.

Changing a cell phone number to get a local area code doesn't help too much in the mating environment. It would mean nothing in a transplant heavy big city.

 

[corrector]

But in all honestly, because of the extreme hypergamy social dyanmics, it's fair to say that even if it wasn't an AI-bot and it was a real lady, the point is a 24 year old, has an extreme amount of pull because her SMV skyrockets in those ages. The only way to know for sure if you "beat the system" (ie especially as a non-chad looking guy that is older than she is), is if you meet up with her.

 

[GoodMan32]

In terms of job search, that's now an outdated/irrelevant tactic and has been for a while. If your LinkedIn is updated to the current geography, they will know you are local on resume submissions for white collar/office roles. Blue collar and low level service jobs might have different norms.

Changing a cell phone number to get a local area code doesn't help too much in the mating environment. It would mean nothing in a transplant heavy big city.

I fully agree changing your number won't impact much (if anything) in the mating environment.

When I got the affair with a married woman within a month of moving to my current state, it's highly unlikely the fact I had switched to a local number was the factor that swayed her into banging me.

When I was in college (in a different state than where I attended high school), I still had an area code from the state I attended high school in. Yet I managed to get a decent amount of dates/free sex partners.

After college, I moved in with parents...but my parents were (by that point) living in a state other than the state I attended high school in. Yet I still had my number from the state I attended high school in. Having a non-local number didn't stop me from getting an 8 month relationship with a girl I met on POF.

 

[GoodMan32]

But in all honestly, because of the extreme hypergamy social dyanmics, it's fair to say that even if it wasn't an AI-bot and it was a real lady, the point is a 24 year old, has an extreme amount of pull because her SMV skyrockets in those ages. The only way to know for sure if you "beat the system" (ie especially as a non-chad looking guy that is older than she is), is if you meet up with her.

Good point.

Even a mediocre 24 year old woman has an astronomically higher SMV than an autistic 34 year old low-income man with no car who's a 6-7/10 on the looks scale (I'd rate her a 6. So, interestingly, based on looks alone, we're pretty similar. The fact her SMV is much higher than mine goes to show there are many factors other than looks that go into a man's SMV score)

Another thing is the fact our discussion on the app was mainly focused on my fetish. I had no desire to engage in her fetish with her...nor was I even willing to bang her.

Obviously I knew better than to tell her "I won't do your fetish, nor will I even have sex with you." Regardless, it's extremely likely she might have gotten a message from a man who acted super enthusiastic about her fetish. In that case, I fully admit she'd be foolish to continue talking to me.

 

[corrector]

Good point.

Even a mediocre 24 year old woman has an astronomically higher SMV than an autistic 34 year old low-income man with no car who's a 6-7/10 on the looks scale (I'd rate her a 6. So, interestingly, based on looks alone, we're pretty similar. The fact her SMV is much higher than mine goes to show there are many factors other than looks that go into a man's SMV score)

I have a car but owning the car is eating up all m money. It's like near $ 1000 to maintain it between loan payments and insurance. This is one of the other reasons that a low-paying job is harsh. But having a car is my own way to have privacy when at home. After all, when you are in the road, you are on your own.

 

[GoodMan32]

I have a car but owning the car is eating up all m money. It's like near $ 1000 to maintain it between loan payments and insurance. This is one of the other reasons that a low-paying job is harsh. But having a car is my own way to have privacy when at home. After all, when you are in the road, you are on your own.

I've had a car before (so I know what you mean about the privacy thing)

Ok, my parents technically owned the car...but the car gave me some degree of privacy to where I was able to date a woman who lived in a different town (back when I was 21-22 and living at home)

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP when she immediately texts you from an app or site you say "Hi, XXX" (whatever name you know her by). You don't say what you said, which is both overeager and dismissive at once (it makes it seem like you can't keep track of who you're talking to, but you're *very excited* to talk)

A good third of the women I talk to here in Phx have exotic area codes.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I've had a car before (so I know what you mean about the privacy thing)

Ok, my parents technically owned the car...but the car gave me some degree of privacy to where I was able to date a woman who lived in a different town (back when I was 21-22 and living at home)

Your car is irrelevant to the thread. Dudes, this is how his threads get overextended. Don't talk to him about his d@mn car.

 

[GoodMan32]

OP when she immediately texts you from an app or site you say "Hi, XXX" (whatever name you know her by). You don't say what you said, which is both overeager and dismissive at once (it makes it seem like you can't keep track of who you're talking to, but you're *very excited* to talk)

A good third of the women I talk to here in Phx have exotic area codes.

This is why I have such a hard time with the opposite sex. There are way too many rules to keep track of.

For example, this forum corrected me about the fact the man is supposed to pick the venue back in 2023 (my unfamiliarity with that rule at the time played a role in costing me a 2nd date with a woman)

Ok, so going forward, I know not to break that exact rule ever again.

Yet there are infinite more unknown rules I ended up breaking, one example being the screenshot I shared of a Tinder discussion back in June (I was told by the forum that I apparently talked to her in the "wrong" way)

Then just now, I was told I talked to the Feeld girl in the "wrong" way.

What it all boils down to is the fact my instinct is lacking (and I never get corrected about my instinct until it's too late)

I'm essentially a dog who's only capable of doing the exact tricks my master (in this case, the forum is my master) has taught me.

One thing that's fascinating though is how well I did at communicating on Craigslist back in college. Somehow Craigslist was the one exception where my instinct was apparently "right" most of the time. I managed to successfully bed 5 partners from Craigslist, all free, in college (a number that could have been 7 if it weren't for the 2 dates where we ended up naked in bed, only for me to chicken out). On the other hand, a neurotypical classmate who got girls in person much easier than me failed miserably when he tried the Craigslist experiment. It's interesting how his social grace somehow failed to carry over to Craigslist, while my social ineptitude somehow went away on Craigslist.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

This is why I have such a hard time with the opposite sex. There are way too many rules to keep track of.

For example, this forum corrected me about the fact the man is supposed to pick the venue back in 2023 (my unfamiliarity with that rule at the time played a role in costing me a 2nd date with a woman)

Ok, so going forward, I know not to break that exact rule ever again.

Yet there are infinite more unknown rules I ended up breaking, one example being the screenshot I shared of a Tinder discussion back in June (I was told by the forum that I apparently talked to her in the "wrong" way)

Then just now, I was told I talked to the Feeld girl in the "wrong" way.

What it all boils down to is the fact my instinct is lacking (and I never get corrected about my instinct until it's too late)

I'm essentially a dog who's only capable of doing the exact tricks my master (in this case, the forum is my master) has taught me.

One thing that's fascinating though is how well I did at communicating on Craigslist back in college. Somehow Craigslist was the one exception where my instinct was apparently "right" most of the time. I managed to successfully bed 5 partners from Craigslist, all free, in college (a number that could have been 7 if it weren't for the 2 dates where we ended up naked in bed, only for me to chicken out). On the other hand, a neurotypical classmate who got girls in person much easier than me failed miserably when he tried the Craigslist experiment. It's interesting how his social grace somehow failed to carry over to Craigslist, while my social ineptitude somehow went away on Craigslist.

If she texted you immediately after getting your number, it's bound to be her. You want to keep the chill/cool/sexy vibe on a site like Feeld. It's like the "secret society" thing so don't mention the site, and don't request confirmation. That being said, girls who text me but don't identify themselves usually tend to be difficult in my experience. Even if you just gave her your number, there's no point in making you guess. It's an indicator of potential compliance issues.

Think of it this way - if she texts you immediately, who else would it be? And obviously you want to appear confident, so don't be seeking confirmation it's her unless she starts acting really weird and incongruent.

 

[Divorced w 3]

This is why I have such a hard time with the opposite sex. There are way too many rules to keep track of.

For example, this forum corrected me about the fact the man is supposed to pick the venue back in 2023 (my unfamiliarity with that rule at the time played a role in costing me a 2nd date with a woman)

Ok, so going forward, I know not to break that exact rule ever again.

Yet there are infinite more unknown rules I ended up breaking, one example being the screenshot I shared of a Tinder discussion back in June (I was told by the forum that I apparently talked to her in the "wrong" way)

Then just now, I was told I talked to the Feeld girl in the "wrong" way.

What it all boils down to is the fact my instinct is lacking (and I never get corrected about my instinct until it's too late)

I'm essentially a dog who's only capable of doing the exact tricks my master (in this case, the forum is my master) has taught me.

One thing that's fascinating though is how well I did at communicating on Craigslist back in college. Somehow Craigslist was the one exception where my instinct was apparently "right" most of the time. I managed to successfully bed 5 partners from Craigslist, all free, in college (a number that could have been 7 if it weren't for the 2 dates where we ended up naked in bed, only for me to chicken out). On the other hand, a neurotypical classmate who got girls in person much easier than me failed miserably when he tried the Craigslist experiment. It's interesting how his social grace somehow failed to carry over to Craigslist, while my social ineptitude somehow went away on Craigslist.

Please just remember this at all times, be yourself. She connected with you being yourself. It’s not worth being tactical in your situation, just keep it simple. Smile, be pleasant, and just be you.