Woman asks me to call her before our first date

[Mazer]

Hey guys,

I have three plates going right now but I want to add this chick into my rotation. I started chatting with this 43 year old woman with a kid (i know, i know) who has a body of 25 year old based on her online photos and others she has sent me. We exchanged a few text messages and she asked me why dont I call her, I told her I prefer to meet and talk to her in person, better way of getting to know a person blah blah blah. I texted her, asked her out twice and she always had to check her schedule, (we usually know what that means) She is a nurse.

So I followed the ask her out twice rule and then next her which I did. Fast forward two months later, she contacts me out of the blue asking me how I was doing and that she is looking for a dance partner (she knows I dance Salsa) I asked her out for this weekend and she responded with "it depends, have you overcome your fear of using the phone?"

The non DJ way would be to tell her to go **** herself, that a 43 year old woman with a child shouldn't be so difficult to meet up with. Any suggestions on how to respond to this. I don't want to call and give her the power. I was thinking of texting her saying its true what they say about Latinas, they are so demanding or some **** like that or just asking her are we meeting up on Friday or what, I will call you the day before to confirm.

 

[Billtx49]

Give her the additional security comfort she needs with a call. She probably has some unfounded fear or wants it to be on a more personal basis…
She thinks you’re afraid of a call, show her you’re not.

 

[Dingo]

Call her...

 

[AJ84]

Hey guys,

I have three plates going right now but I want to add this chick into my rotation. I started chatting with this 43 year old woman with a kid (i know, i know) who has a body of 25 year old based on her online photos and others she has sent me. We exchanged a few text messages and she asked me why dont I call her, I told her I prefer to meet and talk to her in person, better way of getting to know a person blah blah blah. I texted her, asked her out twice and she always had to check her schedule, (we usually know what that means) She is a nurse.

So I followed the ask her out twice rule and then next her which I did. Fast forward two months later, she contacts me out of the blue asking me how I was doing and that she is looking for a dance partner (she knows I dance Salsa) I asked her out for this weekend and she responded with "it depends, have you overcome your fear of using the phone?"

The non DJ way would be to tell her to go **** herself, that a 43 year old woman with a child shouldn't be so difficult to meet up with. Any suggestions on how to respond to this. I don't want to call and give her the power. I was thinking of texting her saying its true what they say about Latinas, they are so demanding or some **** like that or just asking her are we meeting up on Friday or what, I will call you the day before to confirm.

Jesus, not every single thing is a power struggle. Resisting talking to her on the phone makes you sound like you have something to hide. It's weird. Get over it and call her if you want to see her. If you don't then move on but don't over analzye benign details.

Also, don't assume that just because she's a single mom that's she's desperate and readily available to meet up. She's a single mom who works as a nurse (shift work). She's not making it difficult, she has a life and responsibilities outside of meeting men, and would probably like to talk to you on the phone to get a better feel for you before spending what little free time she has meeting with you. If that hurts your ego then don't date single moms with careers or stick to childless women or single moms with no jobs.

 

[Von]

Actually, she's screening you.

She wants to know if you are worth her time.

Mother/Nurse... you have no idea how demanding it is.

If you afraid of a call... how can you call yourself a man?

 

[Dash Riprock]

50% of the women I meet on various dating sites want to talk on the phone first. I'm not a big fan of it either, but what's the big deal. Fine, we'll talk for a few minutes, I'll make her laugh, and then get off the phone after sealing the date deal. Not that hard.

 

[sazc]

Be silent, say nothing. That's what's going to get her hamster wheel spinning.

I'm feeling like you've already lost frame with this one. Instead of eagerly wanting to meet you she's throwing the SAME sh1t test your way that she three before. Know why she's doing this? Because she feels she holds frame.

You could throw her a bone and call to chat, but BOLO for other sh1t tests in the future.

 

[sazc]

Be silent, say nothing. That's what's going to get h I goer hamster wheel spinning.

I'm feeling like you've already lost frame with this one. Instead of eagerly wanting to meet you she's throwing the SAME sh1t test your way that she three before. Know why she's doing this? Because she feels she holds frame.

You could throw her a bone and call to chat, but BOLO for other sh1t tests in the future.

 

[Roober]

Some of you guys make this stuff way too complicated. She already thinks your a bit odd for not wanting to talk on the phone, probably thinks your immature as h3'll and has no time for stupid games.

She is basically calling you on your bs. I would probably agree with @sazc that you lost frame with this one. I say get in a text convo, then just call her. Talk then ask her to meet you at xxx at xxx time.

If she doesn't agree or doesn't counter, then tell her to let you know when your ready to meet up and you'll see if you can for her in.

 

[devilkingx2]

Just call her lol, she wants to make sure that you're not catfishing her.

Also dating a single mom with a legitimate career is an awful idea unless she's gonna be a plate you see once a week

Regardless of whether or not she's making a power play, if you wanna get laid you're probably gonna have to call her. But that takes nothing out of you so who cares, the power plays that matter are the ones that cost you something.

 

[marmel75]

Some women like talking on the phone and seeing if you are nervous, etc...

Its to your advantage to call her if you are good on the phone because most guys probably aren't.

 

[zekko]

I texted her, asked her out twice and she always had to check her schedule, (we usually know what that means) She is a nurse.

Nurses often do work some pretty bizarre schedules, so I wouldn't red flag her on that alone.
I agree with those who say just call her, it isn't going to cost you anything, it doesn't mean you're giving up your balls. Women have to be (or at least should be) more careful than men about meeting new people.

 

[Murk]

Calling is mandatory, I would rarely meet a girl without a quick 5 min call anyway. She's right, you're scared to call and frankly not worth her time at the minute.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

I'm betting you call her and a gruff, manly voice answers the line with "HELLO DARLING. I'VE GOT YOU NOW."

 

[derby1]

how the Fck is calling her handing her power ?

calling her is confident trait of a secure male

I wouldnt meet a woman without speaking to her.... its just fcking weird and immature

 

[djthiago1]

If you've never met in person and she wants a call do it. Keep it short and remember to CLOSE at the end, GET THE DATE.

 

[Mazer]

I ended up giving her a call, turns out she is going to be moving out west to California in two weeks for a few months. Lol, I set up a date either way the goal is to bang her obviously on the first date and not spend a dime on her, might split the tab on this one. Women are so freaking weird.

 

[Andrewdiceclay]

Really? Just call her. A real DJ would. Only punks don't call. She is being safe and valuing her life and time to make sure you aren't a creep. Sounds cool to me so far.

 

[Mazer]

Did you invite her to meet/dance?

Of course. We have a date this Friday night. I also got her to send me some provocative photos. Thank you everyone for your input.

 

[The Diver]

Fresh example from yesterday:

Texted this woman online,and after few text messages, I told her:
Me: you know, nothing beat face to face chat, so let meet up at xxx at xxx time.:
She: I agreed,nothing beat face to face.I'll see you there.
Me: Cool, my Ph NO.xxxxxxx.

Later on she txt to my phone:
"Just in case you want to txt me, or better, to Talk! " (with a very strong hint on the "Talk!")

Later on I called her and we had a 10 minutes nice chat , and in the end she said:
"I like you,and I'm glad you called.You don't know how many times I rejected men who sound great when texting but was a NO GO after talking to them on the phone.

Don't know, maybe she plan to flake if I wasn't to call (It's happened to me few times before , since then I'm always calling,It's signal me out from most men who's just texting)

So my conclusion is: The phone call is their way to screen us just like we do to them,plain and simple,nothing wrong with it.