With experience now, I am good at seducing, but always scared to kiss

[Grifonculo]

Hi guys, it's being a while since I started frequently to approach women, I learned to build connections, I lerned to escalate with phisical contact, I learned to enjoy speak with women without being attached to the outcome.
I entered in a mentality where I approach, if the woman likes me we can have a connection, if she doesn't like my approach, I am ok anyway.
Since I received many different outcomes: women that totally dislike me, women that really appreciate me, women that look at me with a disgusted face, and women that where ready for the kiss with their face close to mine.

And the problem is with these last kind of women. Those women that naturally appreciate me for who I am.

So bacically this happen:

- I go out in the city center, I approach women I like
- many reject me
- some really likes me
- I connect with thse women that likes me
- I am being funny, interested in who they are, and I touch them on the arm, or on the back
- quite some of these women all do the same thing: after I connected with them, and after I escalated, they put their faces very close to mine


At the beginning I was totally unaware that they want to kiss me. I started to see it when they basically run away looking that I am not doing the move.

And this is a pattern that is repeating and repeating again and again.

I would like to move my stupid face some centimeter closer to them to catch the kiss.

But I start having many toughts like: "you just met her is too early for the kiss - people will judge you thinking that you are a maniac going around kissing women - police would arrest you if you kiss women on the street - if you kiss her she will reject you and never see you again".

So what I do? I take the number (if she didn't run away already) and project a date, but of course they all ghost me, because they understood that I wasn't having the ball to kiss her.

And so, to me, to give that kiss is something like a dangerous thing for my mind and body, I am very difficult to kiss women.

Somebody can help me with this? I am getting mad, is like I know I can have relationships with pretty women, but I always messed it up

 

[Plinco]

This might not be the right response that you're looking for, but it is all in the escalation process. If everything goes right, she would want you more than you want her, and you can see it in her rate of breathing, tone of voice, etc. If she is intense enough (I'm assuming that you're not a virgin at the age of 38), that's when you lead her into a kiss.

 

[SmoothHendrixPS2]

Sexual guys get the girls

 

[Grifonculo]

Yeah guys, is what I am saying, I have to give that kiss, but a lot of toughts just make me to run away from that. I am stuck on the kiss phase from quite some time, and don't know what to do about it

 

[viking22]

If she likes you your timing doesn't have to be perfect although better to err on the side of trying too soon. If she isn't ready she'll dodge the kiss and you can try again later but if you wait far too long before making a move she will get bored and go cold. Over time you will calibrate it better and start to sense instinctively when she is ready to be kissed. But a large part of it is getting out of your own head and paying attention to her and your dynamic.

 

[Bible_Belt]

The old trick is to touch her hair.

 

[crowolf]

I got the same issue. I've had many first dates recently that didn't convert to a second date, (I think) mainly because I didn't go for the kiss.

But at least I am getting closer each time. Last date was some days ago. My arm was around the couch and slightly making contact with her back. We had a lot of eye contact while we were sitting close. I tried the triangle gaze. At one point I told her she has nice hair, and touched it. Then I told her slowly that there are 3 things I really find attractive in a woman: 1) hair, 2) eyes, 3) lips. Then around the last part she told me that she has kissed girls before. I ask her how would she rate her kissing skills (silly question, I know). She says 8. But then tells me "I don't kiss on the 1st date". This really felt like a rejection on the spot. I don't know if it was a $h1t test for me taking so much time to do the thing, or whether it's just a boundary. Later on the date I tried pulling her head towards mine, saying "I know what you said earlier, but I just have to try". She said "If I allow you (to kiss me)".

I think 1st step is to verbalize it. I've heard one trick, saying "I am trying really hard not to kiss you right know". Or "if you keep looking me with those hungry eyes, something might happen". Both are delivered with a slight smirk, and a flirty vibe.

This year I am committed to conquering this fear, so let's see...

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

When she moves closer, or if you move closer; and ESPECIALLY if it is BOTH of you moving closer, try this...

Try INTENSIFYING eye contact. Be more focused on her eyes now that you would be in conversation. Look to one eye, then the other, watch to see if she is doing it. Your bodies will almost automatically do the rest. lol.

I'll second the hair touching. If you're feeling REAL brave and playfull, gently squeeze some of her hair in your hand and gently pull her forward if she seems to like the hair touch. In almost all cases, she's not going to get that close if she isn't wanting to kiss you!

Dude! You're doing GREAT!!!

 

[Mike32ct]

Hair touch is really good, and there are many different variations of it that work.

Here is a simple one. Look into her eyes. Take your fingertips (using one hand) and gently brush her hair off the side of her face.

You are pretending that the wind blew her hair into her eye, and you’re moving it out of the way. That’s the best way I can describe it.

Most likely she will stand still (or possibly move closer), and most importantly she will SMILE or smirk/blush. Then it’s on. She’s ready to be kissed.

If she backs away and/or turns her head, then no.