Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Shoot I just wanted to use that as a direct approach so I don't worry about "what am I going to say." In the case of the redhead it was easy to ask her about the planner she was writing in, because I was genuinley interested. With the other chick, I followed up with asking where she was walking to...lame.jdbman11 said:
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
She is definitely smoking. It's hard not to call her an HB10. She works at the tanning salon so I have talked to her a couple times before. I will write out the entire convo tomorrow. I made quite a few AFC moves...Neurosponge said:
jkhaha eff off fuker it's winter. I don't know exactly what the best situation is when walking along the sidewalk, mall, store, etc.. Honestly I've been having alot of trouble with that too. I just try to keep my head and eyes up, think about something else until she gets close, and when she's about 15 feet away i'll look at something right above or behind her which will naturally cause her to look, then i look at her and smile. try it out. i'm sure there are other methods thoughNeurosponge said:haha yeah that def was a rocky convo, but props for pulling through!
Hmm well I can't rlly give that much advice, but I think that if you walked in there with another HB and had fun with her, that would send the message that the HB9.5 is nothing special.
Btw, tanning salon? in Texas? Come oooooon
As for the boot camp, I have a question. I notice that often when walking along the sidewalk, I will spot a girl from quite a distance away, and she'll notice me too, so we might make eye contact. Now, it will prolly take like 10 or so seconds before we are actually within talking distance...do I just focus on her eyes the whole time or what? Should I try not to "notice" her till I'm closer?
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Good job so far, and don't worry about it! It sounds like you're waiting too long to say hi. Just say hi on initial eye contact. Greet everyone. Who the **** cares what they think? They're strangers. You'll never see them again. Go out there and finish! You've got this.Neurosponge said:
Well said. And Bond is probably right about the waiting thing. That's what I was doing. I was trying to hold EC for a little too long before saying Hi. It makes it awkward for the stranger and yourself. Like I mentioned before, try to catch their eye contact/vibe and try not to stare at them before they're looking at you. And when you guys meet eyes, smile, "hi!". Go get em bro. Remember it's all in good FUN.Mr. Bond said:
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
jdbman11 said:
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.