iqqi
Master Don Juan
Grab your laptop, and start doing your "work" at a cafe or pub. Try Bull & Bear, seeing as that is a supposed trader's bar.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Windy City Chronicles
- Thread starter macallik
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackhaaaaaaaaaaaawks!
It is a great time to be in Chicago. The city is rocking this week thanks to the Stanley Cup victory. I can only imagine the sheer rioting that will take place if the Cubs every pull an upset and snatch the World Series. As for the Blackhawks, I was actually going to watch that deciding game from a bar the night they won it but NBC had the game on so I was able to watch it at home. I'll have to settle with forever imagining the 15 seconds of indecisiveness of Blackhawks' fans in bars when Kaner's OT goal went but no one knew for sure except #88.
I made up for it today and ventured to The Loop after watching the opening World Cup game at home. Downtown was pandemonium or 'fandemonium' as some try-hard local reporters call it. Purportedly over two millions people made the trek downtown this morning I wouldn't doubt it judging from the utter chaos at the Lake train station.
I had no idea where the actual presentation was taking place and the general directions the local news gave were of no use to my green sense of direction in the Chi. I settled for just following the crowd and ended up smack dab in the middle of thousands of people at every turn. The hub of the city was practically shut down. Stores were open but no one was going in them, streets were open but cars were not allowed on. There was a sea of red everywhere with Cubs and Soxs fans alike coming together to celebrate the Blackhawks even if they will revert to hurling insults once they are back behind a computer screen.
Things did get a little tense with the sweltering heat, drunk kids throwing full water bottles, and indirect pushing that resembled a cue to your average bar for drinks to name a few things but an edgy result is to be expected when half the crowd is drunk and the other half is stone sober. Mostly just the underaged kids acting up from what I saw. The biggest cheers of the day were for Niemi, Kaner, Quenneville, Toews and Hossa. Byfulgien got an honorable mention.
Also, I got a day approach under my belt in the first time in what feels like forever. Crashed and burned but felt good to put a brick towards my palace.
As for the weekend, I am probably gonna hit up a street festival with Terrisa. She is leaving in a week or so and texted me yesterday so I thought why the fvck not and invited her to tag along . I can never have too much interactions with the opposite gender.
I might go out tonight, if so, might head North to party because the party atmosphere is gonna be pretty kickass from hockey fans and people who have been drinking since the parade.
It is a great time to be in Chicago. The city is rocking this week thanks to the Stanley Cup victory. I can only imagine the sheer rioting that will take place if the Cubs every pull an upset and snatch the World Series. As for the Blackhawks, I was actually going to watch that deciding game from a bar the night they won it but NBC had the game on so I was able to watch it at home. I'll have to settle with forever imagining the 15 seconds of indecisiveness of Blackhawks' fans in bars when Kaner's OT goal went but no one knew for sure except #88.
I made up for it today and ventured to The Loop after watching the opening World Cup game at home. Downtown was pandemonium or 'fandemonium' as some try-hard local reporters call it. Purportedly over two millions people made the trek downtown this morning I wouldn't doubt it judging from the utter chaos at the Lake train station.
I had no idea where the actual presentation was taking place and the general directions the local news gave were of no use to my green sense of direction in the Chi. I settled for just following the crowd and ended up smack dab in the middle of thousands of people at every turn. The hub of the city was practically shut down. Stores were open but no one was going in them, streets were open but cars were not allowed on. There was a sea of red everywhere with Cubs and Soxs fans alike coming together to celebrate the Blackhawks even if they will revert to hurling insults once they are back behind a computer screen.
Things did get a little tense with the sweltering heat, drunk kids throwing full water bottles, and indirect pushing that resembled a cue to your average bar for drinks to name a few things but an edgy result is to be expected when half the crowd is drunk and the other half is stone sober. Mostly just the underaged kids acting up from what I saw. The biggest cheers of the day were for Niemi, Kaner, Quenneville, Toews and Hossa. Byfulgien got an honorable mention.
Also, I got a day approach under my belt in the first time in what feels like forever. Crashed and burned but felt good to put a brick towards my palace.
As for the weekend, I am probably gonna hit up a street festival with Terrisa. She is leaving in a week or so and texted me yesterday so I thought why the fvck not and invited her to tag along . I can never have too much interactions with the opposite gender.
I might go out tonight, if so, might head North to party because the party atmosphere is gonna be pretty kickass from hockey fans and people who have been drinking since the parade.
ARrocket
Master Don Juan
How bout my Brewers the other night?macallik said:
Dunno... How about them? I know Brewers are in the same division and around the same skill level but I don't follow baseball too tough nowadays. Baseball fell of my radar hard after the NLCS 'fan interference' loss. Plus the fantasy baseball takes waaay too much spare time and dedication.ARrocket said:How bout my Brewers the other night?
Went to Zentra on Saturday night coz it was free for some Tupac anniversary. Luckily they only played three 2pac songs all night so it wasn't like people were trying to dance to the whole 2pacalypse Now tracklist.
While waiting for a refill at the bar, a girl that was grinding on a guy stopped and told me to talk to her friend. I talk to the friend (Tamala) and it is going swimmingly but for some reason, Tamala just up and disappears.
Teena, the girl who told me to talk to Tamala, starts talking to me again, asking how the situation went. I told her it was going okay until Tamala up and left. After talking to Teena for about a minute, Teena asks me for my #, telling me she knows I am not going to call while she gets it. Oh did I mention this entire interaction was done while she was grinding on another guy, shielding her phone while typing in my number? The guy looked like a loser so it was probably more out of politeness rather than actually caring what he thought, but still a unique situation.
Tamala reappears a couple minutes later and the interaction goes a lot better with more touching on my part and conversation in general. I get her number, and this night, I didn't bail as soon as I got the digits. Of course, when she tells me she is going to the bathroom, I tell her that I will wait for her downstairs (read: look for more women to talk to) and she forces me to come upstairs with her. Kinda glad actually coz I need to focus more on pushing the interaction with a specific woman rather than interacting in general with a bunch of females.
So far, yesterday I texted back and forth with Teena but have yet to talk to Tamala. She only has a house phone and two kids so I have a small window to call her but still kinda sloppy on my part. My greedy ass is looking to double up but I need to regroup and dance with the girl I came with. If her friend wants to get in on the action later, fine, but there is no point in losing the more interested girl by being a hound-dog. I will call Tamala today.
Yesterday, I went to Printer's Row Lit Festival which was cool. It was like a yard sale in the middle of Dearborn street except everything the house owned was used books. I bought a bunch of hardcover books for no more than $5 when the used editions are going for around +$20 on Amazon.
I didn't talk to any girls there. I only saw one or two my type but I didn't work up the courage to open them. The weather started to worsen for the day, so I decided to take a quick walk before I headed to the library to get some reading done.
While walking along State Street, I saw this thiiiick girl while and blatantly checked her out. She said hello, or something frivolous to me in passing so I peel back and start talking to her.
She had some tight ass yellow leggings on and wanted my yellow shades to complete her outfit. Unfortunately I am very fond of these shades. I asked her what she was gonna give me for the shades and I can't remember what she replied to that. I told her to give me her number and she sidestepped that one if my memory serves me right.
Then I told her to trade me her necklace for my shades and she obliged. I really didn't want her necklace though and so declined. I told her the next time we meet up, I will let her wear my shades. I was using that line as a transistion for the digits again as my phone was already out but she said OK and walked away. D'oh. I should have chased her down for the digits but was kinda awestruck coz I thought my intentions were well known by her. The bums sitting on the ledge at Prizter Park said they liked my moves with the ladies though ahaha.
Last edited:
Hmmm.
I have an opportunity to work as a CSR at 10 bucks an hour. I would prefer a job relating to business that pays more but a steady income is a steady income. It would be from 4pm-12am but that is actually a big plus for me because i can play the markets daily if I desire.
If I choose to take the position, it will definitely kickstart my independence a I will have to restart the apartment hunt because I am not interested in coming home after dark daily in this hood. Having sole control of my life's path is why I came to Chicago, so steps towards moving out of my grandparent's house is appealing but on the other hand, is it financially responsible? They say that your rent should only be a weeks worth of rent but that isn't financially feasible on $10/hr. I'd be looking at around 1/2 my take home pay going towards rent.
On the plus side, working the pre-graveyard shift downtown also allows me the opportunity to go clubbing daily if I desired. On the flip side of the coin, it does make things awkward socially beyond clubbing. It does work well for schooling coz I can sign up for classes during the Fall semester and be walking distance from work afterwards.
Also, in the back of mind, I am contemplating accepting the job and looking for a better job on the low but I would feel kind of guilty leading on the employee. Then again I don't owe them anything.
Just thinking aloud on the situation. Feel free to throw in your two cents.
I have an opportunity to work as a CSR at 10 bucks an hour. I would prefer a job relating to business that pays more but a steady income is a steady income. It would be from 4pm-12am but that is actually a big plus for me because i can play the markets daily if I desire.
If I choose to take the position, it will definitely kickstart my independence a I will have to restart the apartment hunt because I am not interested in coming home after dark daily in this hood. Having sole control of my life's path is why I came to Chicago, so steps towards moving out of my grandparent's house is appealing but on the other hand, is it financially responsible? They say that your rent should only be a weeks worth of rent but that isn't financially feasible on $10/hr. I'd be looking at around 1/2 my take home pay going towards rent.
On the plus side, working the pre-graveyard shift downtown also allows me the opportunity to go clubbing daily if I desired. On the flip side of the coin, it does make things awkward socially beyond clubbing. It does work well for schooling coz I can sign up for classes during the Fall semester and be walking distance from work afterwards.
Also, in the back of mind, I am contemplating accepting the job and looking for a better job on the low but I would feel kind of guilty leading on the employee. Then again I don't owe them anything.
Just thinking aloud on the situation. Feel free to throw in your two cents.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Im feeling you on the pushing interaction with a girl. I finish up and bail out too soon when things are going well, then lose all the momentum after the night. Learned that last weekend.
Should go for the job too, when contemplating an oppurtunity like this it always feels better to throw yourself in and see what comes of it. Its too easy to make excuses and find flip sides of coins.
Should go for the job too, when contemplating an oppurtunity like this it always feels better to throw yourself in and see what comes of it. Its too easy to make excuses and find flip sides of coins.
Yesterday I went out to Zentra for a night that proved to be vastly more expensive than it needed to be. I ended up number closing an older woman that had jumped on me to dance on two different occasions during the night and was staring at me while i stood next to the bar.
She was not really that cute, I just did it for practice and ego stroking but whatever a number is a number.
Today, I had to cut short the broadcast of Brasil v Ivory Coast game due to plans with some Chicago peeps down to work on day game. On the way downtown, while waiting for the EL at my local spot, I spot a cutie walking in my direction. The woman was cute, light skinned with some skinny jeans on and a strut because she was wearing heels. I give her heavy eye contact and she returns intently so I go up to her and say hello. Well I made an attempt at it. It ended up being very soft and subdued and I had to repeat it but it got the conversation started.
After I open she tells me I look familiar. I tell her I get that a lot (I actually do, but I am going to think of something witty to say in response for future interactions)Turns out the girl was 30 years old and we met in a club before, Soiree I believe. I think I got the digits and she flaked on me? No idea. I gotta reread the journal and crossreference with her age...
Back to the interaction today. I stick in there and push to get a better conversation than my normal slop jobs. I ask her what she is up to for the day, and she tells me she is buying a card for her pops.I ask her is that all and she says no, she taking her pops out to dinner. I asked her somewhere special for fathers day or just getting him something off the dollar menu, etc. Convo was going swimmingly until the train came, then I hesitated on sitting next to her and sat a row of seats next to hers. Also I didn't continue speaking to her and so it got more awkward to start speaking to her with each passing minute.
I saw her getting ready to get off and realized that I have to grab my balls and go for broke. I saw she had a blackberry as well so I scooped up her BB Pin, forgot it by the time she got off the train and then got lucky and remembered it and typed it into my phone. Her name is Ashanti.
So I continued the ride on the Redline just outside the Loop to get some solid day game with the fellas. I wasn't really nervous in meeting them but it was extra relaxing that they were two laidback guys. One was a lot more confident talking to women in a cold approach setting so me and the greener member just had the anxiety of approaching gnawing at our seducer souls while we watched his effortlessness, but we talked to each other and he would come back and give us advice on how things were when he first started working consistently at day game.
Eventually after about an hour of discussing theories and procrastinating about 'how little women there are out on a Sunday' or how 'that girl was cute but just not my type' I finally get the first approach out of the way. It was a female coming down the escalator in the Macy's on North Michigan. She ended up being too young so I ejected shortly thereafter but the first one is always the hardest. True to form, after this it was easy-peasy. I grabbed digits from a girl working at a sports store and also a girl walking at a pedestrian crossing along North Michigan Avenue, right around that hotel were people are always on strike.
Surprisingly, I had little to no concern about what the general public thought about me when I approached today. It was a good feeling. I'll report more when it happens. Deuces
She was not really that cute, I just did it for practice and ego stroking but whatever a number is a number.
Today, I had to cut short the broadcast of Brasil v Ivory Coast game due to plans with some Chicago peeps down to work on day game. On the way downtown, while waiting for the EL at my local spot, I spot a cutie walking in my direction. The woman was cute, light skinned with some skinny jeans on and a strut because she was wearing heels. I give her heavy eye contact and she returns intently so I go up to her and say hello. Well I made an attempt at it. It ended up being very soft and subdued and I had to repeat it but it got the conversation started.
After I open she tells me I look familiar. I tell her I get that a lot (I actually do, but I am going to think of something witty to say in response for future interactions)Turns out the girl was 30 years old and we met in a club before, Soiree I believe. I think I got the digits and she flaked on me? No idea. I gotta reread the journal and crossreference with her age...
Back to the interaction today. I stick in there and push to get a better conversation than my normal slop jobs. I ask her what she is up to for the day, and she tells me she is buying a card for her pops.I ask her is that all and she says no, she taking her pops out to dinner. I asked her somewhere special for fathers day or just getting him something off the dollar menu, etc. Convo was going swimmingly until the train came, then I hesitated on sitting next to her and sat a row of seats next to hers. Also I didn't continue speaking to her and so it got more awkward to start speaking to her with each passing minute.
I saw her getting ready to get off and realized that I have to grab my balls and go for broke. I saw she had a blackberry as well so I scooped up her BB Pin, forgot it by the time she got off the train and then got lucky and remembered it and typed it into my phone. Her name is Ashanti.
So I continued the ride on the Redline just outside the Loop to get some solid day game with the fellas. I wasn't really nervous in meeting them but it was extra relaxing that they were two laidback guys. One was a lot more confident talking to women in a cold approach setting so me and the greener member just had the anxiety of approaching gnawing at our seducer souls while we watched his effortlessness, but we talked to each other and he would come back and give us advice on how things were when he first started working consistently at day game.
Eventually after about an hour of discussing theories and procrastinating about 'how little women there are out on a Sunday' or how 'that girl was cute but just not my type' I finally get the first approach out of the way. It was a female coming down the escalator in the Macy's on North Michigan. She ended up being too young so I ejected shortly thereafter but the first one is always the hardest. True to form, after this it was easy-peasy. I grabbed digits from a girl working at a sports store and also a girl walking at a pedestrian crossing along North Michigan Avenue, right around that hotel were people are always on strike.
Surprisingly, I had little to no concern about what the general public thought about me when I approached today. It was a good feeling. I'll report more when it happens. Deuces
Last edited:
iqqi
Master Don Juan
You live in Chicago. You have an outgoing personality. You are a writer undercover.
Get a job in the service industry, maine.
I have one that isn't even that great when it comes to potential money in this city, and I STILL pull an average of $150 for a 6-7 hour shift.
Thank me later.
Get a job in the service industry, maine.
I have one that isn't even that great when it comes to potential money in this city, and I STILL pull an average of $150 for a 6-7 hour shift.
Thank me later.
iqqi
Master Don Juan
And stop appearing so EAGER.
I swear, once you realize this on your own, your game will SHOOT to the moon.
Swoosh!
I swear, once you realize this on your own, your game will SHOOT to the moon.
Swoosh!
Thanks Iqqi and Ease. I think I missed out on the CSR job coz I took too long thinking about accepting the job then actually accepting it lol. I do agree that I can appear eager at times but there is a thin line between being eager and playing games and hiding emotions. I am working on it.
Went out last night with the girl I met while sarging State Street on Sunday, Serena (say that three times fast). I invited her to a Def Jam Poetry set in the south loop I saw advertised. She arrived with friends and without enough money which was a strike. She did hunt for an ATM and withdraw some extra cash though.
I was feeling doubly flustered when I arrived because I was running late thanks to ****ty mobile google maps directions and my arrival was met with Serena and and her two friends questioning whether they still wanted to go into the club. Apparently admission was raised without rhyme or reason thanks to these sheisty Chicago promoters.
However, richer heads prevailed and the group decided to go in. While waiting in line at the ticket booth I prepared myself for plenty of finger snapping substituting for actual applause, coffee drinking beyond what I deem to be socially acceptable and men and women alike with bedhead and scraggly facial hair. Instead I walked in to a scene FILLED with sexy black women and a raucous atmosphere with a comedian as the host.
Serena’s friends walked ahead of Serena and I, and proceeded to grab the last two seats in the lounge, on a couch, right in front of the comic host doing his set... Rookie mistake ladies. Let’s just say the comedian had the whole crowd laughing at the two friends within minutes. Suffice to say, me and Serena posted up far away from the comedian at the bar.
The comedian was probably one of the funniest people I have ever seen live but his material and the scene in general just wasn’t first date material. It is awkward laughing about the scenario of finding out that a close friend is gay and how the public eye views you as guilty by association or the blatantly homophobic message the comedian conveys when describing his course of action if he ended up with a gay son. The kind of stuff that is funny/politically incorrect that it is hard to laugh without the feeling of being judged or giving the impression of close-mindedness.
Next up was a poet though so maybe that would set the tone for the night with Serena. Like most red-blooded males, I am not a fan of poetry but to misquote Katt Williams, “I don’t like poetry… but b!tches do”
However, no one told the poet/performer that poetry still is some kind of art and should be treated as such. Poetry is not black-code for "angrily ‘talk’ a rap verse without a beat." If you are shouting on a microphone and/or your subject matter includes how good your aim is with a gun at all, then it is safe to say you are not using poetic license, you are in fact a disillusioned rapper.
Other than the comedian, I was also privy to a few singers but
within half an hour I was ready to go regardless of how much I liked the comedian or disliked everyone else. I was there for Serena but every time we would start speaking, the damn people on the mic would unknowingly c0ckblock me by belting their verses louder or saying a joke that made the crowd roar with laughter. After about half a bottle worth of Heineken of this torture, I told Serena to finish her drink and we would check out a different bar in the area.
We ended up at a lounge she saw when she went looking for an ATM earlier that night and it was actually pretty dope. We grabbed a couch and proceeded to drink/talk until the bar closed.
I never thought I’d be a “close the bar down on a first date” kinda guy but there I was. Looking back, I think I can be guilty of talking too much and romanticizing my ideals but I gotta get out of my system every now and then, it can't be all about fingerfvckin girls in the club.
I did talk too much at times or say things that didn't help the cause but it was still good conversation skills in general so I am pleased about that. During our conversation, on the one hand I felt like she is kind of reserved and not so open sexually as to put out the first night, but on the other, she mentioned how much she loved living alone and stuff that is perceivable as signs for some action that night, or at least easy enough to convince myself of unwarranted ambiguity when I have been drinking.
We walked back to the train station and got lost multiple times thanks to BB Google maps which still has some kinks to work out. Funny story, I went to put my arm around her and overshot my intended target and ended up grabbing a titty. Nervous laughter was had by all.
We just missed what we perceived to be our train, let our actual train go by and proceeded to get on the wrong train. After we (she) recognized the error, we got off and waited at a random stop at the Blue Line. I sat her in between my legs and held her close and her face started brushing against mines.
Before I knew it, we started going at it like school kids while waiting for the train to come. We cooled it down a bit when some homeless guys walked by us on the platform and then our train came. After transferring, we went our separate ways with a quick hug and a kiss.
Her lack of clamoring over me today has me second guessing the situation at times but deep down I know I did well... if not with her then in terms of progress overall. While I am not looking to get in a relationship (I think?) she is definitely wifey-material. She speaks 3x the languages I do, is well traveled, works for a law firm and has her head on pretty straight from what I have deduced thus far. Definitely the kind of woman I could take on my arm to a company dinner if I was employed or going to a dinner. Kinda makes me wonder why she is with me but then I remember how amazing I am.
Another experience in the Chi
Went out last night with the girl I met while sarging State Street on Sunday, Serena (say that three times fast). I invited her to a Def Jam Poetry set in the south loop I saw advertised. She arrived with friends and without enough money which was a strike. She did hunt for an ATM and withdraw some extra cash though.
I was feeling doubly flustered when I arrived because I was running late thanks to ****ty mobile google maps directions and my arrival was met with Serena and and her two friends questioning whether they still wanted to go into the club. Apparently admission was raised without rhyme or reason thanks to these sheisty Chicago promoters.
However, richer heads prevailed and the group decided to go in. While waiting in line at the ticket booth I prepared myself for plenty of finger snapping substituting for actual applause, coffee drinking beyond what I deem to be socially acceptable and men and women alike with bedhead and scraggly facial hair. Instead I walked in to a scene FILLED with sexy black women and a raucous atmosphere with a comedian as the host.
Serena’s friends walked ahead of Serena and I, and proceeded to grab the last two seats in the lounge, on a couch, right in front of the comic host doing his set... Rookie mistake ladies. Let’s just say the comedian had the whole crowd laughing at the two friends within minutes. Suffice to say, me and Serena posted up far away from the comedian at the bar.
The comedian was probably one of the funniest people I have ever seen live but his material and the scene in general just wasn’t first date material. It is awkward laughing about the scenario of finding out that a close friend is gay and how the public eye views you as guilty by association or the blatantly homophobic message the comedian conveys when describing his course of action if he ended up with a gay son. The kind of stuff that is funny/politically incorrect that it is hard to laugh without the feeling of being judged or giving the impression of close-mindedness.
Next up was a poet though so maybe that would set the tone for the night with Serena. Like most red-blooded males, I am not a fan of poetry but to misquote Katt Williams, “I don’t like poetry… but b!tches do”
However, no one told the poet/performer that poetry still is some kind of art and should be treated as such. Poetry is not black-code for "angrily ‘talk’ a rap verse without a beat." If you are shouting on a microphone and/or your subject matter includes how good your aim is with a gun at all, then it is safe to say you are not using poetic license, you are in fact a disillusioned rapper.
Other than the comedian, I was also privy to a few singers but
within half an hour I was ready to go regardless of how much I liked the comedian or disliked everyone else. I was there for Serena but every time we would start speaking, the damn people on the mic would unknowingly c0ckblock me by belting their verses louder or saying a joke that made the crowd roar with laughter. After about half a bottle worth of Heineken of this torture, I told Serena to finish her drink and we would check out a different bar in the area.
We ended up at a lounge she saw when she went looking for an ATM earlier that night and it was actually pretty dope. We grabbed a couch and proceeded to drink/talk until the bar closed.
I never thought I’d be a “close the bar down on a first date” kinda guy but there I was. Looking back, I think I can be guilty of talking too much and romanticizing my ideals but I gotta get out of my system every now and then, it can't be all about fingerfvckin girls in the club.
I did talk too much at times or say things that didn't help the cause but it was still good conversation skills in general so I am pleased about that. During our conversation, on the one hand I felt like she is kind of reserved and not so open sexually as to put out the first night, but on the other, she mentioned how much she loved living alone and stuff that is perceivable as signs for some action that night, or at least easy enough to convince myself of unwarranted ambiguity when I have been drinking.
We walked back to the train station and got lost multiple times thanks to BB Google maps which still has some kinks to work out. Funny story, I went to put my arm around her and overshot my intended target and ended up grabbing a titty. Nervous laughter was had by all.
We just missed what we perceived to be our train, let our actual train go by and proceeded to get on the wrong train. After we (she) recognized the error, we got off and waited at a random stop at the Blue Line. I sat her in between my legs and held her close and her face started brushing against mines.
Before I knew it, we started going at it like school kids while waiting for the train to come. We cooled it down a bit when some homeless guys walked by us on the platform and then our train came. After transferring, we went our separate ways with a quick hug and a kiss.
Her lack of clamoring over me today has me second guessing the situation at times but deep down I know I did well... if not with her then in terms of progress overall. While I am not looking to get in a relationship (I think?) she is definitely wifey-material. She speaks 3x the languages I do, is well traveled, works for a law firm and has her head on pretty straight from what I have deduced thus far. Definitely the kind of woman I could take on my arm to a company dinner if I was employed or going to a dinner. Kinda makes me wonder why she is with me but then I remember how amazing I am.
Another experience in the Chi
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Decided to take it to the streets this afternoon. I met up with a cat who PM’d me and we went out to run some day game. Once I pulled myself away from the World Cup I headed downtown and after a little confusion, we met up. Cool guy.
We took a walk around State Street and headed for Millennium Park which is awesome btw. I had never been to the area before last Sunday, but since then, I have been there at least four times this week. To the uninitiated, Millennium Park is a park that is walking distance from the main downtown district in Chicago. Great spot for a date, a stroll or to relax and read a book without leaving the heart of the city.
It has that big metallic mirror ball thingy that the tourists love where you can see your reflection in it, as well as an outdoor theater with an open grassy backdrop. Yesterday both areas were buzzing as the city hosted one of its many free 'concerts in the park' days.
Me and the wingman walked around and shot the **** for a good bit, talking about women and the anxiety that comes with approaching mostly. I knew I needed to get that first one out of the way and kept putting it off. Then when we headed back to State Street, I saw a woman walk by and my legs just started moving. Chocolate complexion, thin like I like em, and wearing a denim skirt that showed off her toned legs. I got close to her and used the opener the that has been rolling off my tongue as of late:
Macallik: Look, I know I am probably the third guy to come up to you today and say this.. but I think you’re cute and I wanted to say hello
And we are off to the races. I guess you could kinda call the opener direct. I am gonna retire that line shortly and try something new because I want each experience to be unique from the beginning and don't want to rely on one tactic too much. Personally, I want to create the kinda game where if a bunch of women I dated met in a room, they would all have different perceptions and interactions to talk about.
Anyways, let me stop romanticizing about my relationships with the opposite sex and get back to the lady who made me think about sex. The woman, (Michelle) and I were chatting it up as we walked by the Macy’s on State Street.
During the convo, I made the mistake of looking ahead while talking instead of eye contact. As a result, while we were talking I had to repeat some of the stuff I said which killed the interaction at times. Also, I was trying to make a joke of things too much and not enough actual interesting conversation. I suppose I was trying too much for the witty banter instead of listening to what she was saying and actually processing it, but of course, hindsight is 20/20
The age thing came up pretty much identical to my first approach in Chicago, on the train with Estelle. She acknowledged that she thought I was really cute and that if she was younger she would give me her digits quickly but blah blah blah, she has a younger sister my age that I should meet and how flattered she was.
I stayed persistent but she wasn’t budging. She said she was going to Mrs Fields to grab a cookie and I am confident that it was a subtle invitation to eat with her but I had left my wingman at the intersection. The next time I am gonna go hang with the girl and text my wingman my intentions.
Hmmm that is pretty much it… I did go for the digits again. She declined but did tell me to add her on facebook and hopefully she can be open to the idea of someone younger than her. I am not holding my breath. I added her and we chatted for less than a minute before she went offline, came back online after five minutes and went straight back offline when she saw I was still on. Lol. Women of all age act the same it seems. Onto the next one.
Oh yea, I talked to one more girl after that. I was unsure about her age originally but the wingman prodded me a little so I rolled up on her. She seemed frigid at first, cracked a smile within 15 seconds and then told me she wasn’t going to waste my time and that she had a boyfriend within about a minute. Wasn’t that interested I saved the witty comeback for myself. I did tell her the good ones are always taken and then wished her the best of luck in her relationship before chasing down the wingman.
Enjoy the weekend fellas!
We took a walk around State Street and headed for Millennium Park which is awesome btw. I had never been to the area before last Sunday, but since then, I have been there at least four times this week. To the uninitiated, Millennium Park is a park that is walking distance from the main downtown district in Chicago. Great spot for a date, a stroll or to relax and read a book without leaving the heart of the city.
It has that big metallic mirror ball thingy that the tourists love where you can see your reflection in it, as well as an outdoor theater with an open grassy backdrop. Yesterday both areas were buzzing as the city hosted one of its many free 'concerts in the park' days.
Me and the wingman walked around and shot the **** for a good bit, talking about women and the anxiety that comes with approaching mostly. I knew I needed to get that first one out of the way and kept putting it off. Then when we headed back to State Street, I saw a woman walk by and my legs just started moving. Chocolate complexion, thin like I like em, and wearing a denim skirt that showed off her toned legs. I got close to her and used the opener the that has been rolling off my tongue as of late:
Macallik: Look, I know I am probably the third guy to come up to you today and say this.. but I think you’re cute and I wanted to say hello
And we are off to the races. I guess you could kinda call the opener direct. I am gonna retire that line shortly and try something new because I want each experience to be unique from the beginning and don't want to rely on one tactic too much. Personally, I want to create the kinda game where if a bunch of women I dated met in a room, they would all have different perceptions and interactions to talk about.
Anyways, let me stop romanticizing about my relationships with the opposite sex and get back to the lady who made me think about sex. The woman, (Michelle) and I were chatting it up as we walked by the Macy’s on State Street.
During the convo, I made the mistake of looking ahead while talking instead of eye contact. As a result, while we were talking I had to repeat some of the stuff I said which killed the interaction at times. Also, I was trying to make a joke of things too much and not enough actual interesting conversation. I suppose I was trying too much for the witty banter instead of listening to what she was saying and actually processing it, but of course, hindsight is 20/20
The age thing came up pretty much identical to my first approach in Chicago, on the train with Estelle. She acknowledged that she thought I was really cute and that if she was younger she would give me her digits quickly but blah blah blah, she has a younger sister my age that I should meet and how flattered she was.
I stayed persistent but she wasn’t budging. She said she was going to Mrs Fields to grab a cookie and I am confident that it was a subtle invitation to eat with her but I had left my wingman at the intersection. The next time I am gonna go hang with the girl and text my wingman my intentions.
Hmmm that is pretty much it… I did go for the digits again. She declined but did tell me to add her on facebook and hopefully she can be open to the idea of someone younger than her. I am not holding my breath. I added her and we chatted for less than a minute before she went offline, came back online after five minutes and went straight back offline when she saw I was still on. Lol. Women of all age act the same it seems. Onto the next one.
Oh yea, I talked to one more girl after that. I was unsure about her age originally but the wingman prodded me a little so I rolled up on her. She seemed frigid at first, cracked a smile within 15 seconds and then told me she wasn’t going to waste my time and that she had a boyfriend within about a minute. Wasn’t that interested I saved the witty comeback for myself. I did tell her the good ones are always taken and then wished her the best of luck in her relationship before chasing down the wingman.
Enjoy the weekend fellas!
Last night, I was sitting in the corridor outside Serena's apartment while she hastily cleaned up (to make a good first impression on me regarding her cleanliness) and I decided to update the journal when I returned home. I got in about an hour or two ago and so I am typing this up while I can.
Some of you may have noticed that I have been posting approaches here lately. I have recently started approaching more often on the streets and so instead of updating this journal with five fruitless conversations and one conversation that could go somewhere, I'll post all initial approaches in that thread and then swing it into this journal if it has good potential or something positive comes of the interaction.
Speaking of potential from interactions, me and Serena have been on a handful of dates since my last update. From trying new foods among thousands at The Taste of Chicago, laying in the grass of a deserted Millennium Park at night, or sitting along the Chicago River walkway, watching the water wade without worriment, we have gotten to know each other better.
Yesterday, we went to the Art Institute of Chicago and took a gander at some paintings. It was actually the first time I have been in an Fine Arts setting like that on a date. The only artists on display that I had heard of previously were Claude Monet and Jackson Pollack. Even then, I had only heard their names in passing but never seen their works or had any intentions of seeing them.
To be honest, I am not a huge fan of most art/paintings because I find it too subjective... mostly just a gathering of well-to-doers with nothing-to-do... save for fleshing out their insecurities and life struggles into whatever art is on display.
I suppose in honesty, that is main point of art, to see yourself in the other, but I feel like the 'art-gallery' setting is akin to the psychiatrists in the movies with their devoid-of-meaning ink blots on a card... The psychiatrist asks the subject what they see in the card and then listen to the subject project their (sub-conscious) thoughts onto the nonsensical, ink-stained card. The ideas people come up with is ridiculous at times.
With that said, I think art galleries or places were you can discuss art is an absolute GOLDMINE when it comes to figuring out exactly what you need to know about a woman. Listening to Serena's interpretations of the art on display just reinforced things she had already told me or I had already guessed about her. The paintings she felt drawn to or passionate about were always the ones that allowed her to indirectly express some key character trait about herself.
All in all, the Art Institute was a good experience even though I won't be signing up for a membership and buy cheese and wine wholesale at Costco anytime soon. I still believe Art on display is made as ambiguous and vague as possible for people to throw their own lives into the art, but I did see a couple paintings that I liked.
After the Art Institute, we sat on the steps and chatted and people-gazed for a bit. Then we hit up this English Pub/Restaurant, had a drink or two and then strolled around downtown for a bit before I invited myself to her place. It was one of those situations where I know she wouldn't mind me coming over but if I waited for her to ask, it would be a month or two down the road at the earliest.
In fact, with Serena I have been taking charge throughout, like planning when to hang out, deciding what to do, where we go afterwards, when to call it a night, etc. I am taking control and freeing her of responsibility and I can see why I should have been doing this all along. Things just fall into place when you take control in any kind of relationship
At her place we watched a DVD we had both seen multiple times, not because it was that great but because she doesn't have cable or internet. She does have a huge stack of books though, I can dig that. Before long we were fooling around About an hour or two later, I passed out.
I awoke feeling cold from sleeping on top of the covers, and also I had that uneasy feeling when you wake up in a place that is not home. This was around 6 in the morning I suppose. From there, I took a piss, looked out the window aimlessly for about 30 seconds, then woke Serena up to say goodbye and left. I decided to leave early partially because my breath stank and also because I didn't want to have some awkward breakfast together, but mostly because I want to watch the Germany vs Argentina football game.
Regarding Serena and I, it is a weird situation. I have never met someone who enjoys the same things I do and looks at life in a similar matter. With that said, something is off between us.
Although our outlooks and beliefs rival each others handsomely; how we relate these ideals to the world and more importantly to each other, is extremely different. There might be a potential long term relationship in our cards but I wouldn't bet on it anytime soon or at least nothing with exclusivity in it.
That's all for now, more when it happens
Some of you may have noticed that I have been posting approaches here lately. I have recently started approaching more often on the streets and so instead of updating this journal with five fruitless conversations and one conversation that could go somewhere, I'll post all initial approaches in that thread and then swing it into this journal if it has good potential or something positive comes of the interaction.
Speaking of potential from interactions, me and Serena have been on a handful of dates since my last update. From trying new foods among thousands at The Taste of Chicago, laying in the grass of a deserted Millennium Park at night, or sitting along the Chicago River walkway, watching the water wade without worriment, we have gotten to know each other better.
Yesterday, we went to the Art Institute of Chicago and took a gander at some paintings. It was actually the first time I have been in an Fine Arts setting like that on a date. The only artists on display that I had heard of previously were Claude Monet and Jackson Pollack. Even then, I had only heard their names in passing but never seen their works or had any intentions of seeing them.
To be honest, I am not a huge fan of most art/paintings because I find it too subjective... mostly just a gathering of well-to-doers with nothing-to-do... save for fleshing out their insecurities and life struggles into whatever art is on display.
I suppose in honesty, that is main point of art, to see yourself in the other, but I feel like the 'art-gallery' setting is akin to the psychiatrists in the movies with their devoid-of-meaning ink blots on a card... The psychiatrist asks the subject what they see in the card and then listen to the subject project their (sub-conscious) thoughts onto the nonsensical, ink-stained card. The ideas people come up with is ridiculous at times.
With that said, I think art galleries or places were you can discuss art is an absolute GOLDMINE when it comes to figuring out exactly what you need to know about a woman. Listening to Serena's interpretations of the art on display just reinforced things she had already told me or I had already guessed about her. The paintings she felt drawn to or passionate about were always the ones that allowed her to indirectly express some key character trait about herself.
All in all, the Art Institute was a good experience even though I won't be signing up for a membership and buy cheese and wine wholesale at Costco anytime soon. I still believe Art on display is made as ambiguous and vague as possible for people to throw their own lives into the art, but I did see a couple paintings that I liked.
After the Art Institute, we sat on the steps and chatted and people-gazed for a bit. Then we hit up this English Pub/Restaurant, had a drink or two and then strolled around downtown for a bit before I invited myself to her place. It was one of those situations where I know she wouldn't mind me coming over but if I waited for her to ask, it would be a month or two down the road at the earliest.
In fact, with Serena I have been taking charge throughout, like planning when to hang out, deciding what to do, where we go afterwards, when to call it a night, etc. I am taking control and freeing her of responsibility and I can see why I should have been doing this all along. Things just fall into place when you take control in any kind of relationship
At her place we watched a DVD we had both seen multiple times, not because it was that great but because she doesn't have cable or internet. She does have a huge stack of books though, I can dig that. Before long we were fooling around About an hour or two later, I passed out.
I awoke feeling cold from sleeping on top of the covers, and also I had that uneasy feeling when you wake up in a place that is not home. This was around 6 in the morning I suppose. From there, I took a piss, looked out the window aimlessly for about 30 seconds, then woke Serena up to say goodbye and left. I decided to leave early partially because my breath stank and also because I didn't want to have some awkward breakfast together, but mostly because I want to watch the Germany vs Argentina football game.
Regarding Serena and I, it is a weird situation. I have never met someone who enjoys the same things I do and looks at life in a similar matter. With that said, something is off between us.
Although our outlooks and beliefs rival each others handsomely; how we relate these ideals to the world and more importantly to each other, is extremely different. There might be a potential long term relationship in our cards but I wouldn't bet on it anytime soon or at least nothing with exclusivity in it.
That's all for now, more when it happens
It's over between me and Serena.
Last week she hit me up to hang out and I agreed but lately I have been thinking a lot about the situation. I was feeling unmotivated/guilty about even going after other women knowing how much she would/will/has fall(en) for me and I hadn't left the house to meet new women all week.
It would make sense if I were head over heels about Serena but leading up to our date, I was not especially looking forward to hanging out with her. I didn't catch myself thinking about her randomly like I normally do when I am digging someone. With all this stuff swirling in my head, I knew I couldn't push things any further.
So Saturday afternoon rolls around. I'll skip the details of the five hours we spent together through brunch and a foreign film and fast forward to the end of the date. I overlooked her hesitation at my ending of the date but then she stopped while walking down the subway steps, looks at me then looks away shyly and asks me "Where do we stand?"
Crap.
At first I told her that I would like to be friends and if something else happens then fine but if not that is cool too. Then I thought about pitching the idea of being a plate to her before realizing that she is too giving and marriage material-esque to be a plate without getting attached so I balked on the plate idea and told her LJBFs.
She asked what I wanted: a FWB, a fling, a relationship or whatever. I told her that I am not looking for monogamy right now and she kinda offered NSA sex but I declined. She already likes me too much and sleeping with her will only make thing worse. I had to pull the trigger now rather than later. Sucks that it came out the way it did and it probably blindsided her coz things probably seemed to be going well from her perspective. I feel kinda bad about not managing her expectations, I will work on that for future relationships.
Back to the drawing board. I need to figure out what exactly I want in a relationship. Back to having fun until then.
Deuces fellas
Last week she hit me up to hang out and I agreed but lately I have been thinking a lot about the situation. I was feeling unmotivated/guilty about even going after other women knowing how much she would/will/has fall(en) for me and I hadn't left the house to meet new women all week.
It would make sense if I were head over heels about Serena but leading up to our date, I was not especially looking forward to hanging out with her. I didn't catch myself thinking about her randomly like I normally do when I am digging someone. With all this stuff swirling in my head, I knew I couldn't push things any further.
So Saturday afternoon rolls around. I'll skip the details of the five hours we spent together through brunch and a foreign film and fast forward to the end of the date. I overlooked her hesitation at my ending of the date but then she stopped while walking down the subway steps, looks at me then looks away shyly and asks me "Where do we stand?"
Crap.
At first I told her that I would like to be friends and if something else happens then fine but if not that is cool too. Then I thought about pitching the idea of being a plate to her before realizing that she is too giving and marriage material-esque to be a plate without getting attached so I balked on the plate idea and told her LJBFs.
She asked what I wanted: a FWB, a fling, a relationship or whatever. I told her that I am not looking for monogamy right now and she kinda offered NSA sex but I declined. She already likes me too much and sleeping with her will only make thing worse. I had to pull the trigger now rather than later. Sucks that it came out the way it did and it probably blindsided her coz things probably seemed to be going well from her perspective. I feel kinda bad about not managing her expectations, I will work on that for future relationships.
Back to the drawing board. I need to figure out what exactly I want in a relationship. Back to having fun until then.
Deuces fellas
Went out to work on some day game with sigma335 yesterday. He hollered at this sexy chick that we previously saw in Nordstroms giving her number to another dude like an hour earlier. Obviously she was in high demand haha. Ballsy approach.
There has been a big hubbub on North Michigan Ave the past couple of days as the street has been cordoned off because they are shooting part of Transformers 3 there. They are wrapping up the shoot with the conclusion of the weekend but for the last few days of shooting, there have been a plethora of people congregating on the already overpopulated Magnificient Mile of stores.
Everyone is there idly snapping pictures and trying to shimmy into a restricted area under false pretenses to sneak a peak at a celebrity. Sigma335 actually spotted Tyrese walking off the set as he saw the big group of women and heard the cheering in the area.
The manly side of me wanted to act cool and continue leaning against the wall looking for hotties but another part wanted to take a pic for Facebook. I couldn't get a clear shot of Tyrese so I guess the manly side kinda won but it was by default. I did hear a random cellphone conversation that made me laugh:
Girl on cellphone to an uninterested party: No no, you don't understand, he was so close I actually touched his hand! Aaaahhhhhhh!!!!1
While posted up in the area, scoping the scene for Chicago chickitas, one girl caught my eye. Cute face, medium-to-dark complexion and the body was pretty damn nice as well. She was wearing a polka-dot dress that flaunted her ample breast to compliment her otherwise thin, toned frame.
Originally Sigma335 was going warm up on her and get into a rhythm, but he couldn't get to her through the crowd that was basically at a standstill, save for an select few impatient persons.
After about five minutes, I see the girl heading back in my direction while Sigma is stuck in the crowd and has his attention elsewhere. I try to get some eye contact as she walks past me but it is inconclusive. Fvck it, I grab my balls after a second or two of hesitation and chase her down.
There is something liberating about chasing down a woman that you know you are going to approach once you catch up to her. I guess it is kinda like climbing the mountain in a "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" kinda way. 'The fun is in the doing or the knowledge of the doing' kinda thing. Probably release beta-enorphins or some sh!t I fell asleep on in Health class.
Anyways, I got to her as she was walking down the steps of Nordstrom and opened her. She gave me a big smile when I started talking so I had a feeling it was going to go smoothly.
This approach was actually one of the more free flowing approaches I've had in recent memory. I stopped trying to turn everything into a joke and instead just had a normal conversation with a couple humorous statements thrown in here and there.
We touched on school, future plans, hobbies, jobs, etc. I steered clear of relationships for a change because I don't think I have been doing myself any good talking about the too popular: men vs women vs relationships conundrum.
We talked continuously as we walked through blocks of downtown Chicago, stood at stoplights or as we gazed in storefront windows in passing. After a while, she picked a bench for us to sit and wait for her friend and so we sat there for five minutes. I was running out conversation topics because taking relationship-talk out of the equation took a big chunk of my autopilot with it, and so there was a couple seconds of quiet here or there but nothing major.
She asked me if I wanted her number and asked me to call her so that she would have mines. Then she was like, "Okay so how does this work? Are you gonna call me? Should I call you or...." I told her that either one works and then we hugged and parted ways.
Sounds solid to me. Back with more when it happens
There has been a big hubbub on North Michigan Ave the past couple of days as the street has been cordoned off because they are shooting part of Transformers 3 there. They are wrapping up the shoot with the conclusion of the weekend but for the last few days of shooting, there have been a plethora of people congregating on the already overpopulated Magnificient Mile of stores.
Everyone is there idly snapping pictures and trying to shimmy into a restricted area under false pretenses to sneak a peak at a celebrity. Sigma335 actually spotted Tyrese walking off the set as he saw the big group of women and heard the cheering in the area.
The manly side of me wanted to act cool and continue leaning against the wall looking for hotties but another part wanted to take a pic for Facebook. I couldn't get a clear shot of Tyrese so I guess the manly side kinda won but it was by default. I did hear a random cellphone conversation that made me laugh:
Girl on cellphone to an uninterested party: No no, you don't understand, he was so close I actually touched his hand! Aaaahhhhhhh!!!!1
While posted up in the area, scoping the scene for Chicago chickitas, one girl caught my eye. Cute face, medium-to-dark complexion and the body was pretty damn nice as well. She was wearing a polka-dot dress that flaunted her ample breast to compliment her otherwise thin, toned frame.
Originally Sigma335 was going warm up on her and get into a rhythm, but he couldn't get to her through the crowd that was basically at a standstill, save for an select few impatient persons.
After about five minutes, I see the girl heading back in my direction while Sigma is stuck in the crowd and has his attention elsewhere. I try to get some eye contact as she walks past me but it is inconclusive. Fvck it, I grab my balls after a second or two of hesitation and chase her down.
There is something liberating about chasing down a woman that you know you are going to approach once you catch up to her. I guess it is kinda like climbing the mountain in a "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" kinda way. 'The fun is in the doing or the knowledge of the doing' kinda thing. Probably release beta-enorphins or some sh!t I fell asleep on in Health class.
Anyways, I got to her as she was walking down the steps of Nordstrom and opened her. She gave me a big smile when I started talking so I had a feeling it was going to go smoothly.
This approach was actually one of the more free flowing approaches I've had in recent memory. I stopped trying to turn everything into a joke and instead just had a normal conversation with a couple humorous statements thrown in here and there.
We touched on school, future plans, hobbies, jobs, etc. I steered clear of relationships for a change because I don't think I have been doing myself any good talking about the too popular: men vs women vs relationships conundrum.
We talked continuously as we walked through blocks of downtown Chicago, stood at stoplights or as we gazed in storefront windows in passing. After a while, she picked a bench for us to sit and wait for her friend and so we sat there for five minutes. I was running out conversation topics because taking relationship-talk out of the equation took a big chunk of my autopilot with it, and so there was a couple seconds of quiet here or there but nothing major.
She asked me if I wanted her number and asked me to call her so that she would have mines. Then she was like, "Okay so how does this work? Are you gonna call me? Should I call you or...." I told her that either one works and then we hugged and parted ways.
Sounds solid to me. Back with more when it happens
T From CA
Don Juan
Good stuff man. I'm actually trying to work on my day game also because I don't care too much for the night club/bar scene.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
iqqi
Master Don Juan
You should've had a nearby lounge in mind, and told her to meet you there later in the evening, buddy. Strike while the irons hot, and the bacon is asking to be sizzled.
Hey Iqqi. Well she is 19 so a lounge is not applicable to this situation. I do agree that I need some kind of continuation-plan, like an spur-of-the-moment date in the near future if things are going well. She essentially told me her night was going to be uneventful before asking me what I was getting into. After the fact, I realized that was a potential opportunity to hang out but I hadn't being looking for it so it passed me by.
Anyways its all just backwards rationalization now. I texted her to hangout and she told me she will let me know when the rest of her friends are getting together? Uhhhh wtf? I didn't text her for a week and then I hit her up to get to add me to FB but she hasn't responded to that. If the friendly 'hangout' ever materializes I won't be looking to prove anything or show her up. I'll just check for any cute friends she has that are interested in being more than friends. I can't even remember her face but I do remember it was cute. Maybe I'll hit on her again if I see her out, not knowing it is her. It wouldn't be the first time.
On Friday I went out to this Printer's Ball. The website I saw advertised it as an annual get-together for people in the poetry and literature scene. It was a new environment for me as they had stacks of magazines at like ten unmanned display tables. If you liked what you saw, you just picked up a magazine and started reading it or saved it for later. It felt like a cross between an art gallery, a conference at a hotel and a singles bar.
The crowd was decent, I would say predominantly hipster now that I finally understand the meaning of the word and like to use it to prove my assimilation into middle-class America. I saw a few ladies that caught my eye. The biggest blip on my radar was a woman that looked to be in her late 20s - early 30s. The ironic thing is that I had saw her earlier that day while I was exiting the Public library on State. When we crossed paths earlier, she did a quick glance back and I contemplated approaching but didn't pull the trigger.
The event took place on the first, second, and tenth floors of Columbia College on Wabash. This is coincidentally the same place I met Ciara but I was not really worried about bumping into her at her school. I was more self-conscious about being solo than anything else. I still have to get used to social events were people strive to be social and talkative. I think once I get more experience, I can own this scene. Anyways, everyone seemed to be mingling except for me. However, they did have free open bar so I knocked a couple back to salvage something out of the night.
After being at the ball for an hour and some ticks, I realized the night could have been renamed literary minds for the non-straight guy. There was a big gay turnout there, which in retrospect is probably to be expected at any event with the word ball in it. I had to limit my wonderin eyes because they would always seem to come across an all-too-willing male participant, smh.
To top that off, The Printer's Ball had this interview show where one guy is in drag the entire time. If your gaydar isn't starting to make a little noise yet, one of the panelist interviewed was the creator of the queer-comic 'Gaylord Phoenix', a story about a gay bird in the desert that feels the need to kill after homosexual experiences. (I cannot make this **** up)
While in the auditorium listening to the author discussing the randomness of her comic, (with pictures of the Gaybird on all fours getting plowed by a fellow gay-animal-of-the-desert to boot) the woman I saw earlier in the day caught my eye again. She was sitting about 3 seats from the end of the aisle. Because of the limited seating, I stood in the aisle, along with a couple others, while I brainstormed how to approach the situation. I decided to just waiting for an opportunity and strike.
When I saw her grab her bags to go, flashes of my approach of Ciara seemed like the natural thing to do. As she started walking towards the exit, I was in heavy pursuit... I was thinking of saying something like "Didn't I see you at the library earlier..." but beyond that I was in no man's land. That was all I could conjured up in the 30 minutes of waiting. Damn you, open bar.
However, as fate would have it, right when she is exiting the lecture hall, she crosses paths with another guy, smiles, and makes a comment that tied into a thread they must have had earlier in the night. I get spooked and hightail it out of there. Killed my night and my interest in staying at the spot any longer. All that build up and then the anticlimactic finish drained me and it probably was a drain reading it as well, lol.
I had to redeem myself so I had an eye for talent as soon as I got on the train-ride home. There was one girl who was okay. Nothing special. I gave her some eye contact and then she shrugged her shoulders and smiled as if to say, "So what are you gonna do?"
I smiled and then went back to texting on my phone for about a minute before I realized I had an easy open three-pointer and went in for conversation and subsequent easy digits. She is not 100% my type but I need to get in the rhythm of having multiple dates and women @ my beck and call anyways.
Chasing women hasn't been on the agenda as much as usual here of late, primarily because I have been preoccupied with activities that don't require me leaving the house recently. That approach was a step in the right direction to jump start my socializing again.
Oh and good luck with your journal T from CA... I think I saw that you have one going? I think the tides are turning on SoSuave. There is still a lot of bullsh!t but there are also more active journals than I have seen since I joined the site. More people doing and showing others that it is possible. Keep it up guys!
That's it for now. More when it happens. Deuces
Anyways its all just backwards rationalization now. I texted her to hangout and she told me she will let me know when the rest of her friends are getting together? Uhhhh wtf? I didn't text her for a week and then I hit her up to get to add me to FB but she hasn't responded to that. If the friendly 'hangout' ever materializes I won't be looking to prove anything or show her up. I'll just check for any cute friends she has that are interested in being more than friends. I can't even remember her face but I do remember it was cute. Maybe I'll hit on her again if I see her out, not knowing it is her. It wouldn't be the first time.
On Friday I went out to this Printer's Ball. The website I saw advertised it as an annual get-together for people in the poetry and literature scene. It was a new environment for me as they had stacks of magazines at like ten unmanned display tables. If you liked what you saw, you just picked up a magazine and started reading it or saved it for later. It felt like a cross between an art gallery, a conference at a hotel and a singles bar.
The crowd was decent, I would say predominantly hipster now that I finally understand the meaning of the word and like to use it to prove my assimilation into middle-class America. I saw a few ladies that caught my eye. The biggest blip on my radar was a woman that looked to be in her late 20s - early 30s. The ironic thing is that I had saw her earlier that day while I was exiting the Public library on State. When we crossed paths earlier, she did a quick glance back and I contemplated approaching but didn't pull the trigger.
The event took place on the first, second, and tenth floors of Columbia College on Wabash. This is coincidentally the same place I met Ciara but I was not really worried about bumping into her at her school. I was more self-conscious about being solo than anything else. I still have to get used to social events were people strive to be social and talkative. I think once I get more experience, I can own this scene. Anyways, everyone seemed to be mingling except for me. However, they did have free open bar so I knocked a couple back to salvage something out of the night.
After being at the ball for an hour and some ticks, I realized the night could have been renamed literary minds for the non-straight guy. There was a big gay turnout there, which in retrospect is probably to be expected at any event with the word ball in it. I had to limit my wonderin eyes because they would always seem to come across an all-too-willing male participant, smh.
To top that off, The Printer's Ball had this interview show where one guy is in drag the entire time. If your gaydar isn't starting to make a little noise yet, one of the panelist interviewed was the creator of the queer-comic 'Gaylord Phoenix', a story about a gay bird in the desert that feels the need to kill after homosexual experiences. (I cannot make this **** up)
While in the auditorium listening to the author discussing the randomness of her comic, (with pictures of the Gaybird on all fours getting plowed by a fellow gay-animal-of-the-desert to boot) the woman I saw earlier in the day caught my eye again. She was sitting about 3 seats from the end of the aisle. Because of the limited seating, I stood in the aisle, along with a couple others, while I brainstormed how to approach the situation. I decided to just waiting for an opportunity and strike.
When I saw her grab her bags to go, flashes of my approach of Ciara seemed like the natural thing to do. As she started walking towards the exit, I was in heavy pursuit... I was thinking of saying something like "Didn't I see you at the library earlier..." but beyond that I was in no man's land. That was all I could conjured up in the 30 minutes of waiting. Damn you, open bar.
However, as fate would have it, right when she is exiting the lecture hall, she crosses paths with another guy, smiles, and makes a comment that tied into a thread they must have had earlier in the night. I get spooked and hightail it out of there. Killed my night and my interest in staying at the spot any longer. All that build up and then the anticlimactic finish drained me and it probably was a drain reading it as well, lol.
I had to redeem myself so I had an eye for talent as soon as I got on the train-ride home. There was one girl who was okay. Nothing special. I gave her some eye contact and then she shrugged her shoulders and smiled as if to say, "So what are you gonna do?"
I smiled and then went back to texting on my phone for about a minute before I realized I had an easy open three-pointer and went in for conversation and subsequent easy digits. She is not 100% my type but I need to get in the rhythm of having multiple dates and women @ my beck and call anyways.
Chasing women hasn't been on the agenda as much as usual here of late, primarily because I have been preoccupied with activities that don't require me leaving the house recently. That approach was a step in the right direction to jump start my socializing again.
Oh and good luck with your journal T from CA... I think I saw that you have one going? I think the tides are turning on SoSuave. There is still a lot of bullsh!t but there are also more active journals than I have seen since I joined the site. More people doing and showing others that it is possible. Keep it up guys!
That's it for now. More when it happens. Deuces
Hey mac I've got a question. Are you going to the clubs by yourself most of the time? That's what I'm doing this weekend, I was wondering if it matters or not. Walking around the club for a couple hours dancing with random people, yet your by yourself?
Basically does it matter or is it a non-issue to chicks?
Basically does it matter or is it a non-issue to chicks?
Sorry if this reply is a little late. I do go solo to the club. A lot of people will ask 'who you are here with?' but it doesn't really matter as long as you are cool with it.TIC said:
As long as you are not insecure about it or act overly secure about it, people don't really care. It is simply a default question in the setting, kinda like, "What do you do for a living" at a social function. People don't necessarily care what you do, but it is just filler for feeling each other out. They may have preconceived notions based on your answer, but if you show that you are unfazed, their beliefs will crumble.
Also, moving towards guaranteed interactions initially in the night detracts the negative inner voice in your head. Go out of your way to get served by the talkative bouncer, make a funny remark to the drunk girls in the line, ask the bartender what the drink specials are, etc.
Alright fellas. I haven't been chasing skirts too tough the past couple weeks so I haven't been here as much either. Still job hunting. Yesterday I went to the local college and signed up for four classes. Then I realized I was bullsh!tting and dropped down to the two classes that actually interested me. However, I will drop those two classes as well if I get a job I am heavily interested in.
After going through that stressful process, I caught the train home. While waiting for the bus, I saw a cutie. Short hair and defined facial features... kinda like Amber Rose when she was dating Kanye. She had on some leggings and boots. Cute. The top was the eye catching part though... she had on a wife beater and a bra and they showed her great breasts.
There is nothing to do really at the bus stop so I just decide to stare at her. Maybe it is because I am cute/confident but this tends to gauge interest well altho it has creeped women out before.
Our eyes met for a second or two, and then she looked away. After a couple seconds she looked back and saw that I hadn't stopped looking at her the entire time. Then she kinda feigned interest in fixing the straps on her purse or looking at the bus stop across the street. I think I can tell when I woman is irritated by my attention and when she is genuinely thrown off her thought process because she is nervous or thinking about it so much and I believe it was the latter in this case.
We get on the packed bus and we end up standing next to each other in the aisle. The bus driver keeps yelling for passengers to move to the back and no one is doing it so I decide to move to the back so that others can get on.
As I walk past the girl, I place my hand on the small of her back for maybe a second longer than needed because... well there was no reason I just wanted to do that. She ends up getting a seat but I can still see her from the back of the bus where I am standing. Our eyes meet one more time before she looks away and starts concentrating on a billboard on the bus about free loans.
So anyways, the bus comes to my stop and the bus is still at capacity. I start moving my way to get off but the line isn't budging. The bus starts moving again so I shout to the bus driver to hold on because I am coming off.
Here, the girl I was checking out stands up and makes for the exit as well. She was making no interest in getting off the bus until she saw that I was getting off. I knew it was pretty much an open 3 after that.
So I get off the bus and open her immediately. For about a minute or two we stand on the corner of the street near the bus stop and talk. Then I found out she lives in the area so I tell her I will walk her to her house to continue the conversation. I knew the number was guaranteed so after the slow walk to her house, I decided to go for a date that same day. I am hoping to make for a more lasting initial impression because my 2nd to last approach fizzled out by not striking when the iron was hot. This time, I went out on a limb and invited Renee to see a movie with me later on in the day...
Renee says that she is doing absolutely nothing and is free to come with me. I hug her, tell her I'll talk to her later and walk to my house. She texts me about 30 mins later asking if I got home safe and then we text back and forth a bit before it fizzles out.
The time for us to go movies approaches and I text Renee with no response. I start getting those iron butterflies in my stomach. It wasn't that I was head over heels with her, it was more that I seem to have a riddle in front of me and its name is 'woman'. Whenever I think I solve the puzzle, I learn that there are more pieces that I forgot to include.
However, she calls me right when I start to chalk the situation to being unlucky. Renee tells me she fell asleep and that she is going to start getting ready. I meet her at her house about 30 mins later and we head off to the movies. I pay for her ticket and a medium popcorn to share. I've been thinking about paying for dates and have started potentially changing my stance. What is $10-20 in the long run? The gesture actually runs contrary to the norm for the girls that I go after because out here, everybody wants to be a player.
I think women can pick up that I am not the type of guy to be making it rain simply because you have a vagina so I don't feel like a mark treating a woman. I think the idea of moving towards romancing requires me to make the bolder, first moves and then slow the pursuit and let her chase me for a while.
We got there too late to see Inception but we did catch The Other Guys which was funnier than I thought it would be. Previews didn't really do it justice. I walk her back to her house but she wasn't ready to home at 12:30. I take her to my spot but I don't want to go in and have family members b!tching, so I grab some chairs and drinks and park it on the lawn. I really need my own spot FYI. She starts complaining about being bitten by mosquitoes so we head into the cluttered garage, smh.
The conversation was cool, we talked til about 2am before I decided to walk her home. Lots of sexual talk/tension but she simultaneously talked about guys rushing too fast and always wanted sex with her. Normally I would have plowed through and started trying to kiss her but nor, regarding mixed signals, it is best to be inactive until the signals clear up. I learned that from watching the markets. Plus, I have whipped my d!ck out on plenty first dates so I don't feel the need to prove my masculinity by first date kisses so much anymore.
More when it happens.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.