"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Windy City Chronicles
- Thread starter macallik
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Hey fellas, hit me up and I'll pm you my number and we can hit up a club or something.
The past week or so has been slow. Don't get me wrong, I have been focused on exams but it only takes a minute to approach. I do still walk up and down the streets or take long routes wherever I go to try and will an opportunity to happen but nothing as of late. I need to approach the first girl instead of waiting to think of something witty or for me to be feeling super confident.
Haven't been reading much of anything at SoSuave or anywhere else for that matter. It is so negative here it is kinda depressing, if I threw in my two cents for ever piece of bitter advice doled out here I would reach my post limit daily. The only thing I am actually reading (or rereading) is an oldie but goodie, Rushing Dude's journal. His style is similar to mines and he has oodles of field experience that made him get good quickly. Some of the issues I am having now that I didn't have before, he had in his journal and his theory is always spot on.
Hmmm.. What else. I went to the club yesterday and grabbed some digits, nothing really noteworthy was said, likely a flake. Was too tipsy to game her. The name was Kim. I think she said she has a baby and lives with her baby daddy. What a winner.
The past week or so has been slow. Don't get me wrong, I have been focused on exams but it only takes a minute to approach. I do still walk up and down the streets or take long routes wherever I go to try and will an opportunity to happen but nothing as of late. I need to approach the first girl instead of waiting to think of something witty or for me to be feeling super confident.
Haven't been reading much of anything at SoSuave or anywhere else for that matter. It is so negative here it is kinda depressing, if I threw in my two cents for ever piece of bitter advice doled out here I would reach my post limit daily. The only thing I am actually reading (or rereading) is an oldie but goodie, Rushing Dude's journal. His style is similar to mines and he has oodles of field experience that made him get good quickly. Some of the issues I am having now that I didn't have before, he had in his journal and his theory is always spot on.
Hmmm.. What else. I went to the club yesterday and grabbed some digits, nothing really noteworthy was said, likely a flake. Was too tipsy to game her. The name was Kim. I think she said she has a baby and lives with her baby daddy. What a winner.
Joe Stud
Master Don Juan
Macallik: You always go above & beyond. Nice of you to help out the Brotherhood. My compliments sir. + rep
^^^Awfully nice of you to say, thanks.
Allllrighty then. I've wrapped up yet another school semester and subsequently I am back in the throes of life. Angst and/from freedom, back after a brief respite. Do I want a job? Where do I want to work? Should I volunteer for references, help the community and meet people simultaneously? How about read up on the stocks and delve into options to understand finances better? Or maybe Summer Classes so I can attain my degree quicker? Once again, my canvas is blank and I have a hell of a lot of colors on my palette.
I have made one choice that will impact the next couple of days at least. In my suitcase, I have around 6 days of clothing and a used copy of Steppenwolf, begging to be read by its new owner.
My friends called, bored from the 9-5 life back home, and Vegas answered. I swear The Hangover is singlehandedly responsible for millions of dollars in revenue to Vegas amongst males aged 21-34. Vegas isn't very high on my list of places to visit as say Ibiza, England, mostly anywhere in Europe actually, or a World Cup game in South Africa (one can always hope) but time with friends in a hedonistic environment like LV should be an interesting, intoxicated, introspective hoot.
I'll be back in Chicago sometime next week. Deuces
Allllrighty then. I've wrapped up yet another school semester and subsequently I am back in the throes of life. Angst and/from freedom, back after a brief respite. Do I want a job? Where do I want to work? Should I volunteer for references, help the community and meet people simultaneously? How about read up on the stocks and delve into options to understand finances better? Or maybe Summer Classes so I can attain my degree quicker? Once again, my canvas is blank and I have a hell of a lot of colors on my palette.
I have made one choice that will impact the next couple of days at least. In my suitcase, I have around 6 days of clothing and a used copy of Steppenwolf, begging to be read by its new owner.
My friends called, bored from the 9-5 life back home, and Vegas answered. I swear The Hangover is singlehandedly responsible for millions of dollars in revenue to Vegas amongst males aged 21-34. Vegas isn't very high on my list of places to visit as say Ibiza, England, mostly anywhere in Europe actually, or a World Cup game in South Africa (one can always hope) but time with friends in a hedonistic environment like LV should be an interesting, intoxicated, introspective hoot.
I'll be back in Chicago sometime next week. Deuces
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Loving the stories.
If you want to keep things running liquid and open, just remain mysterious and dont adress the issue. This will only make her more interested and keen to bend to your will. It is assumed 'open' untill declared 'exclusive'. And maybe the time will come after a few months that you decide to get yourself a 'relationship', you never know playa.
Its easier to leave it ambigious than to make your intentions known when it comes to plates.
Setting up an open relationship was unnecesery since its open untill declared exclusive, and it isnt an issue untill she brings it up. The way you described it reminded me of a podcast i once listened to of 'player supreme', about spitting your intentions clearly and up front. While i am a fan of his style, i am not on this issue. You seemed too keen, combined with bad delivery, it killed the momentum. I love your style, but i think you could use a bit more bad-ass attitude when it comes to the hooking up and dating.
If you want to keep things running liquid and open, just remain mysterious and dont adress the issue. This will only make her more interested and keen to bend to your will. It is assumed 'open' untill declared 'exclusive'. And maybe the time will come after a few months that you decide to get yourself a 'relationship', you never know playa.
Its easier to leave it ambigious than to make your intentions known when it comes to plates.
Vegas
Wednesday
On the shuttle bus to my hotel, it was just me and the driver and I chatted with her and she told me places to visit but after experiencing Vegas, she obviously was too old to know what anyone under 40 did in the city. After I got to my hotel (Hooters) and was extremely unimpressed with the physical attractiveness of the girl who checked me in, I went upstairs and checked out my room. It has been a minute since I have had a place to bring girls back to so I was hoping to make the best of it.
My friends weren't scheduled to arrive until the next day so it was just me that night. I didn't make it to any club atmosphere and barely got on the real strip because I was both lost and drunk, in relatively no time at all.
I managed to text my friend who has been to Vegas multiple times and he recommended that I go hotel to hotel since I got in too late for clubbing. That was the start of a random night that consisted of mostly highway barriers hopping and urinating in various hotel casino restrooms. I started at Hooters hotel but everyone there looked seedy so I left quickly. I traipsed my drunk ass over to MGM Grand next , and had a drink in the bar/lounge section. There, I saw two cute, older African American girls but they were with some suit and tie +50 year olds who were clearly paying for their company in one way or another. I went up to one of them and she was so cold and uninterested that I just asked her if she wants me to walk away and she told me yes matter-of-factedly.
Next on the list was Tropicana but it was nothing of substance that I saw in there. After doing a walk through of Tropicana, I went to the the casino section of New York New York next and saw this cute n slim girlie with a milk chocolate complexion. I sat down next to her and started conversation whilst talking discover she is an escort. Never met one of those before.
The conversation was decent until I got another beer in me and started blabbering. I think somewhere between mistakenly calling her a hooker repeatedly, asking how much she charges and me giving her advice on how to make more money as an escort, she got irritated and changed seats. Oh well, at least I talked to her for free, some guys have to pay for that as well.
I strolled to another Casino after this - the name eludes me - and there was a woman that I saw playing the slots that was cute. She ended up being French but luckily the language barrier was no match for my drunkenness. Things were going ok but I was going for broke since it was Vegas, so I wanted to be as straightforward as possible but I forgot the phrase 'Voulez-vous couchez avec moi c'est soir' and didn't know how to turn the convo sexual without reaching across my stool and groping her. She ejected after 5-10 mins convo.
In the same casino - I believe... it is all a blur - there was a girl I went up to in Spanish through some drunken, ill-advised, decision making. She quickly made up an excuse about friends and left after about 1 minute and 30 seconds.
After this, I was ready to call it a night because it was getting harder and harder to find women worth approaching. I was hitting all the hotel casinos on the walk back to Hooters hotel and while in the MGM Casino, I saw a black girl walking solo looking semi-lost. She came up and asked me where the restrooms were. I had no idea but I walked with her and looked. After we found them and she returned, we talked some more and then I said:
Macallik: So. Do you want to come back to my place.
Her: ....okay
So we start walking to find our way out of the casino and towards my hotel after getting lost for 5-10 minutes we find the exit. I told her my hotel was just around the corner but when I get outside I have no idea where the fvck I am. Thank you architects of the city.
Her: actually, I don't think I should go to your hotel after all, I have to get up early and blah blah blah
Here, I look her squah in the eye for a couple seconds and then say:
Macallik: Come back to my hotel for a little bit then
Her: ...okay
We walk and then she says she wants to catch a taxi instead. We head back into the casino and as we pass a restaurant she says:
Her: Buy me a drink
Macallik: no, buy yourself one
Her: *look of shock*
Her: I am not coming to your place anymore. You just totally killed my mood,blah blah blah
Macallik: What you mean? You can have a drink back at my place blah blah blah
But the damage was done, I sat her down at a slot machine and attempted to get some rapport and do damage control but she had already called her ride to pick her up so it was a wrap pretty much. Told her to text me if she wants to hang out before her flight.Stayed with her til her ride came and then walked home and got about 2 hrs sleep. Nothing beats coming out of a Casino and that bright rising Sun warns you of the sweltering desert heat soon to return.
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Thursday
After I checked in my luggage, I attempted to read some Herman Hesse but it is hard to concentrate with two hours sleep and nowhere to relax without having to purchase something. When I finally found a place, it was the waterfront of the Bellagio with my back propped against a tree, a trashcan right in front of me and a water show that sounded like small fireworks every half an hour or so.
From here, I moved to the fountain near an escalator and I think I spent at least two hours people watching. Then I spent one hour trying to un-lost myself after I felt adventuresome and the rest I have no idea what happened but I am pretty sure I blocked it out because it was so painfully slow.
Speaking of painfully slow, now that I think about it, I did go to see Death at a Funeral at a 7:10pm showing. I saw the British version and wasn't a fan but for some reason I thought the American version, even with Tracy Morgan tied to it, would be better. I can now see the lack of people there as foreshadowing of what was to come. When I got there, I was the only person in the theater and the previews had started.
By the time the movie started, there were six people there including myself. For a a handful of minutes, there was 8 in attendance at the movie, but the two teenagers that snuck into the movie stayed no more than seven minutes before walking out. I guess when it is free, you don't feel obliged to stay until the end like the unlucky 6 people who remained. The film was the exact same premise as the original except Chris Rock can't act and Kevin Hart isn't in the film long enough.
Wish I saved the $$$ so I could have lost it in Blackjack later on. As the film got closer to the end, I just got up and left because my friends texted me saying they were in Vegas and I realized the film wasn't going to get any better
I get to the hotel and catch up with the fellas and pregame like old times. After everyone fiiiiinally gets ready, we head to Tao, a nightclub in the Venetian Hotel I believe. We get inside and things are nice, they got a backroom playing rap and pop/mainstream house on the mainfloor. I could fvck with either room, but since most black girls were in the backroom, I ended up there.
I danced with one girl early on in the night and then came back for her digits later. She complimented me on my dancing. Went back and got the digits a little later. Danced with a bunch broads but not much else I can recall or worth noting.
So me and the fellas leave the club and I start doing my thing. Yall probably heard of parking lot pimping... well I don't have a car so i do sidewalk soliciting. Opened a group of four girls that had one real cute friend. Told them I wanted the digits and the cute one said no but she is going to be at club X the next night. It is Vegas so I didn't even take note of the club she said. Pass.
Next I saw a girl walking alone. I peeled away from the fellas and started waling and talking to her in the same direction. We went inside a casino afterwards and talked for about 5-6 minutes. My friends came to tell me they were making the run to grab some Dennys and asked if I wanted in. One of them was drunk and fell off of his stool in the 3 minutes it took for them to talk and leave lmao. They left shortly thereafter and the girl and I relocated deeper into the casino and chatted for about 20-30 minutes after a minute or two of the Slots. Afterwards I said lets take a walk around or something. She said she knows a little spot we can hang out and we went to a bench outside the casino and sat in between my legs.
Looking back, I should have made a move here and didn't. I got the digits and she said we can hang out tomorrow at her place since she lives in Vegas. Of course, my ass wanted to prove to myself that I was getting somewhere with the girl and the invitation wasn't enough so as we parted was and she was walking away, I chased her down and kissed her. I kissed her with my mouth open and she said I was trying to tongue her and then I explained to her I wasn't and kissed her again with my mouth open and she did not look pleased at all, lol. We parted ways again and I walked home.
Friday
Nothing worth reporting in this journal happened during the day. Just good times with the fellas and randomness. The girl who I met the night before on the strip and stole kissed from twice didn't return any texts or phone calls so I chalked that one up to making the wrong moves at the wrong time. Next time I won't be so egocentric in my approach. She gave me signs of liking a gentleman and started filling in the gaps of me as the guy she dreamed of that I could have taken cues from but instead I rushed things.
The Friday night [/FONT][FONT="]festivities [/FONT][FONT="]started off with all my friends taking too long to get ready and rushing to Club XS in a taxi to. Unfortunately one of my friends didn't have his passport on him and the bouncers didn't trust his ID so he got rejected from the club so we decided to scratch the club off the list. We ended up back at Tao which was a disappointment the second time around. It was [/FONT][FONT="]not nearly as diverse a crowd as the night before, [/FONT][FONT="]like it must've been Asian night or something. There was a group of black girls that caught my eye but I had a mean case of approach anxiety after I didn't go in even when my friend did.
As the night winded down, my friends called it a night one by one but I stuck things out until the end and danced with this cute Indian chick for about +6 songs until the night ended. She had an Indian girl friend who looked like she was getting ready to take this black guy home and so I figured lets make it two for two for interracial ONS.
Unfortunately, once the music got cut, my mind went blank and eventually some other guy came and chatted her up and she looked relieved to be saved from the awkwardness. After this I went to this joint on the strip I wouldn't be caught dead in during the day. I wanna say Rockhouse but I could be wrong. During regular business hours it has two women standing on the bar blowing whistles, dancing and singing lyrics while a man that works there stands in the street and solicit passerbys with games of beer pong and free alcohol to cute girls. It isn't that the women that work there aren't hot, it is just the joint tries too hard and looks desperate.
At night, there is no one to annoy you and it is just a regular bar apparently, I see the group of black girls in the night from earlier. I go in and talk to the less attractive one with the goal of segueing to the cuter one but it didn't quite pan out like I wanted to. Whatever, afterwards I talked to this chill married guy who was entertaining one of the girls and then the club closed.
Walked back to Caesar's and these two girls were coming out and demanded I take pictures of them. Funny stuff. The chubby less attractive one was drunk and overtly sexual but most less attractive chubby women are drunk/overtly sexual so no surprise there. The other one was cute, from one of those European countries. We talked about Vegas, their night, my night, took tons of random pictures and all. They wanted me to come with them to get drinks and take pictures at the Hard Rock Cafe but I declined repeatedly before they eventually went their own way. All in all though, I was outside of Caesar's with them for at least an hour and some change. Fun girls though.
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Saturday
After another day of fun in the sun and losing money in blackjack ($160 total for the whole trip at the $5 table) we were walking back to our spot when two girls caught my eye. I gave eye contact as usual and they did as well so I came to a stop after a few more steps and they did as well. Went in and talked to them and got the digits unfortunately they were under 21 @ 19 and 20 so I couldn't meet up with em at the club.
Based on the fact that all three of the #s I had gotten thus far hadn't panned out, I gave my phone to a friend to run game on her. He talks to girls alot through technology like FB or cell phones so he would have an advantage there and plus I needed to shower and pregame by the time I got back to the hotel.
We went out to Pure and... um... the only way I can describe it is amazing. Best club I have ever been to in my life hands down. It was a close battle with the multiple rooms I checked out when I got there. If anything the place seemed too small because there was no room to dance because the event must have had a lot of pub. or something and you could not move without spilling drink or getting drink spilled on you. However, when I ventured onward and found a rooftop terrace with about 700-1000 more patrons I was in heaven. The view there was dizzying although the liquor probably helped as well. You could see all the popular Vegas signs and just chillax in the outdoor ambiance.
As for women, I was having a good night, talking and dancing to everyone effortlessly. The notable ones was a girl who I got her BB Pin from just because I was tired of getting numbers.
It was a crazy night in general too, one dude just dropped on the floor unconscious in all likelihood thanks to some kind of illegal substance. Then he got up and everything was cool. He was out for a good 2-3 minutes though, people slapping him around and stuff but he was so far gone. Ludacris was there obviously and Floyd Pretty Boy Mayweather was in attendance as well.
The girl that was too young to party was texting me throughout the night and when the club let up she told me to bring a friend and come to her hotel but that her Mom and Aunt were in the room still so we have to go somewhere else.
The Caesar's Palace taxi cue was huuuuuge so me and my friend decided to walk to the next spot. On the walk, I saw two girls walking so i opened them and got to talking. They actually invited me and my friend to come drinking with them. Drinks at 3:30am = fvcking in my book, but I declined coz we were making a trip to some girls already. Boo @ that but I did # close.
We get to the hotel and they decide to go bowling. Things were going well til I left my cellphone on the table and the adjacent party ended up stealing it as they left. Killed my night. After that we go downstairs and chill in the lobby level, me and my girl on one couch and my boy and his girl on another. He was getting progress and I thought I was too but apparently not because when my boy went to 'go for a walk' and isolate with his girl, my girl started saying it is getting late and that they had to go to bed early and blah blah. Never in a million years did I think I would be letting the team down, lol.
I practically begged my chick to stay and so that the other two could go for a walk and I could try and get some as well but she wasn't having it. Later I found out that my boy's girl was DTF and she was gonna go show him her tits coz they were discussing the size of them and he was gonna show her his d!ck as well. FWIW, he was winging instead of needing a wing so I don't feel as bad but still, not holding up and getting the girls pulled away from a sure lay sucks ass. Plus I lost my cell phone. Gaaaaay end to a night that started off epically. Should have went with the other women for drinks
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Sunday
After losing more money in blackjack during the day, we decided on going to this club Wet Republic. Well actually, one friend decided to go so he could chase this girl that had been giving him the run around all vacation and we were too tired to fight with him by this point.
While waiting in the line, for 15 minutes we overheard that they were charging $100 on top of the cover for groups of guys to get in. On top of that, the bouncers were picking solely girls out of the lineup if you weren't in the VIP line for at least a half an hour straight. After 30 minutes, the chances of us getting in in a timely manner seemed weaker with every passing minute so we ended up in Pure again. Just the terrace open this night but it filled up rather nicely again anyways.
Had an off night in the club this time around. Pulled the trigger on a couple approaches but nothing came from them. I ended up leaving the club because there was nothing left to for me because all the girls I was interested in had rejected me or were being courted by someone else.
Hit the strip and saw a cute girl walking solo with no one talking to her or interested. Does this kind of things happen everywhere but Chicago? I swear here in the Chicago she would have multiple suitors. Anyways, I rolled up and we got to talking and she was responsive and fun. 25 year old teacher visiting Vegas with her sister but they just got in a fight. I caved and finally spent money on a girl by taking her to a burger joint in the area.
From there we kissed and things got more and more physical when we hung out in a deserted hallway with seats inbetween the bar and the hotel restaurant. Eventually I get her back to my hotel right as my roommates are all checking out for their flight back home. I had the room to myself and we fvcked.
Monday
The next morning we had to get out of the hotel by 11am. From there she went to her hotel to re-prettify herself and then we hung out until my shuttle bus left at 5pm. Great chick, caring, funny, cute, slightly insecure and neurotic. Reminds me of a leading lady in a Woody Allen film. Too bad we only had a day together.
That was my Vegas experience regarding women. It was a great experience but I couldn't live there for any extended period of time because the locals seemed so superficial and everything seemed to be based around money. Don't even get me started on the escorts, I met 2-3 before the trip was over just by chatting up cute women in passing and those dudes that hand out the mini-flyers for escorts....ugggghhh. Get the fvck away.
In Chicago, homeless/poor people are always asking for $ to stay alive but over in Vegas they are always trying to sell you something to make a living and it gets irritating quickly. People offer you beautiful company, budding musicians offer CDs, people selling bottles of water, sunglasses, tickets to shows/clubs, etc. I don't see how some of these people wake up and force themselves to get ready for work.
So to wrap things up, I talked to a lot more women than I documented in these entries both in and out of clubs. It was a fun time all around in terms of women and hanging with the fellas. Time to transition my newfound success and happiness back to Chicago where it counts.
Thanks for the feedback Ease. I feel like I used to try too hard to be bad ass and blew a lot of girls out a lot as a result in the past. For the ones that stayed, the relationships started on a shaky foundation which makes for too much drama or a lack of trust. I overcorrected myself recently and perhaps have put up with more than I should've. I am still working on finding that happy medium though. Good insight though.
I'll take into consideration your suggestion about relationship expectations. IME, the women I go after think the world is against them regarding relationships. They are expecting the bullsh!t of dudes lying about relationships, stringing girls along, being on the DL or whatever, so I am trying separate myself from the pack by being upfront and honest. I might not be as quick to draw in the future, I haven't decided yet. I do need to work on my pitch though, that is for sure
Alright, so life post-Vegas has been pretty weak thus far. I have left the house only a handful of times since I've been back, the motivation to do anything has been low lately but it should bounce back soon enough, this weather is too good not to be out and about.
One of the few times I did go out, it was to meet up with Terrisa to go dancing. She was heading to Radiostar and touched bases that she was in town. I looked on yelp and it sounded like a terrible club. I contemplated blowing it off, but I realized that I need to stop looking for perfect dates and just experience new things so I left the confines of my house around 10:30pm.
On the inbound train ride, I get text from Terrisa saying that Radiostar is having a 21 and over night, so she couldn't get in. Change of plans and the group is heading over to Club Mambo. I look it up on the new Google maps app on the BB (which is the sh!t btw) and realized I got some trekking across the city to do. She is lucky I am already out the house so I am game.
I get to the new club and it is like Mexican version of the club Secrets in Dolton, Illinois. It is partying for those too young to drink. I went out expecting to learn some ballroom moves or something but this was just a regular old club.
I get there and as usual they are going crazy on the dancefloor, doing a plethora of overtly sexual dance moves without really understanding the meaning behind their actions. Well, let me correct myself, that sounds a bit patronizing. They knew the implications and suggestiveness behind their sexual moves, but there wasn't any feeling or emotion behind their actions; it was a repetition of a fake ideal seen in music videos on youtube, a copy of a copy, a simulacrum if you will (credit Jean Baudrillard)
It hit me twice as hard when Terrisa lead me away from her friends to a dark corner and we grinded against a stage and large speaker. There was no intent or emotion behind it. It reminded me of a girl who gives head coz she feels obligated or forced instead of actually liking the experience or enjoying the interaction. She was just trying to impress me with crazy dancing to the point that we didn't even get a rhythm going.
Even though I worked up a sweat, I was honestly bored dancing with her and tapped out after a couple songs, blaming it on needing to cool out in that sweatbox they try to pass off as a club. What also sucked was when I went to get a drink. The club has an area cordoned off with glass panels where you can purchase alcoholic drinks if you are +21 but the catch is you can't leave the room with your beverage. It was like 3 guys in the entire room and so I had to rush my beer or drink alone on a couch for everyone to see.
Later on they switched the music up to the Latin ballroom and Terrisa showed me the Bachata, which was the highlight of the night even though she disappeared a short time later. After about a half an hour I got a text saying that she hopes I am not just dancing with her. I was, but whatever, no biggie. I leave her alone for the rest of the night and she dances with other dudes and 'randomly' bumps into me once or twice as I am working up the courage to approach a couple girls and congratulates me on getting my mack on, smh.
The night was pretty much a bust after that. I ended up walking back to the Blue Line station with her and her bisexual girl friends, fading in and out of the conversation as they discussed which guys/girls were cute in the club. I texted Terrisa until I went sleep but we haven't spoke since that Friday even though she is set to leave for an extended period of time shortly. To be honest, I just aint feeling her that much anymore... maybe it has to do with getting laid recently, perhaps that she seems to agree with whatever I say, or maybe the years between us creates a difference in outlooks or attitude... whatever it is, I am disinterested.
But if I get lonely and she hits me up, i'll kick it with her...
I'll take into consideration your suggestion about relationship expectations. IME, the women I go after think the world is against them regarding relationships. They are expecting the bullsh!t of dudes lying about relationships, stringing girls along, being on the DL or whatever, so I am trying separate myself from the pack by being upfront and honest. I might not be as quick to draw in the future, I haven't decided yet. I do need to work on my pitch though, that is for sure
Alright, so life post-Vegas has been pretty weak thus far. I have left the house only a handful of times since I've been back, the motivation to do anything has been low lately but it should bounce back soon enough, this weather is too good not to be out and about.
One of the few times I did go out, it was to meet up with Terrisa to go dancing. She was heading to Radiostar and touched bases that she was in town. I looked on yelp and it sounded like a terrible club. I contemplated blowing it off, but I realized that I need to stop looking for perfect dates and just experience new things so I left the confines of my house around 10:30pm.
On the inbound train ride, I get text from Terrisa saying that Radiostar is having a 21 and over night, so she couldn't get in. Change of plans and the group is heading over to Club Mambo. I look it up on the new Google maps app on the BB (which is the sh!t btw) and realized I got some trekking across the city to do. She is lucky I am already out the house so I am game.
I get to the new club and it is like Mexican version of the club Secrets in Dolton, Illinois. It is partying for those too young to drink. I went out expecting to learn some ballroom moves or something but this was just a regular old club.
I get there and as usual they are going crazy on the dancefloor, doing a plethora of overtly sexual dance moves without really understanding the meaning behind their actions. Well, let me correct myself, that sounds a bit patronizing. They knew the implications and suggestiveness behind their sexual moves, but there wasn't any feeling or emotion behind their actions; it was a repetition of a fake ideal seen in music videos on youtube, a copy of a copy, a simulacrum if you will (credit Jean Baudrillard)
It hit me twice as hard when Terrisa lead me away from her friends to a dark corner and we grinded against a stage and large speaker. There was no intent or emotion behind it. It reminded me of a girl who gives head coz she feels obligated or forced instead of actually liking the experience or enjoying the interaction. She was just trying to impress me with crazy dancing to the point that we didn't even get a rhythm going.
Even though I worked up a sweat, I was honestly bored dancing with her and tapped out after a couple songs, blaming it on needing to cool out in that sweatbox they try to pass off as a club. What also sucked was when I went to get a drink. The club has an area cordoned off with glass panels where you can purchase alcoholic drinks if you are +21 but the catch is you can't leave the room with your beverage. It was like 3 guys in the entire room and so I had to rush my beer or drink alone on a couch for everyone to see.
Later on they switched the music up to the Latin ballroom and Terrisa showed me the Bachata, which was the highlight of the night even though she disappeared a short time later. After about a half an hour I got a text saying that she hopes I am not just dancing with her. I was, but whatever, no biggie. I leave her alone for the rest of the night and she dances with other dudes and 'randomly' bumps into me once or twice as I am working up the courage to approach a couple girls and congratulates me on getting my mack on, smh.
The night was pretty much a bust after that. I ended up walking back to the Blue Line station with her and her bisexual girl friends, fading in and out of the conversation as they discussed which guys/girls were cute in the club. I texted Terrisa until I went sleep but we haven't spoke since that Friday even though she is set to leave for an extended period of time shortly. To be honest, I just aint feeling her that much anymore... maybe it has to do with getting laid recently, perhaps that she seems to agree with whatever I say, or maybe the years between us creates a difference in outlooks or attitude... whatever it is, I am disinterested.
But if I get lonely and she hits me up, i'll kick it with her...
SixthMantoMVP
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Hey all, I live Chicago and would love to meet up with you guys as well.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
SixthMantoMVP
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South Loop
I'm on the Southside but I catch CTA wherever. You guys should be out at that Belmont/Sheffiled Music Festival or the Randolph Street Market Festival today. I've got plans later today but it will be tons of women out there. 6thman2MVP I see you are doin the bootcamp and you can easily get some quick Bootcamp Hi's/convos there.
Ricky, I was wondering what happened to hanging out with ya, you went MIA. You've been here @ SS for a minute so you can probably speak on a couple things or give advice. Anyways fellas pm me your phone #s and we can grab some drinks and dirty stiiinkin broads in between gunslinging at the local saloon.
Been out Thursday and Saturday night with mixed results. On Thursday I went to Green Dolphin and talked to two girls for the entire night :-\. Didn't dance with any at all. They switched the layout of the club for a new, more intimate setting and I aint feeling it at all anymore. Plus there was a bunch of butch lesbians hollering at most of the cute girls. There is something about a bunch of lesbians going harder than you at women that throws your entire night off.
Out of the two interactions I had, neither resulted in any kind of close, attempt at closing or even extended conversation, but I found one funny.
After standing in the same spot for like an hour, already having chalked the night up as a waste and the phrase "You can't win em all" reverberating in my head, a girl comes up with this gem:
Girl: Hey. Are you okay. I see you've been standing there by yourself in the club all night. You look like the psycho nigga that stalks women and murders them when they try and break up.
*dead*
Wow. Looking back she was obviously interested if she came up and talked to me but damn. There was a slight inflection to suggest humour but that is still probably the worst opener in the history of mankind if I was insecure about being solo in the club scene.
Macallik: Hahah Wowwwww. Well it is not who you come with but who you leave with, right.
Girl: Oh yea you do got a point there. That is true...
.
.
.
Macallik: I do stab b!tches though
Girl: *look of shock then laughter* You so craazzzyyy
She stayed away from me for the rest of the night after that though.
Saturday Afternoon, Terrisa invited me to Dillo Day up NWU, or I think she did. I pocket dialed her by a mistake and she texted me back talking about Dillo Day. I googled it and then invited myself before blowing it off coz it is too far North for me and I didn't feel like being in a mosh pit or around a bunch of sweaty NWU undergrads.
Ended up going Zentra and settling for a bunch of sweaty people with misconstrued values instead. That is, of course, after watching the exciting, six-to-five, "did anyone actually tend the goals or were they just in charge of retrieving the puck from the back of the net", hockey game with the Blackhawks squeaking a W for game 1.
At the club I drank a good bit. I'm sure you all have gotten to the point where I was, where you can't focus on grinding on beat AND getting an erection at the same time. A lot of girls danced with me for like a song and then felt bored or insulted do to my lack of 'excitement' and left me hanging.
Early on in the night, two girls were standing next to me while there were little/no others on the dancefloor. I got eye contact with one and she smiled and then a minute or two later she came up to me to take a picture of them. I was hella gunshy early on and after taking the pic, I stood with my back turned to them for a couple minutes then changed locations. I was drawing a blank on what to talk about and just circumvented the whole issue like a panzy. I swear my game is like a teenage girl's sometime. I just sit there and hope the person I like makes a move, smh.
Later on, I am dancing solo and the okay looking friend is checking me out pretty hard since I can see it in my drunken peripheral. The cuter friend walks away from the guy she is grinding, walks up to me, grabs me and repositions me a couple feet over on the dancefloor, directly on her friend's booty.
We dance a couple songs and part ways. I come back in the area later in the night and the two girls are just sitting watching me, particularly the average-looking friend. I am continually dancing with other women, but for these two, now that I feel pressured/expected to act on them, I can't pull myself to do it. For the entire night, I knew that the average friend was an open three, but I got in my head for some reason.
Later on, she comes up to me as they are leaving and asks if I am around here coz my swag is different than the others and she ventures to say that I am not from Chicago because of it. Compliments will get you everywhere my dear.
I tell her where I am from and as she is leaving I tell her to take my number and give me a call. She obliges like I knew she would and calls me a couple minutes later. She is an hour outside Chicago and said to and I quote, "text/call her anytime I want to kick it." Looks like I might have my first bustdown on my hands.
Also, I grabbed what I believe are now worthless digits from this sexy, black Dubai girl celebrating her birthday in Chicago for an unknown period of time. My dumb ass does the same thing that I did with Vida and kept leaving her alone in a FVCKING CLUB so that I don't appear desperate.
When I left her, a new guy comes in and I don't get back in with her for at least 30 minutes. I get back in afterwards and things are honky dorey. The second time I left her (yes it was twice) the original guy came back and talks to her for like 40 minutes on the couch before leaving but then a new guy comes after him and proceeds to talk to her for the rest of the night and leave the club with her. Still kicking myself for that one. I need to tattoo a reminder on myself about leaving women alone in the club, Memento style.
A problem I realized in hindsight was my game was not tailored towards going anywhere with her that night. She told me she doesn't know how long she will be in town for and I still didn't pull the trigger to gun for a some same night sex. Didn't even try and kiss her even though foreheads touched, hands were on faces and we were on a couch. I have a couple useless pictures of her now. Yay.
Points to work on:
Conversation and interactions with a end result in mind: I think I had this in Vegas which is why I had more success even in terms of approaching more women. Talking to women with an idea of where I want things to go (for Vegas it was into the nearest bed) instead of just trying to make them laugh and hope they like me for that.
Stop leaving women alone in the club unless rapport is deep and it is a follow up situation guaranteed
Other than that, I just need to approach more as usual. My spring wardrobe is complimenting my confidence rather nicely. I am starting to smile at passing women instead of just undressing them in my head and I am getting return smiles on various occasions. Also, I am getting the occasional overt compliment by the louder representatives of the female persuasion.
Ricky, I was wondering what happened to hanging out with ya, you went MIA. You've been here @ SS for a minute so you can probably speak on a couple things or give advice. Anyways fellas pm me your phone #s and we can grab some drinks and dirty stiiinkin broads in between gunslinging at the local saloon.
Been out Thursday and Saturday night with mixed results. On Thursday I went to Green Dolphin and talked to two girls for the entire night :-\. Didn't dance with any at all. They switched the layout of the club for a new, more intimate setting and I aint feeling it at all anymore. Plus there was a bunch of butch lesbians hollering at most of the cute girls. There is something about a bunch of lesbians going harder than you at women that throws your entire night off.
Out of the two interactions I had, neither resulted in any kind of close, attempt at closing or even extended conversation, but I found one funny.
After standing in the same spot for like an hour, already having chalked the night up as a waste and the phrase "You can't win em all" reverberating in my head, a girl comes up with this gem:
Girl: Hey. Are you okay. I see you've been standing there by yourself in the club all night. You look like the psycho nigga that stalks women and murders them when they try and break up.
*dead*
Wow. Looking back she was obviously interested if she came up and talked to me but damn. There was a slight inflection to suggest humour but that is still probably the worst opener in the history of mankind if I was insecure about being solo in the club scene.
Macallik: Hahah Wowwwww. Well it is not who you come with but who you leave with, right.
Girl: Oh yea you do got a point there. That is true...
.
.
.
Macallik: I do stab b!tches though
Girl: *look of shock then laughter* You so craazzzyyy
She stayed away from me for the rest of the night after that though.
Saturday Afternoon, Terrisa invited me to Dillo Day up NWU, or I think she did. I pocket dialed her by a mistake and she texted me back talking about Dillo Day. I googled it and then invited myself before blowing it off coz it is too far North for me and I didn't feel like being in a mosh pit or around a bunch of sweaty NWU undergrads.
Ended up going Zentra and settling for a bunch of sweaty people with misconstrued values instead. That is, of course, after watching the exciting, six-to-five, "did anyone actually tend the goals or were they just in charge of retrieving the puck from the back of the net", hockey game with the Blackhawks squeaking a W for game 1.
At the club I drank a good bit. I'm sure you all have gotten to the point where I was, where you can't focus on grinding on beat AND getting an erection at the same time. A lot of girls danced with me for like a song and then felt bored or insulted do to my lack of 'excitement' and left me hanging.
Early on in the night, two girls were standing next to me while there were little/no others on the dancefloor. I got eye contact with one and she smiled and then a minute or two later she came up to me to take a picture of them. I was hella gunshy early on and after taking the pic, I stood with my back turned to them for a couple minutes then changed locations. I was drawing a blank on what to talk about and just circumvented the whole issue like a panzy. I swear my game is like a teenage girl's sometime. I just sit there and hope the person I like makes a move, smh.
Later on, I am dancing solo and the okay looking friend is checking me out pretty hard since I can see it in my drunken peripheral. The cuter friend walks away from the guy she is grinding, walks up to me, grabs me and repositions me a couple feet over on the dancefloor, directly on her friend's booty.
We dance a couple songs and part ways. I come back in the area later in the night and the two girls are just sitting watching me, particularly the average-looking friend. I am continually dancing with other women, but for these two, now that I feel pressured/expected to act on them, I can't pull myself to do it. For the entire night, I knew that the average friend was an open three, but I got in my head for some reason.
Later on, she comes up to me as they are leaving and asks if I am around here coz my swag is different than the others and she ventures to say that I am not from Chicago because of it. Compliments will get you everywhere my dear.
I tell her where I am from and as she is leaving I tell her to take my number and give me a call. She obliges like I knew she would and calls me a couple minutes later. She is an hour outside Chicago and said to and I quote, "text/call her anytime I want to kick it." Looks like I might have my first bustdown on my hands.
Also, I grabbed what I believe are now worthless digits from this sexy, black Dubai girl celebrating her birthday in Chicago for an unknown period of time. My dumb ass does the same thing that I did with Vida and kept leaving her alone in a FVCKING CLUB so that I don't appear desperate.
When I left her, a new guy comes in and I don't get back in with her for at least 30 minutes. I get back in afterwards and things are honky dorey. The second time I left her (yes it was twice) the original guy came back and talks to her for like 40 minutes on the couch before leaving but then a new guy comes after him and proceeds to talk to her for the rest of the night and leave the club with her. Still kicking myself for that one. I need to tattoo a reminder on myself about leaving women alone in the club, Memento style.
A problem I realized in hindsight was my game was not tailored towards going anywhere with her that night. She told me she doesn't know how long she will be in town for and I still didn't pull the trigger to gun for a some same night sex. Didn't even try and kiss her even though foreheads touched, hands were on faces and we were on a couch. I have a couple useless pictures of her now. Yay.
Points to work on:
Conversation and interactions with a end result in mind: I think I had this in Vegas which is why I had more success even in terms of approaching more women. Talking to women with an idea of where I want things to go (for Vegas it was into the nearest bed) instead of just trying to make them laugh and hope they like me for that.
Stop leaving women alone in the club unless rapport is deep and it is a follow up situation guaranteed
Other than that, I just need to approach more as usual. My spring wardrobe is complimenting my confidence rather nicely. I am starting to smile at passing women instead of just undressing them in my head and I am getting return smiles on various occasions. Also, I am getting the occasional overt compliment by the louder representatives of the female persuasion.
iqqi
Master Don Juan
I am still in Chicago.
I might still be down to be a wingwoman in a ss meetup.
I might still be down to be a wingwoman in a ss meetup.
Iqqi a meet up with SS'ers sounds good to me.
Thanks handle. I am hoping to put myself out there more now that it is summer time but I am having issues. What are these issues you ask? Good question. I thought you would never hypothetically ask. Well actually I knew you would because I am hypothetically speaking for you..
Right now I am having trouble leaving my house before 10 pm. Although it doesn't help that the Blackhawks are competing for the Stanley, the World Cup starts next week and NBA Finals start tonight, the reason I am having trouble is because I am head over heels with the stock market again and having a hard time pulling myself away from the Bloomberg TV or my TD Ameritrade account on my netbook.
Usually, after the markets close, it hits me that I have had an unproductive day socially and decide to head out to the club where I waste money and time with women that I often have little in common with other than music. Top that off with the fact that I am often too drunk to relate to women I actually can relate to and it makes for trying times occasionally.
I went out last night after watching the OT loss of the Blackhawks via a choppy, low res, stress inducing feed online. Unfortunately, in my hurry to get to the club before they charged full price, I forgot to throw on deodorant. I didn't want to be that guy in the club, so when I got off the train I looked for the nearest convenience store. Of course, none were nearby (how inconvenient of them) and so I told myself I won't dance at all and headed in the direction of the club.
Of course after entirely too many $5 shots of Patron and bottles of Heineken I was dancing my ass off. I was the stinky guy in the club last night smh. I did grab digits but they were worthless, it was that girl that is hugging and flirting with every guy in the club, even the dude in the wheelchair. I didn't notice she was this girl until after I got the number and she walked up to another guy to hug him mid convo.
Going out during the day has a higher chance of success and more interesting interactions. Too much Dionysian and not enough Apollonian makes the baby Jesus cry. In somewhat related news, a group of sisters chatted me up on my way to play pick up football the other day. I was checking out the oldest one whilst on the Red Line and the youngest one noticed and starts chatting me up for the older one. The older one looked nervous as if she wanted to reject me before I could reject her and shook her head vigorously when the youngest sister started talking about setting us up. However, she was glancing at me out of the corner of her eye earlier so I knew she was at least a little interested.
The youngest one was too young but she was the one who engaging and complimenting me so I complimented her back. I should have engaged the older girl more but I was offput by her earlier attempt at playing down interest in me and a little hesitant as a result. The young sister asked for my digits for the older one as they were getting off of the train and I gave it to her but I haven't gotten any calls so I'm not holding my breath.
Thanks handle. I am hoping to put myself out there more now that it is summer time but I am having issues. What are these issues you ask? Good question. I thought you would never hypothetically ask. Well actually I knew you would because I am hypothetically speaking for you..
Right now I am having trouble leaving my house before 10 pm. Although it doesn't help that the Blackhawks are competing for the Stanley, the World Cup starts next week and NBA Finals start tonight, the reason I am having trouble is because I am head over heels with the stock market again and having a hard time pulling myself away from the Bloomberg TV or my TD Ameritrade account on my netbook.
Usually, after the markets close, it hits me that I have had an unproductive day socially and decide to head out to the club where I waste money and time with women that I often have little in common with other than music. Top that off with the fact that I am often too drunk to relate to women I actually can relate to and it makes for trying times occasionally.
I went out last night after watching the OT loss of the Blackhawks via a choppy, low res, stress inducing feed online. Unfortunately, in my hurry to get to the club before they charged full price, I forgot to throw on deodorant. I didn't want to be that guy in the club, so when I got off the train I looked for the nearest convenience store. Of course, none were nearby (how inconvenient of them) and so I told myself I won't dance at all and headed in the direction of the club.
Of course after entirely too many $5 shots of Patron and bottles of Heineken I was dancing my ass off. I was the stinky guy in the club last night smh. I did grab digits but they were worthless, it was that girl that is hugging and flirting with every guy in the club, even the dude in the wheelchair. I didn't notice she was this girl until after I got the number and she walked up to another guy to hug him mid convo.
Going out during the day has a higher chance of success and more interesting interactions. Too much Dionysian and not enough Apollonian makes the baby Jesus cry. In somewhat related news, a group of sisters chatted me up on my way to play pick up football the other day. I was checking out the oldest one whilst on the Red Line and the youngest one noticed and starts chatting me up for the older one. The older one looked nervous as if she wanted to reject me before I could reject her and shook her head vigorously when the youngest sister started talking about setting us up. However, she was glancing at me out of the corner of her eye earlier so I knew she was at least a little interested.
The youngest one was too young but she was the one who engaging and complimenting me so I complimented her back. I should have engaged the older girl more but I was offput by her earlier attempt at playing down interest in me and a little hesitant as a result. The young sister asked for my digits for the older one as they were getting off of the train and I gave it to her but I haven't gotten any calls so I'm not holding my breath.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.