Conversation 1 - I was walking from the gym at work and made eye contact with a girl walking into a Freshii. She stopped and turned around and complimented my look. I forced my way through the interaction and at one point just randomly blurted out words that had nothing to do with the conversation lol. Clearly I have been relying on drinking as a crutch and need to work on my regular game. Her name was Naomi and I ended up grabbing her # and setting up a lunch date with her though.
Conversation 2 - I was on the bus an an older homeless woman started talking to me. Normally I would assume that she wanted money and/or just cut the conversation short but this time I pushed through. I think she enjoyed having someone listen to her story and it felt good for me.
Lunch Date: During my lunch break last week, I went out with Naomi. Since I had already eaten, we decided to just grab some coffee and chop it up. Luckily, I knew that my nervousness during my initial interaction was a fluke and that I am very charming when I want to be, but to be safe, I still read up on conversing via the Week 2 articles from the Don Juan Bootcamp.
We met outside of her job, and after the initial minute or so of uncertainty and nervous stumbling over words, I fell into my normal groove and was much much better at guiding the conversation. We talked about prior jobs and things to do in the city. I guided the convo back towards her a bit. One thing that was new to me was that typically my first dates are usually at a bar after work and I can work my magic there pretty well, but coffee dates I hadn't done in years. In retrospect, the lack of alcohol to allow the both of us to lower our inhibitions wasn't there, so I need to brush up on being sober yet pushing the conversation to sexual topics and/or displaying my intent.
Below are some tactics I have implemented recently that have allowed me to slowly chip away at some negative aspects of my thinking:
- I have been listening to a motivational podcast from a local bro that became pretty popular. It is called 'New Mindset; Who Dis' and it is the right combination of motivation and not taking yourself to seriously. I recommend it to anyone that is looking for a quick, positive boost to start their day
- I have also been taking a meditation course from Insight Timer that works on not caring what other people think. It is slowly starting to make a difference as well.
- Lastly, I attended a Toastmasters event today to build my confidence when it comes to speaking publicly. I hoped to knock out another conversation with someone there but the crowd was not really to my speed. I will restart my practice of public speaking to work on that skill as well as attend their next event though.