Will girls change their minds in the heat of the moment?

[semag]

Quick question here.

I'm talking to my gf, and we got to talking about sexual stuff. My gf is pretty naive and innocent, and I mentioned something about a bj. She came back with an "eww, that's gross" response, typical of such a girl. I know that girls in general aren't fond of bj's, because it doesn't give them any pleasure whatsoever, it's purely for a man's enjoyment, but is the "eww" just a preprogrammed response or something that truly would be objected to if the moment was there. I'm a virgin, so I haven't had a lot of experience to know if a girl will change her mind when the time comes.

The reason I ask it this way, is I know that she would normally object to say, contact under the clothes or something (as per the ASD), but when we're making out and I make a move, she makes no objections whatsoever. So I was wondering if any of you guys had a girl perhaps in that position, who changed her mind??

 

[Nocturnal]

you're correct. chances are its a 'preprogrammed response'. girls test us all the time, mabye she thought you were testing her. you just have to sincerely show her you're serious and mature about it, but dont be forceful. read her body language.

 

[Green Curse]

yeh body lanuage dude, she sais eww cos she dun wanna sound like a slut.
but if you made moves you could probably get some rather then asking her... like instead of asking for handy just guide her and there.. so on so forth

 

[PEACEDJ]

They are all skanks. They swear that they won't have sex, disagree with you on sexual topics and yet when they do make out they turn into the inner sluts they actually are. Just make out with her few times and watch was happens.

 

[jmm854]

They are all skanks. They swear that they won't have sex, disagree with you on sexual topics and yet when they do make out they turn into the inner sluts they actually are. Just make out with her few times and watch was happens.

Amen to that. Girls are sluttier than most men when put in the right situation.

 

[Digitz]

"oh i didnt know you thought that was gross, anyway i cant wait till im really SUCK-cessfull and am experiencing CVM-plete hap-PEN1S, what about you?"

 

[semag]

hah.... thanks for the input guys

 

[oreo_renegade]

hehehheehe it is SO possible to change girls into naughty sex slaves.

This one girl I used to know, imean she was like the most ****ing innocent little church girl ever, and then she got to know me

If you keep a sexual atmosphere with PLENTY OF SUGGESTIVE kino, and just being sexually suggestive all the time (after creating great rapport of course), soon enough, the girl will be sexual towards you!

trust me, that one girl would NOT stick her breasts in my face, "fall" into my lap, while draggin me down, and getting on top of me, or washing a table in a rocking swaying motion while rubbing her hips on me , that is she wouldnt do all of those things a couple of weeks before I met her.

the great thing is that she had a little afc boyfriend all along, and if i really was evil enough, i could get a BJ from her with about 3 more days work. (she ****ing invited me over on saturday!)


word of advice, dont talk about sexual stuff, unless it is suggestive and puts them into the mood of sex.

What exactly were you trying to accomplish by discussing sexual issues with her?

 

[semag]

What exactly were you trying to accomplish by discussing sexual issues with her?

I don't know exactly. I think it was a mistake on my part when it came up not to drop it right away. I don't know what answer I expected anyway.... where would the ASD be if your girlfriend said "Oh sure! That sounds like fun!!"

*laughs*

 

[Nocturnal]

Originally posted by oreo_renegade
word of advice, dont talk about sexual stuff, unless it is suggestive and puts them into the mood of sex.

What exactly were you trying to accomplish by discussing sexual issues with her?

Here we go again...

THE WHOLE IDEA OF DATING A GIRL IS THAT YOU HAVE PRIVELAGES 'FRIENDS' DON'T. By talking about 'Sexual Issues' you accomplish many things in one step:

1) Tell her you're not there to be friends.
2) Get her thinking in ways that might have needed a little motivation.
3) Tell her that you're not afraid of and react immaturely to some of the most basic parts of human nature.
4) Provide an interesting topic for conversation.
5) Find out if she's comfortable thinking about you this way, and if she is attracted to you.
6) T u r n h e r o n.

Semag, no mistake has been made. You're doing good. Refer to my post above .

 

[oreo_renegade]

Nocturnal, I guess it really depends on your definition of "friends."

I dont see why you cannot be "friends with benefits," and avoid the whole commitment, talking, buying presents, blah blah blah ordeal all together

I like the list of reasons to talk about sex you made, well actually I just like the points that talking about sex should accomplish something.

However, semag here accomplished something not so great. The response of "ewwww thats grosss." As oppossed to the much more preffered "hehehehe"

Its nothing big, I mean its correctable anda ll, but it still isnt good to talk about sex to a girl, and have her be against it.

Thats why I say, less talk, more action. People tend to oppose ideas they get from "the outside" (or not themself)

If you give them a subtle thought, and they THEY toy around with the idea by themself, all of a sudden... it becomes... their idea... and all of a sudden, it doesnt seem so bad... hell it seems nice!

But if you go "i think BJ's are nice, and you should give me one"

her response is "no! i dont want to, I dont want to do something YOU tell me to!"

Get THEM to want it, but dont go around being all "i want it first"

 

[semag]

Get THEM to want it, but dont go around being all "i want it first"

That's a valid point there.

I think Nocturnal's ideas apply to a wider range though in most aspects, in terms of his definition of dating. I agree with the fact that "eww that's gross" is a bad response, but I think it's a stage that precursor's the "heheheh" response.

I think some conditioning and time can change the response I get, and perhaps some spontaneous encouragement from being right there, as opposed to talkin, ya know?

 

[Nocturnal]

Originally posted by oreo_renegade
Nocturnal, I guess it really depends on your definition of "friends."

my definition of "friends." - n. those companions whom a girl does not value sexually or intimately.

Originally posted by oreo_renegade
I dont see why you cannot be "friends with benefits," and avoid the whole commitment, talking, buying presents, blah blah blah ordeal all together

because women become emotionally attatched with sex.

Originally posted by oreo_renegade
I like the list of reasons to talk about sex you made, well actually I just like the points that talking about sex should accomplish something.

However, semag here accomplished something not so great. The response of "ewwww thats grosss." As oppossed to the much more preffered "hehehehe"

you dont get it... the whole time you're interacting with a girl, you're trying to accomplishing something. a relationship or simply the benefits one might have, that is unless your intentions are to be FRIENDS (*note* refer to "my definition of "friends."")

Originally posted by oreo_renegade
Its nothing big, I mean its correctable anda ll, but it still isnt good to talk about sex to a girl, and have her be against it.

Thats why I say, less talk, more action. People tend to oppose ideas they get from "the outside" (or not themself)

1) how do you know if she's against it if you dont talk about it?
2) what is the problem with it?
3) if a girl was attracted to you would she SINCERELY say "ewww"?
4) if you truly believe that, you're an idiot. look at our world today. how did people get ideas? from other peoples' ideas!!!!!! you dont honestly think people thought 'oh look at how much work he's saving by using that wheel. i'm gonna keep doing it the hard way' do you? ever hear of inspiration??? how does advertising work best? mouth to mouth. ever hear of peer pressure? "hey everyone likes this man, you should too". and guess where that ends up?

the biggest cases where people oppose outside ideas is probably when they 1) dont want any harm to come from it or 2) when they have a sufficient replacement already.

Originally posted by oreo_renegade
If you give them a subtle thought, and they THEY toy around with the idea by themself, all of a sudden... it becomes... their idea... and all of a sudden, it doesnt seem so bad... hell it seems nice!

But if you go "i think BJ's are nice, and you should give me one"

her response is "no! i dont want to, I dont want to do something YOU tell me to!"

ok..

1) if a girl is in the right mood she WILL do whatever you demand (for the most part)

2) they were already talking about sex before he got this response. she was already in the mindset for it and his response shouldn't have been TOO much of a surprise.

3) if you make it humorous, that statement might not be as bad, and even have a positive side.

4) But if she says "i would do a three-way thing if there were 2 guys" and you say "well what about b.j. if there was just one *wink*" you're accomplishing many of the things i listed previously, if #5 (whether she likes you or not) is determined as a yes.

This is why body language is important.

Read that again.

Body Language!

Originally posted by oreo_renegade
Get THEM to want it, but dont go around being all "i want it first"

did he say "i want it <a b.j.>"??? i dont see where he did. even if it's implied... this is the 21st century. girls want implications. GIRLS WANT YOU TO TELL THEM THAT YOU WANT THEM.

a lot of this stuff has already been covered in locations such as the bible..

 

[Nocturnal]

Originally posted by semag
That's a valid point there.

depending on your situation. you should be more specific next time then things like those wont break out .

Originally posted by semag
I think Nocturnal's ideas apply to a wider range though in most aspects, in terms of his definition of dating. I agree with the fact that "eww that's gross" is a bad response, but I think it's a stage that precursor's the "heheheh" response.

wider than what?

see you DO agree with Nocturnal .

Originally posted by semag
I think some conditioning and time can change the response I get, and perhaps some spontaneous encouragement from being right there, as opposed to talkin, ya know?

the response isn't whats important. her attraction and body language towards you is.

 

[Nocturnal]

dbl post.

 

[semag]

Thanks a lot for the input Nocturnal... I never said I didn't agree with you

 

[Jester]

Nocturnal your inexperience is shining brightly, chill.

Oreo_renegade was dead on. I suggest you do not post on topics where your experience is non-existant or limited.

YOU DO NOT TALK SEX WITH A GIRL WHO THINKS SEX IS WRONG.

It will accomplish NOTHING, infact it will only set you back. Like oreo said, if you want sex, and shes against it, the only way to do it is through action. You build up to a point where she will not want to turn back, now this point is different for every girl but most ofthe time if you get them turned on enough, just touching their ***** will make them beg to get you inside.

This requires a whole lot of foreplay tho, and you have to really be good at it

I apologize for not getting to this very-worthy post sooner semag.

 

[Nocturnal]

Originally posted by Jester
Nocturnal your inexperience is shining brightly, chill.

Oreo_renegade was dead on. I suggest you do not post on topics where your experience is non-existant or limited.

YOU DO NOT TALK SEX WITH A GIRL WHO THINKS SEX IS WRONG.

It will accomplish NOTHING, infact it will only set you back. Like oreo said, if you want sex, and shes against it, the only way to do it is through action. You build up to a point where she will not want to turn back, now this point is different for every girl but most ofthe time if you get them turned on enough, just touching their ***** will make them beg to get you inside.

This requires a whole lot of foreplay tho, and you have to really be good at it

I apologize for not getting to this very-worthy post sooner semag.

come on jester. if he was talking to the girl about sex... i think he would have known if she was against it and slowed down. if she's comfortable talking about things like that then you're in. and apparently they already had a conversation going.

by "building up to a point" you have to start somewhere.

just a note, but normally when i mention sexual conversation with a girl its not necessarily about sex itself. this time it was, because they obviously were already talking about it.

by allowing the conversation to continue, she already showed some inital curiosity with it (unless he forced it).

 

[Jester]

Originally posted by Nocturnal
by allowing the conversation to continue, she already showed some inital curiosity with it (unless he forced it).

i dont think "eww, thats gross" quite qualifies as curiosity dude.


Also, if you talk about it and shes against it, it only hampers you more because all that crap her mom and society put in her brain about sex being wrong comes to the surface. If you dont talk about it, that doesnt happen, or if it does, not as much and not as soon.

SO in otherwords, unless you know she isnt against having sex, dont talk about the specifics.

Now nocturnal reminded me of something. You still can have a sexual conversation to a girl without those things happening. Its called innuendo. A sexual undertone to a conversation can be accomplished and can have some effect.


...but forget all that, jsut make out with her and try to get further and further every time.

Works like a charm.

 

[Nocturnal]

this all goes back to the original question.

is she really communicating "ewww" or is she speaking those words because of social pressure and a 'preprogrammed response'.

thats why i stress the importance of body language. i could very well see the "eww" as being a playful "ewww" but the girl still interested do to a lack of exposure to this kind of stuff. it would be much easier to determine the real meaning of this if i could see the body language.

we all know that girls dont always say what they think..

if the girl said "eww" with a short response, then turned away with a look of disgust thats one thing, but what if she says "eww" and kind of fades it out with a little grin and then continues the conversation? its the whole "i'm innocent" image they want, but in reality they see something new and are curious about it.

this is really controversial so i'll leave it at that.