"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Wierd situation

XSilverStarboyX

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Well I just returned from a 3.5 week homestay in Japan. I had lots of fun only I believe I have fallen for my host families daughter. I never of course said anything to her because I felt that would make life akward had she not been interested in me. Now that Im home, I feel as though Im now obsessed with her, but I dont want to dedicate my life to her seeing as how of course we arent married or anything. What can I do about this? I would think date someone else, but I wasnt sure if there was anything else
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Contender

Don Juan
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Why have you fallen for her? Usually, our first crushes, and the first few chicks we fall for are merely just obsessions. It's nothing tangable.

It's just an attachment because we experienced something with that person for the first time. She's probably the first girl you've slept over with, and had a great time with... staying up late... checking her ass out in her pajamas. Her waking you up gently in the morning, and chilling in the city after breakfast.

I've been there, too; in my local area, not Japan. But, these things fade, because it is not *usually* 'real.'

Ask yourself, why do you really 'love' her? How many gfs have you had? How many did you 'love?'
 

XSilverStarboyX

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Contender said:
Why have you fallen for her? Usually, our first crushes, and the first few chicks we fall for are merely just obsessions. It's nothing tangable.

It's just an attachment because we experienced something with that person for the first time. She's probably the first girl you've slept over with, and had a great time with... staying up late... checking her ass out in her pajamas. Her waking you up gently in the morning, and chilling in the city after breakfast.

I've been there, too; in my local area, not Japan. But, these things fade, because it is not *usually* 'real.'

Ask yourself, why do you really 'love' her? How many gfs have you had? How many did you 'love?'
Yes she is the first girl I spent the night with and all the stuff you mentioned, and no I have never gone past first base before. I had 2 girlfriends and only loved one. The one I loved was long distance so most people dont count her. BUt now that I answered the questions for you. What are you trying to say?
 
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XSilverStarboyX

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dont mean to bump this up but I do want a response
 

Michele l'Arcangelo

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lol dude its obvious what hes trying to say. you are NOT experienced. you don't know what 'love' is. right now you are obsessing about a chick that (im guessing you aren't from japan) is wayyy too far from where you live -- its stupid and unhealthy... because you'll lose sleep over it.

but if you still don't know what hes trying to say... hes saying... you are unexperienced with girls... and you need to experience more situations with them so you can understand what's going on more... i mean cmon man youre 18... you haven't experienced what people have experienced when they were 14.

go out and get chicks.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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XSilverStarboyX

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Oh, I was just saying, I know I shouldnt chain myself down to one person. But its kind of hard at the same time
 

XSilverStarboyX

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MikeS said:
lol dude its obvious what hes trying to say. you are NOT experienced. you don't know what 'love' is. right now you are obsessing about a chick that (im guessing you aren't from japan) is wayyy too far from where you live -- its stupid and unhealthy... because you'll lose sleep over it.

but if you still don't know what hes trying to say... hes saying... you are unexperienced with girls... and you need to experience more situations with them so you can understand what's going on more... i mean cmon man youre 18... you haven't experienced what people have experienced when they were 14.

go out and get chicks.
I think Im starting to get over it. I still miss her but I dont kick my ass over it. Not that I ever did. Im just going to let things happen now. If someone approaches me thats interesting. Im gonna go for it.
 
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