Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
-=Why You Should Stop Masturbating=-
- Thread starter DEKKA
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
victor von doom
Banned
yeah. you should be ashamed. it's a ridiculous comparison.
I guess every man on earth is an "addict" then. Also, what's the difference between jerking off and sex, then? That's an addiction too.. to the body it's the same chemical reaction.
not really. following your logic, any human urge like eating, pissing, shytting, and even fukking, can by your definition, be considered an "addiction"
because like all the aforementioned activities, it's something we just do.. whether or not we have females around.
Yeah, if we wanted to.. but then we'd start having wet dreams again, like when we were 11. The body will find a way to release the sexual tension whether you want to or not.
are you addicted to hearing yourself yap? Masturbation is natural. Please get that through your thick skull. If you don't want to jerk off, that's cool, but don't tell us were "addicts" if we do.
Dekka - you still didn't explain how mastrubation prevents you from getting what you want in life.
When you jerk off, your head becomes clearer and you don't get distracted as much. That only helps you achieve your goals, not prevents you.
But the question remains...
When you jerk off, your head becomes clearer and you don't get distracted as much. That only helps you achieve your goals, not prevents you.
But the question remains...
diablo
Master Don Juan
Masturbation is normal, and even healthy when used properly. Just as are most things in life.
However, there can be "too much of a good thing". When someone masturbates excessively, the results can be sexual exhaustion, weak erection toward impotency, and premature ejaculation. The affects of this will be that it is hard to satisfy a girl and keep a good marriage or relationship.
You have trained your prostate ejaculation nerve to come quickly. This kind of masturbation training is the same as the martial art that trains the hands to intuitively react once the visual nerve is stimulated by other people's hands.
On the flip side,
Alex McKay, research coordinator for the Sex Information and Education Council of Canada commented that many people currently feel guilty about masturbation: "The reason is that sex is supposed to be geared towards reproduction, and masturbation is about as far away from that as you can get...There is now a wide-ranging consensus among health professionals from all disciplines that masturbation is psychologically healthy and something most people do." Sex therapists Bill and Carolyn Chernenkoff from Saskatoon, SK, promote both mutual and private "self-stimulation." They say there's nothing more healthy for hormone-crazed teenagers than masturbation. If the kids are engaging in masturbation, then they won't be practicing sexual intercourse to the same degree, and risk catching STDs or becoming pregnant. 2
R. Jandl commented in an "Ask the Doctors" column that masturbation has a number of benefits:
It enables the playing out of pleasurable sexual fantasies.
It releases sexual tension and often produces a pleasant, tranquil feeling.
It helps a person become more comfortable with their own sexuality.
It is an enjoyable experience when shared with a partner.
It can curb impulses to have inappropriate sex with someone. 3
Other references list additional benefits associated with masturbation:
No one gets pregnant by masturbating.
It helps maintain good pelvic blood flow and strong pc muscles.
It is safe. Sexually transmitted diseases are not transmitted during masturbation.
It's great for stress relief and can help you sleep.
It can temporarily relieve menstrual cramps in women.
A person can learn about the sexual responses of their own body, and thus be better prepared for sexual activity with a partner at a later time.
Some negative factors have been cited:
Among males, frequent and vigorous masturbation can produce skin abrasions. This can be avoided by using a lubricant such as KY jelly, Aqua-Lube, saliva or even soap and water.
It does take time away from other activities. Some younger teenagers masturbate a few times a day.
Prolonged sexual arousal in males without an ejaculation can cause pain due to blood congestion in the genital area. This is often called "blue balls". It is easily avoided and dissipates after a while.
People may masturbate throughout their lifetime without any deleterious side effects.
However, there can be "too much of a good thing". When someone masturbates excessively, the results can be sexual exhaustion, weak erection toward impotency, and premature ejaculation. The affects of this will be that it is hard to satisfy a girl and keep a good marriage or relationship.
You have trained your prostate ejaculation nerve to come quickly. This kind of masturbation training is the same as the martial art that trains the hands to intuitively react once the visual nerve is stimulated by other people's hands.
On the flip side,
Alex McKay, research coordinator for the Sex Information and Education Council of Canada commented that many people currently feel guilty about masturbation: "The reason is that sex is supposed to be geared towards reproduction, and masturbation is about as far away from that as you can get...There is now a wide-ranging consensus among health professionals from all disciplines that masturbation is psychologically healthy and something most people do." Sex therapists Bill and Carolyn Chernenkoff from Saskatoon, SK, promote both mutual and private "self-stimulation." They say there's nothing more healthy for hormone-crazed teenagers than masturbation. If the kids are engaging in masturbation, then they won't be practicing sexual intercourse to the same degree, and risk catching STDs or becoming pregnant. 2
R. Jandl commented in an "Ask the Doctors" column that masturbation has a number of benefits:
It enables the playing out of pleasurable sexual fantasies.
It releases sexual tension and often produces a pleasant, tranquil feeling.
It helps a person become more comfortable with their own sexuality.
It is an enjoyable experience when shared with a partner.
It can curb impulses to have inappropriate sex with someone. 3
Other references list additional benefits associated with masturbation:
No one gets pregnant by masturbating.
It helps maintain good pelvic blood flow and strong pc muscles.
It is safe. Sexually transmitted diseases are not transmitted during masturbation.
It's great for stress relief and can help you sleep.
It can temporarily relieve menstrual cramps in women.
A person can learn about the sexual responses of their own body, and thus be better prepared for sexual activity with a partner at a later time.
Some negative factors have been cited:
Among males, frequent and vigorous masturbation can produce skin abrasions. This can be avoided by using a lubricant such as KY jelly, Aqua-Lube, saliva or even soap and water.
It does take time away from other activities. Some younger teenagers masturbate a few times a day.
Prolonged sexual arousal in males without an ejaculation can cause pain due to blood congestion in the genital area. This is often called "blue balls". It is easily avoided and dissipates after a while.
People may masturbate throughout their lifetime without any deleterious side effects.
no. eating, pissing, shytting, and ****ing must be done or you will die... or you won't breed... don't mix up addictions with urges and needs. you don't need to masturbate.(and yet you DO need to masturbate which makes it an addiction) it is not a requirement. having sex is the normal way and when you don't do that there's a natural way you get rid of your load.
masturbation is just not on the same level as eating... and if it is for you, you're just proving my point.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
I am theorizing that, just like a drug short circuits the reward system and kills motivation for things such as friends, sex, ambition, etc., masturbation does the same thing to an extent by providing an "easy out" for the sex drive. I theorize that, because we can all push a magic satisfaction button anytime we want, we are not forced to use the power of our sex drive as motivation. I can't prove it yet because I nor anybody I know doesn't masturbate, so I have no control group to compare to. But, it certainly makes sense that somebody that was forced to have sex to releive their sex urge, and had no ability to masturbate(for whatever reason), would take more steps in obtaining that goal and making it easily obtainable at will.
Thoroughbred
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2003
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Dekka you are not making sense now, you said you do need to masturbate and that you don't need to LOL.
And you said sex is the normal way to have a release... like masturbation is not normal. I am willing to be that you are not even comfortable with sexuality since you don't consider masturbation as something normal.
I really suggest you talk to a therapist, doctor, or someone that knows about this ****, because you have some really false ideas.
And you said sex is the normal way to have a release... like masturbation is not normal. I am willing to be that you are not even comfortable with sexuality since you don't consider masturbation as something normal.
I really suggest you talk to a therapist, doctor, or someone that knows about this ****, because you have some really false ideas.
victor von doom
Banned
I'm not mixing up addictions with urges, you are.
Masturbation is an urge like any of the other bodily functions I mentioned. Masturbation is an urge and need like any other. Oh yeah, masturbation is also just as natural as fukking.
No... I'm proving that masturbation is a human instinct like any other.. and not an "addiction" .
The basic premise of your argument is that if you don't masturbate, you'll be forced to seek up chicks in order to satisfy your needs and urges the natural way... uh... it doesn't work that way, and you are merely imposing your opinions as they pertain to yourself to everyone else. I'm sure most men (like me) jerk off without it affecting their desire to seek and stick their units in the snatches of females.
Basically keep this convoluted "theory" to yourself, it's bunk and you know it.
Dekka is right
I'm amazed nobody agrees with you Dekka. I think it is because people don't want to accept that for the most part, we are just complicated animals, driven by basic urges. We like to wear fancy clothing talk and write a lot, but essentially we are just complicated animals. In fact many people have pets are far less neurotic about these urges than their owners and we find that fascinating about them!
You don't know you are addicted to something until you try to stop! Try to stop masterbating for a month or two, then tell me you aren't addicted. Try taking all sugar or bread out of your diet and tell me you are not addicted to sugar and bread. We have tons of addictions. And all these things we are addicted to help us dull ourselves to the felt harshness of living in this world.
It's all about equanimity or balance. All addictions ruin this balance and throw us into bondage to habit. So discipline is the key to freedom from all bondages. It is also the key to discovering this equanimity. Orgasm and male orgasm in particular throws away a lot of life energy. So much so that a lot of men basically pass out after orgasm. Female orgasm doesn't throw off as much energy or fluid, but it still depletes energy.
So orgasm should be kept to a minimum. once or twice a month for men over 25, perhaps more for younger men. But if we aren't inclined to do it at all that is also fine.
Ancient religions and cultures have lots of wisdom relative to this and some traditions even practice conversion of orgasm, but that can only work well in the context of a spiritual practice if at all.
Western type scientific investigation has only been around the last 300 years or so. There are many ancient traditions and cultures that have been around far longer and they all suggest that orgasm should be minimized. Science is just catching up with a lot of ancient wisdom. It is amusing to so often read about scientific "discoveries" that where basic knowldege in these traditions. For instance a recent studies that reveal that meditation has all kinds of short term and long term beneficial effects on the body-mind. a few decades ago meditation was considered "dangerous" by scientists. Luckily a lot of people trust their own intuition and subjective experience over the white lab coated priests of our time "The Scientists".
I'm amazed nobody agrees with you Dekka. I think it is because people don't want to accept that for the most part, we are just complicated animals, driven by basic urges. We like to wear fancy clothing talk and write a lot, but essentially we are just complicated animals. In fact many people have pets are far less neurotic about these urges than their owners and we find that fascinating about them!
You don't know you are addicted to something until you try to stop! Try to stop masterbating for a month or two, then tell me you aren't addicted. Try taking all sugar or bread out of your diet and tell me you are not addicted to sugar and bread. We have tons of addictions. And all these things we are addicted to help us dull ourselves to the felt harshness of living in this world.
It's all about equanimity or balance. All addictions ruin this balance and throw us into bondage to habit. So discipline is the key to freedom from all bondages. It is also the key to discovering this equanimity. Orgasm and male orgasm in particular throws away a lot of life energy. So much so that a lot of men basically pass out after orgasm. Female orgasm doesn't throw off as much energy or fluid, but it still depletes energy.
So orgasm should be kept to a minimum. once or twice a month for men over 25, perhaps more for younger men. But if we aren't inclined to do it at all that is also fine.
Ancient religions and cultures have lots of wisdom relative to this and some traditions even practice conversion of orgasm, but that can only work well in the context of a spiritual practice if at all.
Western type scientific investigation has only been around the last 300 years or so. There are many ancient traditions and cultures that have been around far longer and they all suggest that orgasm should be minimized. Science is just catching up with a lot of ancient wisdom. It is amusing to so often read about scientific "discoveries" that where basic knowldege in these traditions. For instance a recent studies that reveal that meditation has all kinds of short term and long term beneficial effects on the body-mind. a few decades ago meditation was considered "dangerous" by scientists. Luckily a lot of people trust their own intuition and subjective experience over the white lab coated priests of our time "The Scientists".
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
victor von doom
Banned
but he's wrong here.. we do need to masturbate sometimes to control the build up of sexual energy. That's why we masturbate. Funny how no one teaches us how to jerk off.. it's just something that comes naturally... I wonder why.
Masturbating is much like a drug, only drugs are alot more addictive
trust me
but they are very similar
Substitute "drugs"/"weed" for "masterbating" in the following.
I'm not addicted to "drugs". I can quit whenever I feel like it. "Weed" is actually proven to realease stress and encourage abstract thinking. I'm well on my way to quitting "drugs". Now I only do it when I'm bored, idle, hungry, or whenever I have free time, etc.
Get the idea.
Dude was 100% right, except health drives are much more powerful than sex drives or belonging.
I dare you to stop masterbating for a week.
Your erections are more numerous, and the power of your orgasm is a whole lot more. Not to mention ur **** feels alot heavier.
You have a whole lot more energy.
Simply put, masturbate only if you can't get any.
In itself, masturbation is useless and counterproductive.
The more you orgasm, the more you want to orgasm. However, if you have an orgasm two times a day, they get boring and very underwhelming.
Trust me
trust me
but they are very similar
Substitute "drugs"/"weed" for "masterbating" in the following.
I'm not addicted to "drugs". I can quit whenever I feel like it. "Weed" is actually proven to realease stress and encourage abstract thinking. I'm well on my way to quitting "drugs". Now I only do it when I'm bored, idle, hungry, or whenever I have free time, etc.
Get the idea.
Dude was 100% right, except health drives are much more powerful than sex drives or belonging.
I dare you to stop masterbating for a week.
Your erections are more numerous, and the power of your orgasm is a whole lot more. Not to mention ur **** feels alot heavier.
You have a whole lot more energy.
Simply put, masturbate only if you can't get any.
In itself, masturbation is useless and counterproductive.
The more you orgasm, the more you want to orgasm. However, if you have an orgasm two times a day, they get boring and very underwhelming.
Trust me
Thoroughbred
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2003
- Messages
- 223
- Reaction score
- 0
deeloo are you Dekka's ***** or something? You seem to be sharing the same mind.
You shouldn't even compare it to cigarette smoking... that is probably one of the most addicting drugs.
If you believe masturbation is an addiction than you have to believe sex is an addiction as well. So you basically believe everyone is a sex addict, how intelligent is that?
I suggest you both look into sex addiction and stop talking so much about something you know little about.
You shouldn't even compare it to cigarette smoking... that is probably one of the most addicting drugs.
If you believe masturbation is an addiction than you have to believe sex is an addiction as well. So you basically believe everyone is a sex addict, how intelligent is that?
I suggest you both look into sex addiction and stop talking so much about something you know little about.
what if you were forced to get rid of your sexual energy by getting laid? good motivation it would be... would it not?
and by "comes naturally" you must mean that anybody with a penis and a curious mind couldnt figure it out? but thats getting off the topic.
its an addiction.
i have no problem with you saying sex is a drug and all people are sex addicts. we've acknoledged that before when talking about relationships in other posts. you agree with me on this.
but
sex is the natural way and masturbation is the pill.
sex is the real thing and masturbation is the fantasy.
sex is the real reward given to your reward center of your brain for a job well done and masturbation is the drug you simulate sex with. (usually when you are horny, but for whatever reason can't get any at the moment)
if you didn't have that magic pill (masturbation) then you wouldnt be inclined to use it when you couldn't get any at the moment. you wouldn't have an "easy out". you'd either get laid or have a wet dream, thus, you would have more motivation to do the things necessary to reach your goals.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
deal. i want you to go a month w/o masturbating. good luck bruh. tell me how it goes.
and how bout instead of trying to refute my "mis-informed" posts with emotion, you use some sort of logic. just telling me you don't agree with me isn't good enough.
sorry to see you limit yourself to nothing. i haven't seen you produce anything or argue any of my points with supporting evidence.
i have, however, point for point, explained why i believe the way i do, supported it with a base of logic and correlation, and taken on everybody that wanted to argue my points.
i have a lot of respect for the guys who stand up and say why they believe this or that. throughbred and the others who didn't see eye to eye with me about masturbation and addiction i still have a lot of respect for because they took the time to explain why. you however just say "i don't accept that", "respond to your post with logic" and "i can only do so much"... so what have you done? you haven't done anything but give an unsupported statement of disagreement.
what say you?
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.