Why you should never defend yourself (verbally)

[BackInTheGame78]

Interesting video...agree with most of this...

 

[Divorced w 3]

I used that last weekend with this coach from the soccer team that played my son. I told the league his wife and he were aggressive towards my son and ran the score up. The guy emailed me and the league, and the other parents, multiple time. I said nothing in return. Everyone took my side

 

[BadBoy89]

Some parts are OK, other parts dont agree with.

A man to be silent when someone attacks him in a room? Don't agree. He should flip it so everyone laughs at the accuser.

"You always feel you are the smartest guy in the room." I would say "Damn straight"

"I think your strategy is reckless" - Senior manager. And the response is "Interesting, tell us your strategy?" The manager has already no respect for the CEO, he has put him down in front of everyone. And the CEO takes it? I don't think so. And its interesting how they say "the manager fumbles when asked" What kind of idiot would say that without backing up his words?

"The more they know you the less they fear you?" I guess that's true, but if you have money, doesn't matter if they know you well or not.

"Have an Aura - you not always liked, you are not always trusted" - well in business, if you are not liked, its tough. If you are not trusted, you are done. With romantic relationships - OK its good for a man not be liked or trusted there.

Nothing mind blowing in there. If a man goes outside and touches grass he should be to figure it all out.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I used that last weekend with this coach from the soccer team that played my son. I told the league his wife and he were aggressive towards my son and ran the score up. The guy emailed me and the league, and the other parents, multiple time. I said nothing in return. Everyone took my side

I don't believe in the whole "running the score" up issue with kids and sports.

I played on a soccer team growing up that sucked ass for a few years and we used to get mailed...games where the score was 11-0, 14-1, 18-1, etc...

Some games were so bad that the other teams goalie sat down at midfield.

Not once so I ever remember thinking why are they running the score up and crying about it. I knew even back then that if you don't want it to happen then you need to play better.

Too many kids these days are afraid to get there ass kicked at something. Life has no such mercy. Protecting them from dealing with it doesn't help them, it cripples them.

Hopefully you at least taught your kid a very important life lesson...that life isn't always fair and it's never about what happens to you, rather how you respond afterwards.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Some parts are OK, other parts dont agree with.

A man to be silent when someone attacks him in a room? Don't agree. He should flip it so everyone laughs at the accuser.

"You always feel you are the smartest guy in the room." I would say "Damn straight"

"I think your strategy is reckless" - Senior manager. And the response is "Interesting, tell us your strategy?" The manager has already no respect for the CEO, he has put him down in front of everyone. And the CEO takes it? I don't think so. And its interesting how they say "the manager fumbles when asked" What kind of idiot would say that without backing up his words?

"The more they know you the less they fear you?" I guess that's true, but if you have money, doesn't matter if they know you well or not.

"Have an Aura - you not always liked, you are not always trusted" - well in business, if you are not liked, its tough. If you are not trusted, you are done. With romantic relationships - OK its good for a man not be liked or trusted there.

Nothing mind blowing in there. If a man goes outside and touches grass he should be to figure it all out.

The type of idiot that would say something like that during a meeting to begin with.

Also, Donald Trump would disagree with you on that. Most New Yorkers hated him and he became pretty damn successful.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I don't believe in the whole "running the score" up issue with kids and sports.

I played on a soccer team growing up that sucked ass for a few years and we used to get mailed...games where the score was 11-0, 14-1, 18-1, etc...

Some games were so bad that the other teams goalie sat down at midfield.

Not once so I ever remember thinking why are they running the score up and crying about it. I knew even back then that if you don't want it to happen then you need to play better.

Too many kids these days are afraid to get there ass kicked at something. Life has no such mercy. Protecting them from dealing with it doesn't help them, it cripples them.

Hopefully you at least taught your kid a very important life lesson...that life isn't always fair and it's never about what happens to you, rather how you respond afterwards.

My son, and the entire team, were pissed. They got run up, but then at the handshake line they basically told the other team they stink. This mother who was coaching must have missed her dose that morning and pulled my kid out - so i put her in her spot and then her husband valiantly came to her rescue like a crackpot and did the same thing, elongating the issue, and mind you i was calm and i was literally walking away.

I think the issue of running a score up is poor sportsmanship. At 7-8 years old the coaches both need to see the bigger picture. Yes we talked about fairness and also how to conduct oneself in public, but it's cutting your nose to spite your face, we all need this pool of kids because they're going to be on various teams over the years and we need bodies on the field, so they can't get spanked on a regular basis.

either way, the act of calling them out to the league and then not responding to the half dozen emails they wrote, drove them bananas and removed any doubt anyone in the league had in my recollection of the events

 

[Divorced w 3]

The type of idiot that would say something like that during a meeting to begin with.

Also, Donald Trump would disagree with you on that. Most New Yorkers hated him and he became pretty damn successful.

Trump was the worst...he wouldn't pay for work, etc... I know a few stories of how he tried to stiff the wrong guys though, they paid him a visit

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Trump was the worst...he wouldn't pay for work, etc... I know a few stories of how he tried to stiff the wrong guys though, they paid him a visit

Yeah no matter how much money you have it doesn't matter to those people. They cannot be bought and respect is their currency at the end of the day.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Divorcedw3,
Long time ago now,but I once lived with young Sons,in a fair size rather affluent Town....The circuit of local kids played Rugby against other Schools including a depressed ex Mining Town 30 miles away...They and their Mums came to matches in a big Coach,Mums all equipped with umbrellas which they brandished like a Zulus assagai at Rorkes Drift...When upset,they attacked all and Sundry,referees,spectators and players all felt the tip of their umbrellas in delicate parts of their anatomy...So bad was it,that eventually wherever they played a uniformed copper and an ambulance would attend...With Women like that,why should Australia tremble?

 

[Bokanovsky]

Also, Donald Trump would disagree with you on that. Most New Yorkers hated him and he became pretty damn successful.

In fairness, is there anyone New Yorkers' do not hate? The whole place is filled with haters.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

In fairness, is there anyone New Yorkers' do not hate? The whole place is filled with haters.

They had good reason ...this dude was a giant POS for 40 years

 

[Sega Genesis]

Great video! So many great quotes but two that stand out:

"The strong let the silence work for them"...

"To explain is to submit"!

I've been guilty of the second one at times but I'm learning!

I was verbally attacked yesterday on another forum (guy was clearly looking for an argument and for me to become unhinged), and my response was "That's fine, I vote we move on from that? And focus on the OP's situation."

Versus it turning into one gigantic irrelevant dramafest and keeping the folks over there entertained. Lol

Guy disappeared from the thread after that.

I think your strategy is reckless" - Senior manager. And the response is "Interesting, tell us your strategy?" The manager has already no respect for the CEO, he has put him down in front of everyone. And the CEO takes it? I don't think so. And its interesting how they say "the manager fumbles when asked" What kind of idiot would say that without backing up his words?

@BadBoy89 the way I read this^^, the manager wasn't criticizing/attacking the CEO, he
criticized the CEO's 'strategy' so I think it's different from attacking his personal frame as a man..

In that sense, the CEO's response was perfect, NOT defending his strategy but flipping it back to the manager asking (in essence) "okay you have a better idea? Why don't you enlighten us"?

I think it's a brilliant way of handing and does tend to throw the attacker off. From what I've seen..

This Niccolò Machiavelli guy actually seems pretty cool!

 

[BadBoy89]

@BadBoy89 the way I read this^^, the manager wasn't criticizing/attacking the CEO, he
criticized the CEO's 'strategy' so I think it's different from attacking his personal frame as a man..
In that sense, the CEO's response was perfect, NOT defending his strategy but flipping it back to the manager asking (in essence) "okay you have a better idea? Why don't you enlighten us"?

If my manager said that to me, I wouldn’t accept it. Even if it’s the “strategy” and not a personal attack, a manager below you cannot call your plan “reckless”. He can say “how about this”
or “what do you think of this” but not “reckless” or any other wrong word.

My parents can say that to me, my girlfriend can say that to me, but not a man working for me.

 

[Bible_Belt]

As a high school senior, I was part of the worst football team our town had seen in 50 years. We were awful, lost every game, none were even close. It taught all of us a lot about ourselves, and most of us came to accept that there was only one solution : cheating. Cheap shots, tripping, gut/nut punches, anything to cause pain or injury. One opposing coach was furious after he won. He told our coach that was the dirtiest football he had ever seen, and when our coach told us that story, he was smiling ear to ear. We finally made him proud.