Why you never ask a girl if she has a boyfriend

[oldmanofthesea]

I've seen a few people talk about this so I'm going to explain it my own way:

• It tells her you don't understand the social reality that most attractive women always have guys in their orbit/rotation and are never truly single.
• It tells her you don't understand that there are many shades of grey in male-female relationships and instead you think it's just "single" or "in a committed relationship with one person." This translates to her forming an opinion that you are very inexperienced (and rightfully so).
• It tells her you want to be her boyfriend. Why would you want to be her boyfriend if you only just met her? Even if this is not your intention, it puts a lot of pressure on her immediately. In her mind, she is likely thinking, "WOAH slow down there buddy.... I don't even know you."
• It eliminates an entitled mindset that you don't care if she has a boyfriend or not - You are so good that even if she has one, she would still be interested in you. Even if you wouldn't want a girl who monkey branches from her boyfriend up to you, that is besides the point.... it's the mindset, entitlement, and experience you are communicating to her by not caring.
• She could have a boyfriend that she's on the outs with and looking for a reason to finally move-on

If she has a boyfriend, she will tell you. And even then, it's often not true or not entirely accurate and is a test of your confidence. You must consider the way in which she says it, and if it is congruent with her other actions.

For example, are you talking for 5 minutes with her and when you then escalate to get a number or ask her out on a date she says, "Oh, I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend so it wouldn't be right," and starts walking away? That girl probably does have a boyfriend. Or in the conversation at some point, does she say, "Just to let you know, I have a boyfriend," but she doesn't walk away and when you basically ignore it and change the subject, she keeps talking to you and you are getting flirty vibes? In that case, she may or may not have a boyfriend, her boyfriend could be a guy who lives 1,000 miles away who she's been having issues with, or she could have 5 boyfriends, or or or or or....... If she's still talking to you and still flirting, she is likely open to you. So proceed as if she didn't mention it.

 

[wifehunter]

Because boyfriends are disposable. And, don't matter.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Best "I have a boyfriend" rebuttal (I'd give credit to the author, if I could remember who it was).

Her: I have a boyfriend.
You: Does he cook?
Her: (looking kind of confused) Yes
You: Great. He can cook us dinner next week.
continue building rapport as if she doesn't have a boyfriend.

I'm actually looking forward to using this ... because I have the type of personality that can pull it off.

 

[samspade]

Best "I have a boyfriend" rebuttal (I'd give credit to the author, if I could remember who it was).

Her: I have a boyfriend.
You: Does he cook?
Her: (looking kind of confused) Yes
You: Great. He can cook us dinner next week.
continue building rapport as if she doesn't have a boyfriend.

I'm actually looking forward to using this ... because I have the type of personality that can pull it off.

I like this. It's a good redirect (cooking). You've got a good comeback if she says yes. If she says no, just give her a a raised eyebrow and a shrug and continue. Only pitfall is if he's a Michelin rated chef, haha.

 

[Speculator E]

I've seen a few people talk about this so I'm going to explain it my own way:

• It tells her you don't understand the social reality that most attractive women always have guys in their orbit/rotation and are never truly single.
• It tells her you don't understand that there are many shades of grey in male-female relationships and instead you think it's just "single" or "in a committed relationship with one person." This translates to her forming an opinion that you are very inexperienced (and rightfully so).
• It tells her you want to be her boyfriend. Why would you want to be her boyfriend if you only just met her? Even if this is not your intention, it puts a lot of pressure on her immediately. In her mind, she is likely thinking, "WOAH slow down there buddy.... I don't even know you."
• It eliminates an entitled mindset that you don't care if she has a boyfriend or not - You are so good that even if she has one, she would still be interested in you. Even if you wouldn't want a girl who monkey branches from her boyfriend up to you, that is besides the point.... it's the mindset, entitlement, and experience you are communicating to her by not caring.
• She could have a boyfriend that she's on the outs with and looking for a reason to finally move-on

If she has a boyfriend, she will tell you. And even then, it's often not true or not entirely accurate and is a test of your confidence. You must consider the way in which she says it, and if it is congruent with her other actions.

For example, are you talking for 5 minutes with her and when you then escalate to get a number or ask her out on a date she says, "Oh, I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend so it wouldn't be right," and starts walking away? That girl probably does have a boyfriend. Or in the conversation at some point, does she say, "Just to let you know, I have a boyfriend," but she doesn't walk away and when you basically ignore it and change the subject, she keeps talking to you and you are getting flirty vibes? In that case, she may or may not have a boyfriend, her boyfriend could be a guy who lives 1,000 miles away who she's been having issues with, or she could have 5 boyfriends, or or or or or....... If she's still talking to you and still flirting, she is likely open to you. So proceed as if she didn't mention it.

This is 2001 level advice. I read this same exact advice in 2001
If she is attracted, it doesn't matter. A lot of time if they are attracted they may lie about having a boyfriend.
Being attracted and looks is all that matter. They will give you their phone number.
Then it's game to get the date.

 

[Speculator E]

Best "I have a boyfriend" rebuttal (I'd give credit to the author, if I could remember who it was).

Her: I have a boyfriend.
You: Does he cook?
Her: (looking kind of confused) Yes
You: Great. He can cook us dinner next week.
continue building rapport as if she doesn't have a boyfriend.

I'm actually looking forward to using this ... because I have the type of personality that can pull it off.

This is 2001 level advice. This only works if the girl is attracted.
If they are not. You are a creep in their eyes.

 

[derby1]

If they are not. You are a creep in their eyes.

so its great advice then , i have a friend who uses the wave button hes so attractive to women.....they literally carry the conversation with him from the wave button.......yet apparently they hate the wave button

 

[oldmanofthesea]

This is 2001 level advice.

I read this same exact advice in 2001

This is 2001 level advice.

Hahaha

 

[Glassguy]

Men with a solid frame go after what they want.

Asking if a women has a bf is asking her for permission to go after what you want. Not a solid frame.
She will tell you if she has a bf if she actually does or if she is not interested.

Until she tells you, its a green light to approach and ask her to join for drinks.

 

[bcude]

I agree with never asking if she has a boyfriend. It's comes off as almost approval seeking "so are you available or not because if you aren't i feel i have NO rights talking to you and i also want to make this abit awkward". High value guys don't care, you spread value and have a green light mentality, not an insecure red light mentality. This bleeds through the way you present yourself. Why even put her on the spot like that. If she has one she will tell you anyway.

 

[Spaz]

I've seen a few people talk about this so I'm going to explain it my own way:

• It tells her you don't understand the social reality that most attractive women always have guys in their orbit/rotation and are never truly single.
• It tells her you don't understand that there are many shades of grey in male-female relationships and instead you think it's just "single" or "in a committed relationship with one person." This translates to her forming an opinion that you are very inexperienced (and rightfully so).
• It tells her you want to be her boyfriend. Why would you want to be her boyfriend if you only just met her? Even if this is not your intention, it puts a lot of pressure on her immediately. In her mind, she is likely thinking, "WOAH slow down there buddy.... I don't even know you."
• It eliminates an entitled mindset that you don't care if she has a boyfriend or not - You are so good that even if she has one, she would still be interested in you. Even if you wouldn't want a girl who monkey branches from her boyfriend up to you, that is besides the point.... it's the mindset, entitlement, and experience you are communicating to her by not caring.
• She could have a boyfriend that she's on the outs with and looking for a reason to finally move-on

If she has a boyfriend, she will tell you. And even then, it's often not true or not entirely accurate and is a test of your confidence. You must consider the way in which she says it, and if it is congruent with her other actions.

For example, are you talking for 5 minutes with her and when you then escalate to get a number or ask her out on a date she says, "Oh, I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend so it wouldn't be right," and starts walking away? That girl probably does have a boyfriend. Or in the conversation at some point, does she say, "Just to let you know, I have a boyfriend," but she doesn't walk away and when you basically ignore it and change the subject, she keeps talking to you and you are getting flirty vibes? In that case, she may or may not have a boyfriend, her boyfriend could be a guy who lives 1,000 miles away who she's been having issues with, or she could have 5 boyfriends, or or or or or....... If she's still talking to you and still flirting, she is likely open to you. So proceed as if she didn't mention it.

I'm always baffled with the way you guys can think like a chick or at least claim to know what's on a chicks mind.

Why r u even thinking abt what they think?

And also who cares if they have boyfriend's?

It's already a well know fact that a woman or girl will lie through her teeth when she is in front of a more viable man.

That makes this totally useless.

And the way you think right now is the mindset that determines ur frame.

 

[MatureDJ]

I don't think this is good advice. If she actually does have a boyfriend that she cares about, then you're wasting your time. if she doesn't have a boyfriend, she is not very interested; now that said, she could be converted by continuing on - but then that brings up the question of whether she is worthy of you. I'd rather a gal that look upon me as enough of a prize that she had better not mention anything about a boyfriend.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Men with a solid frame go after what they want.

Asking if a women has a bf is asking her for permission to go after what you want. Not a solid frame.
She will tell you if she has a bf if she actually does or if she is not interested.

Until she tells you, its a green light to approach and ask her to join for drinks.

Now what if she tells you she has a boyfriend in the middle of the date, or right as you're in bed with her? Would you call that more of a "not interested" or a sh*t test?

I'm assuming the same applies to married women as well but it's probably a bit riskier lol.

 

[Glassguy]

Now what if she tells you she has a boyfriend in the middle of the date, or right as you're in bed with her? Would you call that more of a "not interested" or a sh*t test?

I'm assuming the same applies to married women as well but it's probably a bit riskier lol.

Just means she wants your D but you can smash as long as you act cool and dont make a big deal out of it

 

[nicksaiz65]

Just means she wants your D but you can smash as long as you act cool and dont make a big deal out of it

Women are never truly taken huh lol

 

[Glassguy]

Women are never truly taken huh lol

Only rented. Never owned.

 

[devilkingx2]

It tells her you don't understand the social reality that most attractive women always have guys in their orbit/rotation and are never truly single.

It tells her you don't understand that there are many shades of grey in male-female relationships and instead you think it's just "single" or "in a committed relationship with one person." This translates to her forming an opinion that you are very inexperienced (and rightfully so).

Both of these only really apply to hoes, girls who can't commit and love to manipulate and play with her toys. The girls who are anything like this are FWB/plate material only.

But being hot and single is a thing even for celebrities, so there are definitely HB9s out there that don't need to lie and cheat for you to fvck them lol.

It tells her you want to be her boyfriend. Why would you want to be her boyfriend if you only just met her? Even if this is not your intention, it puts a lot of pressure on her immediately. In her mind, she is likely thinking, "WOAH slow down there buddy.... I don't even know you."

It is fair that girls may take it this way, but i feel like when asking most guys are trying to figure out if they're gonna have some guy picking a fight with them over this girl soon or if the girl is too taken to be worth your time (I knew a girl who had a baby daddy, a boyfriend and a female FWB and she was still open to **** on the side but not into dating anyone else.)

• She could have a boyfriend that she's on the outs with and looking for a reason to finally move-on

If she has a boyfriend, she will tell you. And even then, it's often not true or not entirely accurate and is a test of your confidence. You must consider the way in which she says it, and if it is congruent with her other actions.

I feel like the most important thing to know is how you'll be treated in a relationship (if she's cheating now she'll cheat later) and what to expect from the girl (if she's a massive hoe that fvcks tons of people behind her boyfriends back yet she's not fvcking you quick and easy? Get out of there bro)

 

[Trump]

Or in the conversation at some point, does she say, "Just to let you know, I have a boyfriend," but she doesn't walk away and when you basically ignore it and change the subject, she keeps talking to you and you are getting flirty vibes? In that case, she may or may not have a boyfriend, her boyfriend could be a guy who lives 1,000 miles away who she's been having issues with, or she could have 5 boyfriends, or or or or or....... If she's still talking to you and still flirting, she is likely open to you. So proceed as if she didn't mention it.

In my opinion, if she says “I have a boyfriend” at any point in the conversation, you have cut your losses and get out. If she mentions it and you still proceed, even if she talking to you and still flirting, she will rightly assume “wow, this guy knows I have a boyfriend doesn’t care. Guess if I‘m his girlfriend I can do the same thing I’m doing now.”

Come on men, surely you can single available girls to go out with.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

A lot of women get into placeholder relationships either out of boredom or for validation because they don't want to be the only "single" one in their group. But when a guy they really like comes along, she's pulling him to the bathroom and trying to have his kids with no effort on his part.

When you are part of the "sex club" you know that 90% of relationships are just a front.

It’s not even that bro, most of these women genuinely believe they love their men. They just hangs who they are based on the social situation they’re in. And if you‘re grounded within yourself strongly enough, while also being ‘that guy’, women you control the social situation strongly enough to where she changes who she is FOR YOU.

Such is the dimorphism between testosterone and estrogen...

 

[backseatjuan]

It's one of those boyfriend questions asking if she has a boyfriend. It's as if you asking her permission on talking to her. It's absolutely beta. It is also validation for her, because you are chasing her and she is in position to say no, by saying yes. Women are way to passive to say no, and by saying this beta question you giving her a good opportunity to say no by not saying no, and you give her a good excuse to say yes I do, by being beta lul.

However, this question might fly if you are a rock star or famous celebrity, or in situations where her saying yes automatically disqualifies her from your circle.

Leonardo Di caprio: do you have a boyfriend?
Girl: yes I do
Leonardo Di caprio: ok my bad, bye.

Thus never say never, it could be used in certain situations even by you and me to disqualify a girl.