Why Women Mention Other Men Even IF They Are Interested in You!

Wyldfire

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This is very important information. After talking with a man in chat yesterday I wanted to make this post. There is a woman who he told me about who I believe so obviously is interested in him. He doesn't think she is because she has told him about other men who are after her.

Think about it guys...don't DJs try to use other women wanting them as a way to look MORE desirable to other women...specifically one they want? Women are no different in this respect. We just tell a man we are interested in that he has competition this way.

Women will use this tactic on you if she likes you and wants you to make a move on her. If she senses you are interested in her and you aren't acting on that fast enough she will tell you about other guys she COULD be dating. She wants you to think that you need to beat the other guys out by asking her out first. This is about Challenge and Social Proof more than anything else.

So...if a woman is showing you other signs of interest and drops in comments about other guys who want her...act soon. This is one of the last hidden signals a woman will give you before beginning to lose interest. She's trying to tell you "Quit stalling already! I want you to ask me out and am tired of waiting!" If you don't act soon her interest level is probably going to start dropping at this point.
 

Raoul

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It's nothing but BRAGGING. It's her way of trying to put a guy back in his place...at the foot of her pedestal, so to speak.

DJ's use social proof to elevate their status in other women's eyes. It is a subtle form of showing that we are in demand, that we are worth something, and that there IS competition for us. I, and I'm sure many others here, do NOT tell a chick outright that "Hey, so-and-so has been pestering me for a date" or "so-and-so always calls me and asks me out". Not only is that silly it's just not classy.

If a chick keeps banging on about this guy who wants to date her, and that guy who always calls for a date, she's doing nothing but trying to brag about a probably non-existent social situation. Her interest level in you is low. Think back to your AFC days guys...you would NEVER tell your pedestal-nazi that this other girl may have the hots for you. You know the idea would annoy her. A girl who is interested in you will also know not to bring up the subject in such a blatant way as she too knows it would annoy you. Ever hear the phrase : Gentlemen don't kiss and tell? I never tell people who I'm dating, or who is interested in me. But because of the way I carry myself, they KNOW. Because of what happens at parties and social gatherings, they KNOW. They do NOT need me to yammer about my conspicuous sex appeal to them. They know it for themselves.

Wyldfire, you're completely off on this.

- Raoul
 

Sociopath31

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I think it depends on the situation she describes. If shesays there are guys after her, she's interested. If she talks about her experiences with guys, she isn't.
 

gettingthere

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Good point, Wyldfire. In this case, as you mentioned, she has already given plenty of other signals [to the AFC you were chatting with], so this could be one of her last attempts before moving on.

Encourage that guy to ask for her number and ask her out. Because he is interested, he should have asked her out a long time ago. That would also have eliminated her need to resort to these 'last ditch' attempts to get him to ask her out.
 

BGMan

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Hey, Wyldfire, have you done that yourself?

Personally, if a girl appears interested in me, and has no BF or anything, and I'm interested in her, I'll probably ask for the number at some point.

However, if she starts talking to me about other guys, I'll just think that she's a flirt or has "been around" a lot. And that's not appealing to me.

BGMan
 

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Jwheatly

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Wyldfyre has a point. There are some women who try to bring up other men to make you more interested, but regardless of the fact.

IT IS STILL DISRESPECTFUL.

If a chick has the nerve to do it, you should have the nerve to call her out on it.

If you don't then her interest level might even go down further.

A don juan's job is to always continually raise a womans interest level in him.

A don juan should not care about the motives behind the disrespect. If he is disrespected he should do something about it.

Eevn if the girls interest level is -1 there is still always a chance....
 

Pook

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Real men do not analyze the woman. If she is single, and he wants her, he should go after her no matter what sign she displays.

But since we are talking about signs, we are entering the bizzarre realm of ********!

Bold will be the WHOA-man. Italics will the ******** Translator. Regular Text will be what Da pooky is saying.

NOTE: For the below to be true, the conversation must be one on one.

Second Note For the below to remain true, the 'examples' MUST be initiated by the WHOA-man.

Let us begin:

My boyfriend came and gave me this AWESOME gift. We're going to New York tomorrow.

It is quite possible that she wants you.

But beware! A girl talking about her boyfriend means, most importantly, that she is taken. However, she may want to be STOLEN.

"Stolen, Pook! What do you mean?"

Gentlemen, it is a fine fact that many woman will not dump one boyfriend until they have a grip on the next. These women would rather be with BOREfriend than to be single. She may very well wish to be stolen.

I love my boyfriend sooo much! Everything in life is so much better with my boyfriend! He makes me feel so warm and fuzzy!

Get away from her; she is vomitting her emotions.

When a woman tells you how she FEELS about the guy, she is either in love or you are low interest or both.

THIS is the crucial difference: when a woman informs you of the actions the boyfriend is taking, she is using social proof (trying to show you that she is in demand). When a woman informs you of her feelings, especially if those feelings are positive of the guy, then there is nothing going on between you.

"Why's that, Pook?"

This should be written in stone: When she does girl-talk, you become her girly-friend.

Girls do not girl-talk their romantic interests.

You should have seen this guy. He came up to me, took my hand, and said, "You are beautiful! Will you go out with me!?"

She wants you to know several things. 1) She is desired. 2) She is beatiful. She wants you to know these things because she wants you to ask her out.

Well said, ******** Translator!

I was placing the tapioca pudding back onto the shelf when I felt someone looking at me. I turned and saw this man checking me out! It felt SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good! You hear me? It felt SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good! Man, it felt good. Oh, you have no idea how good it felt. It felt GOOD. REALLY good. Oh, you don't know how GOOD!"

Although the above is exaggerated [Understatement of the century- Sosuave.com] the point is that the woman is flopping her emotions out. She is not interested. You are in Friend-Zone.

Hellish friend-zone! But the translator is right. The last example had the focus on the GUY and HIS actions. This example has the focus on the WOMAN and HER FEELINGS. You are being used as an emotional tampon here, beware.

My breasts are too big! It hurts my back. It gives me back problems.

It is quite possible she is thinking of you in a sexual way.

Unless you are a doctor, this is good news. [If you are a doctor, it is more money which is better news- Sosuave.com] Women with large breasts are much more comfortable with discussing them (for the large breasts often become the center of attention with most guys). She is most likely aroused. If not, then with her course of current talk she soon will be.

I'm trying on new underwear and seeing how my butt looks! (she squeals in front of the mirror)

She wants you.

She wants you.

She is mentioning her butt (she wants you to notice it!), and she is mentioning her underwear (she is comfortable talking about it to you).

When a woman likes you, she will try to show off her body (and when a woman does not like you, she will try to hide her body). This example is the woman showing off her body through words.

Are you gay?

Well? ARE YOU?

If you really are fruity, you will be asked this. Other guys should have asked this to you if you really are fruity (and with threats to back it up).

But let us try this again.

Are you gay?

Why won't you go out with me (or anyone)?

If you happened to be handsome or really cute, girls will try to go out with you. If you say no (haha!), she will think to herself, "All these girls want to go out with him and he won't go out with any of them. What is wrong with him? IS HE GAY!?"

Girls wondering if you're gay can be the ultimate compliment. Think. They are already thinking of you in a sexual context. They want you to go out with them. When you don't, they ask the gay question.

(Remember, guys, when Adonis, the style master, got asked the "Are you gay?" question? Although gay guys can and do dress stylishly, the woman wants to know if you are gay or not BECAUSE SHE WANTS YOU.)

Ahh, another ******** lesson is over with. Join us again next time on the same forum, same host, and same website.

Oh, and excellent job, translator!

Why, thank you Pook.

And remember guys, if you go 'sign reading', the best guide is your gut.

------------------
Pook
"As you think, you shall become."
"The biggest risk you can take is not to risk at all."
 

Wyldfire

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Originally posted by Raoul:
It's nothing but BRAGGING. It's her way of trying to put a guy back in his place...at the foot of her pedestal, so to speak.

DJ's use social proof to elevate their status in other women's eyes. It is a subtle form of showing that we are in demand, that we are worth something, and that there IS competition for us. I, and I'm sure many others here, do NOT tell a chick outright that "Hey, so-and-so has been pestering me for a date" or "so-and-so always calls me and asks me out". Not only is that silly it's just not classy.

If a chick keeps banging on about this guy who wants to date her, and that guy who always calls for a date, she's doing nothing but trying to brag about a probably non-existent social situation. Her interest level in you is low. Think back to your AFC days guys...you would NEVER tell your pedestal-nazi that this other girl may have the hots for you. You know the idea would annoy her. A girl who is interested in you will also know not to bring up the subject in such a blatant way as she too knows it would annoy you. Ever hear the phrase : Gentlemen don't kiss and tell? I never tell people who I'm dating, or who is interested in me. But because of the way I carry myself, they KNOW. Because of what happens at parties and social gatherings, they KNOW. They do NOT need me to yammer about my conspicuous sex appeal to them. They know it for themselves.

Wyldfire, you're completely off on this.

- Raoul

Raoul...I do this same thing myself sometimes for the same reason I gave. If I am interested in a guy and he acts interested in me but is moving too slow I will let him know if someone else has asked me out or whatever in an attempt to set off a firecracker underneath his ass.
 

Wyldfire

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LMAO! Pook...my tip doesn't apply to girls with boyfriends. Guys shouldn't be messing with taken girls. If they leave their b/f for you they'll do the same thing to you.

I was definitely talking about telling a man that someone asked you out or hit on you. That almost always means that she wants you to ask her out and you just aren't moving fast enough and she subconsciously thinks this will make you act if you think you have competition. And, ultimately ask her out.

Your translations are right on, by the way.
 

Wyldfire

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Originally posted by BGMan:
Hey, Wyldfire, have you done that yourself?

Personally, if a girl appears interested in me, and has no BF or anything, and I'm interested in her, I'll probably ask for the number at some point.

However, if she starts talking to me about other guys, I'll just think that she's a flirt or has "been around" a lot. And that's not appealing to me.

BGMan
Yes, I have...and quite successfully so. Guys are naturally competitive...moreso than women are. DJs should be aware that women do this and why. Look at Pook's "translation" post. If the girl is telling you about guys that are after her, she DOES like you and has high interest. If she talks about her boyfriend or tells you how crazy she is about another guy, she has low interest. Learn to differentiate the meanings so as not to mistake genuine interest for disinterest. I realize you aren't supposed to "analyze", but this is not different than watching for other signs of interest...and this IS a big one.
 

Wyldfire

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Originally posted by Jwheatly:
Wyldfyre has a point. There are some women who try to bring up other men to make you more interested, but regardless of the fact.

IT IS STILL DISRESPECTFUL.

If a chick has the nerve to do it, you should have the nerve to call her out on it.

If you don't then her interest level might even go down further.

A don juan's job is to always continually raise a womans interest level in him.

A don juan should not care about the motives behind the disrespect. If he is disrespected he should do something about it.

Eevn if the girls interest level is -1 there is still always a chance....
Men see it as disresepctful because of this: Men are thinking about this in regards to what they would be doing with those interested girls. SInce men don't get approached as much, if a girl hits on them and he is at all attracted to her he is usually going to be pretty receptive of her assertiveness. Women don't do that because we are used to being the one that gets pursued. If a woman tells you that so and so asked her out or hit on her...she rejected him. She would not tell you about a guy who hit on her that she was actually interested in...only the ones she isn't. I know it makes very little sense, but that's how it goes.
 

JuanWannabe

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LOL! I LOVE POOK'S POSTS!
Always great advice. I always learn something new.

Every one should recieve a regular shot of "pook" to keep them on the right track (DJ-DOM) and avoid the wrong one (CHUMPDOM).

Thanks Pook!
 

GorillaPimp

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Wlydfire....I will have to say this is the best tip of the week. I have always been a little shaky when women bring up other guys but you cleared it up. It all depends on interest. Like you said if she is doing things for you..showing you signs of interest and she says something about another guy..She is using it as a challenge. On the other side, if you have been going out w/ her for awhile and she is not calling as much, always busy..showing signes of a low interest level..and she brings up another guy...Most likely this is the guy she likes now...and she will be dumping you real soon.....

Good Advice....Wlydfire
 

Jwheatly

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I understand what you are saying about how woman can use different things as signs of thier interest. Such as, in rare cases talk about other men.

BUT

High Interest Or Low Interest, I don't give a flying ****. If a woman starts discussing other men, in an overtly sexual way, I will quickly change the topic.

Why? Because I am not gay, and do not care for that type of conversation. I am not scared in any way or form to say NO!. Infact if i do not like anything a woman is doing, I will tell her. Why should i have to be with a chick who I don't like being around?

But....If she wants to tell me about all the seedy details of her homosexual past, then i am all for it
.



[This message has been edited by Jwheatly (edited 11-30-2001).]
 

Wyldfire

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Originally posted by GorillaPimp:
Wlydfire....I will have to say this is the best tip of the week. I have always been a little shaky when women bring up other guys but you cleared it up. It all depends on interest. Like you said if she is doing things for you..showing you signs of interest and she says something about another guy..She is using it as a challenge. On the other side, if you have been going out w/ her for awhile and she is not calling as much, always busy..showing signes of a low interest level..and she brings up another guy...Most likely this is the guy she likes now...and she will be dumping you real soon.....

Good Advice....Wlydfire
Thanks!
 
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Wyldfire

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Wheaty...calm down a second. I'm not talking about her going into sordid deatails of sexual encounters with other men! I'm saying that if she makse comments like "Toby has been flirting with me an awful lot lately. I think he might like me." or "Josh keeps asking me out. I don't think I want to go out with HIM, though."

Those kinds of comments are almost guaranteed to mean that the girl is telling you it's YOU she wants.
 

CHALENGE GUY

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Excellent post.

Listen guy : here's the deal :

FEMALE : attract male
MALE : approach her

Let me tell you something, shying away (or waiting to be in the right mood) will only decrease her interest level. It is your role to ask her out, not hers. Waiting means entering the dreaded zone where it feels ackward to ask her phone number because you both get mixed signals form each other.
When she starts mentionning other guys : she's saying

GRAB YOUR FREAKIN BALLS STUPID
 

BGMan

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Originally posted by Wyldfire:
Yes, I have...and quite successfully so. Guys are naturally competitive...moreso than women are. DJs should be aware that women do this and why. Look at Pook's "translation" post. If the girl is telling you about guys that are after her, she DOES like you and has high interest. If she talks about her boyfriend or tells you how crazy she is about another guy, she has low interest. Learn to differentiate the meanings so as not to mistake genuine interest for disinterest. I realize you aren't supposed to "analyze", but this is not different than watching for other signs of interest...and this IS a big one.
Okay, let me get this straight:

LOW INTEREST: Mentions her boyfriend to you or tells you how cute she thinks some guy is. This makes sense. If a girl tells me about her fella, or even if she does NOT but I find out via a third party, I ALWAYS make tracks. It doesn't matter if she is showing high interest or whatever.

For instance, just recently a certain girl in college seemed to be showing an interest in me, so I got her number. But it also happened to be the same number of a guy whom I know is also a college student. I suspect it was 100% platonic on her part after all!

HIGH INTEREST: If she mentions how some guy hit on her. Well here I might suspect that I'm in her LJBF zone because she told ME about some guy hitting on her, and if I did it ALSO, she'd go "WTF?! Et tu, Brute? I thought we were just friends!"

But your alternative explanation will make me think a bit. If she is giving me signs and shows no romantic interest in that other guy, I might go for it.

Thanks!

BGMan
 

Wyldfire

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BG...just watch for the other signs of interest. This isn't something you should go on by itself, obviously. If she sees you as a friend only she will tell you if she likes that other guy. If she doesn't tell you stuff like that...she is interested. One more "rundown".

1) She mentions her boyfriend...don't even go there or bother no matter how interested she seems. She is not one who values or respects men she is with.

2) She tells you she likes another guy, is interested in another guy, or about sleeping with or seeing another guy...she sees you as a friend.

3) She tells you about other guys wanting her, hitting on her, asking her out, flirting with her...she wants you to notice that she is desirable to other men and want her too because YOU are the one she likes. Ask these girls out if you like them.
 

BGMan

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Originally posted by CHALENGE GUY:
Excellent post.

Listen guy : here's the deal :

FEMALE : attract male
MALE : approach her

When she starts mentionning other guys : she's saying

GRAB YOUR FREAKIN BALLS STUPID
Another great post by CHALENGE GUY! We men always must do the approaching otherwise NOTHING will happen! (in normal circumstances)

Thanks for all your posts too, Wyldfire. 9999 thumbs up!


BGMan
 
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