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Why the Knock on Providers?

Pedrito0906

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If the girl stays with him because he pays for weekend trips out of town and every few months for trips to some tourist attraction/seaside whatever (that she then posts on IG) and she takes her to expensive restaurants and so on, then he's a beta in my view. You can be well off and not enjoy spending money that way...maybe you like to invest it in the stock market, or save it to purchase a home....if the girl is happy being with you while taking a walk in the local park and cooking dinner in your kitchen, then you're alpha. An alpha makes sure the girl is with him for him, not for his money...just as a quality girl makes sure the guy is with her for her, not just for access to the box.
So what happens if a girls enjoys those trips and cooks dinner for me? Cleans the house from time to time without me asking and pays on dates too?. It isn't that considered the whole package for a girl? A good looking man, with exciting things to do and financially well? Is that so rare today? A well financially guy, good looking with an exciting life?
 

pipeman84

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So what happens if a girls enjoys those trips and cooks dinner for me? Cleans the house from time to time without me asking and pays on dates too?. It isn't that considered the whole package for a girl? A good looking man, with exciting things to do and financially well? Is that so rare today? A well financially guy, good looking with an exciting life?
Nothing wrong with a girl enjoying trips as long as she pays her share. If she starts giving you sh!t that although you could afford it, you don't take her to the various places where IG h*es go...then alarm bells should go off.
 

BackInTheGame78

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The knock is that the woman has chosen to "settle" for that guy.

The provider has nothing to do with how much money they make...it infers the woman is dating you for something other than being sexually attracted to you...

It's a "safe option" but not what they really want.

You could make a lot of money but not be a "provider"
 

BeExcellent

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Advice from the old lady:

This is a classic thread. Seriously. Women look for men who are capable of handling financial responsibility for a family for marriage IF they want to have children. Why is that? Pregnancy and childbirth is perilous. You can end up on bed rest, you could be seriously injured giving birth, you might medically require a longer recovery period, FMLA aside.

Or, as is usual in affluent families, you might want the mother of you child to be able to focus on being a good mother and caregiver and wife. That is luxury and is itself a status symbol. The luxury of the man being able to be the breadwinner and provide a comfortable life for his family, and affording this requires financial means. Families who have this luxury/status look down on the two income households, since the two income households can’t afford the lifestyle on single breadwinner income alone.

I was kind of a Sigma in this way as I was a female sole breadwinner in my first marriage for decades. So I was at once respected and rejected among the stay at home moms in my social circles. Our dynamic was backwards, and my first husband was not held in high esteem but rather dissed by the men who were providing for their families. We didn’t fit the mold and were not fully accepted as a result.

Nothing wrong with that.

Now. You want a woman who wants you for you, and obviously who has sexual desire for you, but any quality woman with an eye toward marriage and family is going to consider your financial ability as part of your total package. I personally do not seek out men solely for financial means, but if a man does not have his life together in that way? Pass. ALL men I would consider are attractive and well off. That’s how it is. Those are prerequisites. From there you look for compatibility and so on.

That is how any healthy self esteem sought after attractive woman is going to size up a guy. Just as men size up women based on total package.

Providers get smeared around here because certain men who have not accomplished much in life in a success oriented way are jealous/envious of provider type men since these men know they are “less-than” in comparison.

Yes women want the rockstar-banker combo someone mentioned above. And those rockstar-banker types? They exist and they get the best quality women. I have one. So men who know they lack by comparison are jealous. Hell, my first husband is jealous of my fiancé.

My father was an Alpha provider all his life, as were ALL the elder male relatives in my family.

Chumps are chumps no matter how much they earn. If all a man brings to the table is money? Sure he can get a gold digger woman who is just as one dimensional as he is.

Water always seeks its own level gentleman.

Cheers
 
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thermodynamic

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You can be a provider , you can impose respect - but if you are not sexually attractive , the girl will long to be impregnated by another man.
 
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