"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Why the hell do I get nervous when girls make convos awkward???

nando

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My convo's with girls are very awkward even though I know a lot are checking me out, and it puts me off approaching those who don't check me out because it's like I already expect the convo to be awkward. I ask them a question that is broad and they hit me with one word answers and don't even look me in the face! please guys help me deal with this, it is becoming very awkward for me because it makes me more nervous as if I ****ed up. I am getting frustrated with this ****:(
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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nando

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hey guys I am not nervous to approach, it just once they give me ****ty answers i get nervous cuz I don't know what to do now cuz it feels awkward as hell, rarely do I meet chicks who are confident and give me proper replies and we vibe well. It fukkin sucks and is very depressing.
 

Obsidian

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lol, just keep at it, man. It sounds like you're kinda freaking out over a learning process. In any case, don't feel like the whole responsibility is on you to make things work. The woman has to respond properly or else nothing will happen. If she won't make any decent conversation back, just say "well it was nice to meet you [name]" and move on.

As a general rule...
Once you show enough personality to make a girl interested in you (and sometimes even before that point if all she cares about is looks and demeanor), an interested girl will make things easy for you. If she doesn't make it easy for you, you're probably still doing things fine, but you should bail because she's just using you to avoid boredom. Never let a girl use you only because she's got nothing better to do than hang out with you.
 

verysuave

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Yeah i hear ya, its all about how you open. I'm trying to fine tune my game also.

I try to avoid questions/openers like.. how are you? how you been?or where you from? it usually leads to awkwardness.

By all possible means, i try open with, you look like you've had a rough day or you look like you don't wanna be hear right now or, you look like your having a good week. It just feels like it opens them up more and they can tell you whats bothering them.. whether its family, friends, bla bla bla, yady yada.
 

verysuave

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i think statements are better than questions In my opinion because you are not forcing the other person to respond to it. ANd at the same time, u DONT expect an answer back
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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verysuave

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nando

which opener would you feel comfortable answering and not lead to awkwardness

"Hi, nando, how you been?"

VS

"Hi nando, you look like you've had a rough day" / "you look very energetic today"
 

nando

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thanks verysuave and obisidian, I appreciate what guys said, that's some good advice. I will try it out and see what happens next time I go out, I am guessing it's the questions that maybe a problem like you guys said.
 
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