"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Why not or really not?

Trance

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After ignoring my ex for like 1 month (we broke up like 2 months ago), she wanted to go for a cofee or something. I told her i was busy when she called latter cause i didnt answer her sms. 15 days latter, she calls me for another cofee or some ****. Im really not into her anymore, im 100% sure of that, i dont like many things in her and i dont feel the danger of falling for her, so why not.

I met her at college, she invited me to go for a walk, a movie and so, we went, all ok, no hard feelings. Meanwhile, she had told me in this day that since she broke up with the guy she was dating, and she had made dates with 3 other guys that involved kissing, and then lost interest in them. The only guy involved sex was the guy she dated since me, and that now she broke up.

So i think, humm what she really wants? If she wants so, why not have another girl for sex? So i talk to her asking if she would like to have a relation like having sex, and talking to eachother about girls/boys, asking advice and that kinda stuff. She says she's really not interested in sex with me, and that she only wants with someone she loves. The i told her if she had any problem by me asking that, and she said no, she wasnt bothered. After that when im talking to some girls at msn, she comes sit on my lap saying she wants to talk a bit, what she really wanted was to sneak my contacts to see who im talking to (girls), and how many.

Well, my story, i really feel the same after having asked her if she wanted casual sex, what are your toughts about this guys?
Btw, im going out for the next 5 days to diferent cities of the country for making aproaches, with the first 2 members of the portuguese DJ club eheh I'll make field reports on that ones for sure.

Best regards DJ's
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Reto

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No offense, but without sex, you're her GIRL FRIEND!

I have done it so many times. When I get in a situation like that, I find I don't pursue real relationships like I should. Best to keep the friendship to a minimum and seek our your own girl friend...
 

DJ_Dork

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Originally posted by Reto
No offense, but without sex, you're her GIRL FRIEND!

I have done it so many times. When I get in a situation like that, I find I don't pursue real relationships like I should. Best to keep the friendship to a minimum and seek our your own girl friend...
Agreed! =)
 

ScrewIt

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even tho she's ur ex, u guys can stil lbe friends.

great way of meeting chicks is through another girl (her)
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Cremasta

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Originally posted by ScrewIt
great way of meeting chicks is through another girl (her)
Good in theory, but women can be quite possessive of their exes, just like guys can. I can't see her trying to hook you up with one of her friends. Could be wrong though...

She is an ex, so you have hopefully gotten past the bull$hit stage with her. Just tell her that unless you are getting something out of it (i.e. sex) then you would rather not have an ex-gf hanging around too much because you will be busy scoring with other women.

You are just friends now, remember? No need to be embarrassed about chasing other women, or to hide it from her. She doesn't feel THAT WAY about you anymore... or does she? Flirt with her and see where it takes you.
 

Reto

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Personally, When I've been friends with ex's, I don't pursue other women when the ex is still in the picture.

That's just me. Maybe it can be done, but I can't...
 

Trance

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Persuing other women when she is in the picture is exactly the same, or even funnier cause altough not admiting, there is always the bit possessive stuff in your mind.
Well, i can be friends with her now, i really see her the way she is now, i see the things i dont like about her, i see a pretty girl that knows a lot about me after a long LTR, and that i know a lot about too, and that's it. I know it wouldnt work if we would try again, so im really cool with it now.
Well, she didnt mind me asking about having sex or not, she sms'ed me today again asking where i was, prolly to hang out at college or something.

About last night, i went with 2 friends DJing to a nice city. Nice talking to some girls, some # numbers gotten, and 1 of my friends made out with a chick in the dance floor, so it was a nice 1st DJ club going out.
 

Trogdawg

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Drop her, she just wants to see if she can get you back as security. Be acuantinces(SP?) but nothing more. Do not let her back in she will just leave again.
 
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