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Why must you "walk a girl home"?

Seán Kelly

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So recently I was out with my girlfriend and after the night was over everything was great, no worries.

Subsequently, I noticed my bus was leaving soon and she said it was ok for me to go get it. I realized 10 seconds after I ran off that I should have walked her to her bus because she was pretty drunk. So I ran back but lost her in the crowd. In my defense, I was also pretty drunk, so I guess my decision making skills weren't on point.

Anyway, later that night she told me that basically I was Hitler for not walking her home and the argument has lasted several days now.

In general though, people always say that walking a girl home (or in this case to the bus stop) is "the right thing to do", and I just cannot understand this. I messaged to make sure she got home safe, but apparently that's not enough. It just seems like women want to be equal to men in life, but not when it comes to stuff like this, they expect to be treated a certain way and I don't expect any such things from her. In my mind it just seems really contradictory, I honestly don't understand what's going on here, if I should accept it, look for another GF, or compromise with her?

Probably worth mentioning that this is my first serious relationship, and I don't know much about this stuff.
 

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SeekerOfTheWay

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My opinion as a female. We are not “equal “ when it comes to physical strength. This is pretty obvious. When you walk alone at night are you concerned with being raped or mugged? Most men aren’t concerned with that because they can defend themselves. We are constantly concerned with the threat of physical violence when alone at night unless in a super safe area. And even then sometimes. It’s s REAL threat for us. You don’t have to be scared of a women grabbing you and raping you. Not saying this is fair, it just is reality.

It’s such a sweet, caring and DOMINANT gesture when a man walks us home or to the car. It signals they will take care of us in that way. To me it’s a huge turn on.

Also, what you see in the media or the vocal minority is not necessarily what most women want. Equal rights doesn’t mean we don’t like men to be men.
 

wifehunter

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Own your dumb mistakes and move on.
 

sazc

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Didn't you post this very same thing a few months ago?
 
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Dash Riprock

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This is an interesting post by OP. I see he's 32, a Millennial. Yeah, they get hammered all the time. I'm not going to do that. His question, and some may suggest is ignorant, but it is not 100% his fault.

This is the society we now live in. I'll explain my "theory" which I feel is 98% correct:

OP was a brought up by parents and in a school system that taught boys and girls are equal and girls can do anything and everything a boy can do. Maybe OP had sisters too that further validated and pontificated on this point. Throw in a bona fide feminist for a mother and OP has been programmed through years of rhetoric, that boys and girls are identical.

Call me Old School, but I strongly believe God/Creator/The Universe/Evolution--whatever---made males and females different for reasons beyond reproduction. You see it in nature all the time. BUT, with humans, especially the past 10-25 years, themes like #metoo, toxic masculinity, and more and more men becoming feminized has resulted in a blurring of the lines between what a "man" is/does and what a "woman" is/does aside from different body parts.

I grew up in time where men walked a woman home because it was widely accepted and known that is was the thing to do. A number of reasons for this as have been mentioned.

But now, with a blurring of the gender role lines, I can actually see a guy OP's age questioning it. I'll never forget the time at the gym about 8 years ago when I held the door open for a female fitness instructor; maybe 35, fit, attractive. She looked at me, said nothing, but the look on her face said "I can get it!" 100%. That's when I knew things had changed.

I was watching this show on HBO called Euphoria. It's made for a 16-25-year-old audience but I tuned in and it was actually quite good. One girl on the show said now, in 2019, sexual preference is a "spectrum" and her peers agreed. A spectrum now? Well, if it is, I can confidently say my needle is buried in the red zone on the heterosexual side of the "spectrum."

So, this brings up the question/argument: If women still want to be walked home, have chairs pulled out, have men ask them out, men ask them to get married, etc., all the "traditional" things, is it right or fair for women to also to expect to be treated as 100% equals in every facet of life? Kind of sounds like playing both sides of the fence. I'm a bit perplexed I must say. Maybe some of the female SS posters could chime in here.

So, back to OP. Based on his upbringing and programming, he simply may not know any other way than what was pounded into his developing brain for so many years: Men and Women are 100% Equals--period.

Me? I'm still of the thought that women worth having still appreciate a man to do the manly things of 20-50 years ago, so I’ll continue to do them.
 

SoSuave666

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This is an interesting post by OP. I see he's 32, a Millennial. Yeah, they get hammered all the time. I'm not going to do that. His question, and some may suggest is ignorant, but it is not 100% his fault.

This is the society we now live in. I'll explain my "theory" which I feel is 98% correct:

OP was a brought up by parents and in a school system that taught boys and girls are equal and girls can do anything and everything a boy can do. Maybe OP had sisters too that further validated and pontificated on this point. Throw in a bona fide feminist for a mother and OP has been programmed through years of rhetoric, that boys and girls are identical.

Call me Old School, but I strongly believe God/Creator/The Universe/Evolution--whatever---made males and females different for reasons beyond reproduction. You see it in nature all the time. BUT, with humans, especially the past 10-25 years, themes like #metoo, toxic masculinity, and more and more men becoming feminized has resulted in a blurring of the lines between what a "man" is/does and what a "woman" is/does aside from different body parts.

I grew up in time where men walked a woman home because it was widely accepted and known that is was the thing to do. A number of reasons for this as have been mentioned.

But now, with a blurring of the gender role lines, I can actually see a guy OP's age questioning it. I'll never forget the time at the gym about 8 years ago when I held the door open for a female fitness instructor; maybe 35, fit, attractive. She looked at me, said nothing, but the look on her face said "I can get it!" 100%. That's when I knew things had changed.

I was watching this show on HBO called Euphoria. It's made for a 16-25-year-old audience but I tuned in and it was actually quite good. One girl on the show said now, in 2019, sexual preference is a "spectrum" and her peers agreed. A spectrum now? Well, if it is, I can confidently say my needle is buried in the red zone on the heterosexual side of the "spectrum."

So, this brings up the question/argument: If women still want to be walked home, have chairs pulled out, have men ask them out, men ask them to get married, etc., all the "traditional" things, is it right or fair for women to also to expect to be treated as 100% equals in every facet of life? Kind of sounds like playing both sides of the fence. I'm a bit perplexed I must say. Maybe some of the female SS posters could chime in here.

So, back to OP. Based on his upbringing and programming, he simply may not know any other way than what was pounded into his developing brain for so many years: Men and Women are 100% Equals--period.

Me? I'm still of the thought that women worth having still appreciate a man to do the manly things of 20-50 years ago, so I’ll continue to do them.
Women expect men to be men and keep up traditional masculine traits. In the meantime, she gets the freedom to act however she pleases and be feminine or not feminine whenever she wants, with absolutely zero repercussions. THATS the society we live in today. If a woman is completely Feminine with me then I am going to be masculine with her, and do traditional masculine things. It’s a natural instinct in all of us, as men.

However, when a woman acts masculine and believes she should be treated in such an equal manner, subconsciously I begin to treat her like more of a man. Walking home a masculine woman doesn’t even trigger because in my mind she is exhibiting traits of manliness. I don’t walk my bros home from the bar or club.

Bottom line if women want to be treated like women, act like fvcking women.
 

Trump

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Also, what you see in the media or the vocal minority is not necessarily what most women want. Equal rights doesn’t mean we don’t like men to be men.
How can it not be what most women want when the laws and public opinion are set up that way. Can’t have your cake and eat it too.

Ideally for men to be men, the laws would be set up to favour the man, and then the man decides if he wants equal rights for the female, not the other way around.
 

Spaz

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I treat all women the same, they could be hardcore feminists or cute feminine women.

It doesn't matter to me either way.

When on a date, I appreciate the time it took them to go through all the fuss just to dress/groom up beautifully to impress me.

I in turn will provide my protection and strength - this is part of masculine leadership.

Which includes walking her to the bus stop.


Failure to adhere = failure in a relationship.

Side note : When a woman no longer amuses me on a continuous basis, she has then by default removed herself from my sphere of influence and no longer enjoys my protection nor strength.

This too is masculine leadership.
 
A

AJ84

Guest
[
This is an interesting post by OP. I see he's 32, a Millennial. Yeah, they get hammered all the time. I'm not going to do that. His question, and some may suggest is ignorant, but it is not 100% his fault.

This is the society we now live in. I'll explain my "theory" which I feel is 98% correct:

OP was a brought up by parents and in a school system that taught boys and girls are equal and girls can do anything and everything a boy can do. Maybe OP had sisters too that further validated and pontificated on this point. Throw in a bona fide feminist for a mother and OP has been programmed through years of rhetoric, that boys and girls are identical.

Call me Old School, but I strongly believe God/Creator/The Universe/Evolution--whatever---made males and females different for reasons beyond reproduction. You see it in nature all the time. BUT, with humans, especially the past 10-25 years, themes like #metoo, toxic masculinity, and more and more men becoming feminized has resulted in a blurring of the lines between what a "man" is/does and what a "woman" is/does aside from different body parts.

I grew up in time where men walked a woman home because it was widely accepted and known that is was the thing to do. A number of reasons for this as have been mentioned.

But now, with a blurring of the gender role lines, I can actually see a guy OP's age questioning it. I'll never forget the time at the gym about 8 years ago when I held the door open for a female fitness instructor; maybe 35, fit, attractive. She looked at me, said nothing, but the look on her face said "I can get it!" 100%. That's when I knew things had changed.

I was watching this show on HBO called Euphoria. It's made for a 16-25-year-old audience but I tuned in and it was actually quite good. One girl on the show said now, in 2019, sexual preference is a "spectrum" and her peers agreed. A spectrum now? Well, if it is, I can confidently say my needle is buried in the red zone on the heterosexual side of the "spectrum."

So, this brings up the question/argument: If women still want to be walked home, have chairs pulled out, have men ask them out, men ask them to get married, etc., all the "traditional" things, is it right or fair for women to also to expect to be treated as 100% equals in every facet of life? Kind of sounds like playing both sides of the fence. I'm a bit perplexed I must say. Maybe some of the female SS posters could chime in here.

So, back to OP. Based on his upbringing and programming, he simply may not know any other way than what was pounded into his developing brain for so many years: Men and Women are 100% Equals--period.

Me? I'm still of the thought that women worth having still appreciate a man to do the manly things of 20-50 years ago, so I’ll continue to do them.
if a woman wants to be treated like a man, then she has no right to be offended when she is treated as one. Don’t ask for it then whine when you get what you want.

So I agree with you. Can’t have it both ways. I know a woman who worked her way up the corporate ladder to become the only female manager in a position that only men had prior to her (she was promoted when the previous male manager retired).

She still expects her own husband, who makes less than her, to pay for expensive dinners and buy her expensive gifts for her birthday and Christmas.

One time she complained that he didn’t shovel the snow one morning and she was late for work because she had to do it. He’s a cop and had been on a night shift so went to bed when he got home at dawn. She had been home for hours and the snow stopped that night well before 10pm so she could of shovelled that sh*t herself but she literally said it’s the man’s job.

B*tch please. I wanted to slap her but she’s a work acquaintance of my husband’s so that would not have gone over too well.
 
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DEEZEDBRAH

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So recently I was out with my girlfriend and after the night was over everything was great, no worries.

Subsequently, I noticed my bus was leaving soon and she said it was ok for me to go get it. I realized 10 seconds after I ran off that I should have walked her to her bus because she was pretty drunk. So I ran back but lost her in the crowd. In my defense, I was also pretty drunk, so I guess my decision making skills weren't on point.

Anyway, later that night she told me that basically I was Hitler for not walking her home and the argument has lasted several days now.

In general though, people always say that walking a girl home (or in this case to the bus stop) is "the right thing to do", and I just cannot understand this. I messaged to make sure she got home safe, but apparently that's not enough. It just seems like women want to be equal to men in life, but not when it comes to stuff like this, they expect to be treated a certain way and I don't expect any such things from her. In my mind it just seems really contradictory, I honestly don't understand what's going on here, if I should accept it, look for another GF, or compromise with her?

Probably worth mentioning that this is my first serious relationship, and I don't know much about this stuff.
Woman are brain damage lololol.

They are chronic followers. They will follow whatever way the wind blows. The iconic from Russia with love Ian Fleming 007 book had a chick who never ****e bond. She was ashamed of her kill count (3). Today, its sloot gonna sloot on steroids. Its 100 + kills but I'm not a slut. #femaleLogic!

There's a lot of indoctrination in chasing education and career, don't need a man or think for her self.

walk her home = SMASH + MATE GUARD!

Its common sense. I walked a chick to her car and a guy got rapey in the process. I nearly beat someone to death.

If I had a moment of clarity to think, i wouldn't consciously make it a decision. I am like every other man am battling eons of evolutionary psychology and genes.

Op, woman want her cake and want to eat it too. Pay no mind what she says. Focus on what she does. Act accordingly.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Women expect men to be men and keep up traditional masculine traits. In the meantime, she gets the freedom to act however she pleases and be feminine or not feminine whenever she wants, with absolutely zero repercussions. THATS the society we live in today. If a woman is completely Feminine with me then I am going to be masculine with her, and do traditional masculine things. It’s a natural instinct in all of us, as men.

However, when a woman acts masculine and believes she should be treated in such an equal manner, subconsciously I begin to treat her like more of a man. Walking home a masculine woman doesn’t even trigger because in my mind she is exhibiting traits of manliness. I don’t walk my bros home from the bar or club.

Bottom line if women want to be treated like women, act like fvcking women.
+1

Bang on. I would say, very few are feminine and worth the call back after smashin. I am not trying to be a ****kkk. Its just a mess these days. A lot of giys are mistaken a ONS for gf or wife. Its hilarious. I go as far as to linguistics Jersey shore or bro science talk at a woman as if to not acknowledge her femininity. She is not a woman nor treated as such. She can be non-maternal, not feminine, pan suits and Crater her SMV. I'm spitting game at her hot younger sister.
 

Murkserious

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Tbh a lot of women I meet and get involved with are traditional and feminine and disagree with this feminist movement
 

devilkingx2

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So recently I was out with my girlfriend and after the night was over everything was great, no worries.

Subsequently, I noticed my bus was leaving soon and she said it was ok for me to go get it. I realized 10 seconds after I ran off that I should have walked her to her bus because she was pretty drunk. So I ran back but lost her in the crowd. In my defense, I was also pretty drunk, so I guess my decision making skills weren't on point.

Anyway, later that night she told me that basically I was Hitler for not walking her home and the argument has lasted several days now.

In general though, people always say that walking a girl home (or in this case to the bus stop) is "the right thing to do", and I just cannot understand this. I messaged to make sure she got home safe, but apparently that's not enough. It just seems like women want to be equal to men in life, but not when it comes to stuff like this, they expect to be treated a certain way and I don't expect any such things from her. In my mind it just seems really contradictory, I honestly don't understand what's going on here, if I should accept it, look for another GF, or compromise with her?

Probably worth mentioning that this is my first serious relationship, and I don't know much about this stuff.
Well for one thing if you were too drunk to find her I doubt you could protect her from anything anyway, point that out to her lol.

I'd imagine that if she isn't paranoid and you don't live in a bad neighborhood, it seems like you don't care much about her if you want to part ways ASAP and can't even be bothered to see if she got home safe. Same as if you never call or text her after smashing because you were busy watching Daredevil Season 3


My opinion as a female. We are not “equal “ when it comes to physical strength. This is pretty obvious. When you walk alone at night are you concerned with being raped or mugged? Most men aren’t concerned with that because they can defend themselves. We are constantly concerned with the threat of physical violence when alone at night unless in a super safe area. And even then sometimes. It’s s REAL threat for us. You don’t have to be scared of a women grabbing you and raping you. Not saying this is fair, it just is reality.
What earth do you live on where men are suddenly immune to knives, bullets or being jumped?

As a guy I can tell you that I don't walk outside alone at 3am with full confidence that if 3 thugs or a guy with a knife/gun show up, that I'm about to John Wick their asses. The only reason I'm not worried about being raped is because of the astronomical odds of the thug being gay.
 

stormrider

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So recently I was out with my girlfriend and after the night was over everything was great, no worries.

Subsequently, I noticed my bus was leaving soon and she said it was ok for me to go get it. I realized 10 seconds after I ran off that I should have walked her to her bus because she was pretty drunk. So I ran back but lost her in the crowd. In my defense, I was also pretty drunk, so I guess my decision making skills weren't on point.

Anyway, later that night she told me that basically I was Hitler for not walking her home and the argument has lasted several days now.

In general though, people always say that walking a girl home (or in this case to the bus stop) is "the right thing to do", and I just cannot understand this. I messaged to make sure she got home safe, but apparently that's not enough. It just seems like women want to be equal to men in life, but not when it comes to stuff like this, they expect to be treated a certain way and I don't expect any such things from her. In my mind it just seems really contradictory, I honestly don't understand what's going on here, if I should accept it, look for another GF, or compromise with her?

Probably worth mentioning that this is my first serious relationship, and I don't know much about this stuff.
I would have just walked her home or to wherever she needed to go out of principle. And if she resists it, then I reject her for not being feminine. I act masculine first and then reject women for not being feminine...I don't act neutral and wait for women to be feminine before I act masculine. This is being reactive and following the woman's lead.

Sometimes I bump heads with feminists. That's fine. What I am NOT going to do is walk around being shapeless because I don't want to offend anyone.

You should set some principles on how you are going to act regardless of other people. And then live up to your principles regardless of other people. And if you don't get along with certain people, then it was meant to be. You shouldn't try to calibrate to the feminist movement. Calibrating according to the social climate is what women do, not men.

To me, making sure a woman is safe in the middle of the night is the sensible thing to do. And if she has issues with it, then I will next her for being a headcase. She's the weird one, not me. I don't buy into this new age crap of equality/sameness. Those women are weirdos anyway.
 
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marmel75

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Why wouldnt you want to? If you know what you are doing there is a good chance she invites you in and you bang her.
 
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